He sits out on the rocky outcrop, dyna, leather, gun and all. He doesn't feel like the badass biker, the Tacoma Killer, the Redwood Assassin, no he feels like a week man. For the first time in over a decade he feels lost, more than a little forlorn. It's the days like these that he truly misses her, when the empty void in his heart aches. It's been little over a year and it isn't any easier than the first time he realized she wasn't coming home. He had torn apart their little ranch style home, knowing that if she had been there she wouldn't have tolerated his binge drinking. She had slipped off the back of his Harley and just stared at the little blue house, he didn't have to look to know his girl was smiling. They had been together a year and he wanted to make sure she was taken care of. With the help of his mother and aunt, they had turned it into a real home.
His Laney was beautiful, always had been, filled with a fire that was rare for woman in this life. She wasn't naive like Tera, jaded like Gemma, she was purely her own. She never lied to him, her blunt honesty and wisdom with that gentle touch had been his undoing on many nights. She had known how to push his buttons; she always knew just what he needed. He had been curious the first time he had met her, hell, they'd been tending to a wounded brother, no one expected her. Bruise on her jawline, cuts on her knuckles, torn jeans and that damn breathtaking smile. She had wrapped her arms around "Uncle Elvis" and then proceeded to question "Uncle Alex's" latest fetish. He watched Tig glance her over, had seen the Samcro SSA's eyes steel over. She had deflected all questions simply by saying she had taken care of the problem, the jackass would need facial reconstruction. She had turned towards him, as Tig made the introductions. He had been caught by surprise as she joked around with him and Half Sack.
She had surprised him yet again when she jumped onto Tig's baby and gunned it after the black van, even more surprised when she had stood up to Clay. The girl was a walking wet dream; she'd chewed out their former president, never once backing down. He had admired her for doing something he never would, an order was an order and he was the ever faithful solider. She had smiled at the Scotsman, hugging Jax and Opie, all while glaring out at Clay. It would take a while but soon enough they grew closer, knowing that if he was going to take an Old Lady he would have no other. They had kissed before he went to Ireland, when she had pulled back she told him he better come back and finish what he had started. All he could do was hug her closer and kiss her doubts away. He had approached Koziak and told him to look out for his girl, it was his duty as her man. Koziak had clapped him on the shoulder, warning him what Quinn would do once he found out about Hap and his baby girl.
When he came back she had pushed her way through the throng of crow eaters and smiled up at him. He'd pulled her flush to his body and kissed her, the clapping and whistling from everyone had been drowned out. It wasn't long after that she'd taken his ink, a beautifully gruesome skull surrounded by crows and his name. it had been 2 weeks after that he had proposed, one knee and all. She was his and he would do right by her, she deserved no less for dealing with all his jacked up shit. She wasn't one to bitch about his road trips or road pussy but she had lain down the law, if he got to play then so did she. He had relented, lap dances only but he wasn't interested, he had a prime steak waiting at home. Quinn had pulled him aside one day, sat him down and told him, brother or not, he'd end up hurting if he hurt his baby girl. Hell, she'd probably put a bullet in him first.
He loved his girl, never doubted it for a second. A man like him didn't let anything affect him and if something did, it was either get rid of it or live with it. Happy had looked at her, curly brown hair, dark eyes and that damn smile, hell he didn't have it in him to send her away. He knew he had been a selfish asshole but damn it he needed her. Her love had made him stronger, it had made him smarter. He had her waiting at home, no distance was to far to be in her arms. When the Nomad breakins had started he had inisited she be with a brother at all time and she had accepted it. However Juice had been called off by Clay and his beautiful girl was gone. He didn't want to believe it but there was to much blood for her to be alive. It had hurt him but what crushed him was when he found that damn stick. They were going to have a child, a baby girl he imagnes, someone beautiful like Lanely.
When Jax had brought to the table the truth, Clay was a rat, Clay was the one behind her murder, Hap only saw revenge. He only saw the man that had given up his beautiful woman in cold blood. He only saw how he could make Clay feel an eighth of what he had felt that night. It was done now, he had bent to Jax's will, fighting it every step of the way. He couldn't have her, but as Chibb's had put it, would she have wanted him without family? Now he couldn't fuck another woman, it always felt like cheating, it was never the same as his Old Lady, as his wife. He dreams about what life would have been if Lanely and his little girl were alive, it was in his opinion worse then any hell he could ever face. He still holds a sliver of hope, maybe his girl is out there somewhere, maybe she's just to scared to come home. They had never found her body and Hap refused to burry an empty coffin, he wouldn't morn until he knew. Quinn had sunk so deep into a bottle and Hap had punished himself, they should have been able to keep her safe.
Now all Happy felt was empty, he turned back to his dyna, needing to get back to the clubhouse. "I'm sorry girl, I love ya."