A/N: Far from my best, I'm a little rusty to be honest. First Heroes fic though, gotta mean something.
Pairings: Peter/Garbiel (Sylar)
Disclaimer: Nothing is mine.
Sometimes Peter hated himself for what he had done, what he was still doing and would never stop doing. He hated himself for forgiving Gabriel, and how he could even bear to call him Gabriel after he had murdered his brother. He argued with himself relentlessly, over and over again until his head felt ready to explode.
It wasn't him was it? It was the bloodlust. Sylar. Not Gabriel, never Gabriel.
Yet...aren't they one and the same?
No, Sylar was evil and Gabriel, well Garibel was a hero. He'd proven that in the end.
Peter knew that he was getting closer to insanity each time he thought about it but he couldn't stop. It was almost as if he had to do it. Guilt swamping through him with every breath he took, overwhelming him after every kiss. His mind shrieking wrong wrong wrong while his heart beat back the opposite view with just as much force. It was tearing him apart. He often wondered if people could see it. Gabriel always acted like he thought he would break any moment.
Peter often just wanted to break Gabriel instead.
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Every now and then Gabriel was scared of Peter.
There were moments he would be fine; serious and thoughtful but loving at the same time, but there were also the moments where Peter would snap at him angrily for no reason, eyes flashing with something akin to hate before storming off to brood alone in a darkened room. It was at these times that Gabriel became afraid and doubted his lover. Sometimes he honestly thought that Peter would attack him and Gabriel knew he would never fight back unless the other man went too far. He didn't want Sylar using the violence to return, and he could always feel him there on the edge of his thoughts, waiting to come back like a viscious infection.
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If Claire ever came to visit, she would always make sure to check Gabriel wasn't hurt without being noticed. At first it had been the other way round; she had worried about Peter. After all, Gabriel Gray was Sylar - insane mass murderer. Yet it hadn't taken her long to realise Peter didn't need her concern. Gabriel was not Sylar at all. He was someone else entirely, a whole new personality in the killer's body.
Peter, however, had also changed and not for the better. He'd become moody, easily annoyed and Claire couldn't help but notice how Gabriel flinched whenever Peter said something without warning. She'd never seen a mark on him, but she often suspected.
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When Nathan looked down at his brother from the afterlife he always wept.
He wept for many reasons; sorrow at how much Peter had changed, anger at his mother for deserting her only living child but what made Nathan cry the most was something he never would have thought possible.
He wept for the man that killed him and Peter was slowing destroying.
Nathan wept for Gabriel Gray.