I approached the driveway nervously, my heart was pounding so loud I was worried the entire world would hear how nervous I was. I took in a deep breath and walked up her driveway, heading towards her front door. Her front door. That's right, her front door. This was her house, and I was an invited guest. She didn't know how I felt anymore. I could never tell her as it was, it would ruin our friendship. She was my best friend and I wouldn't jeopardize our relationship over some silly feelings.

A long time ago we were- yes - a very long time ago we were lovers. It was a summer fling, a beautiful yet ever elusive love. It was over almost over as soon as it had started. Those glorious two and a half months, every memory from that time period I held very dear to my heart. I was her first and she was mine, it was the happiest I think I'd ever been. She was as lovely as the night sky, stars twinkling in her eyes and the moon's shimmer on her skin. I knew I loved her on the night of the harvest moon, back when we were dating. We had gone to the harvest moon festival together and we danced and danced. Then we had snuck away to the balcony where we laid down on the roof and looked at the stars. She had tried to show me constellations she created herself, I struggled to see where she pointed to at the time. I still laughed anyways and told her that they were as beautiful as her. And then, she had laughed and called me a liar. It was the best two and a half months.

I shook my head free from the memories and knocked on the door. I'd never been over to her house. I understood though, she had a strict father who'd flip if she ever hung out with a guy alone at her home. The only reason I was invited today was because her parents were out of town and she wasn't "feeling in the mood to be alone." I didn't blame her as I took in the size of the house, I'd hate to be alone in a home so gigantic. I heard the lock click and watched as the door opened and there she was, right in front of me.

She was dressed in a worn-out oversized t-shirt and leggings, her violet hair tangled and messy. She looked as if she had rolled out of bed and hadn't bothered to get ready. Which, knowing her, was probably the case. She offered me a lazy grin as she stepped aside and let me in, shutting the door behind me. I stifled a gasp as I looked around, the house even grander inside then out. The ground beneath my feet was made of marble, the walls adorned with what looked to be numerous original paintings from all around the world. She headed up the stairs and I followed quickly behind, we were silent as she walked towards a door. I assumed it was her room.

I opened my mouth to speak to her as she opened the door but no sound came out of me, she stepped inside. I followed after, shutting the door behind me. I looked around in awe, her room looked nothing like the rest of the house, or at least what very little I'd seen.

The walls were painted a rich purple, with a white stripe going across the top of the room. There was a white desk that sat in the corner. It seemed to be cluttered with photos and magazine clippings. Above the desk hung a flowered vanity mirror that had roses of every shade of pink on it. Next to the desk, on the other wall was a window sill, cloaked behind a pair of translucent silky white curtains. I shifted my gaze to her bed, which she now was comfortably lounging on. It was simple enough, a queen bed with white blankets. On the top blanket was purple and gray floral designs, and a pillow lay on top of it all, matching the color of the wall. A little ways above the bed was a white shelf filled with tons of trinkets containing memories I couldn't begin to guess. Next to the door we had come from were two other doors. One was her closet, I assumed. The other might be a bathroom?

My gaze shifted back to her and she patted the seat next to her on the bed and I obliged, laying down beside her. My heart pounded again. I knew I had no reason to be nervous, there was no reason to be nervous. We were just friends now. Just friends. It had been almost a year since we were together, seeing as summer was approaching. I was just glad that our friendship hadn't become strained after that. In fact we actually went back to being close friends as if nothing had even happened. We never even talked about it, sometimes I wondered if it was ever real or if I had somehow imagined the whole thing in my sick perverted brain as a way to cope with my loneliness, but as I turned my head to look at her I knew in my heart it had been real. She was staring up, no doubt trying to find images in the ceiling. My gaze traveled down to her hand and I found myself smiling softly. She still wore the ring I had given her last summer. It was nothing extravagant or anything, just a simple silver ring with an amethyst and ruby resting in the middle intertwined.

It was a little gift, but a gift nonetheless. I had found it by chance towards the end of the vacation that some vendor down by the beach was selling for a reasonable price. It was the perfect gift, all the way down to the stones, that happened to match with the months we were born. I always assumed she had it locked up in some jewelry box and never bothered to wear it again. I guess I was wrong.

I looked back up at her face and she was smiling, eyes still fixated on the ceiling. I took in every detail of her face; her eyes, which from afar came off as a muddy grey but up close they were shades of hazel, green and blue, a marsh of color. Her freckles, her nose that always crinkled when she laughed. Her lips, the softest delicate color of pink. She was perfection even if she didn't know it herself. Though, knowing her, I'm sure she knew exactly how much of a God sent angel she was. She turned on her side, her back facing me for a moment and I heard fidgeting and a clunk before music began filling the air. She had turned on her speakers. She lay back on her back and closed her eyes, listening.

You've never been the one to be.

I don't know how long I was staring at her but she eventually turned her head to me and returned my stare, her smile vanishing into a questioning look. I remained silent, there was nothing to say in this moment. Music played gently in the background but I paid no attention to it.

I let my heart come undone.

While laying down I reached a hand out and grabbed hers, holding it, running my thumb absentmindedly over the back of her hand. I turned my head up again to the ceiling and searched for images that might be hidden in it all. A raccoon. A person with three hands. Her smile.

I want to love you

Feeling her gaze on me still, I stared harder at the ceiling willing for her to look back up. Why had she invited me over? She had other friends. Sure I was one of the closer ones but why me? Did she somehow know that my feelings had never left? Everyone else knew. Not like I tried hard to keep it a secret. She never seemed to notice though. She was dense when it came to romance, and part of me was forever grateful for that.

The corners of your heart no one's been too.

I swallowed and looked for images in the ceiling. A lion. A tamborine. A hat. I felt the bed shift as she turned on her side to face me fully, what was she looking at? Was I sweating or something? I began to grow just as nervous as I had been on her driveway.

I want to know you.

What do I say? I felt so awkward. I felt as if she could see all of my secrets. As if she could see all of me. I felt exposed under her gaze.

You make it so hard not to love you.

I breathed, trying to calm myself, let myself think. She invited you here so she wouldn't be alone. You're one of her best friends of course she'd invite you over. You mean the world to her, I told myself as I sighed ever so slightly, my hand still in hers I realized.

A perfect fit, a big mistake

I removed my hand from hers and laid it on my stomach, where the other one was.

Doesn't matter I have to know either way.

She reached over and grabbed my hand again, mimicking the thumb caress I had done to hers. I sucked in my breath.

I let my heart come undone

Against my better judgment I rolled over to face her. Our faces mere inches apart, my face was burning and I was sure I was blushing.

Hold onto me before I turn and run.

She leaned in, and I closed my eyes. Then I felt it, her soft lips on my forehead. A gentle kiss, before she pulled away. I opened my eyes and looked at her only to see her smiling kindly at me, my hand in hers.

"You're my best friend." She said.

And then I knew. I knew right then and there she would never be mine again.

I feel my heart come undone.

She was right in front of me, and she'd never be mine. Not in the way I wanted at least. I'd never be the guy she goes to at night, whom she loves unconditionally and would do anything for. Yes, she did love me, even now, but it was a different kind of love.

I feel my heart come undone.

Maybe I had known for awhile. Maybe I was holding onto some false hope that we could go back to last summer. Fall in love again. I knew now that that was not the case. She wasn't just as beautiful as the night sky. She was the night sky. Exquisite, there yet of reach. I understood as clear as day that this beautiful glimmer of starlight would never be mine again, not romantically.

I feel my heart come undone.

Finally, I returned the smile to her. She was my best friend, and I was hers, and I was going to be the best Goddamn friend she ever asked for.