Hi guys Happy New Years! I hope everyone enjoyed their holidays. I'm glad to be back with a small one shot I thought of for fun. I think it tests a lot of inner strength of a person and specifically Kagome. I'm glad people enjoyed my last Inuyasha short story so I made a few one shots. Enjoy and review!
Ness
"But why do you need to go back?" Inuyasha whined and I rolled my eyes.
"Because I have a very important test to study for." I replied for what seemed like the millionth time in under ten minutes. "It's for a few days."
"We can't afford a few days! You leave for days at a time when we could be getting closer to killing Naraku." His brows scrunched together and his lips turned into a scowl, clearly annoyed. I pushed my fists on top of my hips and pursed my lips.
"I don't know if you have any idea but I live another life too! In my world, we have to study to get good grades and pass."
"Your world is stupid." He retorted and for a moment he looked like a child ready to stomp his foot because he wasn't getting his way. I opened my mouth to snap back when Sango jumped in.
"Kagome's right, Inuyasha." She said. "She has to go and attend matters that are important to her in her era. We have our customs and she has hers." I smiled at her and Inuyasha threw her a dirty look.
"Of course you agree with her." He mumbled.
"We are five hundred years apart, after all." Miroku added and Inuyasha screwed his eyes shut, growling in response.
"This is ridiculous! Whatever, do your crap and come back." He crossed his arms and I felt my arm twitch in anger.
"Why is it you always get mad at something I want?" I shouted and Miroku sighed, banging his forehead against his staff. Inuyasha narrowed his eyes but remained quiet. "You're so irritating." I ground my teeth and pivoted on my heel, heading in the opposite direction than we originally planned. With any luck, we would reach the outskirts of Kaede's village by night time and by morning I could go home.
"Do you like getting her angry?" I heard Shippo ask Inuyasha with a layer of annoyance covering his voice. A loud thump followed afterwards along with Shippo's yelp.
"Inuyasha. Sit boy." I fisted my hand, hearing his body crash against the ground. I resumed my walking and let him continue to mumble idle threats towards me.
"Hey you're alright, right, Kagome?" Sango asked while holding Kirara in her arms. I nodded and sighed, fixing the quiver that was slung over my shoulder.
"Yeah, I'm used to it by now. He always makes a problem when I want to go home." Sango tossed a look over her shoulder before speaking.
"It's his way of showing he cares, I think." It was, but it was also because it slowed down our journey.
"I think this is a good camp spot." Miroku said and we turned to see him already analyzing where he would be sleeping. "Any objections?"
"Nope."
"Not from me."
"Keh," Inuyasha turned his face away from us and looked out at the sky. Miroku put his staff against the bark of a tree and rubbed his hands.
"Let's set up camp." Within moments, we had our fire started and everyone was warming themselves up from the chilly night. The days were beautiful here in the feudal era, sunny and warm that brought out the most positive attitude in anyone, but in the night it did drop a few degrees.
Inuyasha was propped up against the bark of the tree, cradling Tetsusaiga in his arms and staring into the fire. We hadn't uttered a single word to one another and we barely looked in each other's direction. It did make it a little awkward between everyone, but they were used to it and tried to divert my mind off of it.
He was always making a big deal if I went home. I can understand his need for revenge but I do have other things to do. Like passing classes and taking entrance exams. I gulped and shivered at the dreaded thought. Once I go to high school, my life will become even harder. I will have so much more work that I'll have to be away from everyone for a longer period of time.
"Kagome, you okay?" Shippo asked, the reflection of the flame glowed against his concerned eyes. I smiled and nodded.
"Yeah, sorry. I was totally spaced out." Suddenly a familiar sound reached all of our ears, causing us to look up.
"Soul Collectors." Miroku murmured and I held my breath. Kikyo. She was nearby, she had to be, otherwise her soul collectors wouldn't be around. Almost unwillingly, I turned my head to look at Inuyasha, whose eyes were trained to the soul collectors. His fingers tightened around his sword and his jaw flexed, but other than that not a single muscle moved from his body. Inuyasha jumped up on his feet and placed his sword in its rightful place.
