IMPORTANT NOTE - PLEASE READ:
I personally headcanon Kanae as trans. In this fic I will be using he/his/him pronouns for Kanae. Don't like, don't read.
Chapter 1: Anteiku
Tsukiyama Shuu had come home drunk - again. He stumbled through the door, flung his blazer at Kanae and slurred the orders for his customary hot bath. However, something was different tonight: he'd been summoned to his father's quarters.
Shuu couldn't help but feel a bit apprehensive as staggered toward his father's salon, arm slung over Kanae's shoulders. He'd barely spoken to his father, let alone anyone, in months. Why was he being summoned now?
Kanae made a last ditch attempt to straighten Shuu's tie before gently nudging him into the room. Mirumo sat in a chair by the window, dressed in a robe and striped pajamas, his brow furrowed pensively.
"I've just received the bill," Mirumo said quietly, "for your latest escapade."
Shuu's face twisted as he struggled dimly to remember which "escapade" he was referring to. Maybe the one at the art auction, where he'd ordered endless drinks for everyone present? Or was it the Gourmet Club's Christmas Gala, the aftermath of which had left them nearly two months deep into renovations?
"Oh," he said simply. "I see."
Mirumo observed him for a few moments in silence. When he spoke, his voice was gentle. "Shuu, you are loved by so many. I, for one, have always loved you, and always will. And this, perhaps, is why losing that boy was so hard for you."
Shuu averted his eyes. 'No father,' he thought. 'That's not the reason.'
"The way you've suffered," Mirumo continued. "It frightened me. It frightened all of us. That is why I was pleased when you started going out again. Finally, I thought, that terrible dark time has lifted. Now I see it has merely taken on another form."
A hard lump was building in Shuu's throat. His vision began to blur as his father stood. By the time Mirumo reached him, he was bawling.
"I just can't forget him!" he wailed, snot running down his nose.
Mirumo patted his back softly. "There, there. Papa knows. That's why I'm banning you from the estate."
Shuu pulled back a little, not sure he'd heard correctly. "Wha -?"
"You'll find your bags have been packed," Mirumo went on, in that same, gentle tone. "I've asked Kanae to bring them downstairs. I'd suggest you either book a hotel or contact a friend. That small little hamster-like girl, perhaps she could help you."
Shuu was suddenly very sober. "What do you mean, ban me? Are you - am I being kicked out?!"
"Yes, well...that's a rather vulgar way to put it, but yes, yes you are."
The next thing he knew he was outside the gates with his luggage, his breath making little white clouds in the frigid night air as he pounded on the intercom, Kanae's worried face peeping from the window.
He tried calling his father, then Matsumae, to no avail. Apparently his number had been blocked. Eventually he settled on calling a taxi and renting his usual suite at the Park Hyatt. He spent the night sipping champagne and watching French indie films on the flat screen, so angry that he forgot to feel heartbroken for a change.
He expected a message from Matsumae the next morning. Unfortunately no one from the estate had even made the attempt to contact him. However, there was a call from the bank. His account had been closed.
He dumped his wallet onto the bed, counting up his cash in a state of panic. After that, he emptied the pockets of all his clothes and searched through every nook and cranny of his suitcase. At the end of the day, he came up with ¥49917.83.
Not even enough to cover room service.
So, using the hotel's phone, he did the one thing he should have done in the first place: call Hori Chie.
"I can't believe he actually kicked you out," she said, as they settled his bill at the front desk. "Did he say why?"
"I don't know, something about my spending habits," Shuu said vaguely. "I'll make sure to pay you back. As soon as I...regain my assets."
"Of course you will," she said crisply. "But where are you going to stay? Is there anywhere you can go?"
He smiled sheepishly. "About that..."
And so that was how he ended up staying at Hori's apartment. He was shocked and a bit concerned to learn that his friend was living in such dire straights. She only had one bedroom, the toilet didn't even have a bidet. Not to mention that dreadful imitation wood on the floor...
"Hori," he gasped, "my dear, how can did you end up in such a place?"
She glanced around the living room. "What do you mean?"
Shuu felt tears prick his eyes. Such guileless simplicity! He clasped her hands. "Hori, I promise to introduce you to all of the luxury you deserve as soon as it is in my power."
"Um, okay," she said, detaching herself delicately. "Anyway, let me show you where you can put your things..."
Shuu spent the next few days lounging around Hori's apartment. He raided her fridge and used her wifi to update his social media accounts (his followers were very supportive), and at night he slept on the sectional (he was definitely going to need a nice, long massage from Kanae as soon as he got back). To his knowledge, things were going as well as could be expected when on the fifth day Hori came home from work and told him to get out.
"You can't stay here," she said bluntly.
