A/N: Konichiwa :D this is my first fanfic, so dont bite me to death if it sounds weird :O thankyou for taking the time to read this! :) Sorry if I happen to write out of character for some people :C
Pairings: Bel x Fran, Squalo x Xanxus, Tsuna x Hibari, Mukuro x Chrome, Yamamoto x Gokudera, Lambo x Reborn, Colonello x Lal Mirch, Fon x Mammon, Giotto x Alaude, Asari x G (not all shown in every chapter) You can request for additional pairings if you want in your reviews :D
Note: This is set in a different universe TYL, where the ring battles existed but Byakuran is a good guy :D
Disclaimer: I dont own Katekyo Hitman Reborn, if I did, Tsuna would forever be in his hot and sexy HDWM :D
Key: italics = letter, [] = own thoughts of whoever is reading the letter, ' ' = thoughts
Enjoy reading desu!~ ;DDDD
Chapter 1:
"SHIT!" cried Fran monotonely.
"Ohohohohohoho! You lose the bet Franny!" Lussuria the gaylord snickered and clapped his hands with glee.
"Damn. How the hell would I know that Levi is gay for the boss? Its not fair since you have been here longer than I have!" Fran complained.
"Its too obvious! Anyway too bad, Franny-kun! Pay up now." smirked the gaylord.
"Dammit. Our Varia paycheck doesnt come until next week and I have just use finished this month's paycheck to get my new Ferrari."
"I dont care just pay up now."
"I seriously dont have any extra cash, gaylord!" Fran yelled and thought 'whoops I called him gaylord right into the face'.
"Ohohohoho, what was that Franny-kun?"
"What are you deaf?" Fran retorted in monotone.
"Ohohohohoho, anyway, since you cant pay, I guess I will have to think up of a forfeit for you."
"Oh please let it not be me in your stupid pink lolita dresses." Fran said without any expression, though inside he was mentally begging him not to.
"Fine." Lussuria said and Fran heaved a sigh of relief. "But only for this time." And then he groaned. It was silent while Lussuria was thinking of a forfeit for Fran.
"I know!" Lussuria giggled as he hit his fist against his hand and Fran could mentally see the lightbulb flash above his head. "You can create a love advice column!"
"What the hell is that?"
"Its like an advice column, people write in to you, and you will be like the love doctor, writing back to them and advising them what they should or should not do!"
"...That sounds stupid. Who would even wanna go post up there?"
"Ohohohohoho! No problem, Fran-chan! Just post this up on the Vongola Website and everyone in the Vongola can write to you! Just remember to keep your identity hidden though." Lussuria giggled girlishly again and Fran shivered.
"Okay, gay-I mean Lussuria. So if I do this, I wont be oweing you anything anymore, ne?" Fran asked the gaylord before he left for his room.
"Haihai, Fran-chan." Lussuria replied and started giggling again like a madman, maybe madwoman in this case. Fran turned slightly pale and left the room in a flash.
After an hour, Fran finally created finish the love-advice column layout and he sighed lightly. 'Stupid gaylord making me do all this crap.'
"VOOOOIII, Fran! Come down to eat your dinner before it turns cold!" Squalo yelled from the dining room on the first floor. His voice was definitely freaking loud as Fran could even hear him loud and clear when his room is on the third floor.
"Whatever, stupid long hair captain," Fran muttered under his breath as he posted the love-advice column on the Vongola Webpage and closed his teal-coloured laptop. He then hurried downstairs before the baka-shark yelled at him again and most probably break his eardrums.
"VOI Fran what took you so long!" Squalo complained while eating his plate of seafood pasta.
Xanxus, seated beside Squalo, was eating his usual salisbury steak and wine while Lussuria was out of sight, probably in the kitchen cooking more food for the Varia.
"Ushishishi froggy took so long until the prince thought you were dead. Ushishi!" Bel snickered as he dug into his plate of sushi (A/N: In Reborn fanbook, Bel's fav food is sushi :D)
"What prince? I only see a fake one." Fran replied in his expert montonous voice and three knives lodged themselves into Fran's arm.
"Itai. Squalo taichou, Bel-senpai is stabbing me again."
"VOIIIII stop arguing you two and eat your lunch before I slice you into shish kebab!" Squalo retorted, feeling frustrated.
"Haihai."
"Ushishishi."
After that Fran ate his dinner in silence, but he was unaware of a certain prince staring at him under his bangs all throughout lunchtime.
When Fran returned back to his room, he opened his laptop and saw many people had already posted comments on his love-advice column. He started to read the first one.
Dear Love Doctor,
I'm in love with a certain carnivore, but I dont think he likes me alot, as he claimed to wanna 'bite me to death' whenever he sees me.*HIIIIEEEE!* I am
much like the loser my home-tutor calls me, and I dont think my crush likes that, as he is super strong (thats one of the reason why I like him).*blush*
I hope you can give me some love advice.
