I don't think anyone will like this idea. And to be honest while I did have fun with this, a tad too much, and have more ideas similar to this, this is nothing but pure insanity. I'll be shocked if I even get a review for this. Hell, I'll even work on those crazier ideas if I even get five.
Ah before we begin, Miss Pleaseignoreme9 and I are doing a collaboration together so that is reason as to why her story is rather similar to mine. I do not mind if other writers wish to use my character, just PM me for permission and your idea for approval first.
I do not own Xenoblade chronicles X.
Dating is something Fenrir never thought he would do. He didn't even date his late fiancé when he first met her. They made love before they even went on their first date, which was a year after they met so he wouldn't be arrested for dating a minor. And millions of other crimes he commented.
And yet here he is. Currently dating someone. Although he wonders if he should call Kos-Mos something instead of someone.
His relationship with the woman started off as strange it would with someone who has the emotional spectrum of brick. When they first met, when she woke up from her life pod, she tried to shoot him in the face. Luckily she missed but she then precede to kick his team's rear ends all around NLA. Then she disappeared, until Fenrir found her surrounded by Ganglion. So after an intense fight, she agreed to join up with them. Then there is also the fact that Kos-Mos is a Mim.
To be more specific, she is the first Mim. When the mim project started, they tired to make them basically war machines at first to survive on any hostile planet. However that idea was scarped since there wasn't much room for the human mind. But it wasn't without resulting in their creator, Shion Uzuki, making the very first true A.I. In short, Kos-Mos doesn't have an original body like everyone else.
Her long pale blue locks that reaches to her rear. Piercing, calm and intelligent ruby eyes. Her skin a healthy milky white. Her height of five four. All of it is her natural body. Because of that she doesn't have much in the feelings department. She barely has any facial expressions, and she is extremely cold to the point that she would let someone on her team die if it meant victory. Then there the weird liking of cats. For some reason she would say 'nya', Japanese for meow, at the end of most of her sentences. To be honest she reminds him of Elma, if she didn't have a heart; they even have the same factual structure.
Although he shouldn't say that. She was the one who confessed that she loved him first. And during their first date in Sylvalum she did smile when he told her she looks cute in cat ears. She really is a strange person. Then again he can't really say that since he is an ex-super assassin that is in love with a robotic woman.
"Fenrir."
Ah. He know that cold monotone voice anywhere.
Fenrir didn't have to look form his documents form the briefing desk to know that Kos-Mos is standing right behind him. Looking through him with her almost unblinking gaze.
The barracks are shockingly busy today. Lin and Celica are at the table playing chess while Tatsu watches intently. With lovely xeno's black pieces dominating the board. Elma and Murderess are chatting on the couch next to them with tea and coffee. Well, Murderess is mostly trying to convince Elma to take a very high paying and dangerous mission with her. Doug, and Gwin both of which are drinking coffee, and Fry, who is reading the newspaper are setting at the kitchen table waiting for Fenrir so they have their, in Lin's words, 'man date'; although they're just going out to the bar.
And the man they are waiting on is in the debriefing room going over some files form his recent mission.
"Mm?" He answered Kos-Mos calmly. There is one good thing about secretly dating a nearly emotionless woman. It's a lot easier to keep it a secret.
"I would like to copulate with you again."
Fenrir's forehead met the top of the table with lovely bang.
Funny thing about the human ear. Even though, compared to their mammal cousins, they have horrible hearing. They do have something called selective hearing. In where if something out place comes across the air waves, they will immediately turn their attention to it. Like a loud bang, or Kos-Mos asking Fenrir to have sex with her. Again, judging from her words.
Everyone reacted accordingly. Murderess looked up with heighten interest while Celica squeaked in shock. Lin placed her chess piece so hard on the board that it slipped form her hands and smacked Tatsu in the forehead. Knocking the little Nopon out. Doug spit out his drink in shock, right in Fry's face who recoiled and knocked Gwin's face right into his hot cup of coffee.
And Elma-
"Mm. Maybe should add more sugar..." Just calmly sipped her tea.
"Ugh…." It seems to be a catch twenty two when secretly dating a woman who wouldn't know covert if it was branded on her forehead.
'She can turn her arm into a cannon for christ sake…' Fenrir sighed with his face still plated on the desk. He thought it would be best to deal with her current problem then with his social execution.
