Disclaimer: I, Crystal Shores, being of sound mind and body, do hereby confess that I do not own Eoin Colfer's Artemis Fowl.-sobs-
A/N: Okay, uhhhhhh...
Arty: Why did you write an Author's Note if you had no intention of writing something in it?
Crystal: Shut up, Arty-Warty-Farty--
Arty: OKAY! I GIVE!!!!!!!!!
The Diary of Artemis Fowl II
August 1/2006
Tuesday 3:44p.m.
Fowl Manor
Diary,
Once again my parents have decided to change my education. This is the fourth time. First, there was that ridiculous excuse for a school St. Bartleby's. But when my father read the report card, he decided I needed a more personal education. Thus began the tutors. That was a bad idea. I had surpassed them all within a week. Madame Genevieve was reduced to tears, and Professor Richards had anger management issues which ended our lesson very quickly. I did not mean for these things to happen of course. But I get so irritated when people underestimate me, that I often have to play mind tricks on them to get them to realize that I am no ordinary sixteen-year-old. Madame Genevieve tried to teach me calculus. Calculus! I learned that in my seventh year. When Mother finally figured out that I did not get along with any teachers, she decided self-education was the best idea. I enjoyed that phase. But when mother found out that I had been using my "lesson time" to build a molecular disintegrator, she decided that it wasn't the best of ideas. Now, her and father say I must make use of the local high school this year. Public education! Needless to say, I was outraged. But father says I have "superiority issues". Butler is not nearly as concerned about the educational system. He is more worried about my security. To tell the truth so am I. Opal Koboi could walk through the doors and I would never know until she did something. Then again, to break into a school one typically has to be able to get to said school, and Opal is currently behind bars in a maximum-security L.E.P. prison, specially designed to contain Opal by yours truly. The L.E.P. had to pay me a fortune in gold to convince me to do it. Mother is taking me shopping for school supplies tomorrow morning. She seemed excited, and I did not have the heart to tell her that I would rather take twenty microbiology tests than go shopping with her. In all actuality I would rather take twenty microbiology tests than do half of the things that mother and father suggest. I once timed myself to see how long it would take me to take twenty different microbiology tests. It took all of thirty minutes, and that was only because I did not realize that my pen had run out of ink.
I think I just solved the problem of my security. I must go and speak with Butler about this.
-Artemis Fowl the Second
A/N: I am addicted to reviews.
I write fast when I recieve reviews.
STOP READING AND REVIEW!!!!!
-ahem- Thank you! -makes puppy-eyes-