"Where are you going?" Sango questioned but the answer was plainly obvious. Even she knew it.
"To see Kikyo." My chest felt constricted and a throbbing sensation dashed through my body. His eyes flickered to me but I looked anywhere but at him. I didn't want to see his eyes and their sympathy and guilt. "To see if she has any information over Naraku."
"Right." Shippo drawled sarcastically. "You know what they say about a dog's first owner." A loud thump echoed and I saw Inuyasha's fist connect with the top of Shippos's head, his teeth bared at the little fox demon. Shippo held onto his head and glared at him. "What was that for?"
"Shut it you little runt!" He whipped around on his heel and ran like lightening in the direction the Soul Collectors went. Shippo was left muttering angrily under his breath while Sango gave me a sympathetic smile.
"And he's off." Miroku shook his head. "That man has to get his life together."
"I don't know how you can let him go, Kagome." Sango ran her fingers down Kirara's fur, causing her to meow.
"It's not up to me." I shrugged.
"If I was in your place." Sango growled, fisting her hand. "I would knock some sense into him until he understood what he was doing." Miroku nervously laughed and swallowed, carefully gauging Sango's reaction.
"It's not just any woman." Shippo argued. "It's basically Kagome in her before life—" He turned to look at me with his head tilted and curiosity. "Right?" I nibbled on my bottom lip.
"Kagome and Kikyo are two separate people, Shippo." Sango countered.
"But don't they have the same soul?"
"Technically Lady Kikyo is living off of many different souls—"
"But part of my soul still resides in her." I mumbled while looking at my finger nails. From when Urasei took my soul to put it back into Kikyo…I couldn't call it all back to me. So we are connected.
"But essentially they do share it." Miroku finished. "That doesn't mean that they're the same person. Lady Kikyo and Kagome aren't the same as a whole person."
"I don't understand this reincarnation stuff." Shippo held his head and then shuddered. "I have a question."
"Which is?"
"If Inuyasha loves Kagome and loves Kikyo, does that mean he loves the same woman?" My breathing hitched and I blinked down at Shippo. Everyone else froze too, unable to think of a quick retaliation. My heart was racing at the thought of Inuyasha actually being in love with me but at the same time I felt nailed to the spot.
"I don't believe so, Shippo." Miroku crossed his arms across his chest. "Generally the idea is that this is Lady Kikyo in another life, but realistically Lady Kikyo has passed away, giving way to Kagome as a different being."
"What I think Miroku is trying to explain, Shippo, is that no, Inuyasha does not love the same woman by caring for both Kikyo and Kagome." She made herself more comfortable. "Inuyasha cares for Kagome because of who she is and how she acts, independently from being Kikyo's reincarnation."
"So he sees them as separate women?"
"Yes." Miroku affirmed with a stern nod.
"But how—" I shuffled to my feet and dusted off my skirt. Everyone's eyes followed me, curious.
"I'm going for a walk." I stated and Shippo's tail turned downward, his eyes suddenly cloudy.
"I'm sorry, Kagome." He apologized, walking closer to me with his hands clasped under his chin. My brows scrunched together. "I didn't mean to upset you." My features softened and I bent down, so that we were eye-level.
"You didn't upset me, Shippo. You were curious and you have every right to ask."
"But—"
"It's okay. Trust me." He looked at me from beneath his lashes, unsure.
"Okay." He replied softly. "Promise?" I stuck my pinky out and he instantly interlocked his with mine.
"Pinky promise." A smile spread across his face and he nodded. I had taught him what pinky promises meant in my time a short while ago and he was fascinated. Whenever we did them he felt a new sense of almost responsibility to always tell the truth or keep his promise. I stood up straight and walked down the small hill we were positioned, until I couldn't hear Sango and Miroku's low whispers.
