A/N: This story was inspired by the appearance of Zoe McLellan on the two pilot episodes of NCIS New Orleans. I thought that TPTB had missed an opportunity to have her reprise her character as former Legalman One Jennifer Coates now out of the Navy. TPTB no doubt had their reasons for not going that route, so I decided that if they weren't going to go there, I would. I have taken a couple of liberties with the time line. For example, if anyone cares to do the maths they'll figure out that I've added a couple of years to Mattie's age; it was deliberately done, and is not a mistake on my part.
The title is a reference to an old saying that 'you can't cross the same river twice'.
Crossing the Same River
Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs strolled into the NCIS bull-pen at his customary 0748 hours, "'Morning," he grunted to all and sundry, as he made his way towards his desk. But he stopped as the big, wall mounted LCD screen caught his eye as his ears caught the confused chorus of "Morning, boss" from the five agents on his team.
"Captain Harmon Rabb," he read the details on the super-sized Navy ID that occupied the bottom left hand corner of the screen, focussing his eyes on the photograph above it. "I remember him, he used to be stationed at Falls Church before JAG HQ moved back to the Navy Yard. He's a person of interest, probie?" he asked the agent holding the clicker.
"Yes boss, it's just been announced in 'Navy Times' that he's taking up a new appointment as Chief of Staff to Admiral Longstreet. So I figured we needed to get the low down on him. Sort of 'know your enemy'."
Gibbs eyed his junior agent severely. He was familiar with his newest agent's background and not only that, he thought he remembered the probationer from an investigation he had carried out nearly nine years ago and was pretty sure that his team's newest acquisition knew Captain Rabb. But he didn't feel like making a fuss over the issue so he let the excuse slide. "I know there's a fund of stories about how NCIS and JAG didn't used to get on, and that there was a lot of friction between the two agencies. But that was back in the day, and a lot of that friction was generated by personal antipathy between certain individuals. Those cases are ancient history, and we now have a good working relationship with the Navy JAG Corps!"
"Yes, boss, but if I remember the stories correctly, wasn't he one of the personalities involved in the friction?"
Jethro Gibbs considered the question carefully as he sought to remember that period. Nearly nine years ago now. He had been one of the other 'personalities' involved and he still felt aggrieved over one particular case. He had been under immense pressure to close, and close quickly, the attempted murder of another JAG officer, a Lieutenant Singer, and as a result he had rushed his investigation and arrested Rabb. In retrospect it was obvious that he had become target fixated, once he had made Rabb his suspect he hadn't even looked at any other possible suspects, and he admitted, but only to himself that he had then interpreted the evidence to support his theory instead of studying it objectively. He had, in short, wronged Rabb, and like many people, grew to dislike the person he had wronged. It made it easier for him to forgive himself that way. And of course he had never apologised to the naval officer; according to Gibbs' creed saying sorry was an admission of weakness. At length he nodded. "Yeah, Captain Rabb wasn't NCIS's greatest fan, but we did mishandle a couple of investigations that ended up focussed on him and both times he ended up being arrested for murder or attempted murder he wasn't guilty of, and on the second arrest it got as far as a court-martial and he came damn' near being sent to Leavenworth for life, so maybe he thought he had reason for his attitude. But that's all behind us now, so clear the screen and let's get down to today's business. Hood, have you finished that report on the Pickett case?"
"Yes, boss, coming right up!" Agent Samuel Hood, a tall, broad-shouldered former linebacker for North Carolina State and more recently a USMC Sergeant Intelligence Specialist, stood up from behind his desk and walked across to Gibbs' desk sliding a bulky folder across to his team leader.
"And?" Gibbs asked.
"Pickett has been charged with espionage, and his court-martial will proceed in due course. Presently he's in pre-trial confinement in the brig as a flight risk."
Gibbs nodded in satisfaction, "Good work, Hood! Anything else ready for me to sign off? No, well let's get to work people, and get some of these cases cleared up before we get landed with a new one! "
The chorus of "Yes, boss" was music to his ears and Gibbs allowed himself a small smile of satisfaction as he booted up his computer, ready for the day's work, even as he wondered what really lay behind the latest probie's interest in the new JAG Chief of Staff.
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Captain Harmon Rabb sat back in his padded, leather, swivel-chair and contemplated his office. It had taken him a good twelve hours, spread out over the evenings of a working week to get it squared away the way he wanted. His helmet with the call-sign 'Hammer' stencilled across the front sat on top of one bookshelf, while on the other his models of an F-14D 'Tomcat' fighter and a Boeing-Stearman NS2 'Yellow Peril' biplane trainer faced each other, his diploma from law school and his framed bar certificates hung above one bookcase and his portrait of Admiral Frank Jack Fletcher frowned at them from the opposite wall. His familiar law books, in neatly arranged rows, lined those same bookcases. His office didn't rate a fireplace, but in addition to the pair of wing chairs in front of his cherry wood desk, a further pair flanked the coffee table off to one side, and a pair of photographs in silver Celtic knot work frames stood to one side of his desk.
He couldn't resist a grin, his office here as Chief of Staff to the JAG was far grander than either of the offices he had occupied as FJAG NAVFOREUR, first in London, and then for his second tour in Naples.
Shaking his head at his wool-gathering he reached for the file on top of the imposing stack in his in-tray and then at the last second changed his mind, and used a long index finger to stab the call button on his desk-top interphone, "Yeoman?"
"Yes, sir?" the young woman's voice came clearly to his ears. Technology he reflected had come a long way since Tiner's voice had been rendered tinny by the intercom system that Admiral Chegwidden had on his desk back in the days when JAG HQ was at Falls Church.
"Yeoman, do you think you could rustle me up a mug of coffee, please?"
"On its way, sir!" The cheerful rang confidently in his ear, and unseen by his new assistant, Harm could indulge in a smile. He had only known the young Yeoman Second Class for a week, but already he had discovered that she was cheerful, knowledgeable, competent, efficient and according to the handover from his predecessor, her sense of discretion was way beyond reproach, all qualities he considered to be vital for a senior officer's yeoman.
The coffee, which arrived with commendable speed, was eminently drinkable and Harm felt the effect as soon as he took his first sip. With a smile of satisfaction, he placed the mug on a coaster – he had no wish to see the perfectly polished finish of his desk marred by a coffee ring – and turned his attention back to the file on personnel matters he had started to read while he waited for his coffee.
He was not, however to be granted a lengthy period of peace to study the file, and he had barely begun to make pencilled-in marginal notes when the inter-phone buzzed gently.
