Out of nowhere,
you realize it's different music playing now.
'Cause one minute goes fast.
Kelly Clarkson - "One Minute"
When I thought I knew what love was, I was dead wrong. I knew what lust was, but lust never lasts, you can never lust after someone forever. But you can certainly love someone forever.
I knew I loved her, and I knew it was going to take a lot to go back to normal ever since that kiss.
The greatest things always happen in a blink of an eye. I forgot almost everything leading up until she kissed me. It's like she made me forget all my fears, all my worries everything but her, which is okay because from now on I'm dedicating myself to her.
I remember that she was supposed to meet me after school, so we could go shopping. I waited for an hour until I realized she wasn't going to show. I sulked all the way home before throwing myself on my bed, thinking that somethings got to be up, she just wouldn't forget.
I called her. She did forget me. She said all excitedly when I asked her where she was that she was on a date.
"Did you forget?" I asked quietly.
"Forget what?" She asked rather confused but still in an excited tone. I lifted the phone off my ear and looked at it before my breathing stopped.
"Miley? Forget what?" She never forgets.
"That we were supposed to go shopping." I said through clenched teeth. There was a moment of silence before I heard her laugh in the background.
"S-sorry, what did you say?" She asked in between bouts of laughter. I let out my breath in a whoosh, sounding like an exasperated sigh.
"That we were supposed to go shopping!" I practically screamed in the phone before hanging up. I stood at the counter, staring at my phone for 2 minutes, breathing heavily as anger rushed through me. The phone rang again. I pushed ignore, before running upstairs.
I wouldn't necessarily say I had a bad day; it was more eventful with that one bad grade I got in history. So I was looking forward to having a fantastic time with Lilly. I should've noticed then, when she acted so distracted when I asked her to the mall, what was up. But I didn't, so I waited around for an hour before I even knew she had a date. I'm not quite sure what made me madder, the fact that she didn't tell me, the fact that she forgot or the fact that she actually had a date.
But of course, as I look at her sleeping form, I know the answer to that. It's in this order, the fact that she actually had a date, then the fact that she forgot about me. Because it was always about her. It just took a little slap in the back of my head to jar it out of my brain. I sit down on the window seat, a smile stretching from ear to ear just thinking about her. I look outside at the moon, accentuating this perfect night.
I bury my face into my pillow, putting one hand over my stomach and the other squishing the pillow against my face as I start sobbing. I think it was because I had such a lonely day, that being ignore from Lilly made me feel like a totally flattened bug under a random hobo's worn and torn shoe. Jackson and Dad aren't even here to vent my problems too.
I curse myself as I hear the doorknob slowly turn, followed by a discreet, slow opening of the door. Then I hear silence, but I know whoever is at the door is watching me and I curl more into myself, raking my nails over my skin as another sob escapes me.
I hear the springs and I feel the bed slowly shift as another weight sat on it. It has to be my dad; he sometimes waits until I'm looking at him before he gives a peppy talk.
This is one of the nights where I just want to be left alone. Yeah, I'd like someone to confide in, but I don't really know how to confide, so I'd rather just lie here until my eyes start burning from tears and I'm so exhausted from crying, I'll just fall asleep.
"Please…" I pause as I suck in a shuddering breath. "I just want to be left alone." I want to laugh at myself, but it just comes out as another sob. Wasn't I just explaining how lonely I am? Yeah, well when your lonely, you hate mostly everyone in the world, so it would be better if I'd just calm down and wake up happier.
"I don't really want to leave you alone." Comes the soft whisper of the voice I least expected… okay not least, Oliver would have been the least. My eyes shoot open, but she doesn't see that as my face is buried in my pillow. "Miley, I'm so sorry. I totally forgot." I feel her start running her hands through my hair but I sit up and move my away from her, backing into my headboard. I wrap my arms around my legs and glare at her.
"Yeah. I noticed." I said icily but my ice melted into a pool of room temperature water at the look on her face and if she apologized next, I knew I would forgive her. She stood up again, and walked over to me, leaning over the bed until her face was an inch away from mine.
"I'm sorry. I would've much rather have gone shopping with you. The asshole tried to kiss me… actually he forced his lips on mine until I kneed him in the balls." I sighed, rolling my eyes. "But I am sorry." Then I actually looked at her, and had to hold back a gasp because as I looked at her, her lips became one with mine. 3 seconds later, I was kissing her back. Then she pulled back, smiling wide.
"I knew it." She whispered softly. I slowly moved off the bed, my mouth hanging open, my eyes wide. She just stood up straight, crossing her arms, keeping her gaze on me and a huge smile on her face.
