Author's Note: This story marks the beginning of an outpouring of all the Hogan's Heroes fan-fiction I've written to date. They'll come in pairs every couple days or weeks. As with the pieces I posted before, these are my 'experimental' stories that I'm using to locate flaws and weaknesses in my writing style. That being said, reviews and comments are welcomed and immensely appreciated! If you loved the story, tell me. If you thought it could use some work, tell me. If you thought it sounded like something written by an under-educated twelve-year-old on a sugar high, tell me. Feedback is how I learn!
Disclaimer: I do not own any of the original Hogan's Heroes characters. My compliments to whoever created and/or owns them.
Everyone Does
"Of all the airheaded, half-baked, rash things I've ever seen, that one's gotta take a prize!" Colonel Hogan's angry voice bounced off the tunnel walls and echoed clearly from the tunnel's forest entrance.
Kinch could hear it plainly from the radio room. He looked down the dark tunnel in surprise. "Sounds like one of the guys really messed it up this time." He thought.
"Do you realize you could've gotten yourself killed? Not to mention putting the entire mission and the entire operation at risk!" The tirade continued. "Contrary to what you may think, you're not some comic-strip superhero! You can't do everything! And thinking you can almost made a lot of trouble! What were you thinking?"
The answer was too low for Kinch to hear.
"The problem was you weren't thinking!" The colonel's voice came again. "And if you don't start showing some common sense, you won't live long enough to regret it!" Footsteps sounded and Colonel Hogan stomped into the radio room.
"Bad day?" Kinch asked mildly.
"That girl!" Hogan said angrily. "Someday she's going to be the death of me Kinch!" Without a further word, the officer turned and stormed up the ladder into the barracks above. Kinch heard a door slam.
More shuffling noises came from the tunnel. Newkirk and LeBeau also emerged from the darkness and climbed the ladder without a word. Kinch watched them go up, now thoroughly confused and curious. An answer soon presented itself in form of Angel, who limped down the corridor last.
Her clothes were muddy and her face bore the beginnings of a couple of bruises. Dried blood flecked the corner of her mouth and she was rubbing her shoulder. The scowl on her face made the average Gestapo agent look friendly.
"What happened?" Kinch questioned in concern.
"I got into a fight." Angel said crossly. "And before you ask, I'm fine." She sounded like a petulant child who had been scolded for something and was mad about it.
"I can see that." Kinch said calmly. Silence reigned for a few moments. "So are you going to tell me about it or leave me in the dark here?"
"No pun intended, seeing as you spent the whole afternoon underground." Angel said acidly.
Kinch raised an eyebrow. Angel got acerbic when she was mad, but he knew that if he gave her enough time she'd eventually give in.
True to his predictions, Angel sighed after a minute and explained further. "I got into a fight with a German soldier."
"That probably wasn't the best idea." Kinch was careful to keep his voice neutral.
Angel glared at him. "So I've been told. I was supposed to watch the back while Colonel Hogan and Newkirk went in to talk to this Underground contact. Well, while I was waiting, this guy comes along and starts talking to me. You know my German isn't that great, but I could understand most of it. He must've just gotten back from a Nazi pep talk or something 'cause it was nothing but propaganda for five solid minutes. Even if I could speak German like a native, I wouldn't have been able to get a word in edgewise!"
"That's how they are." Kinch shrugged. "You gotta learn to tune them out."
There was a scraping sound from above and LeBeau slowly descended, holding a towel-wrapped chunk of ice that had survived the spring thaw so far. "This should help with the bruises." He said, holding the ice out to Angel.
Angel took the freezing scrap of cloth gratefully. "Thanks LeBeau." She said, holding the ice against a particularly warm spot on her jaw.
Instead of leaving, the Frenchman leaned his elbows against the battered table and listened in on the conversation.
"So what happened?" Kinch asked Angel.
Angel removed the ice for a moment. "I was smiling and nodding in all the right places like any good little spy would do. Then he went off into how they were capturing the world and going to purify the human race and all that junk. I tell you, there is a point where you can't smile and nod anymore without violating your conscience! So I argued. And then he got mad and yelled at me. I think he might have been a little drunk. But I was mad too, so I yelled back. And then he took a swing at me. At that point, I was glad for the excuse because I was ready to pound him into the ground!" Angel's voice had been rising and now she smashed her fist into her palm in a show of violent exuberance.
Kinch leaned back in his chair and stared at her evenly. "And did you?"
Angel's temper cooled off a little bit and she deflated. "No. He pounded me into the ground."