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The probationary NCIS agent licked her lips, which had suddenly become dry. She had signed in at the USMC manned PCP on the ground floor and had, as per standing orders, surrendered her firearm to the custody of the grim-faced Staff Sergeant on duty, who had duly locked it into a wall mounted secure box and handed her the key. There had been a slight clash of wills over the question of him announcing her visit, but she had finally impressed upon him that she needed to arrive at her destination without her target being given the opportunity to evade her.
Unhappy at having to bow to NCIS, Staff Sergeant Joe Johnston figured he had regained a measure of control over the situation as against the NCIS agent's protests that she could find her own way, he insisted that she have a Marine escort.
Corporal Santiago proved to be a taciturn Latino who apart from a muttered, "This way, please, ma'am," remained silent for the duration of the elevator ride to the fifth floor and the walk along the seemingly endless hallway.
At least reaching a half glass door emblazoned "Capt H D Rabb, USN, CoS", Santiago muttered again, "By your leave, ma'am" and executing a perfect heel-and-toe about-face retreated, leaving the increasingly nervous, despite her bravado, NCIS agent alone.
The double rap of her knuckles on the door frame was answered with a cheerful "Come in!"
The office seemed nearly as big as the NCIS bull pen, and shaking her head slightly at this evidence of how the other half lived, the agent crossed to the desk and smiled in greeting at the young, and pretty, she noted, Yeoman. She produced her badge and credentials and mumbling slightly introduced herself, finishing with, "I need to see Captain Rabb, if he can fit me in."
"One moment, please, ma'am." Diane Letterwood reached out and keyed the interphone's call button, "Sir?"
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Harm frowned and with an impatient sigh he replied "Yes?"
"Sir, there's an NCIS Agent to see you, an Agent Coors…"
"Very well, send him in!"
The door opened and Harm stood to greet his visitor, but not he realised a male agent as he had automatically assumed, but a youngish woman smartly and stylishly dressed in a dark blue single breasted pants suit with a pale blue open-necked shirt worn beneath the jacket, a young woman who, despite her changed appearance – her pixie cut was a far cry from the luxuriant long tresses he remembered – he instantly recognised.
"Jen!" he cried in surprised pleasure, "Jennifer Coates!"
Jen stopped a couple of feet from him, "Hello Harm," she said shyly.
"Hello yourself…" he beamed, "But what… how… why didn't I… why didn't you or Mattie tell me…?" he stammered, his words tripping over themselves as he tried to construct a coherent sentence.
"First things first," Jen smiled, her heart bounding at the pleasure Harm had evinced at her visit, "Permission to hug the Captain?"
"Hell, Jen, you don't ever have to ask for that!" Harm grinned, as he opened his arms to her.
Jennifer stepped forward her arms going around as much of Harm's torso as she could reach, her face buried in his shoulder while she contentedly breathed in his clean and fresh masculine smell that she remembered from the t-shirts he had acquired from him, but that sadly over the years had either worn out or his scent had long since dissipated. In his turn Harm buried his face in her hair, inhaling the fresh floral scent of her shampoo.
For long moments they remained in each other's' arms, silently taking joy in their reunion, until Harm felt his body respond to the nearness of a beautiful woman after a long drought. Breaking the hug before, or so he hoped, that Jennifer had noticed his reaction he stepped back slightly maintaining a hold on her hands, "Just a moment, please."
He stepped to the door and stuck his head out into his Yeoman's office, "Yeoman Two, a fresh carafe of coffee, please, with two mugs, creamer and sweetener, and after you've delivered it, hold all calls, unless it's the Jag and tell any and all visitors, except the Jag that I am not available until further notice!"
Harm turned back to Jen and quite unconsciously placed his hand in the small of her back and guided her over to the pair of wing chairs that flanked the coffee table. He might not have been aware of what he was doing, but almost every square inch of Jen's skin tingled from the warm, light and very much appreciated pressure of his hand.
"So… an NCIS Agent?" he asked in confirmation as he guided her to one of the chairs and then waiting for her to sit, he followed suit.
"Yeah," Jen grinned. "It seemed like a worthwhile career after I quit the Navy and finished college."
Harm nodded, "I know you finished your hitch and didn't re-up, Mattie kept me clued in on that, but I thought you'd gone to work for the Admiral and were attending college at the same time?"
"I did both… I went to work for A J as his para-legal and he gave me time off work to attend college… He was very good to me, and it seemed like he had gone back to the way he was when I first joined JAG. But it was still pretty tough, long hours of study on top of the job, but I couldn't have gotten through college without that job and his help."
"You still in touch with the old ba… the Admiral?" Harm asked.
Jen smiled, "Yeah, he's got a law practice up at McLean and I drop by every once in while if I'm in the neighbourhood."
Harm shook his head, "A J Chegwidden, Esquire, Attorney at Law… I don't know, it's difficult to see him as a country attorney."
"He's enjoying it, Harm, it's low pressure and I think that has helped with his attitude readjustment. Face it, he did over two full four year tours as JAG, and I wouldn't mind betting that at the end there, the pressure got to him."
"Pressure?" Harm's eyebrows rose, "Jen, the man was a Seal!"
"Different kinds of pressure, Harm. I was closer to him in many ways than any of the officers at JAG and he occasionally let slip unguarded comments. I know that he knew he had made some mistakes, big mistakes, in his last year or so, that's partly the reason he retired when he did."
Harm nodded, knowing full well that Jen was obliquely alluding to the treatment A J had meted out to him over the Paraguay incident, and he was forced to bite back a bitter comment. The way the Admiral had at that time dismissed his entire career as a joy-rode, a thrill seeker's paradise still rankled, although the hurt he had felt had, if not entirely dissipated, at least lessened, so he was content now to let the matter lie, instead he turned the conversation back to its original course, "But what about you, Jen, why did you leave the Navy?"
"Well, you know I never intended to make a career out of the Navy, in fact, if you recall I wasn't given much choice over enlisting, so when my hitch finished I left without too many regrets." She shrugged slightly, "It wasn't the same at JAG once you and the Colonel had left. As people rotated out General Cresswell started filling billets with Marines instead of sailors, I guess he felt more comfortable that way. He replaced me with a Sergeant and moved me out into the bull pen, said I needed to concentrate more on the legal side of my duties instead of being misemployed as a Yeoman, a bit dumb of me maybe, but it felt like an undeserved demotion and well…. Anyway, A J had just started his legal practice and he heard through the legal network that I was looking for work as a para-legal, so he offered me the job. I was a bit wary at first, we had banged heads a time or two when I was his Yeoman, but I soon found that A J Chegwidden, Esquire was a version two point oh of Admiral Chegwidden. I enjoyed working for him, and I think he liked having me around, but the kind of work he was doing was pretty humdrum, and he could see it wasn't enough of a challenge for me, so he advised to look for something different. So I took his advice and I ended up at NCIS."
