A/N: New story! Honestly, I didn't know where to go with the last one, but I have a pretty good idea of what to do here. I'm planning things out, and hopefully you guys like the story as much as I like writing it! So here it goes. By no means do I own Glee, the characters, or anything except my own imagination. Hope y'all enjoy!

It took her a long time to get to this place. College was miserable for Rachel Berry for the first year and a half; she went to class, went back to her dorm, cried herself to sleep, and that was it. There was no friend making, no going out there to star in the freshman showcases or in the productions that the school would put on, she didn't explore New York much or find a special place that made her coffee exactly how she liked it. It was like she might as well have been in Lima because she was wasting precious oxygen from a place that she'd once considered to be so magical and perfect. Rachel blamed New York for a long time. She blamed the city for having everything that she wanted, the theaters, the lights, the noise, it was New York's fault that she wasn't married to the love of her life and that he wasn't settling into bed next to her every night, it was New York's fault for being so perfect for her, more perfect than he was even.

But that was a year and a half ago.

She can remember the night that she let him go as if it were yesterday. She texted him about three times that day, begging him to respond, before Kurt and Santana found her phone in the kitchen of their brand new apartment- they'd been in the city for long enough, why live in a dorm with strangers when you can have two of your best friends around? Rachel regretted that choice as soon as she found that his number along with all of their text messages had been completely erased from her phone. She cried as she slammed on Santana's bedroom door, practically breaking it down.

"H-How dare you touch my cell phone? And deleting my messages with Finn? How would you like it if I went through all of your things and got rid of everything that involved Brittany? Because lord knows that it's done between you two. It's over and it's been over, Santana! You're in no position to te-"

"I did it."

Kurt steps out of his own bedroom, arms crossed over his chest. "I erased it all and with good reason."

Rachel's eyes widen as she faces Santana, noting the hurt look that she was trying to hide in her own face. "I-I…I didn't…" Santana slams the door shut in Rachels face and she sighs, tears still rolling down her cheeks.

"Do you see what this has done to you, Rachel? He's not coming back, not any time soon, and I hate to see you suffer like this. He put you on that train so you can have a better life, a life that you've been dreaming about long before you even knew Finn Hudson existed!" Kurt places a hand on her shoulder, squeezing it gently. She can hear him sigh, but refuses to turn around. "If you won't do it for that girl, then at least do it for him. He's gonna want to see your name in lights when he gets back."

And ever since that day it'd been like Rachel was a new person. She didn't dress as much like a toddler anymore, her appearance had advanced to something more mature (much to Kurt's pleasure), and she was getting out there more often .The new Rachel Berry went on dates, she went out with friends and enjoyed wine and going to clubs, the new Rachel Berry liked dancing and spending lazy days in at home with her best friends- she was more relaxed, more down to earth, and she definitely didn't let any man hold her back from doing what she wanted.

"Kurt! This place is insane! How am I supposed to hear anything?" She screams out to her best friend who was happily voguing in his own corner, minding his own business because he had his own boyfriend back in Lima. Tonight they were celebrating the end of midterms and Kurt's raise from intern to actual assistant in the magazine that he'd been working for since he'd moved out to New York. Santana was somewhere around the club with some girl she'd been dating for a few weeks now, something that Rachel just liked to roll her eyes at because there was no chance in hell that it'd last- Santana traded women like she changed underwear.

"I know right? It's pretty crazy!"

Rachel can see Kurt's eyes widen as the deep voice comes from behind her and the brunette furrows her eyebrows before she turns and smiles coyly. He was handsome, extremely handsome, so handsome that even Kurt (who was practically married) was squeezing her hand tightly.

"I wasn't speaking to you, but thanks for the input!" She calls out again, attempting to play it cool.

Then man just chuckles and shakes his head "How about you do speak to me then? I'll buy you a drink."

