I'm no hero.
This is set several months after the hospital and firefly incident occurred, since we're mostly left to our own devices to believe what happened next, this is just my take on it. This chapter is short, but the following ones will be much longer and further in depth.
The piercing scream jostled him awake from on the couch. How long had he dozed off? That didn't matter. Scrambling to his feet and clumsily making his way down the hall, he shouldered the door to Ellie's room open. "Joel?" She whimpered, the sheets a tangle on her bed. The light from the moon barely glittered in through the slates of the window, but he could see her chest rising and falling heavily, sweat beading on her brow. Nightmares. "Oh, baby girl.." His breath soft yet rough, walking over to the bed and sitting down next to her, the young girl's head immediately going to his chest. "It was clickers, clickers and you and...none of the guns had bullets and I couldn't save you no matter how hard I tried and it just kept going over and over and over.." Her voice was a cracking mess, heaving as she tried to get the words out while he stroked her brown hair, shushing her in a soothing voice. "It was just a nightmare, baby girl, just a nightmare." It was something they had to get used to. They both got them a lot these days. Scooting her over some, he sat with his back against the headboard while she stayed close to him.
The home Tommy had given them was a simple two bedroom one. It had a decent sized kitchen, living room, and a small nook for breakfast. The walls, like everything, had experienced their share of pain from the neglect of years passed and looting. There were gun shots in the walls, wall paper had been torn, pieces of the floor were broken, along with oddly stained carpet. Ellie, being the ever so adventurous young girl she was, announced one day at breakfast that she had gone searching for something that would make the home not feel like such a "piss poor whore house." With that, she went into her room and came back with a large painting of a Texas cattle ranch. After the initial yelling of her running off on her own was dangerous, he took a look at the painting. "You've got to be kidding me with this, Ellie."
"Not all! Look," she sighed, toting the painting to the living room where most of the bullet wounds were. "It can go right here! It'll cover up all this, and it'll make it, I dunno, a little more homey?"
And so the painting found its new home.
Ellie's sobbing had stopped, her crying had lessened into little sobs until her breathing had evened out. Removing himself and gently setting her head back down on the pillow, he stood up and slowly made his way to the door. Stopping at it, he looked around the room. A lot of the furniture was broken, or damaged in some way. Ellie didn't seem to care, said it gave everything "personality" if it was a little broken. A dresser with several knobs missing, a scratched desk and a desk chair that look surprisingly good. Several posters were tacked up on the walls from when they went to the city to look for food. She couldn't exactly help herself, taking a few records with her every now and then as well. Since they had electricity, it was a nice way to relax after a day. Several pieces of clothing littered her floor, and he couldn't help but be reminded of Sarah. She always had something on her floor. "Goodnight, Ellie." Joel whispered, shutting the door to her room.
His room was on the other end of the hall next to the linen closet, or what would be. Now it shelved guns and ammunition. Joel had managed to fix a lot of the doors, pulling off the planks of wood and fixing the hinges. The windows were some what of a lost cause, and they resorted to putting sheets of tarp over them in the winter to keep the cold out. Opening his door, he crossed the room to his bed and fell into it. Several blankets had been layered to create sheets, which he covered himself with. Putting his arm under his head, he let out a sigh. After everything, it was still hard for him to sleep. No matter how hard he worked in a day, how early he had woken up to guard the perimeter for his turn, it would still take him at least two hours to sleep. Slowly, but surely enough, he fell asleep into a light, fitful sleep.
But at least there wasn't a nightmare tonight.
"Yo, Joel! Wake up!" Making a snorting sound, the older man shot up in his bed.
"What? Something wrong?" She rolled her eyes some, holding onto the door frame and swinging back and forth. "No, you gotta stop thinking somethings wrong all the time. That's really bad for your health, you know." Using her most sophisticated doctor's voice. "I've got a surprise for you, get some pants on and I'll see you on the porch!" Before he could retort with the fact that he was, indeed, wearing pants she was already gone. That damn girl can't keep still. He thought to himself, but it was good to see her energetic. He hadn't seen her smile like that since they were with Sam and Henry. Maybe the other kids were rubbing off on her. Getting his jeans on, he slipped the belt through the loops and buckled it, reaching for a red plaid flannel, he buttoned it and went out to the front.