Jen hesitated a fraction, despite what she had said to Gibbs a few weeks ago, she was fully aware of the mishandled investigation that saw Harm facing murder charges, "And… I've been lucky. I've been handed a great opportunity, I've been assigned to one of three Major Case Response Teams, it's a great team, with a high arrest and conviction rate, they work pretty closely with JAG these days. I guess now that JAG has moved back to the Navy Yard it makes co-operation that much easier. There's six of us on the team, Tim McGee – he's a sweet guy, a real computer whizz, Tony DiNozzo, he's a bit of a player, but there's a rule about not dating fellow employees, so apart from the odd comment, he's pretty harmless, and there's El Bishop, she's the team's puzzle solver, brilliant but quirky - she likes to sit on the floor and spread the puzzle all around her when she's trying to decipher a problem, and then there's Sam Hood, another newish agent, a former Marine. He's quite a guy, and the team leader is…" Jen took a breath, uncertain as to how this part of her revelation was going to go down with Harm. She needn't have worried.
"Leroy Jethro Gibbs," Harm finished for her, a grin on his face. He had recognised Jen's nervousness as soon as she had started rambling, and he had known who her team leader was as soon as she had mentioned DiNozzo's name. "It's alright Jen, it was a long time ago, and okay, so maybe I haven't gotten over it yet, but that shouldn't affect you and your career. But how come you got such a great assignment so quickly?"
Jen blushed faintly, "Well, it seems like they figured that they could use my legal training… Gibbs' team has a rep for taking short-cuts and a time or two it's cost them the case, and come near to doing that a few more times, and then when they found out my degree was in psychology… well… my name's gone forward for the next FBI profiling course at Quantico… So, despite my inexperience they must figure I'm an asset."
"And you are Jen, and you will be to any team lucky enough to have you on board, and as you were at JAG!"
They both fell silent as a tap on the door announced the arrival of Harm's Yeoman with the tray of coffee, cookies, and the all the necessary fixings.
Harm took the coffee pot and poised it over one of the cups, "Letterwood makes a decent pot of coffee, and she's gradually coming around to brew it the way I like… so… are you still taking creamer and sugar?"
"Just the creamer, please, I've given up on the sugar. It goes straight to my butt and thighs!"
"You look in pretty good shape to me," Harm demurred, "There are some sweeteners here, if you'd prefer?"
"No thanks, they leave a bitter after taste," Jen shrugged, "So I've learned to like my coffee with just the creamer."
"Now, if you could only learn to like it straight and appreciate the natural taste, but not just of coffee but…" Harm ginned again, deliberately leaving the end of his sentence hanging in mid-air.
"Oh no! I know exactly what you're trying to do!" Jen laughed, "No, I have not gone veggie. I still eat some meat, but I do still eat more veggie dishes than I used to before I met you and you corrupted me! My hat's off to Mattie for being strong enough to stand up against your diktats!"
"Yeah, Mattie…" This time's Harm's grin edged on the rueful, "She's gotta be counted as one of my failures – at least in the healthy eating wars!"
"No such thing!" Jen objected, "You turned a rebellious, mouthy teenager into the perfect appointee to the academy. Look at the facts: she graduated fourth in her class, magna cum laude, with a degree in aeronautical engineering, and now she's qualified as a pilot on the F/A-18F assigned to the Cougars and based at North Island, where you know that your Mom, Bud and Harriet are going to keep an eye on her!"
"Yes, I knew that of course, and I am pleased for her. The Cougars are good bunch. They're not the Raptors, of course, but still a good bunch. And don't get me wrong, I am so proud of what she's accomplished, that when I think of her, my heart feels like it's going to burst out of my chest." Harm twisted slightly in his chair and with a nod indicated his desk, "See those two picture frames? They're both shots of Mattie. One is her graduation photo and the other is of her just after her Winging Ceremony."
Jen nodded, she had expected no less, "She was bitterly disappointed when you couldn't get back for her graduation ceremony," she said with a note of sympathy in her voice.
"Not as much as I was," Harm said sorrowfully, "But there was just so much happening in the Middle East at the time, and of course it spilled out into the African Moslem countries so the whole question of taking leave at that time was a complete non-starter."
"Oh, Mattie knows that, but she was still disappointed. I mean I went, of course, as did Bud and Harriet Roberts, so she wasn't entirely unsupported, but it wasn't the same."
"Yes, I knew about that, and no it wouldn't have been the same, and I am grateful to all three of you for going."
"It was the least we could do, Harm. We all owe you so much, and it was such a little thing…"
"Not to Mattie and not to me!" Harm interrupted.
"H'mm, but you couldn't make it back for her winging ceremony either?" Jen said, and for the first time there was just a hint of accusation in her voice.
"No… it was during a particularly busy time again. I did apply for leave but both the JAG and COMNAVFOREUR turned me down, they were sympathetic but they were adamant that leave was out of the question." Harm shrugged, "I was just as disappointed, and pointed out that I had missed her academy graduation too, but there was no shifting them. Part of the price we pay… But you and the Roberts made it down to Pensacola for her, so she wasn't completely abandoned again, was she?"
"Actually there were four of us who went to support Mattie."
"Four?" Harm queried, "But there was yourself, Bud and Harriet. Who else? Don't tell me Mom made that journey!"
"Well, Lieutenant Commander Hawkes was in town, and she got hold of Bud and Harriet to find out where you were, and so when she learned about Mattie graduating flight school and you not being there, she pulled some strings and got a ride in a ferry job down to Pensacola…"
"Good for you, Skates!" Harm enthused, a smile of pleasure lighting up his face. He had always counted his former RIO as a friend and to hear that she had in some small way tried to stand in for him at his adopted daughter's winging ceremony gave him a very good feeling. "I'm going to have to check her assignment and write her a thank you, even if it is a bit late!"
"Oh, no need for that, Harm," Jen assured him, "Commander Hawkes is now the senior Navigator and XO of the Cougars at North Island."
"And you know this, how exactly?" Harm frowned.
Jen just chuckled, "I'm NCIS now, remember? And I still have one or two active duty contacts in the Navy. A Lieutenant Jason Tiner for example, who also works out of JSLO San Diego, and whom I believe is keeping an eye on Mattie. So with your Mom and Step Dad at La Jolla, Bud and Harriet and Jason and his wife and Commander Hawkes, Mattie is being well, if quietly, looked after."
"Jason Tiner's married?" Harm queried.
"Yes, he married another JAG Lieutenant, apparently he went through Georgetown Law with her, and they were dating all the time they were in DC."
