Notes: This is for Ralinde, who won first place on my Unresolved Sexual Tension competition (with her story Focus, which you all should go read right now because it's amazing. Just saying.)

Ralinde: This was supposed to be a 500-word drabble, but you were also supposed to let me know what you wanted. I'm not a fan of owing things, so I wrote this for you. I know that you ship Percy with muggle!Audrey. I remember reading one of your stories on them and it kind of sparked this plot bunny. So I hate you a little for making me ship them too. Jk - no hate. All the love to you, you talented lady. I hope you like this!

Eulogy to a Broken Wand

Boredom was never kind to Audrey.

Boredom, in fact, was the reason she was now lying on her back in pain, with her very worried boyfriend kneeling next to her.

"Are you hurt?" he was asking. Audrey shuffled to check for any insufferable sort of pain before shaking her head. "Can you get up?"

Audrey propped herself up with her right hand and flexed her knees. She took his helping hand, and only then she felt it.

"Stop, Percy. It hurts." She moved her left hand slowly. Moving it backwards made her wince. "I probably just sprained it. It's not broken. Believe me," she added, making note of his skeptical stare, "I got enough broken bones in my life. I know what it feels like."

"Let's get you on the bed, then. I'll bring my wand."

Audrey didn't take his hand this time, getting up on her own.

"I fell on my arse," she told him as she made her way to their bed. "Let me tell you - it may not look like much, but it was certainly enough to cushion my fall."

"How did this happen, anyway?" There was a tiny hint of a smile on his face.

"I wanted to do the laundry, so I was searching through your cloak- you know, to be sure there was nothing in the pockets-"

"I left my wand in there." He shook his head, then ran his hand through his red hair. "I get it now. It pushed you away, didn't it? How many times have I told you, Audrey, that you shouldn't touch my wand under any circumstances? You should ask before taking any-"

"I wanted to do our laundry, for once. You could be a bit more grateful."

"I use magic to do things around the house. I appreciate your good intentions, but I do not need you to do the laundry."

Audrey crossed her arms and turned away from him. So this is what arguing with Percy feels like? She wasn't even sure that counted as arguing. But she was glad when he got up to search the pockets of his cloak.

"It could've been worse, Audrey." Percy wasn't looking at her. His speech was quick and errant. "Non-magical people can't go messing around with wands. Or magical objects, really. And wands... wands are... almost sentient, you could say. My wand won't respond properly to anyone but me." He took something out of the cloak's pocket - it was a splintered half of the very object she'd touched. "I didn't want you getting hurt."

Audrey almost didn't hear him over her own feelings of guilt.

Percy's wand had snapped in half. And it was her fault.

"I'm so sorry, Percy. I-"

"Don't. I'm the one who should be apologizing." He came back to her and sat by her side. "I am sorry. I should've told you. And... and I mean it when I say that I appreciate all that you do for me. The important thing is that you didn't get seriously hurt." He looked at the remains of his wand. "My wand, on the other hand, I can replace. I needed a new one anyway. This one wasn't quite working for me anymore."

"I'm still sorry. I... you're right, you know? You can use magic and get everything done, but I just... I want to do something."

"Perks of dating a wizard is that many household tasks take care of themselves." Percy seemed to notice that her smile didn't reach her eyes, because he added, "You cook, Audrey. And wonderfully well, if I say so."

"That is different. I love cooking. Besides, I only do it because I don't have to do the dishes afterward."

"See? Then it's a fair trade. I love using household spells to do what needs to get done, especially if it makes you happy. If anything, it's me who never really does anything around the house."

Audrey could never hold that against him. He had, after all, made both their lives much easier.

"It's just... surreal. You belong to this world that I'll never be part of."

"I'll never be a part of your world either. And yes, I can still promise I don't work for the Mafia."

Audrey laughed. It had taken her a long time to believe that Percy, a young man with a generous income and a mysterious past, wasn't doing anything illegal.

"I believe you now. I've seen what you can do." She rested her hand on his cheek in a soft caress. "You're wonderful."

"Audrey, dear. I'm a horrible man who has done horrible things."

"I know, but you regret them." Percy readily nodded. "Then I don't care."

He kissed her softly, sweetly, taking her hand in his. Percy's touch just never got old. She knew it had nothing to do with his powers, but it always did feel like he was making magic happen with his fingertips on her skin.

"I'm so sorry," he said after breaking contact. "I can't fix your wrist without my wand."

Percy looked miserable, as if every man in the world was expected to make things better with magic. So Audrey wanted to make things better for him, with magic or without.

"I'll bandage up this bad boy, and in a week it will be like nothing ever happened." He didn't react, and she had a better idea. "I'll tell you what. Let's cancel our reservations for the movie. Go get yourself a new wand. Then you get to fix my wrist."

"You're excited."

"Well, yes! You've never performed magic on me."

"That potion to straighten your hair-"

"That's different."

"Still magic." Once again, he looked at his broken wand before speaking. "I- well, I think that sounds like a plan. But do you want to come with me? You can say no. It's going to be shocking, and I'd still want you to watch that hand of yours, but-"

"Of course I want to come with you! Do you have a wand shop right here in London? Where do you buy magical- wait, I think you- is it where your brothers have that shop you've been telling me about? Are they-"

Percy's laughter interrupted her. Upon realizing she'd let her excitement go unrestrained, Audrey blushed.

"Am I going to regret this?" Percy asked with a lopsided smile.

"Maybe. I hope not."

Audrey half-expected him to change his mind. He simply shrugged, his smile growing wider.

"Oh, well."