Never Touch An Elf's Hair!
Hey everyone! Here we are with yet another one shot for Lord of the Rings! I really love this story, its funny (at least I think it is) and I hope you all enjoy it. I know this has probably been done before but I promise I'm not copying from anyone. I'm only borrowing JRR Tolkien's characters and his world.
The Fellowship had retired for the night and now rested beside the river. Aragorn was off on the bank with Boromir, the two talking in hushed voices, their heads inclined towards each other as they watch the flowing current.
Gimli was relaxing in the grass, under the deep shadows of the tall trees around them, his head bowed and his eyes closed as he dreamed of the beautiful face of Galadriel. Suddenly, Merry's mischievous voice broke through his thoughts rudely and he opened his eyes to see the young Hobbit whispering to Pippin.
They were glancing over to their left as the blond figure resting below a tree nearby. Letting his eyes wander, Gimli's gaze fell on the regal Elf nearby and he was slightly startled at what he saw. Legolas was asleep, as Elves sleep, with his eyes half open and staring straight ahead. His sleek blond hair glinted perfectly, falling in soft waves down his shoulders and onto his chest which rose and fell softly. His perfectly clean hands were clenched around the bow of Galadriel which was perched on his knees, slightly lifting up his shirt which showed no sign of being travel worn. Where the other Fellowship members were filthy, cold, tired and hungry, Legolas showed no sign of any of that, as if he had been out for a midnight stroll and now rested in the shade of a tree.
Gimli turned back to them, confused, and saw Merry and Pippin were still eyeing the elf with identical evil grins on their faces. "What is it, young master Hobbit?" Gimli whispered gruffly, pulling the two small creature's attention away from the unearthly form a few feet away. "What's wrong?"
"Oh…" Pippin giggled, covering his mouth to stifle the sound. "Nothing, we were just talking." Beside him, Merry laughed quietly, also covering his mouth. Gimli's curiosity was spiked.
"Well," He growled, rather louder then he intended. In the shade of the tree, Legolas shifted slightly, but slept on; still unaware he was the subject of any jokes. "I like a good laugh as well as the next dwarf."
Merry and Pippin looked at each other with raised eyebrows as though they didn't believe him and both broke into fits of giggles again, rousing Frodo who had been drifting off beside Sam. "We were just talking about Legolas, and we came to the point of how well groomed he is." Pippin whispered, smiling. Gimli didn't know where this was going, but he was listening all the same.
"So, Pip here…" Merry began, but Pippin shook his head and slapped him playfully on the shoulder.
"You, Merry." He whispered back. Merry glared at him for a second and Pippin moved his attention to the stars above them, winking and waiting through the gaps in the dancing trees. There was silence for a moment before Merry talked again.
"Fine, I began to wonder what would happen to him if his hair was messed up, as much as ours of course."
"Of course." Pippin piped in, nodding fervently. "We don't want him to have a heart attack and be worse then us."
Merry nodded and pointed to Legolas. "Of course, no one is brave (emphasize on brave) enough to find out." Gimli bristled. How dare this little creature say that he wasn't brave enough to play a little trick on a damn Princling.
"Unless…" Pippin raised an eyebrow and looked directly at Gimli who glared back. Then, Pippin shook his head. "No." He said finally, "No I was wrong." The two Hobbits fell into silence. Over their shoulders, Gimli could see Frodo and Sam's eyes were closed, but both were smiling. Gimli, thinking they were mocking him, sprang to his feet, snapped his axe securely in his belt and began stumping as quietly as he could toward the sleeping elf. He never heard the snickers of the Hobbits.
Gimli was as quiet as he could, holding his breath so the keen ears of the Elf wouldn't pick him up before he reached him. It was with amazing luck (more then he would care to admit) that he wound up standing behind Legolas' sleeping form.
Raising a hand, he let it hover over the Elf's hair for a moment, mesmerized by the soft shimmer of gold in the pale light, before letting his hand drop into the warm hair. Legolas was awake almost instantly but it was too late. Startled, he jumped from his seat, grabbed an arrow from his quiver, knocked and aimed before he realized it was Gimli.
"What were you doing?" Legolas asked calmly, his words dripping with just suspicion. Gimli tried to look innocent but the nasty little Hobbits were snickering behind them.
"Nothing." Gimli answered, lowering his hands in unison with Legolas' lowering bow. When the prince moved to replace his arrow, his wrist brushed the top of his head and he froze. There was something wrong with the feeling on his skin, and the tingling on the top of his head. Dropping the arrow of the ground, and placing his bow carefully against his tree, Legolas let his hand move along his hair and almost fainted.
The braids had come loose and hung ungraciously behind his ears. The once neatly pulled back hair was frayed at the top and small bits stuck out at weird angles. The back braid had pulled loose under the Dwarf's rough hand and come almost completely undone, frayed to no end. Legolas thought he would faint at his wretched condition. This was little less then a crime and must be treated as such.