"Ah, that explains why you and he…"
"What? Me and Jason? Would never have happened. He was a good friend that's all. We went out a couple of times and we enjoyed each other's company, but there was never any spark between us…"
"And what about you, Jen? Isn't there someone waiting for you back home?"
Jen grinned and shook her head, "No, there's no-one at the moment. I never did find but the one guy, and he just didn't seem to see me. But there's a ray of hope peeping out through the clouds now, so maybe, just maybe."
"Well, don't do what Mac and I did, Jen," Harm answered with a hint of bitterness. "We danced around each other for so long that not only did we get sick of the dance, but we got sick of each other too."
It was on the tip of Jen's tongue to ask what precisely had gone wrong between Harm and Mac, but she resisted the temptation. They had seemed well on their way to finding happiness with each other, and then General Cresswell had dropped the bombshell of their postings on them, they were to be six thousand miles apart. Jen recalled how she had commented that they had found it difficult to talk with each other when their offices were only twenty feet apart. With six thousand miles between them, she had said, they had no chance. And so it apparently had proved.
Harm kept an eye on her usually expressive face but it seemed that the intervening years had given Jen some measure of control over allowing her thoughts and feelings to be obvious, and at last he prompted her, "Jen?"
"Oh… I was just thinking back to the day when the General gave you your PCS orders…" Jen tailed off in slight confusion.
Harm nodded, "Yeah, he certainly dropped those on us, right out of the blue." He too fell silent for a few long moments while Jen sat patiently waiting. She figured that Harm was working through some personal issues and past experience had taught her that when he did, he chose his words very carefully before speaking.
At last Harm gave a sigh, "I don't suppose your active duty contacts gave you any hint of what happened to Mac?"
Jen felt her heart sink, Harm had only been back in the country five minutes and already he was asking about Mac. But, "Yeah, she finished her twenty, and then butted up against the 'up or out regs' so when she finished her time in zone with no promotion and no recommendation, she retired. The last I heard she passed the California State Bar, and got a job as ADA. A pretty zealous one too. Now I hear she's running for the DA's post."
Harm heard the note of condemnation in Jen's voice as she mentioned Mac's approach to her work. He wasn't surprised at the characterisation, he had always had a feeling that Mac could be, and in fact had been at times, vindictive in her prosecutions. Still, "She never married?"
Jen's heart sunk even further. "No, she told Harriet that as she couldn't have kids, there was no point. She seems to have sunk all her energy into her new career."
"Poor Mac," Harm shook his head in sorrow for his former friend and partner, "Well, I wish her luck, and I wish that she could find some happiness. I did think for a time that we might… but maybe it was just as well."
"You never married either, did you, Harm?" Jen asked gently, her spirits recovering slightly at Harm's answer, but knowing full well, thanks to her unauthorised checking of his SRB that he hadn't.
Harm shook his head ruefully, "No, it seems that I have impossibly high standards and although there were a couple of women who would have married me, I just wasn't capable of loving them that way. And the one other woman I sort of proposed to took off like a scalded cat, said I was too damaged and too big a risk for her to take on!"
"Who was that? Just who was that dumb?"
"Oh she wasn't dumb, Jen, not by a long shot. No, Catherine Gale was one of the smartest women I ever met. Her turning me down is just further proof of that! At the time I'd just been canned from the CIA, and hadn't yet started working for Mattie. I was at a pretty low point and was just clutching at straws and Catherine was smart enough to recognise that!"
"Oh, yes, I remember her. She was blonde, the CIA attorney who faced off with you on that case about the missing submarine…"
"Yeah, blondes… I didn't have much luck with blondes… Meg, Jordan, Renée, Catherine… Mind you," he added with a grin, "I never had much luck with brunettes either!"
"You never know, your luck might just change, you're still quite a catch, you know. Now you're a dignified Captain instead of a harum scarum investigative attorney, as soon as word gets out, I reckon you'll have all the match-making Moms in DC besieging you for their overweight spotty daughters!" Jen laughed.
Harm shuddered theatrically, "In which case, I'll call on you to protect me!" he laughed.
"Just call and I'll come a-running!" Jen agreed laughingly but then sobered up quickly as she looked at her watch, "And talking of running, I'd best get going. I've kept you from your work long enough, and now I think I'm going to have to find a reasonable sounding lie for Gibbs to explain why I've been gone so long!"
Harm stood as Jen too got to her feet, "It was great to see you again, Jen, even if it was a bit of a surprise. I'm going to have to have a talk with Mattie about not keeping me in the loop!
"No, don't do that!" Jen chuckled, "It was all my doing, I swore her to secrecy, and threatened her with the sisterhood's vengeance if she told you what I was doing!"
"Okay, then, she's off the hook. But you aren't! You still owe me a lot of explaining!"
"I do!" Jen's hand dived into the inside pocket of her jacket, "Here's my card with all my contact details. Call me if you want to."
"Oh, I want to!" Harm assured her.
Jen's deep brown eyes searched his face, and then without warning she rose on her toes and captured his face with both hands, planting her lips firmly on his. Harm gasped in shock and Jen took advantage of that to slip her tongue along his lips.
Galvanised into action at last, Harm broke free and stared at his visitor, "Jen…"
"Hush," she replied softly. "You've got my card, and if you still want to call me after that, then you know where to find me. You know that guy I mentioned that never seemed to see me, well, that was you. And I've wanted to do that for years, and the only thing that stopped me was the knowledge that the Navy would have thrown me in the brig, and more importantly it would have ruined your career. That doesn't apply now, and I warn you, that if I get a chance, I'll do it again. You think that over Harmon Rabb, and if, when you have thought it over, and you still want to, then you call me and we'll arrange a date. Until then…" she reached up again and kissed him again, lightly this time. Then with a smile she left the shocked Navy captain standing in the middle of his office and slipped through the door.
She smiled at the Yeoman seated at her desk. "I've left the Captain to think over something, so you might want to give him ten minutes before you clear the coffee tray?" she suggested.
"Yes, ma'am!" Diane Letterwood replied.
Inside the office a still stunned Harmon Rabb gently touched his lips, where he could still feel the pressure of Jen's kiss and the feeling of her tongue lightly probing.
"Jen?" he said wonderingly, "Jen?" he repeated and for a third time, but now with a dawning smile on his face, "Jen?"