"Kos-mos." He asked.
"Yes love muffin." And she answered. Much to his horror.
There was another sigh from the desk.
"Two things. One: don't call me that."
She titled her head in confusion. "Then would you prefer Lover? Tiger? Honey? Bae? Baby? Cutie? Sexy man bea-"
With a blazing face Fenrir stopped her talking with a hand over her mouth. "Just call me by my name."
He removed his had to allow to speak again. "Xza-"
Only for it to latch back on.
"My other name!" He hissed in a whisper. He doesn't need everyone, beside Lin and Elma, to know that his amnesia has vanished and he remembers his rather bloody history.
"Fenrir." She said after he removed his hand again.
He sighed in relief.
"My darling."
Only for his forehead to kiss the table again.
"Ok. So conversation A just went down the drain…." He grumbled. "Let's try conversation B." His green eyes looked up hers. "Do you remember that thing we talked about?"
Once again Kos-Mos titled her head as she went through her memory banks.
"You mean how I should lessen my grip when I suck your co-"
And once again Fenrir's hand saves the day.
"The OTHER thing!" This woman is trying to get him buried under a mile of embarrassment.
"You mean when you told me that should have more tact?"
Finally she gets it. "Yes. To be more precise, you need more shyness."
However Kos-Mos shook her head. "I have run through forty million simulations and have concluded that because I have love, I do not need shyness, nya."
And Fenrir needs to find the quickest fire escape.
Kos-Mos took her finger and poked her boyfriend in the shoulder asking, "May we copulate now sweetie?"
This is a problem with dating her. She has no social skills what so ever. It's worse then her just saying whatever is on her mind, Kos-Mos is just utterly blunt. In the middle of a briefing she would suddenly walk up to him, toss him over her shoulder and sped out of the door. Just so she could have their date or she wanted to do something her hyper intelligent mind came up with. He had to come up with flimsy to everyone that her circuits were acting up and she needed help getting to her Mimcenter. This has happened four times. In the past month. To be honest he's shocked their secret lasted for three months.
"Whoa wait a minute here." The former heiress took the stage as everyone else is still gawking at the two. "When did you and destructor girl nine thousand start doing horizontal limbo?"
"When indeed…" Fenrir grumbled as he walked form the briefing room. Kos-Mos cuddling with his arm. Her head leaning on his shoulder while she continued to poke him in the stomach, with very robotic visage. Once again this woman has no tact.
Celica looked at her friends with massive red face. "So you and Ms. Kos-Mos are…together?"
"Well…" He rubbed the back of his head. They actually started dating after one of the black ops missions that Maurice secretly blackmails him to do since that old man assigned her as both his partner and as insurance policy incase Fenrir goes rouge. But he can't tell them that for many reasons.
"It was in Cauldros during one of its many fire storms." Kos-Mos explained in her monotone voice. "As Fenrir kneeled to me, his cape roaring in the storm. His hair swaying in the air. He flashed me one of his brilliant smiles. Asking me in his silky, manly voice.
'Kos-Mos, ma magnifique reine, by mine!'
I could not help but gush. My face turning red as he took my hand. Kissing it with his sweet lips.
'Ah!' I cried. 'But Fenrir, mon peut chevalier, we are too different! We-'
He took me in his arms. A fire in his powerful green eyes.
'I care not mon amour! I love you and only you!'
He leaned towards me and place a fiery-nya."
"That's not what happened." Fenrir deadpanned as he lightly chopped Kos-Mos on her forehead.
"And when the heck did we suddenly become French?"
"You do not like it mon peut chevalier?" Kos-Mos asked plainly. Her head tilting slightly in question.
"Stop that." Fenrir chopped her on the head again making her squeak, "Nya."
Even if his social life jumps off a cliff, he could start a comedy tour with Kos-Mos.
"That's not what happened…?" For some reason Celica looks extremely disappointed at the fact that such a romantic story wasn't true.
The demon of NLA sighed, and came up with a basic excuse. Saying that they started dating after a mission. It wasn't wrong but it isn't right either. Everyone seemed to accept that answer; although Elma was still knee deep in her tea drinking.
"..." Lin however looked deep in thought.
"You alright?" Fenrir asked. Worried about her quite behavior. He honestly thought she would be the most vocal out of everyone.
