I must admit. I LUB CHEAPER BY THE DOZEN! I cannot believe there aren't more CBtD fics out there! Shame on you all! D Anyway, since Jake is totallah' awesome…I decided to write a fic about him…a sort of OC-ish fic, but a fic nonetheless. I've been writing this for three days now, lol. Let's hope I get it done tonight! (Dated April 21st)

Disclaimer: I don't own the movie WAH, nor the plotline, the book, or any 'o that stuph. I wish I did though, because then I would SO own Jake Smith, 'cuz he rockith my sockith…s. Anyway, I soooo cannot wait until Cheaper by the Dozen Two comes out, so in the meantime, this shall keep me occupied! (And if any of you guys have info on that, LET ME KNOW! I'm dying to know about it!)

Drat, these contacts are bothering the heck out of me…I just got them (Dated April 19th) a few hours ago, lol.

Honestly, I am not sure of the ages of all the kids. At first I thought Jake was older then Sarah, but then in the movie Kate says And then came Henry, Sarah, Jake, and Mark, all in consecutive years, which lead me to believe Sarah is older then Jake. Which is weird…but, whatever. In mah' fic, Sarah is 12 and Jake is 11. I'd say Henry's about 14 or so, and Mark probably 10. If any of you have solid proof of their ages, gimme' it! I'm curious!

I named the bullies (In the movie) Jim and Craig, just 'cuz. :)

Journals were for girls; Henry had said once when he found Jake writing in a navy blue book. Jake hadn't told him it wasn't a journal, and he didn't start breathing again until Henry had thrown it back at him without opening it.

It wasn't a journal. Journals were stupid, full of useless thoughts petty people wrote down so someone would find them later and feel sorry for them. Maybe he was being petty though—just another thing to add to his list. He wasn't even sure what the word petty meant, really…but he knew it was bad, so it was going on the list. He looked down at what he had written.

I am

-STUPID

-shallow

-good at nothing

-a loser

-ugly

-weird

He sighed, and added the word 'petty' to his list. Then he crossed off petty, because he really didn't know what it meant. Instead, he wrote 'JERK' in big bold letters. Jessica and Kim had called him that today. He wished he had a dictionary, because he couldn't think of any more words. Actually, he could think of about a hundred more things he was, but his hand was getting too cramped to write, and his pencil was getting rather stubby.

"Dinner!" He heard his mother call from downstairs, and he groaned. Just the thought of food made him feel like grabbing the waste basket and ridding himself whatever food was inside of him…which wasn't much, seeing as how he hadn't eaten in two days.

Reluctantly he made his way down the stairs into the dining room, taking a seat beside Sarah and Mark. He glanced around the table, already knowing what was on the menu. The smell of his father's chili was inevitable. It wafted up his nose and into his mouth, causing him to gag.

"Jake?" Kate stopped spooning out bowls of chili to stare at him, "Are you okay?" Everyone stared. He felt like a freak show.

"Yeah, I'm okay…but I'm uh, not feeling too great." He paused, coughing for effect, "Can I go up to my room?"

Silence. He coughed again, but not on purpose this time. Even his own throat couldn't take the silence.

"You haven't been eating much lately, are you sure you—"His mother started, but Tom cut her off.

"Go on, kid." He said with a wave of his hand, "But you'll be sorry you missed out on…" His dad gave a deranged grin, "my famous Chili!" He gave out a devious laugh, making Kim and Jessica squeal.

Jake smiled slightly before turning and walking back up the stares. The silence reigned for another few seconds before returning to the normal chaotic conversation, bowls of chili being slurped, and rolls flying through the air.

'They don't even miss me.' He thought, shutting his door loudly. No one heard it over the shouts and screams at the table. He lay down on his bed, and closed his eyes. Sleep never came.

School seemed like it would never end. Finally the clock struck 2:30, and the bell rang. Students fled out of the classrooms like they were being chased by a rabid animal. The hallways were flooded and congested as usual, so Jake took a left at the stairs. He started walking down the deserted hallway, glad to be away from all the noise. He needed to think.

"Hey!" He heard someone shout from down the hall, their voice echoing in the empty hallway, "Hey!"

Jake whirled around quickly, surprised. He had thought he was the only one who took that particular hallway after school. He turned to find the two bullies who he had gotten in a fight with that day at school standing behind him.