The night sky was so dark, but it was illuminated by the shining stars of the night that added a certain beauty. Sceneries like this weren't seen in my time because of all the street lights that block it. I sat down, folding my legs to the side and staring up at the sky.
I wonder what Inuyasha and Kikyo are talking about?
He immediately ran when he saw the Soul Collectors, meaning that he was desperate for a glimpse of her. I couldn't blame him, he still harbored feelings of love towards her. Feelings that never died, even though she did. It was beautiful in a simplistic form of way; a love that loved even after death. That's what led to my birth—Kikyo's love for Inuyasha and her desire to see him.
I sighed. It was something poetic and tragic. Something that maybe Shakespeare would have written about, but when you're on the other side observing it all…it's painful. I felt a choking sensation the moment Kikyo and Inuyasha's eyes connected because of the emotions that passed through them. I knew that my feelings were wrong and irrational because I had no right to feel that way…but I did. And god did it hurt. Even after the kiss Inuyasha and I shared, when Kaguya nearly turned him into a full demon, I felt this jealousy towards Kikyo.
Leaning back against my hands, I felt the softness of the grass that brushed my palms. My life has changed radically since I've travelled here. The future and the past are intertwined, but truly, I couldn't ask for anything different. There's something about this place that attaches me, I'm not sure if it's the fact that I lived here in a former life that makes me feel at peace here, or the fact that Inuyasha is here.
Girls my age are studying or falling in love for the first time with their boyfriends, their biggest complication what presents they were going to exchange for Valentine's Day. I fell in love with Inuyasha, someone with many flaws but even more redeeming qualities, and I feel more confused by it every day.
The moon was glowing in the sky like nothing I'd ever seen and I couldn't help but let my mind wander back to Inuyasha. I hope he comes back soon. He was probably happy to see her and they probably embraced for a long time. I took a deep breath. He's always happy when matters pertained to Kikyo and I couldn't help but think that if Naraku hadn't deceived them, they'd probably be great-grandparents or in their graves somewhere by now, resting peacefully beside one another.
"If it wasn't for Naraku, Inuyasha would've married Kikyo and I wouldn't have been born." I hugged my legs close to my chest and rested my chin on top of my knees. "The Sacred Jewel would've been dissolved." Maybe Inuyasha would have stopped fighting and been more at ease. Maybe he wouldn't be as volatile as he is now.
I didn't have the energy to be mad at him when he came back. Hurt? Yes. I was hurt but I couldn't bring myself to yell at him. His heart still lingers in the past somewhere with Kikyo, it searches for that love that they shared fifty years ago. I stared up at the sky and rubbed my lips together.
"I want you to be happy, Inuyasha." I whispered softly into the wind. "However that's achieved." The breeze blew through my hair and the smell of fresh grass hit my senses. I've been gone for a while and I'd prefer not to see Inuyasha when he got back. I stood up and walked back up the hill, watching as Miroku's eyes started to fail him, slipping into sleep. Shippo laid sprawled across my sleeping bag and the only person waiting for me was Sango. She sat on top of her legs, waiting with a patient smile.
"Are you feeling more relieved?" I nodded and sat down beside her.
"Yes. Thank you."
"Sometimes I think everyone needs a breather." She stared up at the sky and gave a short chuckle. "It's funny how nature can ail us when even we can't ail ourselves."
"I think it's because it just listens and never judges."
"I think so too. You're leaving tomorrow morning right?"
"Yes."
"Then you should get some rest. You have an early morning and a lot of studying." Her lips quirked up and I giggled. "I'm going to sleep too. Come Kirara." The faithful twin-tail jumped into Sango's lap. She curled into a ball and laid on the ground, closing her eyes peacefully. I slid into my sleeping bag, careful to not disturb Shippo and sighed while gripping the edge. Come back soon, Inuyasha.
Fixing my backpack over my shoulder, I glanced back at everyone and smiled.
"I'll be back soon!"
"Take care, Kagome." Sango waved with a bright smile on her face. "Good luck on your exams."