"After all that noise about girls being able to fight?" Kinch teased her, referring to her outburst at Hogan when he had inferred that Battling Bruno had to fight girls in order to win.
Angel winced. "Another moment when I should have kept my mouth shut." She had lashed out in the spirit of the moment and had since regretted it.
"If he was pounding you into the ground, how come you're here now?" Kinch turned the conversation back to her story.
"Well, it wasn't all one sided." Angel said. "I had the advantage of surprise because I did hit him back and I left my own marks. I can fight. I'm just not strong enough to win in a straight-out brawl, apparently. So I ended up on the ground with him trying to twist my arm off when Newkirk hit him in the back of the neck with his gun barrel."
"Out cold?"
"Oh yeah. That definitely put him out of action. But…" Angel lowered her head and looked guilty. "He knew my face, so Colonel Hogan said we'd have to ship him out of the country."
"That does explain why he was so fired up." Kinch said thoughtfully. "If there had been witnesses, you'd have been marked as a troublemaker and pretty much useless to this operation."
"Not to mention if you had been seriously hurt or even killed." LeBeau spoke up for the first time.
"Or thrown into jail and questioned. Or drawn too much attention to an Underground meeting." Angel began to see through her own biased point of view, but she wasn't willing to give up yet. "Still, I just couldn't take it anymore! The guy was a creep who made war on kids and innocents, not to mention my country! Someone had to teach him a lesson!"
"Angel." LeBeau said very seriously. "Even I would not do what you did. And I am French!"
"He's got a point there." Kinch agreed.
"Although if had been a different time and a different place, that Kraut would've learned to regret his words." LeBeau continued fiercely. "Vive la France!"
Kinch frowned at him. "The point is…"
"That what I did was foolish and put myself and everyone else in a lot of unnecessary danger." Angel interrupted. She sighed. Now that her head had sufficiently cooled down, she was ashamed of her actions and attitude. "Boy, was that ever a dimwitted thing to do."
"I can't disagree with you there." Kinch said, turning back to his radio.
"I suppose I should go apologize to the colonel." Angel grimaced. "If he stops yelling at me long enough to listen. I guess I deserve getting chewed out though."
"Don't worry, mon ami." LeBeau reassured her. "Colonel Hogan does not hold grudges."
Angel sighed again. "Well, on to the bear's cave then. The Papa Bear's cave, that is." She headed for the ladder.
"Hey Angel." Kinch called.
She stopped and turned to look at him questioningly.
"Did you land a couple of good ones?" The radioman asked with a mischievous grin.
Angel smiled. "Enough to make me feel better. And I'm pretty sure I flattened his nose."
Kinch flashed her a thumbs-up which she returned before scooting up the ladder. Angel popped into the barracks and vaulted over the bunk-bed frame. She considered what had to be done as she tapped the panel to close the trap door.
"Hey Newkirk." Angel stepped onto Carter's bunk and pulled herself up so she was at eye-level with the Englander, who was flipping through a well-worn magazine. His blue eyes rose to meet hers as she rested her chin on the edge of the bunk.
"Thanks for pulling me out of that scrape today." She said quietly.
Newkirk's face broke into a wide grin. "No problem mate. Though if I were you, I'd go an' tell the colonel that too."
"On my way over there now." Angel returned the grin and dropped off the bunk as Newkirk playfully flicked the bill of her cap. With a lighter heart and a surer step, she approached the door to the senior POW's office and knocked.
"Come in." Hogan's voice answered.
With a deep breath, Angel opened the door and entered the room, closing the thin wooden barrier behind her softly. Colonel Hogan was seated at his beat up desk, but he twisted to see who his visitor was. Upon seeing Angel, he turned his chair around and faced her with his arms crossed.
"Colonel, my conduct on the last mission was inexcusable." Angel began, looking Hogan straight in the eye. "I endangered myself, my team and the operation. I wasted time and manpower. I apologize for my actions." She paused. "And my attitude afterwards was pretty rotten too. I'm sorry." The last phrases was delivered with heartfelt remorse and meekness.
Hogan eyed her sternly for a moment. "Apology accepted. But next time you have an urge to beat up a German officer…" He cracked a smile. "Do it in the woods and wait for the rest of us."
Angel breathed a sigh of relief. LeBeau was right- the colonel didn't hold grudges. It was done and over. "I think I can do that from now on. This time, though, I just really messed up."
Hogan shrugged. He recognized Angel's genuine penitence and willingness to learn from her mistakes. "At one time or another… Everyone does."