U-Turn
Disclaimer: I do not own Rookie Blue.
A/N 1: Spoilers for S3 Ep 9 and a little of Ep 10 based from the promo.
A/N 2: Wrote this after Ep 9 aired, just a little tidbit of what might happen but a far stretch.
RIP Jerry Barber.
Thanks to natalienicole1981 for reviewing and helping out with some edits!
Jerry Barber, my best friend, is dead. If we had gotten there sooner he could still be alive right now. But he isn't.
Being at the funeral was brutal. Burying one of your own is never easy, especially if you've gone through thick and thin with that person. Whose money am I supposed to take in poker now?
I didn't want to be at work, it's too depressing. Everyone is asking each other if they're okay. No we're not okay. I'm not okay. This is not okay.
"Are you blaming me for Jerry?" she asked me. In which I responded yes. I should have gone with Jerry instead of her and he'd still be alive.
I went home and she came in after me. This conversation wasn't over.
"I know you're grieving. But don't take this out on me."
"Who am I supposed to take it out on Andy? Who? I already blame myself, I blame the whole god damn station!"
"Sam…"
"No, Andy, no. You don't get it. He's dead. Jerry is dead, dead because we were too late going after some stupid bartender."
"You could have gone with him, but you chose to go with me. I didn't force you to."
"So this is my fault?"
"It's not anyone fault Sam. No one knew this was going to happen. No one wanted this to happen."
"I can't be a cop and be with you."
"What?"
"You heard me."
"Are you joking right now?"
"No. That could have been you Andy. It could have been me. How are we supposed to be together if that could happen to either one of us?"
"That's just something we're going to have to deal with Sam, we're police officers, we both knew what we were getting into. Anything can happen."
"I don't want it happening to you. I can't have you go through what Tracy is going through if it were me."
"Sam I hear what you're saying and where it's coming from, but life is not a guarantee. You don't think I wonder about if anything ever happened to you? I worry about you all the time."
"Andy…"
"Is this really how you want to end this? This is what we've fought for for two years. What happened to fighting for us? Did that just go down the drain?"
"I can protect you as your partner, not as your boyfriend."
"Why can't you do both?"
"It's not that simple Andy! Not now. I just need to get through this train wreck that I've become and I can't do that right now with you."
"Sam I know you're going through the 5 stages of grief, but I can help you through it, together."
"Andy I can't."
Tears were in both their eyes.
"If this is what you want, then I guess I can't stop you." She laughed. "Who knew that I'd be the one walking out the door, not you. Funny how things turn out don't you think." She said as she turned to Sam and gave him one last kiss that they may ever know before walking out the door.
Sam felt her lips on his and before he knew it he was watching her race down the steps out of his house, and possibly his life.
"What have I done?"