"Thank you." Miroku cleared his throat and raised an eyebrow at Inuyasha.
"Aren't you going to say goodbye to Kagome?" Inuyasha opened his mouth to say something but I shook my head.
"It's okay, Miroku. I'll see you when I come back." Swinging my legs over the well I dropped myself in and saw the light that engulfed me as I made my way back to my time.
As soon as I got home I ate and plopped down to study for the rest of the night. Mom checked up on me and grandpa was in the shed organizing his things. I bit the end of my pencil, trying to understand the Pythagorean Theorem. I simply didn't understand how a-squared plus b-squared equaling c-squared would help me in the future. Growling in frustration, I rolled my seat back and threw my head to look at the ceiling, releasing a breath.
"I'm surprised Inuyasha hasn't come to see me yet." Come on Kagome, you can't keep wondering stuff like that. You came back home to study not to wonder about the past. Letting the air fill my lungs, I sat straight got back to work, setting my alarm for one a.m. to know when to stop studying.
"How do you guys think you did?" Eri asked with a sullen expression. Yuka's frown deepened and she shook her head.
"I'd rather not talk about it." She breathed. "I can't believe I studied for so long and only knew three questions for certain."
"Oh come on, have a little faith in yourselves." I clapped, skipping backwards. They gave me strange looks.
"What has you in such a good mood?" Eri asked and I twirled around before falling back into walking rhythm with them.
"I think I did really well on my exam." I squealed excitedly. "I knew all those hours would pay off." All those hours away from Feudal Japan helped clear my mind for enough time to focus. Eri twisted her lips.
"Of course it worked, you're smart. Math isn't hard for you to understand."
"Don't exaggerate so much guys." Ayumi smiled while holding on to the straps of her back pack. "The test wasn't that hard." Eri and Yuka's face crumbled and I started laughing out loud.
"Say Kagome, want to come over my house? We're all going to head back there and eat our hearts away after today's test." Yuka suggested kindly, but I shook my head with a smile.
"I can't you guys, I'm sorry." They scowled and I clasped my hands under my chin. "I'll make it up to you. Promise. I just have to go take care of something." Yuka observed me for a moment before nodding and breaking into a smile.
"Okay, but remember, you owe us." Eri and Ayumi nodded and I laughed.
"Okay." We parted ways with a wave and I made my way back home, running straight to the well. Since I finished my test, I can go back earlier and surprise Inuyasha. Hopping into the well, I transported back to the past and climbed out. Everything was exactly as I left it but yet it felt different.
I frowned, confused as to why it seemed oddly quiet. There was no yelling Inuyasha nor a taunting Shippo. I scanned the area but there was no sign of my friends nearby. They're probably at Kaede's since they didn't know I was coming.
Following the similar path I always took to Kaede's, her hut came into view. The villagers were walking around animatedly going about their business.
"Hi," I greeted to a group of older men who had tools slung over their shoulder. They were chatting avidly amongst themselves, but stopped when they heard me and turned in my direction. Their eyes went wide and their smiles slipped from their faces, letting their jaws hang. They didn't say anything, nor did they recover from their gauging reactions. I squirmed but settled for another smile. "Um, have a nice day." Again, they said nothing and it made me feel as though they'd never seen me.
"Did you see those absurd cloths she wore?" I heard a harsh whisper and frowned, whipping around to look at them, but they went back to chatting and working. My fingers picked at the hem of my skirt, twiddling with the fabric.
"They've seen me with this since I got here." I mumbled to myself as I shrugged. I wasn't going to dwell on it, they probably still aren't used to it.
"Sango! Shippo!" I called out while cupping my hands by my lips. "Miroku!" There was no response. How odd…
"Inuyasha!" Nothing. "Come on, you can't still be upset at me." Knowing him and the way he operated, I knew he was. "Inuyasha I have ramen." I taunted. "Inuyasha! Inuyasha!" The flap of Kaede's hut was lifted and I saw the familiar red outfit, allowing my muscles to relax.