"Eh!?" Lin squeaked uncharacteristically "I-I am fine! It just-"
"Lin is depressed because she too is infatuated with my man, and wishes to be with him."
…
Silence never felt so odd.
"What!?"
"Seriously!?"
"Oh oh…"
"Just call me by my name!"
"Hmm… maybe I should have used ginseng instead of vanilla."
All eyes are on Lin as she looked utterly mortified.
"Hold on a sec!" Doug leaped from his seat. "Lin you can't be-he's almost old enough to be your dad!"
"And you're not even her father's age." Murderess rolled her eyes. Doug may be a good friend but the man really needs to let go of some old earth notions. "Now be a good boy, sit there and be quite."
Doug looked to retort, until Lin roared out to Kos-Mos in protest.
"What the heck!? I told you that was meant to be a secret!" She raged at the taller woman only for her to blush when Fenrir's eyes met her's.
However Kos-Mos does not see a problem with this.
"Why are you distressed Lin?" She asked.
Lin puffed out her cheeks in anger. "Why!? Because you knew I was in love with him and you just took him without think about my feelings about it!"
Kos-Mos is once again not off put by Lin outburst. "I am not stopping you."
"Eh?" Lin blinked.
"If wish to be with him I will gladly welcome you to the pack."
"Eh!?" Fenrir gawked.
"Just sign this form please." Kos-Mos took out a very long document.
"Mmm." And Elma is enjoying some damn good tea.
The document was long, almost like a scroll with a list of female names. The top reading 'Members of Fenrir's harem.'
"The hell is that!?" Fenrir shouted as he snatched the paper away from her.
Kos-Mos answered. Although there was this odd twinkle in her eye. "It is a list comprising of all the women in your harem."
"I don't have a harem!"
Apparently he dose as his eyes are swirled through the page. Looking at all the names on the list there are a lot he didn't recognize.
"Who is T-elos?" He asked.
"My younger sister who thinks that since she is the better model she should prove herself by destroying me." Kos-Mos answered calmly while Fenrir's eye did that 'this is really starting to piss me off' twitchy thing.
"Why are you trying to hook me up with your homicidal little sister?" Those words sound too normal coming from his mouth.
"T-elos is very violent, arrogant and thinks that everything all living things beneath her should die. But she is not a bad person, nya."
"Those can't be complaints." Fenrir retorted.
"She just has, as they say, 'a massive stick up her ass.'" If it wasn't for her emotionless speech, Fenrir would have sworn she is joking.
"Then why in all that is holy, did she agree to sign this!?" The better question should be how she got the woman to sign the paper without getting attacked.
"I told her about your exploits and she seemed quite interested in, her own words, 'breaking you and making you her personal slave so she could finally beat me.' However I have calculated that her winning against you will be impossible, nya."
"Kos-Mos, dear." He says through gritted teeth. "You can punch a hole through our most advance skell. Your so called younger sister is better model then you. She will kill me and repurpose me as a lamppost."
"You will not lose." She says like a fact.
"And what makes you so sure?"
Without even blinking Kos-Mos said. "Because you have my love, sweetie."
Love will not stop a high powered cannon blast to the stomach Kos-Mos.
"I swear if I had half your confidence…" He still blushed at her bold declaration.
He ended the conversation there. Feeling if he continued, he would fall too deep down the rabbit hole that is his girlfriend. He looked further down at the names and couldn't help notice something odd about one of them.
"Elma!?" And very familiar.
Said woman merely sipped her tea as all eyes drew to her. She looked at her gapping, red faced second in command with sly smile.
"Did you honestly think that all those times I invited you for lunch was just for fun?" She chuckled, swirling the brown liquid in her cup. "You are quite dense sometimes you know."
He…wasn't going to deny that.
Alexa. Hope. Tika. Gu ladha, Ga Bewhe, along with a few other Wrothian females, Porne and shocking a female Orphean are just a few of the people he knew on the list of nearly twenty women. However what made the normally stoic Fenrir blush and have his eyes grew three times their normal size are three names on the list.
"Why are Goetia, Ryyz, and Gu Buidhe on this list!?"
Kos-Mos took the list form his hands. Walking over to a flabbergasted Lin she explained to her lover.
