-All characters, all previous plot lines, all unoriginality herein does not belong to me-

Please enjoy the story and don't forget to review! ^_^

I'm Zack Fair. SOLDIER 1st Class. I live in a small apartment complex near the southern side of Sector 5 with my dog, Taki. I have an X shaped scar on my left cheek, bear a slight weakness for beautiful women, motorcycles and high risk combat situations, and I haven't spoken to my parents in years.

But all this information pales to the fact that right now, I have a seriously distracting wedgie crawling it's way up my ass.

"What the hell are you doing, Fair!"

Standing spread eagle on the back of this rabid Zu, I'm having a difficult time finding the proper balance with three inches of cloth shoved between my butt cheeks. With my sword stuck into the right shoulder blade of the poor flying creature, my only option is to use it for balance while I try to fix myself right again. This would be fine if it wasn't messing up my battle plan and making me look like a complete moron in front of the one and only-

"Lightning, ergh... hold on a sec I just gotta-"

The beast jerks, knocking me further off balance and causing my blade to come loose and fall heavy on the ground, with myself still clutching the hilt. I look up at the sky and thank the forces of gravity for always being there for me, again and again and again.

"Oh for fuck's sake, Fair!"

Then there's Lightning, fellow 1st Class SOLDIER and leader of the current Serial mission, leaning over me with a scowl. I half expect her to tell me she was right in wanting to go solo two hours ago; when we rode out to our assigned locations, equipped and ready to take on the world. That was the first time I ever saw her face to face. The first time I ever saw her scowl, disappointed, or stare me down with those cold blue eyes. It only takes one glare from those eyes- one jaw clench in my direction- to remind me that I'm being judged every second of the way.

"There was something...you know, wedgie." I say awkwardly, pushing myself out of the sand. "Sorry, had to get it out"

"Next time it'll be my boot up your ass. Get. Up."

Her sword spring loaded from its hold as she charged, launching herself into the air with female agility. Her knee came down just below the wound I'd inflicted in its' shoulder and as she reached around, bringing her blade across its' throat, the thick skin tore open and stained the sand with blood. With drowned, gurgling cry the Zu fell beneath her, dead, and Lightning, standing tall and unwavering, dismounted from it's back like some sort of gold metal gymnast.

"Impressive." I said with a smirk. She ignored me and proceeded toward the poor creature's caracass.

"Here." she said, forcing the loot bag into my hand. She reached into her belt, pulling out a large, expensive looking hunting knife and slicing from the corpse a thick slab of skin along the right thigh.

"Serial number?" I said, moving next to her to read the faded scar.

"No. 61104." She said with a sigh.

"At least the mission is a success."

"Don't be stupid. We still have three more to go."

"Right..." Lightning wiped her blade clean and holstered it, turning to me with those intensly determined eyes.

"Let's move on."

"Hey! Uh.. about that.." I said to her back, running to catch up with her. "Sorry, I mean. The next one's all me." She stopped walking to spit at the ground with her hand on one hip. I smiled, scratching my neck and hoping she could overlook my lack of valor. I saw her give me a sideways glance before continuing our walk through the desert.

"Just don't let your panties get in a wad this time."

Snow's energetic laughter and exaggerated arm flailing had pie flying off his fork and all over the table. I was trying to shield my hamburger from the wreckage, knowing all too well that tomatoes don't go so well with blackberries. The other guys at our table were listening intimately to Snow's story; their eyes fixed and mouths half open in a wide grin. I wasn't listening because I'd heard this story four times already and instead contemplated throwing sesame seeds into Kunsel's gaping mouth.

"-and then she decks the old man, square between the eyes and says 'Tha's for knowin' the differ'nce!'"

At this the table of men roars with laughter, banging their fists on the stainless steel. I take another bite of my burger and smile.

"Zack!" Snow says with a punch to my arm. "Wha's the matter? First class not allowed to join in anythin' fun?" I shake my head with a grin and push him back with my finger on his forehead.

"No, dip shit, I've just heard that story four times."

"Touche."

"So I heard you went on another Serial mission." Kunsel said across the table. "What's that? Like the fifth one this week?"

"Yeah. The fiends just keep poppin' up all over the place."

"Word on the street is the Turks are investigating it. High priority. Top secret stuff."