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Jen's eruption into Harm's life had a delaying effect on some of his plans. He immediately shelved his apartment hunting and stayed put at the Senior Officers' VOQ at Andrews Joint Base. It wasn't as comfortable as his own apartment would have been, but it was certainly a giant step up from the VOQs he had experienced as a junior officer. His decision to delay taking any steps at all was occasioned by the need to think through the extraordinary, to him, events that had taken place in his office. He had always know that Jennifer Coates was an attractive woman – no, make that a beautiful woman – and the way she had turned her life around after he had first met her and the time she had spent sharing the apartment with Mattie had brought her other qualities to his notice. It wasn't just a question of her physical beauty, she had brains – her degree was proof of that – she had guts, determination and integrity, she was loyalty personified, and had a terrific sense of humour, – he had personal experience of that – she was caring and nurturing – the way she had stepped up to the plate with Mattie and had done so much more than he'd ever asked her was proof of that. She was trustworthy, hard-working and she wasn't averse to taking a risk – her actions in his office had proved that!
All this was well and good, and Harm was honest enough with himself to admit that he had in some measure always been attracted to her. But as Jen had pointed out, the fraternisation regulations strictly forbade any sort of romantic liaison – amongst others – between commissioned and enlisted naval personnel, so he had kept those thoughts and feelings securely locked away deep in his innermost being. But now, and again as Jen had said, there were no regulations in their way. But Harm still had to analyse his feelings, and do it ruthlessly. He had to decide if his feelings for Jen were enough that they might, if he allowed them to, deepen into something profound.
At the end of ten days he still wasn't sure, but apart from wanting to see Jen again, it was unkind not to call her. And he definitely did not want to be unkind. That evening, he sat in the single armchair in his room, fished her card out from the depths of his wallet and picked up his cell-phone. He did not want Jen's cell phone number being recorded by the base automatic exchange. He listened for the ring tone, but even now half-hoping that she wouldn't answer, but on the fourth ring she picked up.
"Coates," was all she said.
"Jen, it's Capt… uh… Harm…"
Jen's "Oh… Thank God!" was almost a sob.
"Jen?" Harm asked worriedly.
"It's… It's okay, Harm, I was just getting a bit worried that you were never going to talk to me again!" Jen said by now half-laughing with relief.
"Jen even if that were the case, and it's not, not by a long shot, I wouldn't just cut you out of my life without a word. I'm not that much of an asshole."
"No, of course you're not," Jen agreed, "I guess I was just getting a little paranoid."
"And whoever said that a little paranoia wasn't a good thing?" Harm asked and Jen could hear the grin in his voice.
"Um… John Stuart Mill?" Jen suggested lightly, her normal cheerfulness reasserting itself...
"Nope, not that I've ever heard of!" Harm replied, and then his voice took on a low, serious tone, "Jen, I have been thinking about what you said in my office all those days ago, and what you did. I was surprised, I never thought you felt like that about me, and so I've had to do some serious thinking, which is why it's taken me so long to get back to you. But before we go any further along any path, we need to have a serious discussion, face to face. Can we arrange to meet somewhere, where it's quiet enough to talk and be private?"
Jen's heart gave a little lurch as her perhaps over-optimistic ears detected a hint that Harm felt the same way about her as she did about him. "Okay, that sounds like a plan. Our team isn't on call, or on stand-by this weekend, so why don't you just come to my place tomorrow evening, and I'll cook you dinner. I think I can remember how to make meatless meatloaf," Jen chuckled, "Or perhaps chicken Alfredo?"
Harm indulged himself in another grin, "Your version of my meatless meatloaf? I think I'd rather go with the chicken Alfredo. But Jen, are you sure this is a good idea… I mean the location… wouldn't it be better if we met somewhere a little more… well… public?"
"Harm!" Jen's voice was tinged with impatience. "Have you ever tried to have a personal conversation in a restaurant? Every time you pluck up the nerve to say something important the server appears, as if summoned by magic! If it's not to clear away the plates from your last course, it's to ask whether everything is alright, or did you want to order anything from the cellar, and you never get around to saying half of what you want! No, if we want to talk, then privacy is best, and as I can't see the Navy getting with the idea of you having an unchaperoned female in your quarters, then the simplest, most logical alternative is for you to come to my place!"
"Um… yeah… But tell me something, Jennifer Coates, were you always so pushy and determined when you were in the Navy?"
"Damn straight I was!" Jen laughed, "But I had to play it cool because of the UCMJ!"
Harm was forced to join in Jen's laughter and it felt good. It gave him a warm, comforting feeling in the pit of his stomach. "Okay, you win, I'll come to your place, where and when?"
"If you can make it for nineteen thirty hours, that'll be fine, and the address… well, you know the address, it's the loft off Fourth Street NE; actually it's your old apartment…" Jen waited with bated breath for Harm's reaction. She was not disappointed.
"Jen! What are you thinking! That's no neighbourhood for a single female to be living in!"
"It's nowhere near as bad as it was when we all lived there," Jen pointed out in reasonable tones, "There's been a fair amount of gentrification, there's even a bistro and a respectable bar with tables set out on the sidewalk where the old Chinese take-out and Verdi's pizza parlour used to be… And there's even an Ethiopian vegetarian restaurant and a raw juice bar on H and Fourth!"
Harm blinked. It certainly did sound as if the old neighbourhood had undergone a large-scale makeover, but he decided he would reserve final judgement until he'd seen for himself.
"Okay, I'll be there, nineteen thirty hours!"
"Fine, I'll see you then, take care!" Jen smiled.
"Me take care? You watch out for your own self, Jennifer Coates, I'm the one with a nice, safe, desk job these days!" Harm grinned.
"Yeah, right!" Jen scoffed.
xxxxx-xxxxx-xxxxx-xxxxx-xxxxx
Harm nodded appraisingly as he drove down the nine hundred block of Fourth Street NE. The old neighbourhood certainly had changed. The house fronts were neat and tidy and there was plenty of evidence of much fresh paint. The cars parked on both sides of the road were a giveaway too. The majority of them appeared to be under five years old and in good condition; as far as he could see, all the vehicle tags were in date, a far cry from the days of twelve year rust buckets with expired plates standing outside houses that hadn't seen a lick of paint in over a decade. The story continued in the same theme as he drove into the eight hundred block, the houses neat and graffiti free, the streets looking as if it had been recently swept and the few pedestrians about at this time of the evening all reasonably well dressed, but most marked difference of all was the absence of huddles of youths on the corners, suspiciously eying each car as it drove past.
Even the old, familiar alley, when he turned into it looked as if it had seen the services of a road cleaning crew. The weeds that used to grow along its edges had vanished and yes, the old warehouse looked as if the owner had finally been pressured into doing something about its appearance.
Pulling up to the old warehouse, Harm parked his beloved Corvette alongside a four year old Toyota Camry. Harm couldn't resist a smile, if it was Jen's it was a definite step up from the horrible old Escort she had driven for years. He recalled ruefully the more than one occasion when an infuriated but apologetic Jen had called him in the middle of the night to come and rescue her when the unreliable and ancient Ford had decided that it wasn't going to cooperate in getting her home.
