My first ANGST story, yes angst. –'The Blowers Daughter' (Damien Rice)-
Thanks Kylie!
"Don't forget about me, Daddy!" little Lacy Danes yelled happily after her Dad as he and her Mom left for a weekend at Boston.
"Never" Luke turned around and picked her up. "Not even if I get amnesia" he kissed her cheek and set the four year old back onto the porch where she quickly turned to her big sister to ask what that meant. That was the last time Rory and Lacy saw him smiling, or just saw him at all.
Thinking of his last words to their daughter was killing Lorelai as she got ready. Rory had taken care of Lacy since that day on. Lorelai stood in front of the mirror, she was planning on wearing that short dress he loved so much but she just wasn't in the mood to make him happy. How could she when she was due at the cemetery in less than thirty minutes to say her final goodbye to the man that left her. Lorelai swore that the shadow she saw in the back wall as she looked into the mirror was his. But she couldn't bear to turn around and not find him there.
"Mom?" Rory walked into her Mother's room. "Lacy's down stairs waiting" Lorelai's eyes wondered one last time to that shadow and said 'goodbye' before turning to look at her daughter with a fake brave smile on.
"Let's go then" Lorelai had no idea how all those words had made way through that huge knot in her throat.
Twenty minutes later+
Lorelai stood there motionless looking down at the dark brown casket while she held tightly to Lacy's hand as the girl moved so her flipy white dressed moved on its own.
And so it is
Just like you said it would be
Life goes easy on me
Most of the time
She was trying to block out all the sobbing that was going around her, for some reason no tear dared to leave her eyes. Maybe it was because she had to be strong for her daughters, or maybe because she thought that crying was giving up, or maybe just maybe it was because he had asked her not to. He had wanted her to be happy with her life and move on from him. Damn him for always trying to shield her.
And so it is
The shorter story
No love, no glory
No hero in her sky
And again here she was facing a lonely life, only now she had two daughters who she'd have to hold together. Not only hold them together but hold herself together, after all, now she was alone for the first time in her life she felt truly alone. The fact that he wasn't there anymore made her feel defenseless and alone but most off all angry.
I can't take my eyes off of you
I can't take my eyes off you
Walking close to midnight at Boston was probably the stupidest idea they'd had. It had all gone in slow motion after those two guys jumped in front of them while they rounded the corner. One looked more relax than the other one, and maybe the relaxed one should've been holding the gun instead of the 'itchy trigger' nervous one. Or maybe Luke should've just stepped aside and not have gotten in front of Lorelai. Apparently the sudden movement scared 'Mr. itchy trigger'
I can't take my eyes off of you
I can't take my eyes off you
The relaxed one smacked 'Mr. itchy trigger' as soon as the gun went off, they both ran off but the damage was done, the life was ruin. Luke clutched his midsection and turned to look at Lorelai with a panicked face. It wasn't long before he fell forwards on his knees. And that's when Lorelai snapped out of her shock and kneeled next to him while yelling for help.
I can't take my eyes off you
I can't take my eyes...
She saw him turn whiter by the second. He quickly fell backwards, head bouncing twice on the sidewalk. Lorelai yelling hysterically. Luke's eyes filled with tears and they weren't because of the pain. He knew that was it, he knew he'd never see his daughters' faces again, see Lorelai smile, see Lacy grow, or Rory marry and that hurt more than the gun shot itself. He got cold; the breeze wasn't helping him either. Luke reached one hand up and touched Lorelai's cheek, she stopped yelling and looked down at him 'don't worry' he had said through teary eyes before pulling her down for one last kiss. The kiss was cut short though, he began coughing blood. Lorelai panicked more, the breeze intensified as if trying to protest the injustice of it all. 'No' Lorelai told him as he coughed more. 'Don't worry' he repeated one last time. Damn him for always trying to shield her.
Lorelai took a deep breath and draped her free arm over Rory's sobbing frame. Lacy was still too young to know anything, plus it was a closed casket for everybody's sake.