"Oh yeah, well if it's so 'Top secret' then how the hell does a grunt like you know about it?" That was Snow, shoveling another mouthful of pie into his stomach. Kunsel puffed up defensively.

"I also heard Zack was paired with a certain... lady?" This got Snow's attention immediately while Kunsel leaned back in his chair, smiling sheepishly. Snow's entire body went from relaxed to animated in less than two seconds and I wanted to just drag him into a sound proof room before any further damage could be initiated. I decided, instead, to burrow my face behind my burger.

"Who was it Kunsel!" Snow shouted, now standing.

"Well, you know, I shouldn't really-" I cut him off with a glare, shutting him down almost instantly.

"Just drop it, dude."

"Hey.. Kunsel? Buddy? Remember that time we went to Katz's and you hand three too many Tiltzers? Hmmm?" Snow was leaning over the table, looking the poor guy straight in the eye. A flash of sudden knowledge sparked in his eyes before he blurted out-

"H-he was paired with Lightning!"

Wow, that was easy enough.

"Zaaaack!" Snow cried out like a little kid. " How could you fail to mention this man!" He was waving his arms around like a flightless bird and talking way too loud to be in the cooperate cafeteria. "Lightning! Hellooo? SOLDIER, 1st Class. No prisoners? No survivors?"

I wonder what happened between those two that night at Katz's..

Snow rambles on and on about all her amazing achievements and what and honor it was to work with her and blah blah.

I just took another bite of my burger.

Lightning isn't her real name, at least, I don't think it is. I'd never met anyone who knew her as anything else, or anyone who knew anyone who did. She made 1st Class immediately upon entering SOLDIER and is currently tops in every training exercise - even helped designed many of the advanced courses herself. Her gunblade is made of some grade S material beyond man-made capabilities and Shinra scientists are still working on solving that riddle for themselves. She has a small bit of family, somewhere, but no one knows who or where they are.

Honestly, most of this information is old news by now. She's been part of Shinra for over a year and nothing Snow has to say to me holds any interest anymore. But he still goes on and on, occasionally backed up by Kunsel's large web of knowledge, and I just finish off my burger. The other guys around the table, however, are listening intently to their ring leader in question. And if it's one thing Snow thrives on, it's an intently alert audience.

"Not only that but she's been the only SOLDIER since Genesis with the same potential fighting calibur as Sephiroth himself! "

"Yes Snow.. I know.."

"Ugh! Zaaack! How can you not care about this! And worse! Why am I just hearing about this now?" His whining cues everyone to shut up and focus on me. I look up at them with a shrug.

"Well.. honestly I don't think I made a good impression." My head lowered almost onto the table, just knowing I shouldn't look around the cafeteria for any listeners at this point. "I mean I had a momentary problem with my boxers getting stuck in my ass."

And the table exploded with fist pounding laughter all over again.

Then a new voice cuts across the noise.

"Hey Zack! We're going out for drinks tonight! You comin'?" Cloud, a nice guy and a good friend, walking across the room and coming to my rescue.

Snow opened his mouth wide, obviously about to invite himself along but was cut short by the random shoe flying straight into the back of his head. Immediately behind it came an angry blonde in a well tailored, black suit.

"Villiers! You got pie in my hair!"

Then 2nd Class SOLDIER, Snow Villiers, bounded over the table and out through the kitchen's emergency exit as Elena Houston, the well dressed, self proclaimed princess of the Turks, ran after him in close pursuit.

Katzroy's is hoppin' tonight. The air is thick with smoke and heavy with excitement. The rumbling sounds of good music, pool balls, and slamming shot glasses makes the entire room seem to sway with good, clean,inebriated cheer.

Snow slides down from the bar stool beside me with heavy eyes and a slight stagger in his step. I lift the last of my bourbon to my lips and nod at him as he sidles away and across the room to the jukebox where a cute red head is contemplating what to play next.

"You seem too sober to me, soldier." Reno says, sitting down next to me and ordering a 20oz mug of Blue Moon, like he always does. I held my glass of ice up in cheers and he clicked his tongue at me.

"Hey, get another for this man." He said motioning the bartender over with a friendly wave. The young, dark skinned man gives a nod and slides me a new glass.

"Thanks." I said, smiling and sipping some of it for Reno's benefit.

"Don't mention it." Laughter came from across the room and I turned absently to see Snow dancing with the red head, just like a drunk.

