Warnings: Implied sex. AU.
Disclaimer: I own the words, but not the characters within.
Full summary: When you like someone, and you are presented the choice to be even get a glimpse of what it might be like, would you jump at the chance? You never know how things turn out if you do, and who knows if the chance would represent itself if you'd reject it at the time. And under what circumstances? For Cloud, it just seems too complicated.

A/N: Also, to say that I might have typos. I don't have microsoft word, so I'm pretty much just blind. Apology in advance!

Decisions

Cloud was sitting down on his black leather couch in his apartment, skimming through a magazine with the best ability he could, considering it was completely pitch black out, with the exception of the city lights. He wasn't really paying attention to anything in particular anyway. Tifa and Yuffie left his home, pettily arguing on the way out. Vincent had decided to skip out on the casual occasion, opting for a night of privacy instead. And Zack was... somewhere.

Sighing, the blond uneasily eyed his digital clock, which glowed a sickening shade of green, 2:19 in the morning, it said. Zack had never been a man who'd back down on a promise, at least not to him. He said he'd come over, so Cloud would wait. He tried to distract himself with the magazine again, curling over at the most interesting article he could find until his friend arrived.

He furrowed his brow, actually deep into thought about an article on how using sunblock would aid in better skin when a loud noise was heard at his door. Cloud's head shot up, staring at whomever had caused the commotion.

It was Zack Fair.

At first, Cloud hadn't noticed anything odd, leaping up to usher Zack in, closing the door and giving him a warm smile. "Zack, are you hungry? Do you need anything to dri--" Hesitation. When their eyes met, he had a double-take. His eyes.. Zack's eyes, which were usually a lively blue were now glazed, and eerily spacing out. When he leaned in closer to see if something was the matter,

Cloud smelled it. The alcohol... So he tried again. "..Zack?"

"Cloud." It was barely audible, just a whisper. Zack shifted uneasily, and glanced at the younger male. So beautiful, he thought, at the evening clothes that Cloud had worn, prepared for sleep. Now that Zack's vision was focussed, there was something there that Cloud couldn't quite read, something unfamiliar. For a split second there, it seemed the older male had regained common sense, that the alcohol had probably settled in, for him to be in a sedated state. Even so, Cloud couldn't seem to shake off the eerie feeling at the bottom of his stomach.

"Zack, maybe you should rest?" He lightly touched the taller man on the arm, tugging lightly towards his sofa, willing to let him be a guest for the night.

He'd turned his back, heading towards his room to get extra sheets and pillows. But he had barely gotten an eight of the way there when his route was interrupted by a harsh push to the wall. Cloud's breath hitched, eyes widening.

Perhaps it was that Zack got the wrong message, who knew what it was. Perhaps it had been his choice of attire, the loose long shirt, who would know? Who would know.

Despite Cloud trying to struggle out of the drunken male's cage, he froze up at Zack's arms and the wall surrounding him, no where to go, really. The dark haired male only inched in closer. "Cloud?" His name was murmured mutely, in the Zack's deep husky voice. It wasn't just the eyes, Cloud thought, there was something weird tinged in his voice too. There was something, but he simply couldn't tell. Something was laced in his voice, behind his actions.

For a minute moment, Cloud let his imagination get the best of him. The look in those bright blue eyes, possibly... desire? N-no. He was only fooling himself, at least, that's what Cloud reasoned. It's just the alcohol. Being deeply immersed in those thoughts, the blond hadn't paid attention to the man right in front of him.

He snapped back to reality in a second, the second he felt another body on his. Messy kisses were scattered all over his neck, and he gasped. Not being able to hold the moan that escaped him.

"Z-Zack!" Coming to his senses, Cloud pushed him away. The older male he adored so much. Even if he did like Zack, he didn't want him this way. It wouldn't be real. Even so, he still couldn't believe he had done that. If anytime, but this time.

At the chance of his freedom, he moved further away from his beloved friend, edging back into whatever was behind him, which had been his bedroom. He moved away from Zack's hardened glare, and it pained him. Anger had seeped into that alcohol-driven passion, and Cloud was scared. He'd never seen that look before either.

Zack followed his escape route, and closed the door behind him. Shit, Cloud mentally cursed. How stupid had he been to seek refuge in here? This time, Zack moved towards him again, and there was no escape. Cloud bit his lip in unfamiliar fear, unsure of what to do. "Zack..." He sighed, in his tiniest voice. Why was this happening?

No response. Calmly, as if he wasn't under the influence of alcohol at all, Zack moved near Cloud, forcefully holding his arms, hard. Also, trying to lean in for a kiss; the younger, shorter male turned his head in refusal to even look at the drunken man. He'd heard that his beloved could be violent, but never had it been with him. It had never occured to him that he would ever reject those lips. Oh Zack, why? Maybe it's better under these circumstances, rather then never. He turned back, a solemn look visible on his face, not that Zack was paying attention.

The tight grip on his arms were slowly aching now. He'd have a mark there tomorrow...

Zack's physical strength, along with Cloud's own surrender and could he dare to say it -- want? -- for this, he gave in.

Cloud always knew he had liked Zack, and there were more than one occurances, where he wanted him. But never this way, and never under these conditions. But to be honest, there was no evidence to his eyes, that Zack liked him. All those hugs, and those small kisses to the forehead, teasings. It wasn't some special treatment or anything. Zack had always been playful, and it wasn't particularly aimed at just him. Others had been blessed with this treatment as well. He had no idea where his thoughts were going now, but in the bottom of his mind, Cloud thought, Maybe this is my only chance.

He'd take it.

And he took it.

With every kiss exchanged, the scent of the cologne that had been so sweet -- that faded.

With every stroke of skin on skin, more tears streaked down his angelic face.

With each and up until the very last thrust -- a part of him died inside.

Soon the warmth of another's body was gone, and Cloud was all alone again. The silence was in his dark apartment again, and in a way, it was soothing. Physically alone outside, but the emptiness within overwhelmed that.

The tears wouldn't stop, at least not for now. And when they did, Cloud knew things would be different.

He moved to his balcony; the bright lights of the city didn't seem so beautiful anymore. The cool breeze didn't feel so lovely anymore, as it danced in his hair.

Hugging at his knees, almost curling into a ball, he stared outwards. Though he seemed lifeless, so still at the moment, the final lone tear escaped.

A/N: Who would've believed I had started this intending to write a fluff-filled story. Well, this is my first fic. I wanted to stop being a lurker, and with Zack and Cloud just jumping at my brain, I guess this is my result. I hope you like it, if not, then constructive criticism is appreciated, really. Comments are just appreciated as a whole.