"Goetia said something along the lines of 'The only primitive scum deemed worthy to lick my feet!' And Ryyz said, 'It-it's not like I like him! I am just going show him that primate who his betters are!' I believe they are called 'Tsunderes.' And Ga Buidhe said 'It'll shut Jiarg about getting me married and his butt not half bad too.'"
"I uh don't think that's why he meant by why…" Gwin hesitantly said. Honestly not being able to keep up with the flow of the conversation.
Doug decide to be the voice of reason in this whole situation. "Listen ya tin can! You can't go around asking anyone woman on the street, and our enemies, to shack up with Fenrir! No one is going to agree with such madness."
Kos-Mos titled her head, "Madness? I believe this called survival."
"How is Fenrir having his long sowrd in the pants of every woman on Mira helpful for survival?" Murderess agreed. Although the smile on her face showed she is enjoying her comrade's mortified looks. "You sure this isn't part of one your little kinks, robo tits?"
To Kos-Mos spoke clear and plainly. Like a teacher a class. "The human race is currently not even half of its previous number of 7.4 billion people. If you wish to survive then you must reproduce and repopulate Mira with your kin. To do that a rapid rate, you must take on multiple partners at a time. The time it takes to date, find the right partner, marry, and then recognized if you're ready for children is approximately ten years. My method will cut that time by more than half. Also."
She walked over to her lover and lifted his shirt. Showing of his rather chiseled body with hard abs that are decorated with many scars.
"Hey-"
"Fenrir is a fine male specimen." Kos-Mos continued. "At six feet Fenrir is at the above average height, with one hundred and fifty pound of muscle his is not too muscly but also not too skinny. A male trait that fifty percent of the female population find highly attractive. He is very strong, the strongest male BLADE having defeated many Indigen and Ganglion. He has a mass amount of wealth to take care of himself and his mates. He can cook the basic necessities. He is rather intelligent with an I.Q of one hundred and seventeen. Very caring and loyal to all he cares about. A rather decent father figure. And, as Alexa once said, 'he has abs for days.'"
Fenrir slapped her hand away as he pulled his shirt down. His face is not the only one that was red as Celica and Lin are rather ruby faced too.
"He is the prime male subject for producing many strong and healthy children."
"So his a breeding stud?" Murderess almost couldn't hold back that massive grin on her face.
"That is a very accurate assessment." Kos-Mos agreed. "With a genitalia length, in centimeters, of 17.78 and garth of 7.6-"
"Ok! That's enough form you!" There is no shade of red that can match Fenrir at the moment as he covered Kos-Mos's mouth. Although Lin's, Celica's, Murderess's, and even Elma's blushes faces came really close.
Once again silence rules all.
"Seven inches long…and three inches wide." Lin said in an almost daze. Half damning her intelligent mind and half thanking it for making such a great calculation.
"Well….damn." Murderess now has her turn to gape, although she has a very large smile on her face.
"How…dose that fit…"Celica could barely finish her sentence without a blushing.
Elma just took another sip of her tea. With very happy grin on her face.
This whole thing is utterly insane. Kos-Mos creating a harem for him and giving out all his measurement like it is nothing. This has to be some kind wired dream.
"I have an objection!" Fry, bless his soul, stood up to this insanity.
"I believe it is unfair for only Fenrir to have a harem of beautiful women! I demand equal treatment!"
Curse this man. Curse this man to hell.
Kos-Mos pulled Fenrir's hand off her mouth and spoke. "Fenrir is merely a test dummy to see how this works. Mr. Maurice will approve of this law after the threat of the Ganglion has passed and the life hold is found. All human and Xeno males, human and xeno women will be able to take multiple partners." Kos-Mos has the answer to all the world problems it seems.
Fry sat back down in his seat and returned to his paper. "Carry on then!"
Doug could only let his jaw flap open and close slowly and weakly. The logic this woman just said beaten and battered his fragile mind. Today he has learn an important lesson.
You rarely win an argument with a woman. You NEVER win an argument with hyper intelligent robot woman.
"Ok," Gwin barely said. Not knowing if he laugh, keep a straight face, or just flat out give up and do a mix of both. "But why are you ok with this? You'll have to be sharing him with like what thirteen women?"
"Fourteen." Lin added as she wrote her name down. The thoughts in her mind not meant for a thirteen year old girl.