"You… I… we." Is all I said, just staring back at her. Then I put my hands in my hair, tugging them through it viciously, before spinning around in a circle and pointing at her. "WE!" I just yelled at her and if it was even possible, which it had to be, because it happened, her smile grew larger but she stayed planted on the other side of the bed, arms still crossed.
All it took for me to realize what her last statement meant was to replay the kiss in my head. I closed my eyes and gulped. Then replayed the kiss in my head. I brought two shaky fingers to my lips, softly touching them. Then replayed the kiss in my head. I backed up until I found the window seat. Then replayed the kiss in my head. I crossed my arms over my chest, gripping the collar of my shirt with one hand and grabbing a handful of the material over my stomach with the other hand.
Then I replayed the kiss in my head.
My eyes snapped open and I looked at her, she was still standing on the opposite side of my bed, smirking.
Then I replayed the kiss in my head and it hit me last replay, but this time it took effect. I found a smile slowly forming on my lips and I was staring at her. She uncrossed her arms and started moving towards me. I just watched her, a smile on my lips. I was gripping the edge of my seat, my knuckles turning whiter from strain each step she took. She took each of my hands, taking a second to pry my fingers lose before bending down on the balls of her feet, putting our hands in my lap.
"We have a lot to talk about." I just nodded my head, still staring into her eyes. Then I let my breath out in a whoosh. I took one of my hands out of hers, and then lightly slapped her in the arm.
"Like how it took only one minute, to see something completely different in you, completely different in me?" She nodded. "One minute Lilly, and not only did you make my heart leap out of my chest…that kiss… was the best… Lilly… I… oh my." She sat down next to me, lying her head on my shoulder; I put my head on her head.
"Miley, I need you." Is all she said. We sat in silence for at least 10 minutes, my hands in hers, my head on hers. She picked her head up, looking at me before pulling one of her hands out of mine and laying it on my cheek. She reached up and put her lips on mine.
This time it was automatic. I kissed her back right away. Our hands separated, finding different spots on our bodies. Our bodies turned towards each other, until hers was pressed fully against mine when mine was pressed fully against the wall. I had both of my hands in the middle of her lower back. She had both of hers on my cheeks.
When we broke apart we were gasping for air, foreheads against each other. I stood up and held out my hand.
"We should probably get talking."
We didn't talk about the kiss or kisses. We talked about her date. She told me in the process of kneeing him, how she randomly thought of how much she'd rather be kissing me. She was in the process of leaving when he forced a kiss on her. We both agreed on how right it felt to be with each other. She asked me why I was crying, and I told her it was because I felt lonely. Then I smiled and said, 'and now I know why I was so lonely.' Then we just talked, our laughter filling the room. My dad walks in, 'Lilly, isn't it a little late?' I asked him if she could stay, he said yeah. Then I got up, got her pajamas and we changed in separate room. Then the bed became a problem, we stood looking at it in awkward silence before we looked at each other, before both pulling back the covers and climbing. I don't know how, but we somehow got close to each other. Our bodies somehow moving until the entire sides of us were touching, I felt her hand next to mine, so I reached out for it, turning to look at her face as I did.
It was like going in slow motion. I was staring into her eyes, she was staring into mine. I put my hand over hers and I felt hers turn around, lacing her fingers with mine. We both smiled simultaneously. It felt so right. Then she was moving, still staring into my eyes as she turned onto her side.
"May…" But she trailed off, turning her gaze to something behind my head. I moved closer to her.
"I'd love if you held me." She smiled before looking at me again. She put her free arm across my stomach; laying her head on the same pillow I had my head on. I closed my eyes; cherishing each breath I felt her breath out.
"Miley?" I turned my gaze away from the window, a wide smile still on my face. I looked at her. She was so cute. It didn't take long to realize I loved her. It didn't take long to realize why I loved her. It only took this little time to calm down from something happening so quickly.
In just a space of a few hours, we confessed everything, kissed twice and fell asleep together.
But it felt so perfect.
I just watched her get out of bed and cautiously walk towards me.
"I find this a little overwhelming. We haven't even been together for a day and already I'm thinking I want to be with you forever." She stopped walking when I started talking. I stood up and walked over to her. "I've been watching you sleep. I've never watched you sleep and I wonder why not? It's one of the most adorable things I've ever witnessed." I wrapped my arms around her waist; burying my face in her neck I felt her tense up, before she started running her hands through my hair. "Lilly. What you said early, do you mean it. Do you really need me?"
"Yes." I felt something run through my body, something new and wonderful as she whispered that single word in my ear.
I think you'd call it passion.