One Good Thing
Mulder slumped down on his couch; he felt drained and exhausted. A glance at his watch told him it wasn't that late; it was only a little after seven. But he laid his head down anyway, and was ready to let sleep claim him. He drove Scully back to her apartment, after their futile visit to the empty office building. She had been left humiliated, frustrated and mad as hell after being hoodwinked by C.G.B. Spender. They barely exchanged a word after returning to his car; with both of them too lost in their own thoughts to communicate with each other. They hadn't even been able to look each other in the eye as they'd parted. Scully had mumbled something about needing to shower and change, whilst he offered only a terse goodbye before quickly driving away.
He had gone straight back to his own apartment building, but ended up just sitting in the parking garage for almost an hour. All he could think about was that man, once again holding the fate of the one person he cared about most in the whole world, in his hands. It made Mulder feel sick to his stomach to know Spender had had that power over her, and worse still, that she had given it to him. That man had tainted everything he'd ever touched, and he had destroyed Mulder's family. All he had left now was Scully, and he could have taken her away from him forever too.
The room was growing dark, but Mulder had still not fallen asleep. He wished he could just black out for a while and not have to think about anything, or anyone. Then he remembered the doctor had given him some sleeping pills, and just this once, he thought he would take one. It worked faster than he expected it too, and he was out cold by the time his phone started ringing. The answerphone was on, but the caller did not leave a message.
The next day at work was awkward, but not as bad as it could have been. Scully was out running errands for A.D Skinner for most of the day. Whether that was at his request or hers, Mulder didn't care. He was just grateful to not have to address the elephant in the room. He wasn't proud of himself for sneaking off before Scully got back to the office, but he was still feeling too hurt to make nice. Instead of going straight home as he'd originally intended, Mulder drove to a bar and lined up a few shots of vodka. He drank a couple without pausing, and then he reached for the third, when another hand swooped in to pick up the glass before he could.
"Mind if I join you?" A tall attractive brunette drawled as she sat down next to him.
Mulder just shrugged in a non-committal way, but it was all the invitation she needed.
He picked up another drink, and clinked glasses with his companion before they both downed their shots.
"My name's Betsy, and you are?" She inquired.
"Marty," he said quietly, using his sometimes pseudonym.
"Marty? Nice name," she purred.
Mulder let her witter on with just the occasional nod or grunt of acknowledgement. He didn't really want the company, but she seemed to be a harmless distraction. He was taken by surprise when he felt her hand sliding up his thigh, and towards his crotch.
"Hey!" He swatted her away.
"What's wrong Marty? I thought we were hitting it off here. How about we go somewhere with a little more privacy, huh?" She was undeterred by his reticence.
Mulder looked at Betsy properly for the first time. He could see that she was pretty enough. She might even have been his type once upon a time, but not now. The thought of a meaningless one night stand was momentarily appealing to him, but he knew he'd despise himself for it.
"No sale," he dismissed her and turned away to order himself another round of drinks.
Betsy gave him a disgusted look and then flounced off without a second glance.
He knocked back another round of vodka shots, then paid the bartender and left. Mulder was heading home this time for sure; it was his sanctuary for brooding, after all. But he decided he had better take a cab, and so wandered off to try to flag one down. A black car pulled up and the driver rolled down the window to speak to him.
"Get in," CGB Spender ordered.
"You son of a bitch," Mulder yelled back at him and kicked the side of the car.
"I know I'm probably the last person on earth you want to talk too. But I need to speak with you, about Scully," he pleaded.
"You want to tell me about how you tricked her, about how you used her and risked her life AGAIN? Save it," Mulder snarled back at him.
"I'm dying, and I know you are too. I know you haven't told her, and if you don't want her to find out, you'll come with me now," CGB Spender had lost none of his manipulating ways to his debilitating illness.
Mulder let out a roar of frustration and anger as he swung around and got into the passenger seat of the car. They drove in silence until they reached the abandoned office building he'd visited with Scully.
"Why have you brought me here? There's nothing in there," Mulder questioned.