Ellie sat on one of the stools they had in place of actual patio furniture. That was a little harder to come by. "What are you doing, kid?" He asked, crossing his arms and leaning back onto one of his legs. He had kept his promise and taught her the basics on the old, beat up guitar they found. Thankfully, even after all those years, he could tune a guitar by ear. "I told you, this was the surprise."
"You finally learn that scale I taught ya?"
"Just shut up, ok?" Pulling out a notebook and handing it to him. "The lyrics are finished but I can't sing. So I just want you to read along, alright? I've worked on this for like a month so you better not laugh at me." Pulling the stool closer to Ellie, he took a look at the page while she started to strum.
The notes were low, soft and a very practiced rhythm. It was obvious that she was nervous, playing it for him, but nothing made his heart stop like the words on that page. He swallowed, reading the lines before looking up to her. Her fingers strummed the strings with fluid ease, though her face had look of sheer determination. Finally, she finished with a final pluck of a string before looking up to him. "It's only about half way finished, but whadya think? I got talent or what?" Giving a small smirk, he looked at the paper again. "Who...Who's this about, Ellie?"
"Buzz Aldrin. Who the fuck do you think? It's about you," Leaning in some and punching his shoulder. His eyes looked down again, lingering on the title. "Hero of Mine."
"Oh god, you hate it, don't you?"
"No, no, no. It's just that..nobodies ever done somethin' like this for me. I.. I love it, Ellie." Giving a small chuckle and giving her a small, but genuine smile. "God, don't scare me like that again you doofus." Standing, she rested the guitar against the paneling of the house and punched his shoulder again. "Oh, since it's finally gotten warm, you wanna teach me how to swim? You did promise, after all."
"No need to sound so snooty, I'll teach you after I get done watching the perimeter, okay? I got a five hour shift today. You gonna be able to entertain yourself?"
"Totally. I entertain myself all the time when I sell drugs to the local youth." Joel responded by giving her a playful shove. "Yeah, I can. I'll probably go see if Edith wants to go skip rocks, and see if she's done with that Savage Starlight issue." Since they got her, Ellie had really bonded with the local kids. There only two others close to her age, the rest being 10 or younger. They had even seen a newborn, something Joel never imagined he would've seen again. "Alright, kid. I'll meet you back her at four, alright?" Turning back towards the house, he aimed to get his hunting rifle.
Something stopped him, though. A pair of arms wrapped around his mid section, and he felt something press against his back. "Have a good day, alright?" It wasn't the first time she had hugged him, but he was still just as baffled on what to do when she did. The first time it happened, she let go and looked up and said, "you know, hugs are supposed to be like a mutual thing, it's just weird if you don't." Though she never gave him the chance again, only hugging him from behind now.
Turning his head back some, he nodded. "You too," with that, the young girl released her grip, turned on her heels and leaped off the porch to the dusty road and took off down it. He smiled some and shook his head, entering the home and going to the closet. Pulling out the hunting rifle, he grabbed a box of shells and placed him in his pocket. Closing the door, he leaned forward, resting his head on it.
Ellie got that song wrong. It shouldn't have been about him. After everything he'd done, he was the last person anyone should have called a hero. He felt something inside of him. A sting of regret was starting to fester in his belly. He had lied to Ellie. This entire life they were living was built on lies. But, if she didn't know, it wasn't hurting anybody. She was happy. For the first time in a long time, Joel knew had finally done something right. He kept someone safe. Alive. Fed. Clothed. Above all else, Joel had made someone happy.
Even if that happiness was a facade, he was going to keep it going as long as he possibly could.
AN: Sorry if that was awful to read, I promise the following ones are going to be a lot better, this is just me getting back to my writing roots. Be sure to tell me what you thought! .u.