Author Notes: This HumorFic was written out of pure boredom, during a Computers Lesson. Don't take any of it seriously – all of the characters were randomally chosen, as well as their actions. Have fun reading, and don't forget to review!
Oh, and of course, everything belongs to Jo. I just love playing with it.
***
Confunded world
Fred and George's shop was not crowded as it is usually during the summer. Considering the late hour, though, it wasn't surprising at all. Anyway, the only occupants of the room were Ron and Hermione. Oh, well, and Harry.
"Again, where have they gone?"
"Hmmm... I don't really remember," Ron muttered, too busy watching Hermione to pay any attention.
Harry frowned. His friends seemed to be stuck in the same place they were two years ago, on Dumbledore's funeral. That's to say: no change in their weird behavior in the forthcoming future. And it irritated him.
"Confunded world," he muttered.
***
Hermione picked up a small box, watching it curiously. "What is it?"
"Hermione?" Harry looked at her, trying to suppress his laughter. "Are you okay?"
"Why wouldn't I be?" she said, opening the bright pink box in her hand.
"It's... It's Fred and George's Love Potion," he said, chuckling.
"So what?" she responded, out of focus.
His jaw fell when she went straight to Ron and kissed him on the mouth. Ron answered the kiss.
Harry closed his eyes, wishing to open them and find it to be a dream. But it wasn't, and he couldn't stop his laughter anymore.
***
Strange noises came from somewhere underneath them. Ron and Hermione were startled, realising Harry had been there all this time.
"Fred and George are going to kill me," mumbled Ron. "Can't even keep their shop whole for an hour…."
"Let's go and check it out," Hermione suggested.
Wands out, they crept across the shop toward the back room and the hidden staircase. The voices grew louder as they approached the lower floor. When they reached the door, they recognized the voices.
"You are just like the old toad!" shouted Firenze.
"How DARE you compare ME to that... Umbridge?!" raged McGonagall.
***
"LET'S THINK, WOMAN!"
"I BEG YOUR PARDON?"
"WHO CALLED WHO BEAST?"
"AND WHO PUSHED WHO WHILE GETTING DOWNSTAIRS?"
"AND WHO MUTTERED ABOUT HALF-BREEDS?"
"Shall we enter and stop it?" asked Hermione, frightened.
"We better do," said Harry. "They might come to kill each other…."
"Alohomora!"
The door opened to reveal a small room that contained nothing but its four stone walls. On one side of the room, stood Firenze, holding his bow ready to attack. On the other side, stood Minerva McGonagall, her wand drawn. They both froze when the trio entered.
"We indeed came in time," muttered Ron darkly.
***
"What are you doing here?" asked Professor McGonagall abruptly.
"Honestly, Minerva, I think we should ask that," responded Hermione as calmly as she could, before her friends would get the time to do anything stupid. "After all, you are inside Fred and Goerge's shop, more correctly, under it."
"Yeah, well…" stutterred McGonagall.
"Back to business," said Firenze impatiently. "Will you duel with me, you coward woman?"
"I am NOT coward!" wrathed McGonagall. "Avada Kedavra!"
The green jet was fired before anyone could say "stupefy", and a second later, Firenze's body hit the floor.
"What did you-"
She had already apparated.
***
"Come on, let's bury him," said Ron nervously.
"Bury him? Are you mad?" enquired Hermione.
"But we can't let him stay here like that!" Ron was shocked.
Harry added, "Don't tell me you are going to report McGonagall to the Ministry."
"No, of course not!" she said, looking surprised from Harry's thought.
"So what do you-"
"Evanesco!"
Harry and Ron stared at her, unable to speak.
"What?" she demanded.
"It's so unlike you, Hermione," laughed Harry. Ron joined his unappropriate laughter, and they continued laughing until they both panted for breath. Hermione merely waited them to stop their hysterical reaction.
***
"Back to yourselves?" Hermione asked. "We left the shop empty for too long…."
Harry and Ron looked at each other, trying to remember what she was talking about.
"The shop!" Ron jumped and ran upstairs. Harry and Hermione followed.
Fortunately, the room seemed undisturbed. The only thing that was not in place was the potion box Hermione had opened earlier. Embarassed, Harry hurried to put it back to its place before any of his friends noticed. Not that he mind the sudden heat in his two best friends' relationship, but he would've preferred them to show their affection somewhere else….
***
The minutes passed. His clock indicated that there were only a few hours till sunrise.
"What was the twins' idea, make us stay here all night?" Harry mumbled to no one in particular. He yawned, trying to focus on his surroundings. No one answered his targetless question. To his horror, he saw his friends lying one on the top of the other, on a Conjured sofa.
I must be hallucinating.
A loud crack, and he found himself face to face with Uncle Vernon. Strangely, he didn't seem to notice him at all.
The hallucination continues, he was sure of that.
***
Looking backward, ready to meet any other odd thing the night might bring, he saw the familiar tomato shaped nose of Winky.
"So you see," she said, apparently to Uncle Vernon (who was unnaturally calm for being in no other place than a magical one, talking to a creature he had never believed to exist), "Master Crouch always said that the only way to defeat the darkness is by using it; so teaching Defence Against Dark Arts is completely useless. It's better teaching using it for the right purpose."
"No, I think he is completely wrong," Uncle Vernon answered civilly.
***
Harry didn't have time to digest what he had seen, and they were gone with another crack. He blinked, trying to decide weather or not his eyes played a trick on him, when he heard Ron saying in disbelief, "Harry, did you see that? Your uncle was here!"
"Well, that was a very strange night, don't you think?" Hermione added lightly.
"Wish it'd be normal again…." Harry muttered, and suddenly felt like the world had changed.
Hermione jumped from the sofa. "Oh, gosh, what did I do? Ron, I am so sorry!"
"It's okay, I love you too…."
"Confunded world…."