And before she even has the chance to deny him, he's already ordered her a long island and himself another glass of Jack. She smiles and leans closer to him, extending her hand. "I'm Rachel. I figure that if you're going to be the gentleman who's to blame for my complete lack of sobriety tonight then you should at least know my name." She giggles.

He laughs and takes her hand in his own. "Matthew! I figure that if you're going to be the woman I drool over all night then you should at least know my name."

He can't really tell, but she was blushing at his words. And just like that, her night had taken a turn for the best. She spent most of her time sitting at the bar, ignoring the stares she was getting from Kurt and Santana, and letting Matthew buy her shot after shot, downing them all and giggling more as the time passed. Three hours later and Rachel found herself making out with him in the backseat of a taxi cab, moaning as his hand moved up her knee to the inside of her thigh, closer and closer to where she wanted him before she pushed the hand away and shook her head, giggling. "Yoooou have to wait until we get back to my place silly." They both laugh before diving in for more kisses until the driver stops and asks them for the fee. Matthew passed him a hundred dollar bill and told him to keep the change as he hurried Rachel out of the cab and into the building.

They laugh and stumble the entire way to the elevator and to her door, Rachel leading him to the wrong floor twice by accident, before they finally reached her apartment door. She moans and rubs her backside against his now tented pants as he takes the chance to kiss her neck and below her ear. "Y-You need to not do that! I can't even open the doo- yay!" She giggles as she gets it open but gasps when the man lifts her in his arms and pins her against the wall, an almost sinful smile on his face as he whispers against her hot skin.

"I'm going to give you the best ride of your night. Are you ready for me, baby?"

She moans and nods her head, moving off of him and giggling as she walks further into the apartment, about to toss her purse on the couch. Then she sees him.

For a minute she thought she was imagining him again. Back when she first arrived to the city, Rachel would cry and fight with Kurt because she swore she'd see him everywhere and he'd have to console her and prove her wrong. Rachel stumbles forward and squints her eyes at him, obviously intoxicated as she does so, and he suddenly chuckles and moves a strand of her hair away from her face. None of the other Finn's ever did that to her.

"Who's this clown?" Matthew asks.

"Get out." She's looking down now but can sense that Matthew is confused and Finn is…well she has no connection to Finn anymore; she can't tell what he was thinking.

"What? Baby I thought we were having a good time together. What di-"

"Not you, Matthew." She looks up at Finn, tears in her eyes "Him. You have two second to get out of my face or so help me god, Finn Hudson."

"Rachel, I really need to t-" Rachel is quick to lift a hand and slap him right across the face, making him groan in pain. "Rach…" He looks up at her, his hand against his cheek.

"No! No, y-you do not come into my home unannounced a-and you do not talk to me after I tell you to get out. In my m-mind, you died in that war Finn. So get the hell out of my apartment." She glares at him, fighting the tears back. It was always like he could look into her soul, see beyond the words that she was speaking and he just knew that she was hurt. He sighs and shakes his head at her before walking towards the door. Rachel watches as he stops at Matthew first and glares at him, shoving him into the wall.

"If you hurt her, I swear I'll come back for you. So you might as well leave now if you don't have anything but the best intentions with her."

"Dude, I just want a good fu-"

"Finn! Out!" She stands in front of Matthew. Her life was no longer his business and he wasn't allowed to speak to her guests that way. He looks at her again, a pained expression in his eyes before he turns and walks out of the apartment.

She doesn't sleep with Matthew that night. Instead she kicks him out shortly after she'd kicked Finn out and spends the night in Kurt's bed with him, sobbing against his chest the entire time.

He wasn't allowed to just walk back into her life like that, was he? It wasn't fair that he kept changing the game on her. One day he wants to get married, the next he puts her on a train for New York. One day he's completely lost and dead to her, the next he's standing in the middle of her living room, waiting for her as if it were that easy to get her to listen and forgive him.

Finn Hudson texted her for the first time in two years that night- all it read was 'I'm sorry, Rachel.' It was enough to break her completely.