Hopeless Loser
Fran snorted. This would most probably be the Vongola Boss writing to him. 'I didnt know Tsuna had feelings for Hibari. This would be interesting," Fran smirked as he typed back his reply.
Dear Clumsy-Brunette,
I think I know who you are. And your crush as well. *smirk* If your crush wants to 'bite you to death', just let him do it. I mean literally bite. Just go up
boldly to him and say "Please Bite Me to Death, Hiba-oops sorry, _(insert crush name here)". I'm sure he will leave a few 'love bites' if
he loves you enough.
Love Doctor
Fran chuckled quietly to himself as he scrolled down to look at the next letter.
Dear Love Doctor,
Ahaha, konichiwa!*smiling like the idiot I am* I am currently with my boyfriend for three months now, but he usually shouts at me, calling me "Baseball
Idiot" and insults me all the time. But I kind of like it. Hahaha!*continues smiling* Anyway, recently I have tried to get him to play baseball, but he
always refuses and says that playing baseball is stupid. That kinda hurt my feelings'coz baseball means alot to me. What should I do?
the Baseball Idiot
Fran raised his eyebrows slightly. 'Another Vongola couple? The Baseball Idiot should be Idiotic Long Hair Captain's student-swordsman, ne?' he thought as he replied the happy-go-lucky swordsman.
Dear Idiot-who-cannot-stop-smiling,
Wow, is being a yaoi couple now a new trend in Vongola? That would explain the love-sick glances between Bossu and Squalo, the noises and oh-so-loud
moans coming from Bossu's room at night. Whoops, shouldnt have leaked that out. Anyway, if you are so desperate to play baseball with the silvernette,
you can try making a deal with him? If hes the energetic kind who would do you-know-what stuff in the bedroom at night, then force him play baseball
with you if he craves to do the yeah-you-know with you at night. Hope this helps.
Love Doctor
'Actually, this is kinda fun. Must go thanks the gaylord later for making me do this.' Fran thought, then afterwards he shuddered. 'No wait- if I were to thank the gaylord he would squeal again like a madwoman and start talking all sorts of sick and gay crap that I would rather dig out my own grave to hear..anyway, next letter'
Dear Love Doctor,
Oya oya, I wonder who is setting up such a childish website on the Vongola webpage, but it sounds like something my obnoxious Little One would do.
Kufufufufu! Anyway, I basically got no problem with my lovelife and I dont need any advice since my lovely Chrome will never backstab me. Literally too.
Kufufufu, so I just came here to disturb you since Im bored.
Ciao!
The great Illusionist 69
P.S do you want to form a contract with me? Kufufufu.
'Pineapple shishou is on the computer? Oh right he got out of Vendicare because of my help.' Fran thought. A smug smile crept onto his face as he typed back his reply.
Dear Not-so-great Pineapple Head Master,
Hello shishou. How nice*cough* to hear from you. Yeah it does seem like something Fran would do, and to be honest shishou, it would be nice to know if
Chrome cheated on a certain pineapple master. After all I dont know how she could stand your weirdness and *cough*pervertness*cough* all this time.
It would be nice for her to have a real boyfriend who has not-so-creepy eyes and no stupid pineapple hairstyles. Which reminds me, you forced her to have
that hairstyle didnt you, pineapple shishou? If she did not have that style, you said you would rape her. What a bad Master I have.
Love Doctor
P.S I dont think you would want to form a contract wth me. Unless you wanna get stabbed by a sadistic and crazy fake prince all day long.
The truth is, Fran had actually formed a contract with the pineapple before. Since Mukuro was his Master, it was necessary for the pineapple to have a contract with his student. Except that Mukuro couldnt stand being in a emotionless and monotonous mode and soon got tired of it so he demolished his 'contract' with Fran (A/N: Im not sure if Mukuro can actually demolish his contracts, but I just made this thing up) and let the emotionless frog take full control of his own self.
Dear Love Doctor,
Ohohohohohoho~ I see that you have set up the love advice column already, ne? I would want some love advice too! My recent target has been the fit-
and-muscular Vongola sun guardian.*Ohohohohohoho, nosebleed* Just thinking about his handsome abs make me wanna go 'kyaaaaaaaaaaa!' ~ Hes
has that perfect body I like,- no LOVE since I met him at the ring conflict and I bet he have grown better and fitter and sexier since then! KYAAAAAAAAA!
So what do you think? Should I go see him? Maybe in my pink lolita dress with hot pink highheels and heart-shaped sunglasses?
KYAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! *faints from nosebleed*
Big Sis Lus~
'Damn that stupid gaylord. Writing this kind of pervertic nonsense on my webpage, argh my innocent mind is now so damn tainted...' Fran moaned silently to himself and began to type back his reply.
