Beautiful Deceit

Things were too complicated. Harry was gone, along with Ron and Hermione. Merlin only knew when they would return, when he would return to her. At first she cried. That's all she did for weeks. When her mother barged into her room claiming she wasn't eating enough and needed to be with her family she decided she would try.

So everyday she would wake extra early and watch the sunrise and cry, but not a lot, just until the sun was up. The she would proceed to the bathroom, wash her face and brush her teeth, then head downstairs. Her mother never again saw the puffy eyes or the tears. However no matter what, she knew her mother knew. She would help cook all the meals and the only other time she would excuse herself from the family was to go watch the sunset. She felt free watching it, like there were no ties restricting her to staying with her family. She wanted to be with Harry. She told him this the night before he left. They had held each other throughout the night and in the morning he was gone.

Once Fred had caught her on the roof watching the sunset. He could immediately tell she was crying. Instead of being, well himself, he crawled onto the roof and brought her into a tight hug until the beautiful orange and pink had fallen behind the horizon. She became a lot closer with Fred after that. No one knew what had happened, and that's the way Ginny wanted it.

Every night she would stay awake until her eyes no longer could stay open. She didn't want to fall asleep. Though many would believe that sleep would be her escape, and they were correct. But she didn't like this escape. It brought her too much heartache. You see her dreams, they were her beautiful deceit.

She knew they were lies, but in her dreams she would let herself believe them. That's how the sunrise tradition had started. She would set her alarm, never allowing herself longer than a mere few hours of sleep at a time. She could handle the depression, that she had already had experience with during the time after Riddle's diary. It was the heartache that came as something new to her. She had half experienced this when she had gotten over her little 'crush' on Harry many years ago, but that was nothing compared to actually losing him once she had finally got him.

She knew today was different. She was returning to Hogwarts today. She wanted to go back, to hopefully get away from the memories that haunted her life at the Burrow. Throughout first term she tried to sleep more. It pretty much seemed impossible. Her dreams, they became more deceitful. She would have dreams of Harry returning to her, taking her away from Hogwarts by whisking her away on his Firebolt. Dreams that he would come to the school just to see her, traveling many miles, just for her. She had to stop sleeping, that's what she told herself. Ginny knew this would be dangerous, but she really didn't care. She actually succeeded in this for a month. Then she would fall asleep in class. The professors were worried. Ginny Weasley did not fall asleep in class. After talks from almost all her professors, she started to take naps in the common room at night after finishing all her homework. She then returned to watching the sunrise and sunset. Even Luna had no idea what was wrong with Ginny, but she figured it had something to do with Harry not returning to Hogwarts.

Soon the holidays were coming near. The Great Hall, common room, and corridors were all decked in Christmas decorations, this actually came as a relief to Ginny. Everyday she put on a smiling face, because really, she wanted to be happy, she just couldn't. She knew she wasn't taking good care of herself, she had skimmed on shower, not really washing her hair, she wasn't eating enough, and she had developed dark circles under her eyes. The night before she had to leave to go to the Burrow she went to Madam Pomfrey to get some sleeping draught so she would get a full night of sleep and look better for when she arrived home. She took a long shower and put make-up over the circles under her eyes and then went to floo to the Burrow.

When she arrived she could hardly breathe. There standing in the middle of the living room was Harry Potter. Oh yah an Hermione and Ron, but she hardly noticed. She pinched herself, to make sure it was not one of her dreams. When she realized that this was not a dream she ran. She ran outside, into the falling snow, she ran until she no longer could, and dropped to her knees and began to cry. She heard a footstep behind her, knowing whom it was, she didn't even flinch as he said her name. Ginny just sat there, crying not wanting to see him, knowing full well that he would have to leave her again. Harry put an arm around her shoulders and knelt beside her. He picked up her chin and looked into her eyes. They were no longer the beautiful chocolate brown that they were that last night, they were more of a muddy color, no longer holding any emotion beside sadness.

"I'm sorry." Harry uttered these words, thinking of nothing else except all the pain he had caused.

"I know Harry."

"I-I-I love you Ginny. I never wanted to cause you all this pain. I'm so sorry." With that he shed a single tear which he quickly wiped away.

"That's the first time you said that," said Ginny. Harry nodded. "I love you too Harry."

They held each other for a while longer and went back inside to be with family. She knew he would leave after break. He had to. Harry was the one who had to kill Voldemort. But for now Harry was here, with her. For now, that's where he would stay, and after that they would both leave. In her mind though, he would come back to her. She would welcome her dreams now, knowing that one day some of them would come true. She didn't call it beautiful deceit for nothing.

AN: This turned out a lot sadder than I had originally planned. But please tell me what you think.