Rushing at Gimli, Legolas grabbed both his wrists, flung them into the air, kicked his legs out from under him and pinned him to the forest floor. Suddenly there was a hidden dagger in Legolas' hand, suspended next to the gristly skin on the Dwarf's neck. Gimli had cried out in surprise, alerting Boromir and Aragorn who rushed away from the river bank and into the trees.
Both were shocked at the display before them. Gimli lay motionless and frightened on the ground, Legolas leaning over him with a manic glint in his fiery blue eyes. The hand holding the dagger was quivering with rage and his hair stuck out at odd angles.
"Dwarf, you…" Legolas growled, the dagger nicking Gimli's neck sending rivulets of blood onto his chest. Legolas seemed to appalled to speak and resorted to foul words in his native language.
Aragorn and Boromir rushed over, fully aware that the Hobbit laughter had long ago died to be replaced with shocked silence. With all their strength they ripped Legolas from Gimli and set him on the ground a few paces away.
Boromir managed to take the dagger from Legolas who was still staring at Gimli with murder written all over his face. Aragorn was trying to calm him but it wasn't working.
"Legolas," He said in Elvish so the others wouldn't hear. "I know your upset but it doesn't look that bad."
"I look unkempt!" Legolas growled back. "I'll kill that Dwarf!"
"Go for a walk." Aragorn instructed. "You will feel better once you have." Legolas blew out a deep breath, turned and marched away. Aragorn watched him go (without his weapons) and turned angrily on the Hobbits.
"A foul trick." He growled. Gimli was struggling to his feet a little away from them, still shocked but burly once more.
"Over reaction if you ask me." He puffed, feeling his neck. Boromir was staring into the trees worriedly.
"Elves take great pride in their appearance." Aragorn said calmly. "You will have to come to understand that Gimli, son of Gloin." Gimli muttered something under his breath and walked as far as he could away from the clutches of shadows from the trees, incase the Elf came to seek his revenge. Stretching out beside the Hobbits, he soon fell into dreams.
When Gimli awoke the next day, he surveyed the camp. Everyone was awake, talking in hushed voices, but he noticed Legolas hadn't returned. Smirking he sat up and rubbed his eyes. The poor creature was probably still fixing his hair.
There was a strange smell to the morning; a clean smell and it over powered all others. The Elf was no where to be seen so it couldn't be him. His thoughts on this strange smell were interrupted by the Hobbit's silent giggles.
In the circle, Frodo and Sam where looking up at him, smiling in amusement. Merry and Pippin were outwardly laughing and the two humans were determinedly avoiding looking at him. Gimli couldn't believe they were still going on about last night.
"A merry mood you're all in." He thundered, hitching up his pants and stumping over to him. At his words, Sam broke into laughter, stifling it as best he could with a grubby hand. Gimli eyed him worried about his sanity, and then walked over to Aragorn. "And for breakfast?" He asked.
Aragorn lifted a pan from Sam's pack and held it out for him. "We were hoping you would go get water from a small dark stream not far through there." Aragorn pointed to a small break in the trees.
"Why not from the river?" Gimli asked. Aragorn shrugged and began drawing long puffs from his pipe.
"Well, if you're two scared to…" He began, but Gimli was already gone at these words, rushing through the path towards the stream. No one called him scared, even the prancy elf or the future King of Gondor!
At the stream, be bent over the water and almost dropped the pan. His beard was trimmed straight, combed and neat. Reaching up, he ran a hand over it, not feeling one tangle! His hair was also clean, and pulled back from his face in Elf fashion, with braids! Gimli almost had a heart attack.
"Well, well, well." Said a familiar voice. Gimli whipped around, brandishing the frying pan but no one was there. The damn elf must have been hiding in the trees. "I see, but I do not believe. A clean Dwarf! Now I have seen everything."
"Come out and show yourself you evil creature!" Gimli growled. "Come out so I can hit you with this pan and then cook yer head in it!" Legolas' sweet laugh echoed around the clearing, bouncing off trees so he couldn't tell which it had come from.
"You'll have to catch me first." He said simply. Suddenly a stick hit Gimli in the side of the head and he turned towards it, just seeing a blond elf leap from one tree to the next, high above him. Gimli ran after him, yelling for him to come down but Legolas wouldn't. Finally, Gimli threw down the pan and picked up his ax, threatening to chop down the trees and becoming aggravated when Legolas called him on.
Far away, sitting in a circle, the other members of the fellowship sat and listened to the threats and the laughter far away. Aragorn looked over at Merry and smiled.
"That was still a dirty trick." He said calmly. "Funny, but dirty."
"Do you ever think Gimli will find out you put his hair like that?" Merry asked. Aragorn shook his head and laughed.
"Legolas would never tell him." He said. The company smiled as the sounds from the forest faded away into silence. "I wonder how far Legolas will lead him."
No one answered, all lost in their own thoughts.