"Harry's Ollivander Adventure"

Harry Potter walked cautiously into Ollivander's Wand Shop, which according to Hagrid, was the best wand store in London...nonetheless the ONLY wand store in London. Harry looked around oddly. "What the bloody hell is this rats nest?" Harry was sort of dust and dirt and oldness proof. And old looking guy came skidding over on a ladder.
"HARRY POOOOOOOOOTTTTEEEER!" Harry scrunched up his face. "Stupid old jerk..." Ollivander proceeded on with his speech about remembering every wand he ever sold and so on. Harry almost fell asleep, but Ollivander ended his speech and brought Harry a wand. "WAVE it." Harry waved the wand like a conductor's stick and soon wand cases and papers were flying about. "NOOOOO!" screamed Ollivander. He brought Harry another wand.
Harry waved that one hodge podge too. A box hit Ollivander in the head and he got agitated. "NO! DAMNIT"
He gave Harry the special wand and Harry cast a spell on Ollivander and Ollivander fell over knocked out. Harry shrugged. "Oh well. I guess I'll just go knit potholders." But all of a sudden an evil wand started killing Ollivander and Harry paused to laugh hysterically. Meanwhile the author was snickering madly. She was of course an evil person who was demented and had nothing to do but drink coffee and write horrible things. (A/N: No offense, Miss Rowling)
But the author decided she'd much rather go have a staff meeting with her teddy bears so she skipped off,
randomly singing "Sunday Morning". Harry was now rather scared ran off screaming "CARBUNKLE!!" J.K paused her skipping to snicker. (A/N: I've had too much coffee again, pardon me.) And that's where this terrible, terrible mess of a tale comes to an end...