"C-can't stay?" he stammered. "But we've been getting along so well!"
"No we haven't. You leave all your dirty dishes in the sink, the couch is starting to smell like your cologne, and you take way too long in the shower."
"I can't help it if I have superior hygiene," he mumbled, flopping back on the sofa. He flung an arm across his forehead. "I'm sorry... I didn't mean to insult you. I just have nowhere else to go." He paused, sniffing the cushions. "Though I must say, this scent is an improvement..."
"Then get a job."
"Hori, this is no time for jokes."
A newspaper landed on his stomach. He lifted his head in surprise.
"Check the ad listings," she said. "I'm sure you'll find something."
He gaped at her. "You're serious." But she headed into the bedroom without answering.
Later that evening, as Hori sat at her computer editing photos, Shuu burst into the room.
"You might be onto something with this whole job thing," he said, as if they'd never left off talking.
"Oh? Did you already find something you liked?"
"Several, actually." He sprawled out on her bed, the newspaper in front of him. He pointed to a listing circled in red pen.
"Hiring full-time positions for Tokyo Fire Department,'" Hori read aloud. She blinked. "You want to be a firefighter?"
"Wouldn't I cut a dashing figure in uniform?" he said dreamily, flipping the page. He pointed to another listing.
"'Local police department'? 'Surgeon'? Shuu, you realize you actually need specialized training for all of these positions, right?"
He laughed airily. "Yes, but how hard could that be?"
Hori chose not to answer.
"I just don't understand," she said. "I always thought you'd want to do something related to fashion or culinary arts. Or even music."
"Those are my passions," he admitted. "But there will be time enough to pursue the arts when my father readmits me to the estate. Now is the perfect opportunity to take an adventure!"
"As an amateur scuba diving instructor?" she said, glancing at the paper.
"I circled that one before I found the opening for a marriage counselor. It would be so fulfilling to be able to help couples find love again..."
Hori watched him blankly as he continued to flip through the newspaper, babbling in excitement. In the past few days, she had come to the conclusion that Shuu was experiencing a form of denial. He'd never really come to terms with how things had ended with Kaneki, and now he'd been kicked out of his house. For a person under such an enormous amount of stress, he was handling it well.
Too well.
And now, choosing these unreasonable positions; he was running from reality, frantically. He needed some guidance.
Hori heaved a sigh, turning back to her computer and opening the web browser. She slowly began to search for open positions in the area. 'Not because I care,' she told herself. 'I just really want my apartment back.'
"Here," she said, gesturing to the screen. "Why don't you try some of these?"
He crawled to the edge of the bed with a frown. "Food service?" he scoffed. "Retail?! My pet, you must be joking. Surely the surgeon or the police officer would be - "
"You're not going to get any of those jobs," she said bluntly. He was visibly crushed, but she pressed on. "I need you out of this apartment. Find something you can actually do."
"Fine," he muttered, looking away with a pout.
"What about this one?" she said after a few moments. "It looks promising. It even comes with a place to stay."
He glanced at the screen. "I already told you, I'm not interested in food service. Besides, I -"
He stopped abruptly. Hori turned to look at him, but when she did she was surprised to see him already up and stumbling toward the computer.
"Anteiku," he read breathlessly, a smile slowly creeping across his face. "Anteiku! Hori, you're a genius!"
And if she would have let him, he would have spun her around in a tight embrace.
The next day, Shuu took the metro to Anteiku. He used the time to rehearse numerous possible scenarios, but nothing readied him for the ultimate shock he received when he was finally standing at the bar.
He was as beautiful as Shuu remembered. No, more beautiful. He'd...filled out a little. Correction, he'd filled out a lot. And he'd dyed his hair. But his eyes were the same; thoughtful eyes, a little older but still just as clear and deep.
Seeing him was like a bolt through the heart. Shuu almost needed to sit down.
"Welcome to Anteiku," Kaneki said, looking up from the register. "What can I get..."
His face paled in sudden recognition. Shuu threw on his most charming smile.
"Kaneki-kun!" he said, in what he hoped was a casual tone. "Long time no see, right? You've really changed your style. I must say, it does suit you magnificently!"
He ignored the compliment. "Hello Tsukiyama-san," he said coldly. "What can I get you today."
Monotone voice, no eye contact. It brought back memories of the last time they'd met in the campus parking lot, memories of Kaneki pulling away, muttering something, of cold rain...
Don't think about that now, Shuu told himself firmly. At least he's speaking to me. It's a start.
"Ah! Yes. About that." He propped an elbow on the counter. "I am here in regards to an ad I read in the paper. If I am not mistaken, there are two open serving positions, correct?"
"Yeah...?"
"I am here to apply for one of those positions."
