A/N: I don't particularly like the Lupin/Tonks ship, but seeing as Remus is my favorite character, I want to like the ship. So here's my exploration into what could have been happening behind the scenes. I also don't read fics about them so there's a good chance all of this is completely cliché.

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...

"Hey, Moony." Poke. "Moony."

"Yes?"

"Let's get drunk tonight."

A slow, soft smile. "Sure."

That's how it started.

Remus Lupin felt old. He did not recover from the monthly transformations like he used to and there was a definite fatigue around him now, in his thirties, that he couldn't even pretend to enjoy. Werewolves aged faster than humans, and because he had been turned at such a young age, he had been aging quickly essentially all his life.

Around most people, Remus Lupin felt old. When he compared himself to his friend, Sirius Black, he felt ancient. Sirius had, of course, been through his own share of horror and pain, unjust suffering, but it had, if anything, stunted his aging. Sirius was stuck as a young man, emotionally twenty-two years old and perpetually wanting to have some fun. Remus was too old to be Sirius's best friend, but there they were.

And if he stopped comparing the two of them and took a few shots instead, Remus could feel young again with Sirius.

"C'mon, Kingsley," Sirius roared, trying to pass the bottle of whiskey to their fellow Order member, who was fastening his cloak around his neck. "Drink with us."

Kingsley smiled patronizingly at Remus, who smiled back gratefully. Kingsley was probably Remus's other best friend, the one he went to when he needed to talk about grown-up things in a mature, calm way, to be reassured calmly or get mature advice—not the kind who wanted to get drunk on any given night. But of everyone in the Order, with the exceptions of Sirius and Dumbledore, Kingsley knew best how much pain Remus went through on a daily basis and so he understood when Remus needed to let loose with someone more like Sirius.

"I'll pass," Kingsley said to Sirius, who shrugged and took another shot. Kingsley shook Remus's hand. "I'll see you tomorrow, Remus."

Sirius tried to corral just about every Order member who walked past into drinking with them, but they all refused (with varying degrees of annoyance). By the time Sirius's house was growing quiet, both Sirius and Remus found it quite funny that no one wanted to put up with drunk them.

Night was falling and Sirius lit the fire in the fireplace, and the two friends settled onto the couch in front of it. Someone, possibly Kreacher, was moving around upstairs. They talked and laughed, the topics of conversation ranging from Harry to Voldemort (only Sirius's unwavering sense of humor managed to make that topic funny) to fresh gossip. At some point, Remus told Sirius that Molly heard from Fred that Harry had a girlfriend named Cho. Sirius grinned at the news.

"Our boy's growing up, Moony."

The door opened and they both jumped as a loud crash shook the room.

"Sorry!"

Remus turned and watched, amused, as Tonks picked herself up from the floor, where she had gotten tangled up in what looked like curtains. He was too drunk to wonder how she had gotten in them, and anyway, it really wasn't that unusual for her.

"Are you alright?" he asked her, his words slightly slurred.

"Oh, yes, of course," she muttered and dusted herself off. Her hair was a little longer than usual, grazing the tops of her ears, but was a shockingly brilliant green. "I was just off, then. Good night, Remus, Sirius—"

"No, don't go, drink with us!" Sirius sang. "Wait, are you old enough to drink?"

She glared at him and he choked back his laugh.

"Kidding, Tonks, really, join us." He handed her the bottle of whiskey, which had been refilled once already. She looked at Remus, who grinned, before shrugging and taking a swig directly from the bottle.

"Would you look at that, Padfoot, you got one!" said Remus and Sirius whooped.

It could not have been more obvious that Tonks was a lightweight. After another shot, she could not stop giggling and had to sit on the floor in front of them because she was worried about falling, even from a seated position on the couch.

Despite Tonks's presence, Sirius and Remus were soon discussing their most popular drunk topic—their Hogwarts days. She listened intently and laughed at the right moments, asked the right questions.

At one point, Remus thought Sirius was staring at him, but when he turned to get a better look, Sirius was looking away.

Eventually, as an old clock struck midnight, Sirius hoisted himself carefully to his feet.

"I'm worn out," he announced and ruffled Tonks's hair. "See you tomorrow."

"G'night, Padfoot."

"'Night, Sirius."

As his footsteps on the stairs faded away, Tonks moved to sit next to Remus.

"I never pegged you for a drinker," she said and he looked at her, a sad smile on his face. His eyes were glazed over and the room was spinning nicely. He really had to focus to only see one of her. "Why do you drink like this?"

"What you might not know about me, Nymphadora," he said after a few moments' hesitation, his words more slurred than ever, "is that I am a deeply unhappy person." He took one last shot before sending the bottle flying back to its place in the kitchen.

She moved closer, dangerously close. Their legs were touching. Thoughts foggy and weighed down so that they could not go faster than a crawl, Remus looked at her curiously. She slid her hand into his, wove their fingers together, and kissed him.