Dear Gaylord,
Please do not spam my innocent and un-polluted website with your perverted talk and 'kyaaaaaa's. The people here are not like the girlish and sick
gay you are. Though some here are really gays but they are not perverted(with an exception of a certain perverted pineapple). You can do whatever you
want with Vongola's sun guardian, gaylord. Just dont bother my website anymore and leave it clean and unpolluted for my readers and viewers. Oh and he
would love to see you in that hot pink outfit. Except that afterwards he would immediately faint from bloodloss or hallucinates that he somehow ended up
at Girlish Gay Land with a girly and gayish freak next to him.
Love Doctor
'Hope the gaylord doesnt come back. Dont wanna have another round of girlish-gayness.' Fran thought as he scrolled down to read the next letter.
Dear Love Doctor,
VOOOOOOOOOIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!
Yo trash, whoever you are! Im not here for some love advice, but I would really want to know if someone who pulls your long hair all the time, throw wine
cups at your head whenever hes in a bad mood, calls you "shark trash" *VOOOOOOOOIIIIIII!* and lock you up in his bedroom at night doing...*blush*
'you-know-what!' is considered your lover? Dont tell anyone who I am if you know who this is. VOOOOOIIIIIIIII!
Certain shark
'Knew idiotic long hair captain had love problems. Who could put up with the violent Bossu for so long?'
Dear Shark trash(sorry cant help calling you that),
Sorry to inform you but your first word(or shout) had already given away your identity, long hair baka-shark. Yeah right if you're not here forlove advice
then why do you even bother coming to this website? Or have you been influenced by the stupid pineapple? Anyway, Bossu is a unique lover and he has a
very colourful and violent way of showing his love and affection for you, long hair shark. Yeah so that can be considered your lover. Now you can go have a
happy-never-after with your beloved Bossu.
Love Doctor
With that, Fran clicked the 'send' button and he closed his teal-coloured laptop. He turned to his digital clock on the wall and it said "11.59PM". Stifling a yawn, he fell back against his bed and drifted off to sleep.
While Fran was busy typing back replies to his 'love advice' column, Bel had made his way back to his princely room after dinner and was lying down on his fit-for-a-prince bed with a shiny red laptop in front of him.
'I wonder whats froggy doing,' Bel thought as he waited for his laptop to boot up, then he sighed. 'Argh, why does the prince keep thinking about the frog lately? About how he walks, how he talks, his hair, soft and fluffy. And his eyes, which reminds me, his eyes are a lovely shade of teal green that-ARGH!'
"STOP THINKING ABOUT HIM!" Bel yelled angrily at himself, upset that he cant get the frog out of his head.
"Bel-chan is something wrong?" the gaylord called from hallway, just happened to pass by Bel's room and heard his sudden outburst.
"Nothing gaylord, dont bother the prince!" Bel shouted back.
"Whatever, its your loss if you dont want to talk about your problem with someone, Bel-chan."
"...Okay fine, come in." Bel said relunctantly and Lussuria opened the door and stepped inside.
"Ohohohoho!" giggled Lussuria, making Bel immediately regretting inviting the Varia's 'Mama' in.
"So, what is the problem Bel-honey?" the gaylord asked in a motherly tone, and Bel winced abit before sighing.
"Well, lately, I have been thinking much about fro-I mean this person, about most what he does. About how fr-this person stares at me, how he talks mono-uhm ahem unusually, how he gives a blank-I mean cute expression and-"
"Ohohohohohohoho! May I ask who this particular person might be?" smiled the gaylord, not the freaky gayish smile but a kind and warm one. Lussuria actually had a pretty good idea of who Bel was talking about but he wanted to confirm his thoughts.
"Ermm..uhh.." Bel blushed slightly and bit his lip.
"Fine I wont ask. Oh so you cant stop thinking about this particular person right? And now you need some love advice right?" Lussuria said, as an idea hit him on the head and a smile crept onto his lips.
Bel blushed a little deeper now and he nodded.
"Ohohohohohoho! I think I just got the right thing for you..."
"What the hell? A love advice column?" Bel said raising an unseen eyebrow at the webpage Lussuria showed him.
"Yeah its kinda popular around the Vongola webpage now, seeing that alot of Vongola people are asking for love advice from the Love Doctor." smirked the gaylord. "Just tell your problem to the Love Doctor and he give you, hopefully, nice feedback."
"Hopefully?"
"Yeah, I just happened to know who the Love Doctor is, and I must say, hes a little straight to the point and usually dont bother sugar-coating his words," Lussuria sighed as remembered how Fran always commented sarcastically about how his red mohawk make him look like a chicken.
"Anyway, just tell your problem to the Love Doctor! You wont know what will happen until you try!" the gaylord said.
"...sigh..Haihai."
15 minutes later, Bel sent the letter to the Love Doctor and then closed his eyes, waiting for the Love Doctor to reply.
A/N: Bel is so OOC here T_T Gomen ne! :O
Anyway, thankyou for reading and please review! :D