Title: Sometimes I wonder
Genre: Poetry, romance, general
Rating: T
Feedback: Sure
Wordcount: 1065
Diclaimer: I don't own. DC and Warner Bros. do.
Sometimes I wonder
About these silly humans and their stupid laws
What good are they if they are only meant to be broken?
They are only statutes, self imposed limitations
An invisible red line
And yet
How many of them are that disciplined?
Discipline is not natural
It is an artificial construct,
A man made mechanism used to suppress the true self
Mad made like organized religion
Man made like the wax candle
Sometimes I wonder,
why do they put in so much faith into artificial commandments?
Sometimes I wonder, why don't they embrace what comes naturally to them,
Instead of having to come up with creative rationalizations and break free from those self imposed chains
After all,
Discipline is only a fancy word for denial
Humans, what silly creatures
What is it to be human?
A disciplined brute
A rational fool
A walking contradiction
Sometimes I wonder what does it mean to be human
To be human, you have to feel
To be human, you have to think
To be human, you have to have a conscience, a soul
I feel,
I feel when a force of a hundred horses is breaking into my jaws
I feel when my bones are being broken into and my body violated
I feel when a sharp object pierces into my white flesh
I think,
I think about what I had for lunch today
I think about rigging the next NOW convention in town
I think I have to make a phone call
But do I have a spirit? A soul?
If the body is the vehicle and the mind the driver,
What purpose is the soul?
An imaginary penance to qualify entry into a manmade paradise?
Sometimes I wonder why do they waste time with petty rules and mind games.
Sometimes I wonder why he wastes his time.
Sometimes I wonder,
about this little game that we play
or is it a dance?
A game involves a set of rules and a set of props
A dance involves a neatly wound set of steps,
Like rules
That follow a set path
Is that it?
I don't know, but sometimes I wonder….
Props, like people, are the movable pieces
Steps, or the rules, allow for us to communicate
Sometimes I wonder,
About this unique thing that we have
This inimitable thing that we share
Sometimes, I do like to think that there is more
But that is crazy, isn't it?
To add meaning to where there is none?
Then again, according to my doctors,
I'm entitled to my deliriums
But I admit,
Sometimes I wonder,
If the rules changed
Would he take me up on that offer?
Of course not, that is a silly fantasy, but we all have them, right?
It's not a crime to have them, is it?
Sometimes I wonder,
Why do I overestimate him?
Sometimes I wonder,
Does he really think one more trip to the funhouse will cure me?
Sometimes I wonder,
What would he think about change?
If I chose to initiate it,
I wonder,
Would he cross that bridge to me?
If he saw me make that first step
Sometimes I wonder
What would he say if I spilled some of Arkham's dirty little secrets?
Such as Plant Lady getting denied her vitamin D
Or the Hat fetishist getting surprise midnight check ups' with the guards dressed up as various members from storybook land and applying 'therapy'
By no means, I never claimed to be a humanitarian, but I can't help but wonder,
What would he say after waxing poetic about how we are the freaks and yet,
Behind closed doors
He is missing the greatest show on Earth and out of our hands!
Sometimes I wonder,
Does he ever feel like a hypocrite?
Isn't it a little strange
To claim that you for the precious little thing called life
And yet,
Being conditioned to just respond with combat
Is that really living?
To just respond with the fists
Without thinking
Isn't it a little odd
To claim you are not crazy
And yet,
How many times I you sent me back to the cookoo house
In hopes that I would change for your own peace of mind
Isn't the definition of insanity to expect change by using the same routine?
A rational fool
A disciplined brute
A walking contradiction
Sometimes I wonder
How would he react to change?
Sometimes I wonder
Does he even want to?
Would he follow my steps if I decided to alter this decades old match?
Sometimes I wonder,
How would he react to my electroshock therapy
Where my skin and muscles get more tender than a Thanksgiving turkey
Sometimes I wonder,
If he ever thinks about the pain that he arouses within me.
No, I am not talking about the superficial cuts and scrapes
I am talking about something deeper
Sometimes I wonder
If he thinks about this passion play
and how it arouses pleasure in my inner being, body and mind.
Sometimes I wonder, how would he react
If instead of greeting his face with a musk spray
I ran a hand across it
Sometimes I wonder,
What would he say
If he found out
That while the blows to my face hurt,
none so much as the ones that occur in my heart
Sometimes I wonder,
What would he think
If he found out that he aroused more gratification within me
Than a playground full of broken glass
Sometimes I wonder,
What would it feel like for him to hold me, kiss me even?
Sometimes I wonder,
How would he respond?
If he found me lying next to him,
And I leaned over
And with my hot breath against his cheek,
and whispered my deepest darkest secrets to him.
Sometimes I wonder,
what would it feel like
to have that piece of humanity he allows me to see,
touch my white flesh.
Across my neck, between my thighs.
Sometimes I wonder,
would he let me return the favor
Perchance it was a dream,
I don't know
But I had you cornered
And cradled your face
Between my hands
And on your back
Before I leaned in
And delivered the punch line
It sent more impulses throughout my body,
than the outdated technology masquerading as a cure.
Was it real, a product of my imagination,
or something else?
I don't know,
But sometimes I wonder.
Fin
Author's note: Hello everyone. No, I didn't fall off the face of the Earth, I just took an extended break. Let's just say that 2008 was a challenge for me creatively, financially, mentally and academically. I decided to write this little piece before the Winter quarter starts next week. For those that follow my story, One More Chance, I have not abandoned it. It's just on a hiatus until further notice. In the meantime, I hope you enjoy this piece I brewed. Hugs n kisses!!