"And you can add me to that list." Murderess signed her name too. Giving her new boyfriend a saucy wink. "You're still my manservant after all."
"Thank you for your contribution, nya. And I do not mind this." Kos-Mos bowed to her two new harem sisters and answered Gwin question. "I love Fenrir."
Even with her robotic voice. Stoic persona. A calm visage. As she looked at the young man currently blushing, everyone could see it. The love. The passion this, mim, no this human woman, has for him.
Her ruby eyes shined as they spoke. "I do not have much in terms of emotions. I was built to kill enemies and assist humans on their next path in evolution as they colonized their new home. While Shion did program me with something close to a heart, I have never had the need to active it. I found it…needless."
And then there is was. A smile. Her smile. Only for him. Every time he sees it, his face lights up. His chest feels tight. It's a feeling he really can't describe but he can't say he hates.
"Seeing his resolve. His will. It seemed to just overpower everything around him. And he knows this and yet, unlike a lot of humans, he does not use it to his advantage. He dose not fallow the normal path a person like him should. He doesn't conform to what others deem him to be; He is who is because of his loved ones around him and his own power."
"Even with a cold heart as mine couldn't withstand the heat of his own." Kos-Mos finished her lovely monologue. Making everyone's chest flutter.
"Which is why I want to give Fenrir and my mother as many children as I can, nya."
So swiftly are the joys of life cut down.
After rebooting form his daze, Fenrir tried to counter and make sense of all this. "Look. If this about Gwenevere wanting grandchildren form me, I told you that Grex is not my mother. She's just some old dog who wants kids to spoil."
"Correction." Kos-Mos changed the date in her records. "My future mother-in-law."
"Oi." And once again the husband is ignored.
"It is the personal reason why I started this plan." Kos-Mos continued. "While I am forty percent human, I am still twenty percent mechanical, and forty percent bio-mechanical Nano machines. While I do have the necessary parts for the act of sex I still do not have the parts for producing children. And unlike everyone in NLA, I do not have a real body."
She looked at the women in room. Her ruby orbs icy, and robotic yet oddly womanly as she spoke. "I was hoping one of you would not mind assisting in the job of incubator for mine and Fenrir's child when you have your bodies back."
Ok now this has gone on long enough. They aren't going to agree to this. He's calling this whole thing off. Although he has to be honesty, for the sake of humanity, this isn't a bad idea. They are going to have to expand eventually; they can't keep their numbers so small. And it's not like he's opposed to the idea of loving some many women. Many of which he has deep feelings for himself. Heck if Kos-Mos didn't confess to him first he would have been stuck trying to pick which one of dear friends he should confess to and which would have their heart broken for a lifetime.
But this is still a mad idea. No women in their right mind-
"Of course were going to have kids." Murderess says with a grin. As if having kids is like baking a pie. "We will be needingan heir to the Effinger Empire."
"I-I don't think I am ready yet but…well I know Rock needs something like a father figure in his life so…." Celica said looking at the ground with deep interest.
"Fu fu. I don't kids are in my future, yet. But I'll help you out anyway I can Kos-mos." Elma grinned.
"I'll think about kids when I am a little older. But hey!" Lin smiled at her android friend. "Don't give up yet! I bet with the minds of NLA put their heads together we could come up with a way to give a flesh and blood body!"
"I…kind of saw this coming." Gwin sighed. "I mean come on dude. With all the women you hang around, I am kind of shock this hasn't happened sooner."
"You better be glad you're in that mim body Mr. Seven inches." Fry chuckled behind his new paper. "Your ass is soo need the extra energy!"
"I…" Doug just stammered. "I…can't even refute that…."
It's finished. The war has been lost.
Fenrir slumped his back to the wall. Utterly defeated. Kos-Mos had won. She had beaten his guards. Destroyed his walls and trashed everything he once thought was normal in his abnormal life.
Lin squatted and tackled him with a bear hug and a giggle. "You better get used to this darling! You do kind of deserve this with…you know. Your past being kind of screwy."
'Yes. Of coruse. Having a fiancé killed and then gaining a harem of nearly twenty women makes perfect sense.' Fenrir let his head fall into his hands in despair. 'This all sounds like a really bad fanfiction.'