CGB Spender didn't answer; he just got out of the car and walked up to the building with his companion reluctantly following on behind him. They proceeded on to the place that Scully had insisted was his office, and came to a standstill in the middle of the empty room. Spender reached inside his coat and pulled out a file which he then held close to his chest.
"Did you know, back in late 1991, I went through a list of twelve prospective candidates to find a partner for you? They had selected six men and six women from across the bureau for my consideration; of course I ruled the men out straight away. There would have been no sport in that now, would there?" He said with a suggestive leer.
Mulder gave him a disgusted look in reply.
"Once I'd ruled out the ones who were too much like Diana Fowley, I was left with just two options. There was a blonde agent called Marnie Bennett, with a background in forensic science and then there was agent Scully. Agent Bennett may have had the look of a cheap porn star, as I recall, but she was very methodical. If she hadn't had an astrological chart stuck next to her desk, I might have chosen her. I wasn't sure about Scully, I knew she wasn't your regular type, but there was something about her. That's the thing about someone who can rub you up the wrong way; it might be wrong at first, but eventually it starts feeling right, until in the end, it's the only way. I signed off on Scully being your new partner, even with my doubts. I protected you both as best I could, often at great personal risk and though it occasionally meant making some hard choices. She was the one good thing I ever gave you, and I was right to make her your partner," Spender explained earnestly, or at least he appeared to be, but with him you could never be sure.
"Don't talk to me about Scully, like she was ever your gift to give to me. You've used and abused her so much over the years, and you've taken advantage of everything that's good and decent about her. She trusted you again, despite everything, and you humiliated her. You needed her to get what you wanted, and you took it. I could have lost her because of you, and still you risked her life without a second thought," Mulder raged.
"I saved her life, and not for the first time. I know how much she means to you. I know you're in love with her, even if you won't let yourself admit it," the smoking man told the truth, sometimes.
Mulder snorted in dismissal but he didn't speak to deny it.
"The funny thing is, she's in love with you too," Spender laughed.
Mulder gave him a sceptical look, but the smoking man continued to smirk as he lit a cigarette.
"I told Agent Scully I was giving these up, but it's not as if they're going to kill me, right?" He snorted.
"Even if what you say about Scully and me is true, so what? You've even managed to take away our future, as well as ruin our past," Mulder said with bitterness.
"You're still here aren't you? One thing I never took you for was a coward," Spender taunted him.
"What do you even care? What are we doing here?" Mulder raged.
"Do you know what I was thinking the other day? We're like Darth Vader and Luke Skywalker; well except for Skywalker believing his father could still find redemption. But maybe all's not lost, and I can find some too," the smoking man held out the file he had been keeping and handed it to Mulder.
"What's this?" He questioned as he tentatively took hold of it.
"An X File," C.G.B. Spender smiled and turned to leave.
Mulder watched him go, as he opened the file and glanced over the words 'Soul-Eater'. He then remembered something from his own records which mentioned the same phrase. A smile spread across his face as he glimpsed the sliver of hope he'd been looking for. He went straight out of the building and hailed a cab, which he directed to take him to Georgetown.
A look at his watch told him it was almost 9pm, and he hoped Scully would be home. He knocked lightly on her apartment door and waited, but she didn't answer. He wondered if she had maybe gone somewhere after work, and thought about calling her cell phone. But then the door began to slowly open, and Scully held it just wide enough to poke her head through. She looked even paler than usual, and her eyes were red rimmed; either from crying or from tiredness, he couldn't tell which.
"Hey, Scully, I thought for a second there that you weren't home," Mulder said as he tucked his phone back into his pocket.
"Well, here I am," she said without betraying any emotion.
"Can I come inside?" He asked when she didn't invite him in.
He was concerned about her, and he had gone there to make amends, after all.
Scully seemed to consider his request for a moment, before she opened the door wider to let him enter. She was still wearing her work clothes, although her blouse had not been tucked properly into her skirt, and there was a ladder in her pantyhose. She gestured for Mulder to sit down and she did likewise, but she chose the seat furthest from his. He was worried about her unusually dishevelled state, and he couldn't keep from staring at her. Scully noticed his eyes on her and she gave him an annoyed look in return. But there was something else there too; it was a fragility he rarely saw in her.