Instinct, or what felt like instinct, took over and he kissed her back, their lips moving smoothly over one another. There was so much alcohol in his system, even for a werewolf, that he did not think of stopping, despite the ache that pounded in his stomach with each beat of his heart—which kept getting faster until it was racing and he was on his back on the couch and Tonks was on top of him and they kept kissing, kissing.

He couldn't tell if he was blacking out from the alcohol or if things were just happening faster than he could grasp, but then she was on the floor again, lifting his robes over his knees. His head fell back against the cushions as she took his erection in her mouth, the perfect size to take all of him in without hesitation, and her head bobbed around him. One of his hands tangled in her hair at the nape of her neck.

Remus felt himself start to rise towards climax, but Tonks pulled away unexpectedly and moved to meet his eyes.

"Can we finish this in your room?" she asked, her voice deeper than usual, throaty with desire, and he nodded. They stumbled up the stairs until they reached his room and collapsed on the bed.

When Remus woke up, sunlight was pouring in through the window—he had not shut the blinds before falling asleep, a mistake he deeply regretted as his head felt like it wanted to split in two. He hesitantly touched his forehead.

It was only then that he noticed what else was different. His left arm was wrapped securely around a sleeping (and very naked) Nymphadora Tonks, whose hair was her natural mousy color. He stared at her back, which was turned toward him, and realized that his arm was pressed tightly against her breasts. Everything came back to him in a rush.

The panting, the gasps in his ear... the tearing off of clothing... damnit, the shagging. They had definitely shagged.

He carefully pulled his arm away from her, relieved when she didn't wake. He sat up slowly, his stomach churning, his mouth too dry, and the room spinning in a different, much less pleasant, way than it had been last night.

He stood up gingerly and inched toward the attached bathroom. He just made it to the toilet and managed a nonverbal silencing spell before the vomiting began.

Fuck. He was too old for this.

Ten minutes later, dressed and rehydrated, he crept from the room and hurried up the stairs until he reached Sirius's room. He knocked sharply and heard an annoyed murmur in response. Translating that to a hearty 'come in!' Remus opened the door and fell onto the bed next to Sirius, magically closing the door a moment later.

Sirius opened one eye and glared at him with it. "What?" he asked sleepily. Remus took Sirius's extra pillow and put it over his head, his face buried in the blankets, and didn't answer.

After a minute, Sirius rolled over onto his back and chuckled. "Y'know," he said softly, "the last time you fell into my bed like this and covered your head, we were sixteen and you had just had sex with Lily." Not moving the pillow, Remus groaned. Neither of them said anything for another minute. Then Sirius said, "If you've had sex with her this time, I'm going to have to ask you to leave my house." Remus didn't laugh. "C'mon, that was hilarious."

Finally, Remus looked at him. "How are you not hungover?" he asked. "We had the same amount to drink."

"No, no, we did not. You had about three shots for each one I had."

"Oh. That explains that."

"What did you do that you are regretting as much as shagging Lily?"

"I shagged Tonks."

"You're funny."

Remus put his face into the blankets again and Sirius sat up abruptly.

"Remus, tell me you're funny. That was a joke, wasn't it? There is no way that happened."

"I don't think I've ever been this hungover," said Remus, his voice muffled. "Really not in a joking mood. Sorry."

Sirius laid back down next to him and said, "Have you talked to her?" His voice was solemn, concerned, and Remus breathed a little easier. This was too private a problem to talk to Kingsley about—as close as they were, they weren't that kind of close—but he did need some maturity in this discussion. Sirius was going to come through for him.

He moved the pillow and rolled over onto his back. Their arms were pressed against each other. "No," Remus said. "She was asleep when I left."

Sirius sighed. "Damn. Are you going to talk to her?"

"She's so young," Remus said thoughtfully. "It was just a one-night stand, right? Surely she isn't expecting anything to come from this."

"Probably wanted to know what shagging a werewolf was like."

"Right. Curiosity."

"Right. I doubt it, Moony."

Remus looked at him. "What? Why?"

Sirius looked at him and smirked. "She's wild for you, mate. You really hadn't noticed?"

"What are you talking about?"

Sirius shook his head. "She's had a crush on you for ages. Had I not been drunk, I probably would have expected something to happen when I left you last night."

Remus looked back at the ceiling. "Damn."

Sirius patted his hand. "What about you?"

"What about me?"

"What do you want to happen? In the market for a girlfriend?"

Remus looked horrified. "Do you realize what you just asked me?"

"Yes."

"Do you? Do you, really?"

"She's young and human, I know."

"She's very young."

"And completely human. And she likes you. Now I'm asking: Do you like her?"

"You're joking."

"You said you weren't in a joking mood, I can respect that."

Remus sat up and looked down at him. "There's no way."