Shuu was left smiling painfully into the awkward silence that followed. 'Why isn't he talking?' Shuu thought, his smile growing more and more strained with each millisecond. 'Did I say something wrong? It was his style, wasn't it? He never did like fashion. I shouldn't have mentioned his style!'
"All right," Kaneki said at last; Shuu practically collapsed onto the counter. "I don't handle the applications, though. That's -"
"My job."
A sturdy looking girl appeared behind the counter, her arms crossed. Shuu recognized her instantly.
"Kirishima-san! You're still working here? What a fortunate coincidence."
"Cut the crap, Shittyama. Why are you asking about applications? Did your daddy finally cut you off or something?"
The accuracy stung. "I merely wish to expand my repertoire," he answered vaguely.
She snorted. "Repertoire my ass. What makes you think you're even qualified for this job? Or did you think we'd just hire anyone?"
'Just anyone'? His smile twitched. Oh, if he didn't need this job... "I assure you," he replied carefully, "with my training in formal etiquette and culinary arts I am more than qualified to perform menial labor."
"Tch. Menial labor, huh?" she muttered, nostrils flared. "I don't have time for some spoiled little rich kid who probably doesn't even know how to hold a mop, so why don't you just take that application and shove it up your -"
"Touka-chan."
An elderly man approached them, laying a hand on Touka's shoulder. She quieted instantly, although her scowl didn't quite disappear. 'This must be the boss,' Shuu thought, eyeing him with curiosity.
"Please follow me upstairs," the man said politely. "I believe this affair would best be discussed in private."
"But boss," Touka protested.
The look he gave her was kind, but firm. "Please see to the customers, Touka-chan. Kaneki must be struggling all by himself."
Her scowl deepened, and she shot Shuu one last glare before stomping off. The old man waited until she was gone before facing Shuu.
"Now then," he said, "please follow me."
The room they sat in was comfortable, if not sparse (at least by typical Tsukiyama standards). Shuu waited on the leather sofa, legs crossed, as the old man prepared some refreshments - which, even in Shuu's limited experience, seemed like an odd thing to do for a job interview.
"Now then," the old man said, sitting across from him, "why Anteiku?"
Shuu launched into the speech he'd prepared on the train. "I saw an ad on the internet, and since I have always been interested in culinary arts I thought this would be an excellent opportunity to familiarize myself with the nuances of latte art."
"Yes, but why Anteiku?" he pressed. "You could have chosen any venue, and yet you chose this one. Such a humble establishment doesn't seem to fit the credentials of Tsukiyama Mirumo's son."
"You know my father," Shuu said, unable to hide the shock on his face. The old man smiled.
"Yes; in a way. I know enough to understand that the food service industry is an odd career choice for his child."
"Yes, well, life does take unexpected turns," Shuu muttered. To think, this old waiter knew his father! He wondered what sort of "unexpected turn" could have possibly brought those two together.
"Indeed. Which is why I feel it was more than just coffee that drew you to this place. Would you please confide this reason to me?" His lips curved into a smile. "Consider it the first question on your job application."
Shuu's smile vanished. This was...not what he'd been expecting. Not at all.
But he needed this job. He needed it desperately.
"I used to come here quite frequently in the past," he began. "As a customer, of course. I have fond memories of this place. Memories of things - of people," he corrected quietly, "that I miss."
Banjou...Little Hinami...
Kaneki.
The old man's thoughtful silence encouraged him. He took a deep breath, inhaled the air filled with the scent of warmth and coffee and memories. "Really," he said, "as soon as I saw the ad, I knew it had to be this place. It had to be. There was no need to go anywhere else, when he is -"
His mouth clamped shut. He cleared his throat, reaching for his coffee and taking a frantic sip. It was scalding. He coughed, spluttering the mouthful all over himself.
Mon dieu, this was a disaster.
"My apologies," he managed to croak. "I just - I -"
The old man handed him a napkin. "There is no need to apologize," he said. "Thank you for sharing your story. I hope the passion and dedication I felt in your words will show through in your work tomorrow."
Shuu froze. "My work?" he said. "You mean - "
"Welcome to Anteiku, Tsukiyama Shuu."
The words were still ringing in Shuu's ears as he skipped down the stairs. To think, he'd made it (although it had come at the costs of his favorite blazer, but nevertheless)! Things were finally looking up.
"Kaneki-kun!" he called out, strutting over to the bar. "Would you like to know how my interview went?"
Kaneki, who was wiping down the counter, spared him a glance. "Not particularly, but you look happy, so I'm guessing you got the job."
"Your guess is correct! You always were sharp."
Kaneki shot him an irritated look. Shuu could feel his cheeks grow warm. He was going to have to be more careful from now on. He couldn't come on too strong, at least not at first. Not until things were right between them again.