And so it is
Just like you said it should be
We'll both forget the breeze
Most of the time
Lorelai shuddered as the tree's rattled. And all she could think of was how wrong Luke had been, how can she not worry? How can she keep going on like if he was just working at the diner and was gonna be home later that night? Lorelai took another deep breath and let go of Rory; she walked the couple of steps between her and the casket. Lorelai lifted Lacy and told her to place her rose on the center of the casket, when she did Lorelai set her down and took her hand again then leaned forward and placed a kiss on top of the casket where she assumed his lips were. With that she turned left Lacy with Rory and walked away from the cemetery.
And so it is
The colder water
The blower's daughter
The pupil in denial
Lorelai couldn't handle seeing Luke being wheeled down, six feet. Six feet of dirt and rocks, and of injustice to a community. Nobody was surprised that Lorelai had left; they all expected her to break down and yelled until the clouds gathered and Luke magically appeared again.
I can't take my eyes off of you
I can't take my eyes off you
'No, Luke!' Lorelai yelled at him, people had started gathering. Luke couldn't help but notice all the time, years, they had wasted ranting, arguing, yelling about her coffee intake and eating habits. And all for what? He was the one dieing on a sidewalk, the healthy one. 'I love you' Luke choked up because of the blood gathering in his throat. That's when Lorelai began crying and when Luke had told her not to, it was pointless really. Her tears weren't gonna help him; if all they were gonna make him feel bad.
I can't take my eyes off of you
I can't take my eyes off you
'I'm sorry' was the last thing Lorelai would ever hear come out of his mouth. 'me too' Lorelai said crying into his chest. Someone pulled her off of Luke, Luke's dead body, a little later. She didn't know who and she was almost certain that it had been her imagination pulling her back from her dead husband and not a real person.
I can't take my eyes off you
I can't take my eyes...
A police officer had driven her home that night, all through the ride she cried but once they entered Stars Hollow she suddenly stopped. When she got home, at first Rory was confused to see her there alone and that's when she saw Lorelai's expression. Rory just knew, she couldn't explain how, she just knew. She broke down but Lorelai didn't.
Lorelai slowly walked out of the cemetery she took one agonizing step after another. She was like a zombie. It had taken them forever to get together and it only took one slight movement of a finger to end everything. Lorelai stopped at the gate and turned around 'You promised you weren't like your Dad; you said you'd be there for Lacy!' Lorelai yelled when she saw Lacy walk up to Luke's grave and drop a handful of dirt into it because Rory had also done it a second ago. With that Lorelai left in a hurry not looking back again.
Did I say that I loathe you?
Did I say that I want to
Leave it all behind?
Everything reminded her of him, even the stupidest thing. Like the tree where the almost kissed when he had finally returned from Maine but the stupid town had stopped them. Lorelai turned her face away from it. That's right, just turn the other cheek.
I can't take my mind off of you
I can't take my mind off you
'He was shot' Lorelai must have repeated those three words over a thousand times in a period of two hours, and yet she still didn't cry. Her mind was on Luke's last words. He asked not to cry, he told her he loved her, and asked for her forgiveness. Which at the time she was still denying.
I can't take my mind off of you
I can't take my mind off you
Lorelai did it. She walked right by the darken Diner. And she swears she saw Luke standing behind the counter with his rag in his hands looking at her smirking. When she turned to take a double Look, she came face to face with a big black ribbon 'stupid Taylor' Lorelai said and pulled it off 'Luke doesn't like it when you hang stuff on his windows' she said and threw the ribbon away. She looked up and saw the William's hardware sign and couldn't help but think who was gonna make sure no one took it off, that and the Luke's diner sign. Maybe if Lacy was a boy? Or if Rory decided to stay here? Or maybe even Jess could do it? But ultimately Lorelai was gonna take it upon herself to keep those two sings there. The signs of two people who died way before they were supposed to.
I can't take my mind off you
I can't take my mind...
Lorelai walked away from the diner and towards their, yes it was still their house. On the way there she bumped into a man, a very attractive man who kind of reminded her of Luke. 'Hey there' the man had said with a ginning smile.
My mind...my mind...
'Til I find somebody new
'Never' Lorelai said and left the man behind. She'd never admit it to anyone, not even herself, but she missed Luke and how he always shielded her.
Don't blame me, blame the stupid sad song.
For some LL fluffiness read 'Oh Baby'
Please tell me what you thought if my first Angst story.