"We're close to figuring it out." Reno said with a hushed sigh. "The Serial Fiends that is. Tsung's still in the field."

Reno wasn't one to talk about work when he came to Katz's and I was taken off guard when he mentioned this now.

"Isn't that supposed to be top secret stuff?"

"Well, you know." He said with a smirk.

For about 20 minutes we sat together in silence before he finally spoke up again.

"They're getting a lot stronger." He scratched his neck with a scowl. "These hybrids..."

"I know."

"Who's to say where the next one will hit, eh?"

I noticed the bourbon start to hit me when Reno's hair became incredibly vibrant underneath the bar lighting. I lifted my head up and looked around the room one good time, feeling the weight of my skull tilting my vision. Snow wasn't dancing anymore, in fact I couldn't see him anywhere. I wasn't worried though, knowing he was probably upstairs kissing on some unlucky girl. I turned back to my friend and saw not red but pink strands of long curly hair. This made me jump a little, almost like when you feel a bug on your arm and you think it's gonna be something small like an ant but when you look down at it it's almost as big as your hand.

"Lightning!" I shouted, becoming off balance on my small stool. I reached for the counter to hold myself upright and managed to mumble something along the lines of not being afraid of bugs. Her eyebrows raised up slightly, but for the most part ignoring me completely. She orders a Cosmopolitan from the bartender, sips it twice, then turns to me with a small grin.

"What's wrong, Fair? Something stuck up your ass?"

And from the rooms above, I heard Snow laughing like a sick monkey.

The dramatic situations you find yourself in throughout your every day life tend to vary based on the choices you make. The moment I signed my name on that dotted line, giving myself into the Shinra Corp, I automatically gained about twelve hundred different possible scenarios all troublesome. All dangerous. Don't get me wrong, I love being in SOLDIER.

Everything about it gets my blood pumping.

So ten minutes after waking up on the floor of my apartment, half past noon, I got a call from the director asking me to come in for an assignment. Snow and I made it back to headquarters in little over half an hour and the bullet train ride into the city was just long enough for us to change into our official uniforms.

"Never been on a mission like this before." Snow said, pulling his gloves on and cracking his knuckles.

"It's nothing too special." I say, watching out the window at the dark tunnel lights. "As SOLDIER we're ordered to do a lot of dirty work. Luckily this time it's apprehension only."

"No search and destroy?" Snow said with a laugh. The corners of his eyes wrinkled with excitement. I shook my head with a smile and pulled my belt tight.

"People aren't fiends, Snow, no matter what Shinra tells you."

The building was quiet for the most part. A few friendly receptionists graced our presence with a smile. A lonesome janitor scrubbed the displays. Snow pushed the button for the elevator, winking at one of the girls. Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed her hide her face in what I assumed was a blush. I started to wonder if Snow only flirted to boost the egos of the women around him. Then I figured he was really just that horny all the time.

"Will we be going in together?" Snow asked, following me into the elevator.

"Probably." I said with a nod. He let out a heavy sigh, clearly showing some much needed relief.

"You know.. I've never been on a first class mission before either."

"Don't be nervous, man. I'm 'll be fine."

"Yeah." He smiled and clamped his hand behind my neck. "Yeah, thanks."

We rode the elevator the rest of the way in silence. Snow was clearly tense, not unlike Cloud during the more important operations. When the machine stopped and the door slid open to let us out I heard him mumble quietly to himself

'Let's do this.'

Inside the mission briefing we were told the basic data we needed using automated voice instruction and high quality monitors. She wished us good luck in our apprehension and the computers shut themselves down without delay.

"You know something?" He said as we reached the underground parking garage. "I've decided to call her Lady."

"Who? The computer woman?" I straddled my Hardy-Daytona as per usual.

"Well, you know, think about it. She's always giving us orders and answering our calls but no one really calls her anything. Kind of sad."

"Huh.." I laugh with a shrug. "Guess I never noticed."

So here's Snow, 2nd Class SOLDIER and my best friend. My best friend, who's so nervous about his first 1st Class mission that he's talking about naming computer voices and rubbing his hands on his pants to wipe the sweat from his palms. I clamp my hand down on the back of his neck and start my bike up without any more stalling.

"Think you can keep up, SOLIDER?"

And as the large steel doors rolled open, we broke out into the night air like bats out of hell.

To be continued in the next chapter..