Why Me?
Summery- Takes place during NM while Bella is out of it. Bella's thoughts about her life after the Cullens leave and Charlie's thoughts on how she's acting. One shot.
AN: Felt depressed and I usually feel better if I write something where someone is depressed so I decided to write a one-shot of Bella's thoughts while she was out if it in New Moon. Enjoy. I hope I don't make you cry this time.
BPOV
I open my eyes to the dull cloudiness of everyday Forks. That's the only thing around here: clouds. Clouds and trees. Trees and clouds. Of course I missed one crucial point: rain. Rain was the most abundant thing around here. Even love and friendship couldn't compare to all of the rain. It seemed easier with-
I'm not even going to finish that thought. They never cared about me. Why do I even trick myself into believing that there was any love and friendship between us when I know there wasn't? They wouldn't have left if they truly cared about me.
Why Me? Why did they have to pick me to be nice to and then leave? Why am I so 'special'? They had no right to come into my life and then destroy it. But they did anyway. Well, he did.
Now I can't even feel anything. I am an emotionless blob of flesh and organs. I have no soul. They took that. I don't even care about it anymore. The only reason I'm alive yet is to take care of Charlie. He would never be able to take care of himself.
The roar of my truck doesn't scare me anymore. Most people think I'm deaf now. I've completely torn apart the radio because I can't hear it anymore. If I hear it, I fall apart. I fall into an even more emotionless and soundless world.
I don't even hear my 'friends' say hi to me anymore. I stopped listening. I don't think they're my friends. They are just going to end up leaving me, too. They'll wait until I'm at my most vulnerable point and leave just like him.
Even Charlie's going to leave at some point. It won't be for the same reason, but he'll still be leaving. His bones will be rotting by the time I join him again. Even then it won't be the same.
Then again, who am I to say that there is even an after life? Ed-he seems to think that there is one and that he is going to rot in Hell for being what he is. He can go ahead. He deserves it.
Why is it that all I can think about is him? I despise him. He is the worst person in the entire world. Yet he isn't an actual person. He is a thing, a thing that was always intended to be a filthy disgusting vermin that ruins lives. Even if not in the same way as mine, he was destined to destroy others lives; killing loved ones was what vampires were created for.
That must be how Charlie feels, that I'm dead now and that Edward has killed me. I'm still alive on the outside, but on the inside they took away everything that made me myself. Why Me? Why am I the only one they hurt like that?
Charlie's POV
Coming home from work everyday wondering if Bella had survived another day was not the way I had planned life. I couldn't believe how different she was after he had left. She wasn't even a person anymore. She sat there like she wasn't even alive. No person can be that dead to the world and still be alive.
I still hope she has it in her to stay alive after what happened with Edward. That bastard ruined her life. She doesn't even feel emotions anymore. She doesn't talk. I'll ask her how her day was and she'll just grunt or say 'ok.'
Renee has asked me so many times if Bella was alright and all I could reply with was 'I don't know.' I don't think Bella knows if she's alright. She's so far out of it she can't know if she's ok. She would probably be dead right now if she didn't worry about Renee and me.
We'll never be the same if she did something drastic. We'll never be the same and she'll never be the same all be cause of Edward Cullen. Why her? Why did he pick her to leave behind like this?
AN: Yes I know it's sad. I was sad when I wrote it. I also know New Moon came out a while ago, but I thought I needed to write in a different time frame for a change. I still haven't read all of Breaking Dawn. Personally I don't like it that much. Anyway, let me know what you though of this quick glimpse into Bella and Charlie's minds.