"Who keeps calling my name?" Inuyasha came into full view, making me gasp loudly. His silver hair was black, his golden eyes were dark with a hue of violet in them and his claws were gone—he had regular nails.
"Inuyasha…" I whispered and he whipped his head in my direction, blinking rapidly. "What are you doing outside like this?" I took a step forward but he remained unmoving. "Better yet, why are you human? It's daylight."
"Who are you?" He demanded gruffly, eyeing me suspiciously, and this time it was my turn to blink.
"What?" I stuttered. "Come on you're not still mad at what happened last night." His brows scrunched together and he stepped back. I noticed that Tetsusaiga wasn't by his side which seemed odd.
"I'll ask again, who are you?" He repeated in a harsher tone.
"It's me. Kagome." I insisted, taking another step closer but his eyes narrowed even more.
"I don't know a Kagome." He barked back and I winced at his tone. "Leave."
"Inuyasha, it's me! I'm your friend—"
"I don't have friends." Friends? Friends!
"Where are Miroku and Sango?" I questioned hurriedly. "They'll know who I am."
"I don't know a Miroku or a Sango."
"What? They're our friends!" His hand tightened on the edge of the hut. "What about Shippo? Where's Shippo?"
"I said I don't know them." He hissed angrily and I felt the blood drain from my face.
"This isn't possible." I gazed at my hands and heard soft footsteps. "Where's Tetsusaiga?"
"Wh—"
"Your sword!"
"What the hell are you talking about? I don't have any damn sword." His voice was menacing.
"Who are ye barking at, Inuyasha?" The familiar soothing voice of Kaede became present and she appeared in her priestess attire but looked…younger. Her dark brown hair was pulled back but her face was young and her eye shined with life.
"Get back inside, Kaede." He ordered but she stepped in front of him, looking at me and gasping.
"Kaede," I begged. "Please tell me you remember me."
"Who are ye? And why do ye look like my sister?" Inuyasha glared at me and I froze.
"I—" This can't be. "It's me. I'm Kagome. You know me." She blinked and looked up at Inuyasha. I felt like I was repeating myself with no success.
"Inuyasha." We all turned around and I saw Kikyo walking towards us with a little child in her arms. She was laughing freely and playing with the child's fingers. Her attire was a regular kimono rather than her priestess attire and her lips were painted with rouge, bringing a new angle of beauty to her face.
"Kikyo." He whispered. I glimpsed at him and saw the smile that graced his face, the look of pure untainted adoration that reflected off of him. He looked at her like she was his life and that child…was his life. That was his son—it was impossible to miss, let alone doubt. He looked like Inuyasha but with Kikyo's porcelain skin.
"Isuke had a lot of fun helping me pick flowers." She murmured with a giggle and the child waved at Inuyasha. My heart thumped harshly against my ears and I felt my fingers tingle. Kikyo turned to me and frowned.
"Kikyo get away." Inuyasha warned.
"Who is this?" She asked politely. "May I ask your name?"
"She says it's Kagome." Kaede answered while staring at the both of us. Standing before Kikyo, we both looked over one another, at our similarities. I knew she was freaked out by it, there was a glint of fear in her eyes.
"Isuke, go play with the kids." She placed the child on the ground and he glanced at me with a tilted head before running off. "You look like me."
"I've been told."
"Would you join us?" She offered and I nodded without even thinking. Inuyasha gripped her wrist with alarm in his eyes.
"Kikyo, what are you doing?" She looked up at him with a peaceful expression and placed a hand on his chest, calming him.
"Trust me, won't you?" He released his stiff muscles and gave her long look before nodding. Their interaction was fluid and sweet. "Please, come in." She went ahead of him and waved me inside. As I passed by, Inuyasha's eyes never left me but their usual familiar gentleness was gone. In place was crass hostility.
