A.N.- I own nothing in this story.
She looked over at her passenger."Thank you for doing this for me," she says, fighting backtears. "Anytime."
The door opened, and he stumbled in. Drunk. Again. Past midnight. Again. She didn't think he was cheating on her. He was probably just hanging out with his friends. Ever since she'd moved in with him, after they got engaged, he'd been doing this at least once a week. Ever since then, she'd been having doubts. They were so unlike. She knew she'd end up living in Hartford, in a mansion as big and cold as his family's, with only a couple maids for company who she would be reprimanded for befriending. She would end up a trophy wife, producing an heir and raising her children in the same fashion as her grandmother. As much as she loved Emily Gilmore, she didn't want to be like her, or have the same relationships with her children. She wasn't even sure whether or not she wanted children.
Lorelai Huntzberger. Rory Huntzberger. It sounded so wrong. She wanted to keep her maiden name, stay Rory Gilmore. But Logan's family would never allow that. They probably wouldn't even let her make it into a hyphenate, although that made sense. Gilmore-Huntzberger was much too hard to say. She wished that the 'name issue,' as she had come to call it, was the only doubt she had. The only thing coming between her and Logan, but it was the least of her issues.
She couldn't live the way he wanted to, and he couldn't live the way she wanted to. He wanted to live in Hartford, continue the life he'd lived his whole life, but with her there to make it more manageable. She was a small town girl, born and raised. Her politics and beliefs about life wouldn't mesh with high society. She was too much like her mother, more than she's ever thought. Her mother, who would bring up politics to annoy her father's snobby elitist parents. Her mother, who had lived in tiny Stars Hollow for 22 years, and never wanted to leave. She wanted to travel, and see the world, but she wanted to be able to come home to Miss Patty, Babette, Taylor, Luke, her mother, Gypsy, Andrew, Dean, and everyone else in Stars Hollow at the end of the day. What would she do without Sookie, Jackson and Davey, and all the crazy stories about them her mother told her? How could she live without the off chance that some crazy guy with a closet full of board games would ask her to water his lawn? How could she raise a kid without town meetings, where she could babble on about a song to tell her boyfriend she loved him? Someplace without round cakes, and people who noticed what you're reading, and kept track of it, someplace where a boyfriend builds you a car instead of borrowing Daddy's credit card and buying you a fancy one, and made you a bracelet for your birthday before you were officially dating? A world where everything was about money, the world that threw you a party because the man you were dating was too poor, even if he was perfect in every other way. Sometimes she enjoyed going to that world, but she knew she could never live there.
What his parents had said about her when they had first started dating had been completely true. She didn't understand what it took to be a part of his world, and what she did understand she didn't want to be a part of. She could accept it to visit her grandparents, because they were her grandparents; she was a sweet girl, and could never hate her own family for how they chose to live. She could even enjoy parts of it, because it was her grandparent's world, and she owed it to them to be a good granddaughter after barely knowing them for the first sixteen years of her life. She had accepted Logan's proposal because he made everyone she cared about so happy, and she didn't care enough to go against them. Now she was just being herself, and refusing to let go of her love for him, even if she couldn't see that herself.
"Hey, Ace, you off in another world there?" Logan asked her, falling into bed next to her. "I'm just thinking about us." she told him, hoping he'd pick up on the fact that she was unhappy. All he did was start kissing her and tug at her shirt.