"Scully, is everything okay?" He sat on the edge of his seat and leaned towards her.
"What did you come here for?" She ignored his question and instead posed her own.
"I, um, I wanted to apologise for leaving work before you got back to the office, and for giving you the cold shoulder. I need you to understand Scully, that what you did hurt me. Not because of why you did it, but because you went willingly to what could have been your death. He didn't have to force you, or abduct you, and I know why you chose to go with him, but I could have lost you," he had tears in his eyes.
He wanted to go further, and tell her that she mattered more to him than any proof of extraterrestrial life that they could hold in their hands. He wanted to tell her how much he loved her, but the words would not come out.
"What do you want me to say, Mulder? I've risked everything for you, so many times. My career, my health, my life; I've put them on the line again and again. It's always been all for you," Scully's voice started to break with emotion.
He had a sudden moment of realisation about his selfishness and her selflessness, and he felt thoroughly ashamed of himself. He sat with his eyes cast down to the floor for a long moment, contemplating his own wretchedness. Then the sound of sniffling jolted him from his self-pity, as he realised Scully was crying. He got up and went to put his arms around her. But she shrank away from him, and rejected the comfort he was offering.
"Leave me alone," she pleaded, but he didn't move.
Mulder reached out his hand to wipe away a tear from her cheek. She looked up at him and their eyes locked.
"Do you want to hear something really funny?" She asked in a way that suggested there would be no humour at all in whatever it was.
Mulder nodded all the same.
"I stared death in the face today, and it didn't come in the shape of an unknown monster, or a man with great power. It came in the form of a desperate young man who didn't even know or care who I was," she calmly explained.
"What?" Mulder was suddenly frantic.
"I had to call in at the store on my way home, and while I was picking out what I went in there for, this young guy pulled a gun on the cashier. He was extremely nervy and it looked like he was high on something. The cashier was giving the guy the money from the register, when he suddenly spotted me. I guess my coat was hanging open a little, and he must've seen my gun. The next thing I know he's taking aim at me, and I was about to try and talk him down when I took a bad step and fell over a display stand. The bullet flew over my head as he fired it, and then he grabbed the money and ran out of there. I'm either incredibly lucky or incredibly unlucky, I haven't decided which yet," Scully shrugged.
"Oh my god, Scully?" Mulder wrapped his arms tightly around her and held her so close to his chest he was in danger of crushing the breath from her body.
She squirmed to get him to ease off, but he just held onto her like he was never going to let go. Finally, she had to speak up, just so she could get some air into her lungs.
"Mulder, please, I need to breathe."
He pulled back slightly but didn't release her altogether, and then his hands started to roam frantically over her body.
"Are you hurt anywhere?" He questioned.
She drew back sharply as his hand travelled along the leg that was sheathed in the ripped stocking. Whether her reaction had been caused by pain, or something else, he couldn't tell.
"I'm fine, really," she tried to reassure him.
Mulder pulled her back into his arms taking care to make sure that he didn't crush her this time. One of his hands was in her hair and his lips were close to her ear.
"Why didn't you call me?" He whispered.
"I, I don't know. I just got home and sat here in the dark feeling like I was the only person left in the whole world," she sighed with sadness.
"There's a big difference between being alone and being lonely, and I've never minded being alone. But sometimes I feel so lonely that I wish…" Scully stopped just short of revealing her innermost desires.
Mulder knew what she wanted to say anyway, because he wished for the same thing. He deeply breathed in her scent and began to feel intoxicated by it. He started to softly kiss her face and she shuddered with surprise as his lips moved to her neck.
"Mulder?" She gasped.
Scully was filled with uncertainty and wondered about the wisdom of taking things any further.
He started to gently explore her body with his hands, and she couldn't stop a moan of pleasure from escaping her lips. Scully knew she didn't want him to stop, not just because he was saving her from the loneliest of nights, but because she had wanted him for longer than she dared to admit.
"Stay?" She requested in a voice so low it was little more than a breathy whisper.
But Mulder heard, and he stayed.
THE END.