This is a hurt/comfort request I got from FearfulKnights. I'm sorry if it's a bit out of character, but this is actually my first time doing a legit this-will-probably-make-you-cry-when-you-read-this story. Enjoy.
It wasn't good enough. It was never good enough. There was always something wrong. He could never get it perfect. He would never be perfect, and then he wouldn't be able to sing. What was the point of it all if he couldn't sing? Living in the world without being able to sing was unimaginable. He didn't like thinking of that.
He saw that it came so easy to his roommate. Watching him singing his heart out made his own heart ache. The way he sang, it was so natural, so full of passion. He could only dream of sounding like that. He tried so hard to be good enough. He only wanted to sing. That's all he ever wanted, to sing.
Coming back late from work again, he silently slipped into the dorm. His redheaded roommate was already fast asleep on the other side of the room. He put his bags down and undressed to take a shower. He stepped into the bathroom, accidentally leaving the door open slightly.
Light streamed in over the redhead's eyelids, and the sound of a running shower stirred his senses. He slowly opened his eyes, and turned his head. "Tokiya's finally back…." he said softly. He stay in his bed, wanting his roommate to believe he was still asleep. If he knew that he woke him up, he would feel bad. A few minutes later, the navy haired teen finally emerged from the bathroom, a towel lazily hung over his waist. He made his way over to his side of the room, and pulled out some of his pajamas from a drawer. He moved the towel around his neck and got dressed. The navy sit down on his bed, his head resting in his palms, his elbows resting on his knees.
"Dammit," he muttered.
I'm sorry, but to make an appearance on the show, I've had to cut your performance on the radio.
"I've lost another chance to sing," he said to himself, his eyes watering. He let go, let the tears flow down his cheeks, onto his palms.
"Tokiya," the redhead called out softly, sitting up in bed. He was concerned for his roommate. Not once had he seen him cry. "What's wrong?"
"Nothing," Tokiya said.
"Don't lie to me, Tokiya. At least not now. What's wrong?" he asked again, this time he got up and walked toward him.
"Everything's wrong okay?!" he yelled, throwing his head up to look at his roommate.
"Tokiya…"
"I'm not good enough. They won't let me sing," he said, not caring about being HAYATO right now. "And I'm not good enough here either. My scores are low, and I can't sing with passion. I don't know what I'm doing wrong. I just don't get it."
Otoya looked at his roommate, not understanding what he thought was wrong. "Tokiya, I don't get it either."
Tokiya looked up to see his roommate frowning.
"I don't get why you beat yourself up like this. I don't get why you don't think you're good enough. I don't get why you can't sing, Tokiya."
Otoya walked closer to his roommate. "But I do understand," he started again. "That you try so hard, but to me, it looks like you don't try at all. I understand that you always want to improve yourself, even if nothing's wrong. I understand, that you, Ichinose Tokiya, are a wonderful singer, who just can't see that for himself. I look up to you, Tokiya. To me you're more perfect than anything I've ever seen, so why can't you see that for yourself?"
Tokiya felt more tears well up in his eyes. "I don't get you, Ittoki. I can't understand how you can be so light hearted with all this stress around you. You seem so carefree. You sing with such passion I can only dream about. I don't get why you look up to me."
Tokiya felt the redhead wrap his arms around him, gently pulling him into his chest. "Tokiya, I don't know if my opinion will matter to you, but you're perfect just the way you are. So please, stop doubting yourself."
Tokiya, in turn, wrapped his arms around the redhead as well, letting his tear stain the shoulder of his shirt. "I'm sorry."
"Don't apologize," Otoya said, moving his hand to cradle his roommate's. "Just continue to sing."