Konnichiwa~ This is a rather random piece that popped into my head. It will probably stay a oneshot, but I might end up making it multichapter fic.
WARNINGS: Suicidal thoughts and attempted suicide.
Disclaimer: I dun own it, derp. Then I'd be rich enough to buy that $900 camera I want .
Mudblood.
Why had he said it? Severus dragged his long, wiry fingers through his greasy black hair, not even wincing as it pulled at his scalp. In fact, he welcomed the pain in a way, because he deserved it. He'd called her a mudblood, mentioned the unmentionable word.
The Slytherin banged his fists against his temples over and over again, shoulders shaking. After the moment in the courtyard earlier – that horrible, humiliating moment – he had hidden himself in the astronomy tower, knowing that he wouldn't be bothered. There weren't any classes on Wednesdays.
It was nearing midnight now and he hadn't moved. Severus had no doubt that his knuckles were bruised from hitting the ground, probably bleeding. He'd started crying hours ago and somewhere along the way stopped caring.
What reason did he have to care anyway? He thought bitterly. His home-life was abysmal – his mother a timid woman reduced to little but a squib and a father that favored his alchohol and punished often with a heavy hand. His school life wasn't much better. Ridiculed and humiliated at every turn, an outcast in his own house for his blood and the state of his clothes.
The only bright light in his life was Lily, and he'd just lost her too.
So what did he have to live for? Severus let out a shaking breathe as he leaned his head back against the cool stone wall, looking up at the starry sky. His greasy locks caressed his face and he grimaced. He hated his hair. It was naturally oily and the fumes of the potions did nothing to help. It wasn't like he could afford the shampoos to make it better.
He didn't have money. He didn't have a nice home or parents that loved him. He didn't have any goals. He didn't have any friends. He didn't have anyone to care whether he lived or died.
Severus glanced at the towers edge. It would be so easy – too easy – to jump. To end his life. To not have to feel anything anymore.
He felt the corners of his thin lips raise in the ghost of a smile. Lily would cry, he'd bet. She was too nice to not. He'd bet Potter and his posse would be upset too – what other slimy Slytherin made such a good target for them to harass and make miserable? Dumbledore wouldn't care.
The young potion's master snorted. The headmaster had shown that he didn't care whether Severus lived or died last year when he let Black off with a week of detentions for attempting to murder him. Severus himself got punished more, for two weeks for being set up to meet a ravenous werewolf.
But could he do it?
He shut his eyes for only a minute before opening them, revealing determined coal-black eyes.
He could. And he would.
Severus stood up on trembling legs, stumbling over to the ledge and gripping it hard enough that his knuckles turned a stark white. His breath came faster and his heart thudded in his chest as he slowly swung himself over until he was sitting with his legs dangling hundreds of feet off of the ground.
"I can do this." His whispered, hoaresly, swallowing the fear that was creeping up on him as he looked down. Another tear streaked down his cheek until it dripped onto his hand. He glanced down, the sight of his own bloody knuckles strengthening his resolve. He sucked in one deep breath.
"Bye Lily." Severus whispered, closing his eyes and letting go. His heart froze in his chest and he opened his mouth to scream because he was terrified, horrified, he didn't- he couldn't-
But he didn't have to; a hand had grabbed his wrist. The Slytherin glanced up, undoubtedly looking pathetic with puffy red eyes and disheveled hair, only for his breathe to catch in his throat as what had happened clicked in his mind.
Why the bloody hell had Remus Lupin just saved his life?
Dundundunnnn.
Song of the Chapter; Nobody's Fool - Evanescence
~Violet