The elevator ride up to the third floor bought back memories too, as it shuddered and groaned its way upwards. The landlord might have given the exterior of the building a face-lift, Harm thought, but evidently the elevator was still on his 'honey do' list – as it had been for as long as Harm could remember.
Unknown to Harm Jen was on tenterhooks, desperately trying to figure out what Harm was going to say, and what she as going to say and do if he told her that he wasn't interested, and that he couldn't see any point in trying to pursue a relationship that wasn't going to go anywhere. For that matter, neither was Jen. She could count on the fingers of one hand just how many dates she had been on since leaving the Navy, and still have enough left over to hold a slice of pizza. Sure, Harm had sounded positive over the phone, but she had spent the last twenty four hours second-guessing herself. Her distraction had been such that even Tony DiNozzo, usually self-centred to the exclusion of all else, had noticed, and had given her a friendly warning to get her head out of the clouds and buckle down before Gibbs noticed she had spent most of the morning wool-gathering.
Jen had flashed him a grateful smile and re-applied herself to her case files with renewed energy and as she packed up at the end of the day, she breathed a sigh of relief. It seemed that DiNozzo's advice had come in time to save her six. Or so she had thought until she'd slipped her jacket on and hung her purse over her shoulder as she prepared to leave the office, "Good night, boss!" she had called out cheerfully as she an El Bishop made their way towards the elevator.
"Good night Bishop," Gibbs replied without looking up from his computer screen, "And Coates, this guy you've been mooning about all day had better be worth it!" he added dryly.
Jen shot a look of alarm at Bishop who was doing her best not to burst into laughter, and turned crimson, "He is boss, he is!" she assured.
"Good, so get it out of your system over the weekend, and when you come in on Monday, I expect you to have your head back in the game!"
"Yes, boss!" Jen gasped in a suffocated voice and fled towards the elevator.
Now she debated whether she had time to go for a… but no, she hadn't a sharp double rap on the door brought her, gulping to a halt. Smoothing her hands down the legs of her sacks, she walked toward the door and opened,
"Hello, Harm," she said, smiling shyly and then standing on tip toe kissed him softly on the cheek. "Come on in," she invited him, standing to one side so he could get through the door.
"Hello, Jen," Harm answered a happy smile on his face as he proffered the bottle of Italian Pinot Grigio white wine he had brought, "This should go down well with the chicken. It could do with a quick refresh in the fridge though, until you're ready to pour."
"Thank you," Jen smiled as she took the bottle, "It's the same type as I've already got chilling, so our palates won't be in for too much of a culture shock mid-evening! Now go on through, I don't think you'll find the old place too different."
Harm turned towards the lounge area and his grin broadened. Jen had her own furniture of course, and the more modern couch behind the coffee table looked a damned sight more comfortable that the battered old leather couch that he had consigned to a local welfare store before he left for Europe. Yep, he had consigned it without even the slightest hesitation or feeling of remorse, and in retrospect he couldn't fathom out why he hadn't gotten rid of the damned thing years before. Other than the couch and the matching pair of armchairs. A desk and a swivel chair stood where his desk and chair had stood in the far corner of the room and up against the glass brick wall that divided the shower room from the living room and Harm suddenly felt his throat become dry at the thought of Jen showering, the admittedly blurred outline of her body visible to hi… to anyone in the lounge..
He was more than slightly relieved when Jen called out from behind, "Don't be shy! Sit down, before you make the place look untidy!"
"Oh, not being shy," Harm defended himself as he sank gratefully into one of the armchairs, "just checking out what you've done with the old place!"
"Not much, really," Jen confessed as she carried a tray with two glasses of wine on it into the lounge area. "I just bought the minimum furniture I needed, and slapped a fresh coat of paint on the walls. It does me for what I need. I'm only here in the evenings – well some of them when we're not out at all hours on a case – and at weekends, so I don't need much."
"Just a TV, huh?" Harm couldn't resist the dig as he nodded at the thirty-six inch flat screen TV mounted on the wall.
"Damn! Busted!" Jen grinned, "But I don't watch TV too much, I don't want my brain cells dying off any quicker than they have to. No, Tony DiNozzo is an annoying jerk at times…"
"Yeah, tell me about it!"! Harm gritted.
"But he is a pretty good judge of movies, so when he critiques a movie, I listen. And if the genre is one which I'll watch and his recommendation is good, then I rent it."
Harm pursed his lips judiciously while he considered Jen's words and then nodded in acknowledgement. DiNozzo was, in his opinion, a swollen headed asshole who considered himself to be entitled, and one whose non-stop stream of movie references Harm found intensely annoying. However, it was DiNozzo and the NCIS Goth technician that had come up with the evidence that proved he hadn't been Loren Singer's killer, so he was prepared to be a little more tolerant than would normally have been the case.
He took a sip of his wine sending a subtle signal that the previous conversation was over and turned to Jen, "So… apart from looking for something more interesting than working as the Admiral's para-legal, what made you pick on NCIS?"
"Well, it's a Federal Agency, so that means the six years I spent in the Navy count towards the agency pension, and then again it has a Navy connection, and I figured that as I was familiar with certain aspects of the Navy and of military law, it might just be a good fit. And it is!" she finished almost defiantly.
"Whoa! Easy tiger!" Harm smiled, "I'm not criticising, just curious."
"No, of course you're not," Jen smiled, "It's just that a few people have insinuated that I've lost my mind in going into law enforcement, and I tend to get a bit defensive."
"Some people?" Harm asked with a raised eyebrow.
"Well Harriet Roberts, for one. She keeps going on about the danger and how she doesn't like me carrying a weapon. But as I've told her, after nine eleven we can't be safe anywhere now. But she isn't the only one. A J was very supportive when I told him what I wanted to do, but I could see that he had reservations too."
"Well, to be honest, I have my doubts, but you have made the choice, and you have been through FLETC, so I'm sure you know the risks, so I will support you to the end… that is if you will allow me to."
"Oh, of course I will! I'm glad you told me that you have doubts, because I know they… Oh! That's the timer, telling me it's time to put the pasta to boil!"
Harm looked around, I don't see a table? Are we eating off our knees?"
"With cream cheese sauce on the menu, I don't think so!" Jen laughed. "No, we'll eat at the breakfast bar. It will be like old times!"
"In that case, is there anything I can do?"
"Well, you could come and keep me company… and maybe freshen our glasses?" Jen grinned cheekily.
"On it, ma'am!" Harm replied levering himself to his feet and following Jen back towards the kitchen area.