"I am not one for sharing." Sharron shrugged. Her smile cunning and devious. "But it would so boring if we did this the old fashion way. And one being of the 'Demon's wives' sounds like a hell of a good time."
"S-should I move in with him…but where will rock sleep? Actually what are the human customs for this?" Celica looked deep in thought, a pink hue on her face as she thought of her wedding dress.
"Don't think about too much." Elma said. She smile coy and cat like. "When she came to me with this idea I thought she was mad too, but she does have a good point. This is all for the good of NLA. Dear."
His lovely tormentor kneeled in front of fallen toy.
"Honey pie." She says in that monotone voice of hers. Poking him in the cheek. "Can we copulate now?"
'Honey pies' eye twitched.
They want to 'copulate'?
He activated his overdrive. A burst of electric popping around him.
They'll copulate alright!
Fenrir grabbed Lin, tucking her under his arm and Kos-Mos, throwing her over her shoulder. His hands cupping soft rear ends as he finally snapped. A devilish look in his eye and a smile worthy of the title Demon lord.
"We'll copulate so damn hard the ganglion in Cauldros are going to hear us!" The almighty demon roared as he stormed towards the bunks. He didn't even wait for the door to slid open as he kicked it down.
Lin turned a shameful shade of red. "At-at least be gentle!"
"Activing kitty sex mode zero zero five." Kos-Mos said with twinkle in her eye.
Elma finished her tea, and gave a quite cough. Her face painted red. "As one of key members of his harem, I must go and…watch over the preceding's." And then she walked into the bunks.
"If you boys don't want hear screaming and words that'll make your virgin eyes bleed," Murderess teased. Walking to the bunks with a lick of her lips and unbuttoning her shirt. "I suggest you leave. And be a dear and lock up when you're gone."
With that she disappeared in the bunks.
Celica looked at the men. Then at the bunks. Then at the men. Her face growing redder by the minute. She stood abruptly, bowed out an excuse me, and scurried on into the bunks. But not without fixing the door first.
What a sweet girl.
"Oh my!?"
For the next five minutes.
"Soo…" Doug looked around his comrades. Their plans for the day changing a little as Fenrir is a little…
"Ah~! Fenrir~!"
Busy.
"Did that just happen?"
"Yup." Gwin said. Sipping his mug as he walked to the barracks door
"And in other news. Mira's sky is still blue. The ganglion still hate our asses, except for two of them, and you're still single." Fry said folding the newspaper as he prepared to leave.
Doug sneered at his friends. "Right and you two are just swimming in dates."
"What are talking about?" Gwin said with a raised eye brow as he walked out the door. "Me and Irina have been dating for weeks now."
"I've been dating a lovely Wrothian babe." Fry snickered, fallowing right behind Gwin. "Soon to be Wrothian babes. Plural my friend. Not singular. As in more than one."
Doug took a second to understand his friend's words. Yet when Kos-Mos moan of 'Faster nya!~' and Lin's hearty groan of 'Oh god yes!' hit his ears, he ran out of the barracks yelling,
"I don't even care anymore!"
-In Cauldros-
Luxaar is praying to his ancestors to come and smite the pitiful humans. He is on his last legs. His two highest commanders have fled. Even with the Vita soon to be in his grasp, he felt valuable. He needs a sign.
Anything form the ancient to show them they are willing to help him.
"Ahhh~! I am cumming~!"
Luxaar laughed maniacally as 'ancestors' spoke to him. "Khahahaha! You hear that primates!? My ancestors and I are coming to obliterate you! Hahhahahaha!"
Two Marnuck guarding the door watching their leader laugh evilly.
The one on the right suddenly whispered. "Wasn't that female-"
"Just let boss have moment." The one on the left answered.
I am going on Hiatus.
Although I say that it is mostly for Xenoblade X stories. I will still be trying to work on Black Hand, Hook up, and other stories but they'll be a lot slower now.
Yeah kind of sudden, but I have writers block that is kicking me so hard in the bullocks that they've fallen off and I am currently chasing them while writing this.
So here's hoping that I come back with renewed vigor. And a little less LinXCross stories. I think the FBI is starting to watch my house.
Ah and homework assign while I am gone. Put Elma true and mim form, together with T-elos and Kos-Mos and give a nice big hug to the Xeno-series creator for creating the perfect woman once you notice something about them all.