"If she likes you and you like her—"

"Padfoot—"

"She's an adult." Sirius sat up too, holding out his hands in a helpless way. "She's more mature than I am, she's got an intense job that takes a toll on her, she works hard. She fights hard. If ever there was a human who could safely and willingly date a werewolf, it's probably her. I'm sorry, mate, but...I honestly can support this, on one condition: Everything aside, forgetting about the danger and the stigma and how taboo it is, do you like her?"

Remus licked his lips nervously. "I can't just forget about the danger—"

"Forget about it, just for this question."

"It's too vital to the nature of—"

"No. She can take care of herself."

Remus's shoulders sagged. "This is all moot anyway, if she just wanted to shag."

Sirius put his arm around Remus's back. "But just in case she wants more, you need to know what you want. Imagine, if you will, safely hidden away in the glorious and illustrious House of Black, a fortnight before a full moon, the two of you drinking wine. Talking. Laughing. You smile at her and she touches your hand, like so"—Sirius took Remus's hand—"and you switch to deeper topics, the pain of lycanthropy, the curses you've experienced, and she listens and comments with her own experiences. Her own pain. The night goes on, you sit next to each other, you hold her, like so"—he rubbed Remus's back before returning his arm to its original position—"and you tell her you love her—"

"Aren't you jumping ahead a little?" Remus said quickly.

"Yeah, that's the point," said Sirius. "If that's what you want, if that's where you want to be, you have to tell her that to get it started. Is that what you want?"

An hour later, Remus still didn't have an answer but they ventured out into the house. They both casually glanced into Remus's room on the way downstairs—the door was standing open and Tonks was not there.

They found her in the kitchen, talking to Mad-Eye Moody and Kingsley at the table. Everyone looked around as they entered. Kingsley raised his hand in greeting, which Sirius returned. Mad-Eye immediately returned to what he was saying. Tonks's eyes lingered on Remus a moment longer before refocusing on Mad-Eye. Her hair was green again.

Remus got toast for himself and had a quiet argument with Sirius about cooking eggs—according to Sirius, no one made eggs as perfectly as Remus did, but Remus doubted his stomach could handle even looking at them, all gooey and runny, not to mention the smell. He gagged at the thought.

He sat at the table, next to Kingsley, and tried to listen to the discussion but was too distracted by the furtive glances Tonks kept stealing at him. He pointedly avoided her eyes but could feel them on him.

Finally, with a clap on Remus's shoulder, Kingsley left, followed by Mad-Eye.

Sirius, Remus, and Tonks were left at the table. Sirius was just lifting a sandwich to his mouth, but froze, stood up, and left the room without a word. Remus fought back a grin and rather wished he could follow Sirius without it being incredibly rude.

"Where did you go this morning?" Tonks asked.

"Oh, to talk to Sirius."

"Are you angry with me?" She asked it quickly, as though she'd been thinking about it all morning and he sighed.

"No," he said gently. He looked at her eyes, her lips, and the sensory memory of kissing her came back to him. "I'm angry with myself."

"Why?"

"Last night...was a drunken mistake. I'm sorry."

"Oh." She dropped her gaze to the table and bit her lip. He took another bite of his toast. "Why was it a mistake?" she asked suddenly, looking at him again.

He chewed carefully, giving himself time to think. When he couldn't stall anymore, he said, "It was not something I would ever have done sober. I was not thinking."

"Why wouldn't you do it sober?"

He looked at her quizzically. "Tonks, I do not regularly have casual sex—"

"I didn't mean for it to be casual sex."

Remus took a deep breath. "What did you mean for it to be?"

She looked away, a bit awkwardly, and Remus marveled at what she could say as though it were nothing and what could embarrass her. She almost had it backwards.

"I'm attracted to you," she said softly. "You're the most fascinating, kind, optimistic person I know. I want...to be with you." A faint blush colored her cheeks and he wondered if she could hide that with her Metamorphosing if she tried.

Their eyes locked and Remus felt his heart break. "I'm too old for you."

"You're, what?, thirty-five? That isn't old."

He laughed and the tension that had been building broke a little. "It might not seem old to you, but trust me, I'm old. I'm also a werewolf."

"And I'm an Auror."

Remus blinked. "Is that... a species now?"

"I mean that I've been trained to deal with Dark creatures and besides, that only affects you once a month so why should it matter?"

He fought a grin. "It matters because there is stigma. It does not only affect me once a month, it affects me constantly. It's why I can't get a job or—"

"But I don't care if you have a job."

"It's also why you would be ostracized if we were together," said Remus, talking over her.

"I don't care. Anyone I care about would understand. I know you're attracted to me, too."

Remus's eyes narrowed. "It isn't a question of being attracted to you..."

Tonks glared at him stubbornly and he stared back, thinking fast, but he apparently hesitated too long. She stood up and walked around the table until she was standing next to him. Then she bent at the waist and kissed him.

And he smiled.

It was all so easy then