She couldn't believe she had forgotten. It had completely slipped her mind, her brains filled with many other thoughts and worried. Sighing she sealed the envelope with the card in and walked out her flat door heading to the bistro. She felt awful – the worst fiancé ever, the one date she should if remembered she didn't.
Walking into the bistro, she met him standing at the bar. She half smiled and handed him the card.
"I'm sorry.." She whispered an apologetic smile stretching across her face. "I promise I will take you out and get you something. Something you really want." She continued, her hand reaching out to hold his. He smiled too and laughed a little when he saw the card but she could see past it and could sense the upset she had caused him. It broke her heart. And then Leanne came, she laughed as she saw the card all the while shaking her head. She couldn't of felt more humiliated, she knew that card wasn't right.
Walking out the bistro she headed back to her flat. Everywhere she looked she was reminded of Nick, his blazer draped across the back of her sofa or his coffee cup still sitting unwashed by the sink. It bought tears to her eyes, what if he never forgave her.
Taking a seat upon the couch, she closed her tired eyes. It had been weeks since she had slept fully throughout the night. She blamed it on the stress she was feeling, whether that be work or more recently Johnny. She didn't think it could possibly be anything else..
She awoke startled from yet another nightmare. This one again about Nick. He ran off with Leanne, pretty mild compared to others, still it created feelings of fear deep inside her. Standing up she walked into the bathroom despite the hunger pains brewing in her stomach. She needed to shower. Removing her clothes, she sighed noticing how her once slim figure was turning chubby and unlady like. She didn't weigh herself though, she couldn't bear to see the drastic change in numbers.
Zipping her jacket up, she once again stepped out her flat. The new year was fast approaching, not that she felt like celebrating much. The night was cold and dark, it caused her to shiver as she walked in the direction of the Bistro.
Walking into the small restaurant she was greeted with many happy smiles from the friends and family she had. Nick was there too and smiled as he saw her, she smiled back but then left him to it.
For the remaining hours she spent of time chatting amongst those she liked and some she didn't. And then the time came. She found Nick and despite his slight reluctance at first she took ahold of his hand and they counted down together. Midnight came and he surprised her, when he leant in to place a soft kiss against her lips, maybe it wasn't so bad. Still she wanted to go. She felt tired and uncomfortable and Johnny kept glancing over at her.
"Look I'm going to go, I just want to be on my own for a few hours." She spoke sadly and heard Nick sigh. She wasn't trying to annoy him, she just didn't feel like partying especially after earlier.
She ended up in much the same position as earlier, only this time she was wide awake. She worried about the future what with Johnny being her new found farther. She worried about her relationship with Nick - Leanne's snide comments about her record of hurting people on constant replay in her head. It made her feel worthless, like people really would be better off without her. She then wondered why her mother decided to continue on with her pregnancy and give birth to the daughter she then grew to hate, she then wondered why Johnny didn't do anything, he could of really changed her life back then. She then began to worry again, she wondered if her life was destined to be the same as her own mum, she certainly had inherited the alcoholic gene. She feared she would grow to hate her future child and Nick would leave, just like any other man. And once again the day, she felt the cold trickle of tears slide down her cheeks. She moved her hands to her slightly enlarged belly and smiled her previous thoughts and upset gone.
"Hello kidda, it's your mummy.."