Craig twisted his hat on his head, a sinister smile spreading across his lips. "What's up, Jakey-boy?"

Jake frowned. This couldn't be good. "What do you want?"

The other one, Jim, cackled. "Hear that, Craig? He wants to know what we want." He laughed insanely before Craig hit him on the shoulder with a disgusted look.

"Shut up, dude." He rolled his eyes at his friend. Turning his attention back to Jake, he said, "We want a fair fight. Having all your stupid little brothers and sisters mob us isn't exactly what we call fair."

"How is it fair when it's two of you and one of me?" Jake retorted, but broke off when Jim grabbed his throat and twisted slightly. The black-clad boy eyes grew large as he struggled to breathe.

"Who cares? It's fair for us." Jim smiled cruelly as he whirled Jake into the wall behind them. It wasn't hard, considering how light he was. Jake blinked, rubbing his head. Dizzy….

He was about to attempt to stand up when Jim grabbed his arms and twisted them painfully behind his back, emitting a gasp from him. His arms burned with pain, but before he knew it, a sharp pain in his chest knocked the wind out of him. Suddenly, he realized, his arms didn't hurt so bad…not more then his stomach…

Another punch came, straight to his eye this time. He yelped, making Craig laugh and send another punch to his stomach, causing the black haired boy to double over in pain. Jim accidentally let go of his arms, giving Jake the chance to punch Craig square in the nose. Jim reached for his arms again, when—

"What is the meaning of this!" Yelled someone coming down the hall towards them. His low pitched voice and squeaky shoes gave himself away.

"Uh, hi Principle Kennedy, sir." Jim squeaked, shoving his outstretched hands in his pocket quickly.

"What happened here!" The principle yelled, in a no-nonsense tone that made Craig stand up from where he had been sitting.

"Oww, my nose! You broke it, dude!" He yelled pointing at Jake, and then looked at Principle Kennedy, "He broke my nose!"

"Jacob Baker, this is your second fighting offense at this school!" The principle yelled, "To my office, now! All of you!"

"But—"Jake started, cradling his throbbing stomach in his arms which still burned, "They started it!"

"Nonsense, I will have none of these lies, Jake!" The principle replied, "To accuse such model students as Craig and Jim off such neanderthal behavior is pure blasphemy!"

"But!—"Jake started again, and was cut off by Principle Kennedy shoving him down the hall towards his office.

Jim and Craig lagged behind, no doubt developing a story that would lead to Jake's downfall. He cringed—this wasn't going to end well.

"Well?" Principle Kennedy adjusted the shiny gold plated nametag on his desk compulsively, "Is someone going to tell me what happened?"

Kate Baker stood behind her son who was seated in a chair. Jim and Craig's parents were in the room as well, although they had been a little late. 'Golfing.' They had said, as if that was an excuse. Kate wasn't sure it was.

"I wouldn't have punched him if they hadn't punched me first." Jake mumbled, hugging his arms to his chest. They still hurt, as did his stomach.

Craig stuffed another tissue up his bloody nose, whimpering in false agony. His mother patted him on the shoulder lovingly, and glared at Jake.

"We never punched him!" Jim replied in a sad tone, his eyes moist, "We just wanted to know what he was doing after school…we just wanted to be his friend!" He broke down into mock tears, grinning through the corners of his mouth at Jake who was being glowered at by everyone.

"That's not what happened!" Jake yelled, jumping up from his seat. He felt Kate's hands on his shoulders, pushing him back down into his chair. He shrugged them away, pointing an accusing finger at Jim and Craig. "They threw me against a locker, Jim twisted my arms so I couldn't get away, and Craig punched me! The only way I could get away is to punch him!"

"Young man!" The principle shouted, pounding his fist on his desk angrily, "I have had enough of these foolish lies! Three days suspension for you, Jake Baker! I don't ever want to see you punching someone again! This meeting is over."

"What!" Jake yelled, being pulled out the doorway by his mother, "Suspended? I didn't do anything! And what do they get?" He held on to the door, "How do you think I got this black eye? Do you think I gave it to myself!"

"Jake!" Kate yelled, grabbing his arm roughly and pulling him out the door and out of the school. He shook, trying to get out of her grasp. She pushed him into the car, and slammed the door shut.

Shutting her own door and buckling her seat belt, she turned to stare at him. "What the he—"She stopped herself quickly. The situation was bad enough then to let a swear word slip. "What is wrong with you!"