Harm settled himself onto one of the stools and watched appreciatively as Jen poured a pan fill of water, added salt and olive oil and set it to boil. As she did so it struck Harm that her new – to him – short hairstyle showed the lines of her slender neck to their best advantage but…
"Just one question, Jen. When and why did you have your hair cropped so short?"
"Well, you mentioned FLETC. I still wore it long when I started there, but then on our first unarmed combat class I wore it in a ponytail and the instructor grabbed hold of it, and had me down on the mat with tears in my eyes in under two seconds. I made the decision there and then that I would never again wear it long enough to be grabbed by an enemy."
"Good decision," Harm approved, "And what happened to the instructor?"
"Well once I'd cleared the tears from my eyes, we had another go, and then when he grabbed me, it was his turn to fall down with tears in his eyes."
"Jen, you didn't?" Harm asked incredulously
"Yeah I did. I didn't figure he'd be dumb enough not to wear a protective cup!" Jen giggled.
"Oh, Jen, Jen, Jen…" Harm sighed shaking his head as he tried, not too successfully, to restrain his own laughter.
"Well that's it!" Jen said decisively as she poured the pasta into a colander to drain for a minute or so, while she opened the oven door and pulled out the casserole dish. "Slow cooked chicken Alfredo," she beamed putting the casserole to one side and serving the pasta onto two plates that she had warming to one side of the cooker before she added the chicken and sauce.
Whether it was the company or the food Harm wasn't sure. The slow cooking meant that the chicken had retained its natural moisture and very nearly melted in his mouth, but if the food occupied his mouth, his eyes and ears were kept equally busy as he watched and listened to the beautiful woman sat opposite.
The conversation during the meal – the chicken Alfredo was followed by fresh fruit salad and natural, organic yoghurt – was kept deliberately light in attempt to keep the atmosphere relaxed, but as the meal progressed both Harm and Jen couldn't help but tense up slightly as they both anticipated the conversation that they both knew was coming. So when they adjourned to the lounge, Jen having piled the dirty dishes in the sink for her attention later, and Jen produced a fresh pot of coffee, they both sat silent, each waiting for the other to start speaking.
In the end it was Jen who broke the silence, "Harm, would you please, come and sit on the couch with me? I don't really want to shout across the width of the room," she finished with a try at lightening the atmosphere again.
Harm rose stiffly and crossed the five or six feet that separated armchair from couch and almost gingerly lowered himself into its squabs leaving almost a foot of space between the two of them.
Jen licked her suddenly dry lips, "Harm, I know you came here tonight to say something, so will you please say it?"
Harm nodded and carefully put his coffee mug down on a coaster. "You… uh… kind of took me by surprise last week, in my office…"
"Good!" Jen retorted, "Because that's exactly what I had planned to do!"
"Planned? It wasn't just spontaneous?"
"No, of course not! I had to screw myself up to do it, and I might tell you, Captain Rabb, that it took just about all the courage I had!"
"Courage?" Harm asked in some surprise, "Why, what did you think I would do?"
"Break my heart," Jen answered simply.
"I don't ever want to do that Jen, I… I think far too much of you to ever want to do that."
'And you still can't say it, can you?' Jen said silently to herself, 'Despite all the work that Mattie did on you to get you to open up, you still can't say it, but I think… I hope… I can see it in your eyes. Just what did MacKenzie do or say to you those last few days you spent in DC?'
"Jen?" Harm prompted her, worried by her silence as her eyes searched his face.
Jen gulped, she had to take the plunge, and this was going to have to be talked out, and that was a far scarier prospect than ambushing Harm with a kiss had been. "It's like this, Harm. I know you wouldn't want to hurt me, but the simple fact is that you have so much power to hurt me that it's scary… No! Please don't interrupt, this is difficult enough as it is! You see, way back in oh one, when you defended me, I developed a bit of a crush on you…" Jen paused to clear her throat even as he crimson flooded her cheeks, "But that would have been okay, and I probably would have gotten over it, if it hadn't been for Bud Roberts' injury. But when Colonel MacKenzie stayed aboard the Seahawk until that cruise was over, I worked with her as Legalman, and as you know, it was as a result of that I was posted to JAG HQ. It was a great career move for me, if I had made the Navy a career that is, but it brought me back into contact with you, and after the way you made sure I was okay in the Seahawk, even though you were – I was too – desperately worried about Bud, well it brought the old crush back, in full force. Then working with you day to day in the office I began to see that you weren't a knight in shining armour, but a real live person, with good and bad points, but in your case, it was obvious that your good points heavily outweighed your bad, and I began to fall in love with that person." Jen paused breath before she continued.
"When you took guardianship over Mattie, and she unlocked your heart a little, then I saw how much capacity for love you had… and… I was lost, the way you loved Mattie, the way you showed that love in so many different ways without actually saying… well, that tipped the scales. I fell completely head over heels in love with you. The day you left for that Tribunal with the Admiral, the Colonel and Commander Turner, you said to me that you didn't know what you'd do without me, that day was one of the happiest of my life. Of course, I knew it was hopeless, you were in love, or you thought you were – which amounts to the same thing – with Colonel MacKenzie. And of course you were an officer and I was a sailor. You see, I wouldn't have cared what the Navy did to me if we had crossed the line, but it would have meant the end of your career too, and I couldn't have you sacrificing all that you had earned, at such a cost, not for me. So I stayed quiet, and I never let you know how I felt. But all those months I lived next door with Mattie, well, it was the most at peace I had been since my Mom died.
"I kept in touch with Mattie all the time you and she were in London, and we sent each other regular e-mails, and she kept me up to date with all that you were doing. And then when she came back to go to the academy, we got even closer." Jen gave a self-conscious chuckle, "We really did become like sisters, we had no… well, very few secrets from each other…"
Harm had been listening, his mouth open in surprise and the tips of his ears burning, but Jen's last sentence seemed to snap him out of a stupor, "Does… does Mattie know how you think you feel?" he asked in appalled voice.
Jen shook her head, "Do you mean did I ever tell her? No, never. But I think she might have guessed. She's a bright kid… no make that she's a bright young woman! And as for thinking about the way I feel. Harm, I don't think – I know.
Harm gave himself a mild shake, "Well, you've certainly laid a lot on me, more than you did when you kissed me, and I have got to admit that yes, I have had certain… feelings about you, but you were a sailor, so I stowed them away and I battened down the hatches, and as you say, I thought I was in love with Mac. Well, I am over Mac now, and I am flattered that you… that you… that you hold me in such high regard…" Harm finished lamely.