Kaede's hut was slightly different. There was two futons instead of one and I assumed one had to be Inuyasha's…child. Kikyo folded her legs and sat down, patiently waiting for me to do the same. Kaede took a seat beside me and Inuyasha plopped down beside Kikyo and that's when I noticed that his features weren't so boyish anymore. Instead, his face seemed to mature, with his features sharpening out more making the face I came to know so well, look a little older. As I looked at Kikyo, I noticed her face matured more than Inuyasha's but there was no doubt that her beauty lived on and that she looked happy. Awkwardly, I sat down across from them.
"So, Kagome, may I ask what you are exactly." Kikyo inquired looking over me.
"I—" How was I supposed to explain anything to them? "I'm your reincarnation from the future." I suppose the blunt truth was one way to go. Inuyasha's face turned to one of disbelief and Kaede's eye widened, but the only one that remained unchanging was Kikyo herself.
"That's stupid!" Inuyasha rehashed gruffly but Kikyo lifted a hand to halt him.
"The future?" She repeated and I nodded, looking at the floor.
"This is unbelievable." Kaede breathed. "How are we to know that this is true? She could be fibbing."
"I have no reason to be lying." I explained. "Honest."
"There's one way to find out." Kaede lifted from her seated position and gripped my face, twisting it from side to side and analyzing my face like the very first time. I waited patiently, knowing the answer. "It's true. It is there, sister." Kikyo pressed her lips together.
"I am alive, however, why would I need a reincarnation?"
"You originally died and that was why I was born."
"What?" Inuyasha snapped and I glared at him.
"Will you let me finish?" I shot back and Kikyo smiled at him.
"Let her finish, my beloved." My eyes fell to his neck and I noticed that the beads of subjugation were missing. Does that mean Kikyo never used them on him?
"Keh."
"I know the story of you two." I looked at them and saw them quickly glance at each other. "You protected the Shikon Jewel and by the looks of you, you used it to become human." Inuyasha tucked his hands into his robe and settled more into his seat.
"How would you know that?"
"I told you. I know this story but Naraku killed you Kikyo." I turned to her. "And you pinned Inuyasha to a tree with the arrow of sealing."
"Okay." Inuyasha stood up roughly with a snarl. "I can't listen to her anymore. I don't care what anyone says. She's an imposter." I flinched at his words and felt a pressure in my chest. "Kikyo is obviously alive and with me. There is no such person as Naraku."
If Naraku isn't alive…that's impossible. He sold his soul to hundreds of demons to become who he is. But if Kikyo and Inuyasha are together then that means that he never summoned those demons to create that wish. Did the jewel disappear?
"If he's not alive by Naraku then he goes by Onigumo."
"What would ye know about Onigumo?" Kaede pressed with a dangerously slit eye. Her tone sounded like a test and suddenly I felt more nervous than before.
"I know he was a thief that was burned badly and that you and Kikyo cared for his wounds, but I also know that you didn't trust him and told Kikyo that on more than one occasion. He loved Kikyo." Kaede's face lightened up and she looked amazed at my words but I seemed more lost than ever. "Onigumo summoned hundreds of demons to feast on his body in exchange for a brand new one so that he could take Kikyo. That exchange led to the birth of Naraku."
"You can't seriously be believing these made up stories." Inuyasha exasperated and I glowered in his direction.
"Look at me!" I screamed crazed. "Do I look like I belong in this time period?" His head swiveled to me and his skeptical eyes analyzed me, taking in my words.
"No." He gritted.
"You know me." I insisted. "I'm your friend, Inuyasha."
"I don't know how you know me but I have no damn idea who you are." I hung my head and bit my lip.
"Inuyasha, settle down. Please." Kikyo's smooth voice chastised. "It is possible that this girl's story is in fact true. After all, many things are possible or have you forgotten that since your transformation into a human." She cracked a smile but he remained silent. "Please forgive him, he's untrusting of people." He's not anymore. He's put his trust in us—in me.
"Then what are you doing in this time period, stupid girl?" He rebuffed.
