A/N My Name is Katie Mae. You can call me K-Mae, or Shake as I'm called on the F NET forums. I love writing, and well I believe I've fell behind on my required writing amount for the summer, so I decided to start another story. Of course, like all my other ones they are D/Hr, or "Dramione" as I like to call it. This is the basic Head boy/Head Girl scenario that we all know and love. It's the basic idea, not very creative—but I hope to make something of it. Since I'm WAY to lazy to add in the war and whatnot from the books, I'll go without it. Let's pretend I wrote this BEFORE the 6th book came out k? I know lazy and not well writing skills, but what the heck? It's 1 am and I'm officially in the lazy writing mood.
Alright, and this first part really has NOTHING to do with the story line. So you can skip it if you want. It's just how Draco feels about himself before the year starts. It's just Fun to read.
Ok, no more rambles. And ON WITH IT!
Prologue-
There's no easy way to state this, but I'm dying. I'm dying in a way that no one will ever see. No one will notice, appreciate, or mourn in waiting. I can't say why I'm dying or how it's exactly happening, but it is. Wipe the sweat from your forehead, it's not physical. I'm dying mentally, and it's not good. I'm surrounded by fakes and bullies telling me what I should be, or they're expecting something that's not me, something that's cruel and like my Father. I know it sounds cliché, but I'm nothing like him. I'm really not.
I guess this past summer while listening to his horror stories of how he was imprisoned by that damn Potter boy and how he was destined to fight back just suddenly stopped appealing to me. I began to get sick of hearing him yammer on about how much he hated Dumbledore and the others. Although I still felt I needed my front. It's not like I really wanted it, but I needed it. I needed to hide the real me for many reasons. One, I didn't want to talk about it, two, I didn't want to lose my friends, and three, if I told people how I felt I would be disowned or followed.
It was a confusing bunch that I hung out with. They were very slow sometimes and relied on me a lot. They always followed what I did, or hated who I hated. It made me wonder what they would do if I changed. Would they change with me? Or would they stick to their Slytherin laws and stay how they were. It worries me, I admit, but it's not like I'm fretting over it. I'm actually rather enjoying the reaction I create in my head if they ever did get to see the real me, or at least the me that I think is real.
Maybe I'm just thinking too much into this, maybe I'm lacking something, something that's important in a young mans life. Sports? Nah… I have plenty of Quidditch. Friends? I have plenty of those. Love? I've gotten plenty of it. Ha-ha, like Tracy Davis back in the 5th year. That was the year I lost my virginity. She was a beauty. Twelve days of wonder and majesty, she wasn't half bad in the dorm room either, if you know what I mean. Ha, Twelve days… the longest relationship I've ever had.
I've never been too keen to commitment, but Trace was my first love. Well- what I make of love. Isn't love just a word to say to someone when you love how they pleasure you? Or at least that's how I learned it. Like how you love a wand or a broomstick. It's the same right? Of course, if I loved her I wouldn't have let Parkinson woo me into dumping Davis for her. So maybe I wasn't in love, but I was into her.
So maybe that's what I missing now-a-days. Love. Maybe that's what's making me think different of myself. I haven't found the real love yet. Although what Malfoy needs it, right? I don't think my father ever had it. I think he just choose Mum because she was the quietest. Ah—who knows? I'm just babbling.