A/N: Okay...this is crackish, if not complete crack. :D I'm assuming that Xingese is the same as Chinese, because it sure looks that way! Enjoy!

Disclaimer: I own nothing, not even the wine...which is good, because I'm underage! ^^`

Ling happily finished his umpteenth serving of dinner and licked his lips with a sound of satisfaction. Ed slowly placed his last bite in his mouth and hoped that he'd brought enough money to pay for all that food. He glanced at Al, who merely shrugged. Ed would probably have to do his State Alchemist thing…again.

"You know," Ling suddenly spoke up, " 'Ling' in Xingese can mean 'zero.'"

"No kidding," muttered Ed. "You're definitely worth nothing."

"Brother!" Al admonished. "Be nice to the illegal immigrant!" Ed rolled his eyes but said nothing more.

"And 'yao' is another word for 'waist,'" Ling continued. He motioned to his abdomen to emphasize what he was saying.

"Uh huh, a waste of oxygen," Ed said to himself. Al looked at him. "What? I said, 'We're wasting oxygen here!' We should…um…get going." Al didn't buy it. Ed pretended he did.

"So basically, my name can mean 'zero waist!'" Ling flapped his arms in an attempt to convey just how revolutionary his epiphany was.

Ed raised an eyebrow, then cautiously leaned forward to sniff the remnants of the liquid in Ling's cup.

"…" Ed's eye twitched.

Ling let out a high-pitched giggle.

"What is it, Brother?" Al asked anxiously, wishing he could smell as well.

"…Ling…YOU'RE WAY UNDERAGE!!!!! FIFTEEN-YEAR-OLDS DO NOT DRINK WINE!!!!!!!" Ed exploded. And wine was very expensive.

Al gasped. "But I thought it was juice!"

"…Did you have something to do with this, Al?"

"Well, Ling asked if he could have the purple drink, and I wanted to be nice and—"

"See Al?" Ed tapped his brother's armor. "That's why we're not nice to illegal immigrants."

"…You were the one who agreed to buy him dinner, Brother."

"…That's besides the point!" Ed searched for another subject. His eyes lit up and he turned to Ling. "Hey, Ling, can I ask you something?"

Ling hiccupped. "Ask—hic—away—hic!"

"How do you say 'useless' in Xingese?"

"Um…one way to say it is… 'mei yong.'"

" Mei yong…Mustang…close enough!" Ed decided. He shot up and ran out the door, Al following close behind. "Hey Colonel! Guess what your name means in Xingese!"

And for once, Ling had to pay the check.

Okay, if you haven't guessed it by now, I'm Chinese. I'm currently in China right now, and I got the idea while listening to the radio in a taxi :) Read and review? :D