"Still can't say it, huh, Harm? Well let me make it easy for you. Harmon Rabb I love you, and I am in love with you. This is not some silly teen-age crush. You know how old I am, or you have a pretty good idea. So I do know that my feelings are real. For God's sake Harm, why do you think I have stayed single and unattached all these years? I'm not exactly ugly! I was waiting for you!"
"No, you are not exactly ugly, Jennifer Coates, you are beautiful, probably the most beautiful woman I have ever laid eyes on…" Harm broke off and gave Jen a glare as she burst into a peal of laughter.
"Oh, Harm, you say the most ridiculous, unbelievable things! But, hey I gotta admit, I like them!" Jen chuckled as her laughter died away.
"Very funny!" Harm snorted indignantly. "I'm trying to be serious here, and you poke fun at me!"
"Of course I do, I always have!" Jen confessed, "It's just that most of the time you were too oblivious to notice it!"
Harm shook his head, "Stop trying to throw me off course!" he scolded her mildly, "I am trying to be serious!"
"Aye, aye, sir!" Jen replied her eyes dancing with mischief.
"Stop it!" Harm growled, but his eyes began to twinkle too, and he suddenly realised that all the tension that had been building up between them had dissipated in their – well, Jen's – laughter. "Did you just handle me?" he demanded suspiciously, "to try to get me to relax?"
"Damn straight!" Jen replied, "You were vibrating like a fiddle string when you sat down, and that psychology degree has got to be good for something other than profiling criminals!"
"You are incorrigible!" Harm said resignedly.
"Yeah, and I'm damn good at it too!" Jen said as she pushed herself up off the couch, "No, stay put," she told Harm as he automatically began to rise.
Jen wasn't gone more than a minute, returning to the lounge with a bottle of wine in one hand and two glasses, their stems held between the fingers of her other hand. She sat down, a good deal closer than before, Harm noticed, and poured two measures.
"I don't know about you, but all that talking has made me thirsty!" she said.
"Well, you have been doing a lot of talking," Harm pointed out, "So I guess you're entitled. Now me, I haven't said a lot, mostly because you keep interrupting!"
"I do not!" Jen protested.
"Yes you do. You've just done it again!" Harm replied.
Jen was about to object once again when she caught the gleam in Harm's eye and so instead, she clamped her lips shut and mimed the act of zipping them together.
Harm grinned at her actions and then schooled his face into a more serious expression, "Jen, as I said, I'm flattered, seriously flattered, that you feel that way towards me, and I am… I am… not totally indifferent to you… In fact, if there is any woman in the world with whom I think I could have a serious, long-term relationship then that woman is you." Harm paused to take a sip of his wine.
"And here's the thing Jen, the next relationship I enter into has got to be the real thing, dating, and eventually marriage, the house with the white picket fence – well maybe not the picket fence, two point four kids, a dog that rules us and a cat that rules the dog. The only thing is, even if I was to be presented with a daughter or son today, I would be seventy by the time he or she graduates from college, and I don't think it would be fair of me to ask any woman to take on that burden, especially one as young, beautiful and as vibrant as you!"
Jen looked at him in disbelief, "Bullshit!"
"Pardon me?" Harm asked in surprise.
"Yes, I know you're forty-eight, that's twelve, no thirteen years older than I am, so that, I remind you, makes me thirty-five. That's quite old enough for me to be sure of my feelings so yes, with you, I'm in it for the long haul: 'til death us do part. I really mean that Harm!" Jen said her heart in her eyes as she laid out her stall for Harm to see. "And another thing, yeah, I want a child, or even children. But I want them to be yours. If they can't be yours, then I'll just have to give up on the idea of ever having kids!"
"Jen! That's blackmail!"
"Is it working?" Jen asked with a sly grin.
"I… I don't know… Jen… I…"
"Harm." Jen interrupted him again.
"Jen?"
"Shut up!" she told him and leaning in captured his lips with hers, once more probing his mouth with her tongue. This time he opened to her and returned her kiss. The next ten minutes were silent broken only by intermittent gasps for air until Harm gave out a groan and tore himself free.
"Oh God, Jen, we've got to stop this, right now. If we don't stop now, I don't think I'll be able to!" Harm gasped.
"And who said I wanted you to stop?" Jen demanded, equally as breathless, as she captured his wrist in her hand and brought it up to her breast so that he could feel the hardness of its tip through her bra and shirt.
Jen surged to her feet, still holding Harm's hand in hers, "Come on!" she said impatiently as she tugged him to his feet and backed away towards the bedroom, towing him in her wake.
xxxxx-xxxxx-xxxxx-xxxxx-xxxxx
"Oh God, Jen, I'm sorry! It's just that it's been so long…"
Jen grinned in the darkness and snuggled her head into the hollow of Harm's shoulder, "Don't worry about it, it will be okay next time."
"There's going to be a next time?" Harm asked. He would have held his breath waiting for Jen's answer, but he didn't need to wait,
"Damn straight, there is! Or did you think I was going to let you off with a one night stand?"
"Um… no… when you put it like that, I guess not…"
"Good!"
"Uh… Jen… are you using contraception? I mean we let ourselves get carried away this time, and we should really take precautions in the future, but…"
"But what if I just got pregnant? Well, wasn't your advancing age one of the reasons you were so hesitant? So, if we want a family, then we'd best get it started before you become too decrepit!" Jen giggled.
Despite himself Harm grinned, thankful that the darkness hid it, "Be serious!" he scolded her, "When I said I wanted a family, I meant it in the most conservative – with a small 'c' – sense. I'd kinda like the wedding to come before the baptism…"
"So?" Jen asked, "Even supposing I did just get pregnant – and there won't be any tears from me if I did – that would still leave us nine months in which to get married, or were you planning on leaving it past that?"
"No! If you're sure you want to marry me, then I'd say let's get down to the court house on Monday and get the licence and get married next weekend, or do you want the big, grand, church affair?"
"No, I don't necessarily want a big, church wedding. I'd be happy with a five minute session in front of a justice of the peace. All I need for a successful wedding is you! But if we eloped, which is more or less what you suggested, your Mom would kill you and Mattie and Harriet would be tossing a coin to see who got first dibs on killing me!"
"M'mm, good point," Harm agreed, "So how long would it take you to put a wedding together?"
"If we did the catering ourselves, and allowing for time to get the invitations out, and the answers back, arranging the flowers… I figure I could get it together in say… six weeks?"
"Okay, so let's see, it's March twenty-fourth, so we'd be looking at mid-May?"
"M'mm…" Jen replied, her hand busy under the covers.
"Jen? Jen, what are you doing? Oh… Uh… it's not going to work, Jen. I'm not twenty any more. Jen?"
Harm was wrong, whatever Jen was doing did work. And Jen was right. It was better the next time.