"Me?" The curly haired boy said, "Me! What's wrong with me? What's wrong with everybody else!" He curled his fingers into fists, but relaxed them having nothing to punch. He settled for digging his short nails into the skin of his arm, making crescent shapes in the flesh.

Kate noticed, and swatted his hands away from his arms. "Getting in a fight with two boys at school is bad enough, and then you have to go and have an attitude in the principle's office!" She squinted her eyes, trying to regain control, "No, Jake. The question is what is wrong with you."

Jake's fingers squeezed the pink flesh on his arms again, turning them pale white. "You don't believe me! I told you what happened! They held my arms back while they punched me! Then he dropped my arms on accident, so I did the first thing I could do! I punched him!"

His mother remained quiet, eyes focused on the road. He thought he heard her counting under her breath. "So that's what's wrong with me, and I know what's wrong with you!" He didn't wait for her to answer before continuing, "You're too concerned about what everyone else thinks of us! You don't even care about me! You just care about how your reputation is shot now, because you have a stupid loser for a son!"

The car stopped, reaching its destination. Kate removed her seatbelt, still staring ahead. "You are grounded." She said slowly, "For a month." She reached for the door handle, opening and shutting the door.

Jake stared for a few second, and then screamed in a rage, "I hate you!" he slammed his car door shut, the sound vibrating in the air that had suddenly become dead silent. He didn't wait for her to retaliate, he ran inside the house.

Jake stomped up the stairs, nursing his black eye. He slammed his bedroom door shut, clicking the lock into place. He ignored the angry yelling of his mother outside his room. He kicked the door once, making her shout even louder and definitely more colorfully.

He kicked a stack of papers beside his dresser, old art assignments of his that hand hung on the refrigerator until others took their place. The loose papers flew about his room, one landing at his feet. It was a picture of his family and he, all smiling and looking quite content. He picked it up, tearing it into little shreds and letting them fall to the tan carpet.

He could still hear Kate yelling outside his door, and it sounded like Charlie had joined him. It was a good thing his dad wasn't home, Jake realized while staring out his window, because he would have either found a way to break the door down or have bungee jumped from the roof into his window. God, he had a crazy family.

He found another drawing lying on his skateboard resting beside his bed. A crude drawing of his mother and he, hugging and full of smiles, stared back at him. The coloring was awful, as was the drawing in entirely. He remembered that particular drawing—he had done it when he was about six or seven.

'But she doesn't love me anymore.' Jake reasoned with himself, 'Or else she would have listened to me!' With that thought bouncing in his head, he stepped on the paper, tearing it in half. He grabbed his skateboard and, in a moment of complete impulse, threw it against the wall. It cracked in half, but didn't break entirely. Still not thinking of the consequences, he continued pounding the skateboard against the wall, grunting in frustration every time it resisted a chip or a crack.

"I hate you!" He yelled at it, deciding to take his anger out on the defenseless skateboard. He went to hit it against the wall again, but missed and instead hit his fist against the wall, adding to the large dent already made from the impact of the skateboard. He instantly recoiled in pain, throwing a piece of his skateboard to the other side of the room where it hit off the wall and cluttered to the ground.

Jake started kicking the wall in retaliation for hurting his fist when he heard the lock on his door jiggling. He stopped short, hearing muttered whispers from outside the door. Someone was messing with the lock, probably with a pin—which meant that someone would be in there soon…and someone would not be happy. Just as the door was being barged open, Jake threw his weight up against the door—which wasn't very much—in order to keep it closed. "Leave me alone!" He yelled at the person opening the door.

"Jacob Zachary Baker, open this door right now!" He heard his mother yell with an authoritive voice, indicating she was both worried and greatly angered by whatever was happening in his room.

"I said, go away!" Jake yelled again, pushing with all his might to keep the door closed. But it was a useless attempt, as his skinny legs were already sliding across the floor as the door was forcefully opened.

Kate, Lorraine, Charlie, and Sarah stood in his doorway. His mother had her arms folded and a blazing look in her eyes. Lorraine and Charlie looked a bit confused, but their faces clearly read, 'You're dead meat. Mom's pissed beyond words.' Sarah cringed as Jake took off running down the stairs, and she soon followed after.

Gah. Finally done! PLEASE review, reviews make my day! (Gosh this annoys me...no indent!)