Blink
Prologue
"You keep your eyes closed to block out the hardships, the pain, the unwanted; but in that, the true beauty of the world is lost, because you refuse to open your eyes."
~ Anonymous
X
The Tuscan sunset is ablaze across the horizon, but try as she might, Bella is unable to focus on its beauty. Her shoulders are hunched as she sits on the edge of the tile roof, staring blankly into the radiant glow. She's lost in thought and lost in time as minutes trickle by. Her unbeating heart is heavy, thickened with an indescribably numbing pain. There is no sharp stabbing grief, only a persistent ache, almost a fear. She has never been so uncertain. So unsure. So hopeless.
"Bella?" he whispers. She turns to him. Looks him dead in the eyes and tries not to jump at the cruel beauty of his tormented face. "Bella, what is it? You know you can tell me anything."
"But that's just it, isn't it?" she whispers back. Her hand is grabbing the tile hard and she can feel it crumbling to dust beneath her fingers. "That's just it. You're stuck with me forever. And I know you don't hate me, but now – well, now I'm here and you have to listen, have to deal with me. Have to teach me, guide me, put up with every little thing I do. You're stuck with me. Stuck with me until the stars blink out." Her voice is like ash, pure and dry. She's trying to put on her best show, working her poker face despite her blunt, dangerous words. She's afraid to show to weakness and terrified of opening a crack for others to leverage. She won't, can't, survive being shattered to pieces. Not again.
"Bella, my Isabella. That's not how I feel. I don't feel stuck. At all. Why are you thinking like this, telling me this? Why now? Please tell me, I swear I wantto know." His face is dark with sorrow and she honestly finds herself surprised. She wants to believe him. Wants to believe in him. To believe in anyone again. It's too hard, she thinks, throwing herself into inner dialogue. But nothing worthy will ever come easily. Just do it, Bella. Don't you want to be happy again? She sucks an unnecessary breath in and moves her lips to speak.
"It's just that sometimes... sometimes you get this look in your eyes. You get this sad face, the saddest face I've ever seen. It's far away and vacant and it makes me feel like I'm suffocating. I feel like someone's swiped my feet out from under me and torn my heart out and I've only just looked down and noticed. I know you regret changing me, I get it, I really do. You say you don't feel stuck but I get it. I – "
"No Bella. No," he cries, tears caught eternally in his wild ice and fire eyes, his entire body trembling with the weight of the world. "Not regret, christ, never regret. I just – I don't know how to say this. I love you. I love you unlike I've ever know to exist. I love you like the sun on the most brilliant mornings. I love you until my throat constricts, until I'm being crushed by just the idea of you, your face. Do you get that? How much you are to me? I swear it's like I'm the first and only man to ever love, because this is greater than anything I've known or seen. I love you and I want to give up – no, I've already given up everything I've ever known to be with you. And I'm not afraid of that, but I am afraid, because how could this ever work? He's out there somewhere and I just wonder. I mean, I know what I said last night but I've thought about it and there's no way he wasn't, isn't still, in love with you. And that would mean you're his mate, whether or not he's yours in return. Though I've never heard of such a thing... Never. God Bella, tell me this can work. Tell me it will work even when he's still out there somewhere. Tell me. Oh God, please. Please Bella, you're all I've got. Tell me it'll work."
X
So I'm posting this prologue after having posted the first chapter, sorry! I thought this might get people more interested, but also show where this romance is headed (although this bit is NOT the ending of the story).
Please review dear people; it would be much appreciated!
As always, thanks a billion for reading.
~ archerNexus