March Challenge, Promptbingo, LJ.

Prompt: 23

Seeds of Hope

A gentle knock on the door startled Rukia out of her trance. She looked up to find the amicable face of her captain as he gazed back at her, his usual smile plastered to his face.

"Would you like some tea?"

It took a while for Rukia to fully come to her senses, but when she did, she gave a small shake of her head. This reaction had been what Jushiro expected… though he had been wishing it to stop once and for all. Rukia had locked herself up in the office, poring over paperwork and documents supposedly done by a division's lieutenant, and despite how much Jushiro wanted her to come out and take a rest, she remained obstinate, sitting at the desk with a paper before her and a brush in her tight grip.

"I'm fine, Captain," Rukia murmured, voice hoarse from disuse, just when Jushiro was about to try his hand at persuasion. "Thank you for your concern, but I'm all right."

The forced smile that Rukia gave him was one that Jushiro wasn't too fond of seeing. Even if it was meant for reassurance, he didn't feel even the slightest bit of it. All he was aware of was the tumultuous sentiments that resided within his subordinate – they twisted, turned, disentangling her mind till she could find nowhere else to turn to, lost in a void of confusion.

But still, Jushiro could do nothing but give into her wishes. It was best not to force something upon a person, especially one with a disturbed mind much like Rukia's. With a nod, he withdrew and closed the door quietly behind him.

Rukia returned to her work, letting her eyes scan through the documents splayed out before her. Though her gaze was set upon those papers, her thoughts, musings, were up where they shouldn't be. They were turned towards one such individual who, just weeks before, had suffered a tragic fate wrought about by his endless love for his wife as well as his own hurt pride.

Since that incident, Rukia had locked herself away, preferring to engage herself in work rather than her usual training sessions with fellow division mates. They themselves were in a state of shock, but no matter how pained they were at losing a teammate, not a single tear was shed. After the funeral though, the division hallways were silent as the grave and without even a moment of activity. The mourning period had dragged on long after the tomb was set, but eventually, hearts were mended and spirits healed courtesy of the captain and his kind smile.

But Rukia had been there. She had witnessed it all, everything that had happened there in the darkness of the forest. Why she was so cold to her captain was because if he had acted in the first place… Kaien wouldn't have fallen victim to the hollow. If Captain Ukitake had just stepped forward with his zanpakuto, sealed or not, Kaien would have been sitting at the desk across from her now, teasing her for her sudden diligence.

A stray tear fell upon her uniform, and Rukia quickly swiped at her eyes, cursing herself for being such a weakling. She forced her mind away from thoughts of him, tried to concentrate on her duty, but with each word she read she found that more tears were brimming in her eyes.

Rukia swallowed and, knowing that there was no way she could stop those tears from falling, reached into a small pocket in the inside of her uniform. She drew forth a small picture as big as her palm. A small lump caught in her throat as she traced the outlines of his face with her fingertips. It seemed like it was only yesterday that he taught her the basics of being a shinigami of the Thirteenth Division, of loyalty and pride… Of the secrets of the heart.

Biting her lower lip, Rukia pressed the photo to her chest, right over her heart. The beatings were loud in her ears, as if symbolizing moments of emptiness that passed since his death. But, even if he was gone, Rukia was certain that he would be with her forever, to assist and guide her through life.

It was now that Rukia realized how weak she was. He had been her pillar of strength, and with it now shattered, nothing more but rubble, she lost her balance and fell.

But what pulled her back up to her feet, what pushed her to be better, was that carefree smile he wore in the picture. It was one that spoke of joy, of faith and, above all else, hope.

She felt something warm and reassuring bloom within her, and as Rukia gazed into his bright eyes, studied the curls at the sides of his thin lips, she knew that it was none other than Kaien himself who had sowed those seeds of hope.

It was during dark times like these that Rukia, thanks to her late mentor, felt a little joy in the midst of solitude, and that was the sole thing that saved her from being engulfed by darkness.

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