"Anyway," he continued, in what he hoped was an easy tone, "I look forward to working with you, Kaneki-kun. Let's try our best!"
He turned to go, and was halfway to the door, when Kaneki suddenly barked, "Tsukiyama-san."
"Yes?" Shuu breathed, floating back over.
Kaneki leaned over the counter. Shuu could smell the crisp scent of his aftershave ('C-calmato, calmato…').
"I don't mind working with you," he said lowly, "but if you pull that same stunt on anyone here that you pulled with me, I'll kick your ass."
He turned and headed into the kitchen, the door swinging behind him. Shuu stood for a moment in silence before slumping against the counter. He covered his mouth, his knees trembled.
Kaneki-kun, badass mode.
Snip, snip, snip.
Miles away, outside of the city, Kanae trimmed the rose bushes in the greenhouse alone.
There had been no word from Shuu-sama since his expulsion from the manor. At least, no word that had been passed down to them. Kanae didn't know what Shuu-sama was eating, where he was sleeping - although presumably he was staying with that little mouse. Kanae's jaw clenched; as if she were to be trusted...He could only hope that she was keeping Shuu-sama happy, and healthy, and warm. In the meantime, Kanae would tend to the roses that Shuu-sama liked so much. That way, when he was allowed to return, Kanae could bring him here and they could gaze at the flowers together...Until then, if Shuu-sama could just stay safe...If Kanae could just wait patiently...If this physical, gut-rotting pain could subside, if he could only be strong for Shuu-sama...
'I miss you,' Shuu-sama, Kanae thought, and the pain escalated until he could barely breathe.
His pocket began to vibrate. Kanae checked his pager quickly; Mirumo-sama. He set down the shears and shrugged quickly into his coat, stepping out into the night.
A light snow was falling. Kanae buried his hands in his pockets to keep them warm (fortunately Kanae remembered to pack Shuu-sama an extra pair of gloves). Kanae wondered why Mirumo-sama was summoning him at this hour. Lately Mirumo was keeping him at arm's length. In fact, the only servant that he really seemed to confide in at all these days was Matsumae. If Mirumo was summoning Kanae now, it must be something big.
Perhaps he would announce that Shuu-sama was coming home...
Kanae quickened his pace, and within just a few moments he was inside, bowing before Mirumo-sama, his cheeks still red from the cold.
"Thank you for coming," Mirumo said kindly. He was reclining on a settee, a blanket over his knees and a book in his lap. Kanae made a worried note of the dark circles ringing his eyes. Shuu's absence was obviously taking its toll.
"You called for me, Mirumo-sama?"
"Yes. I would like you to pay Shuu a visit."
Kanae's heart leapt. "Then I am to bring him home, sir?" he asked, voice strained as he struggled to contain his excitement.
"No," Mirumo said, "not yet."
Bitterness rose in the back of Kanae's throat like bile.
"I see, sir," he said thickly. He averted his eyes. "Forgive my impertinence."
"There is nothing to forgive," Mirumo assured him. "I know how you miss him, Kanae" - Kanae reddened; was he that obvious? - "but Shuu is not yet ready to return."
"Ready, sir?" Kanae asked, head tilted.
Mirumo folded his hands in his lap. "His entire life, Shuu has had the protection of this family to rely on," he said, his eyes wandering. "How would he do, I wonder, if that protection suddenly vanished? I want him to be strong, Kanae. I want to see him struggle with life, and come out victorious. I want to know that whatever happens, he will be all right..."
His voice trailed off thoughtfully. A little worried line formed between Kanae's brow. Mirumo smiled.
"Don't let this cryptic old man frighten you, Kanae," he said. "I'm merely feeling my age tonight. But please, do tell me your thoughts."
Kanae hesitated. "The methods, sir," he began slowly, "do you not think them a bit too...jarring? Master Shuu has not yet fully recovered from this latest shock."
"You mean the incident with that Kaneki boy?" Mirumo asked. He didn't seem to notice the scowl that briefly darkened Kanae's face. "I have tried other methods, but Shuu has rejected all my attempts. I have consulted with his psychiatrist, and if she had not assured me that Shuu was currently able to adjust safely to this change, I would not have done it. However, this is exactly why I want you to track him down. Assess his well-being, Kanae. If Shuu is not completely safe, do not hesitate to return with him. I will trust your judgment."
Kanae bowed his head, placing his hand over their heart. "Yes, Mirumo-sama. I will go to him at once."
"Start with Hori Chie," Mirumo instructed. "Although I don't believe he is with her anymore."
"Where is he, sir?"
Mirumo's eyes sparkled. "Some place called Anteiku."
TBC...
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