"I broke the seal you were in and in turn shattered the Shikon Jewel. I stayed with you to help you collect every shard." Kikyo glanced at him and he tightened his lips. "You wanted to complete it originally to become a full demon."
"Is your brain broken?" He attacked as he glowered at me. "Clearly, I'm a human."
"I'm only telling you what I know!" I quipped in a clipped tone. "You did want to become a full-fledged demon at one point." His stance lost some of its aggressiveness and his lips zipped shut. Even before I freed him from the tree he wanted to use the jewel to be a full demon. Before he fell in love with Kikyo, he intended to steal it from her for his use. He only wanted to be human after their love bloomed and they wanted to share their life together.
"Then why are you here now? The jewel doesn't exist."
"What?"
"It was purified with Inuyasha's desire to become a human."
"It worked…" I whispered, covering my mouth. Looking at his form, I traced the outline of where his ears used to be. He had arrogance to him but he somehow lacked certainty of himself. He seemed incomplete and somewhat uneasy. "What's going on?"
"Ye called for a Miroku, Sango and Shippo?"
"Yes. Do you know them?" Kaede shook her head and I slumped. If this is almost fifty years prior to when I came to release Inuyasha, then that means that they're not even born yet.
"Are they not with ye?"
"No. I thought they were here, in your hut."
"This is not my hut." Kaede interjected. "This is my sister's and Inuyasha's. I live beside them." If Kikyo didn't die…then that means Kaede didn't grow up alone. They stayed here to create a family. "These people ye asked for, know us?"
"They're my friends." I murmured. "They're our friends. But—" I rubbed the back of my neck before looking back up at Inuyasha. "Do you really not recognize me, Inuyasha?" I asked and he shook his head.
"No." My breathing became more rapid and I stood up, smiling down at Kikyo.
"Thank you for your hospitality. I'm going for a walk." She nodded.
"Please." I dashed past them and made it outside, where the air seemed less dense. I was suffocating slowly and my mind was jumbled with so many questions. My friends… Inuyasha… He stares at me with coldness and there's not a bit of recognition in his eyes. He's never met me before.
The sudden realization hurt me and I gripped my chest, walking further away. All the times we shared were a memory—a memory I'd soon forget, just like him. I didn't want to forget him, I wanted to travel by his side, but he had a family now.
"No." I shook my head. Looking from the outskirts of the little village, I saw Inuyasha walk out with Kikyo's hand looped through his arm and her head on his arm. He looked at her with a small smile and suddenly turned to the loud squeals of their son, Isuke, who ran to them. Inuyasha bent down to grab him, his frame broader than when I knew him, and kissed his cheek. Kikyo brushed her hand across Isuke's dark locks and he made funny noises, making them laugh. Inuyasha's whole body radiated happiness and the picture looked complete as I looked on. This is right, this is how it should've been for him if Naraku didn't intervene. He's genuinely happy and in love.
I felt my eyes well with tears involuntarily and I covered my mouth. There's no space for me anymore. Neither in this world nor in his heart. Everything I ever feared displayed in front of my eyes. Inuyasha looked over his shoulder as if sensing my eyes and saw me, pressing his lips together before looking away.
Walking to the well with slow precision, I felt out of place. I kicked a rock, nearly tripping on my own two feet in the process. There was a broken bow beside the well so I bent down and gripped it, running my fingers over the line.
"Don't tell me you're an archer in your time too?" A gruff voice startled me, nearly tipping me over. I shot up and placed a hand over my heart.
"You scared me!"
"I see." Inuyasha's ever-analyzing eyes looked at me and then he jutted his chin at the broken bow.
"No we don't need archery in my time but I learned here. You suggested I learn to protect myself." I tightened my fingers on the bow and briefly closed my eyes.
"Are you any good at it?" He questioned with plain distrust in his eyes. It was true, he didn't believe a word I said let alone trust me.
"You mean am I any good like Kikyo?" I raised a brow. "She's a master archer, but I'm slowly getting there." I gave him an awkward smile that he didn't return. "Your son is beautiful, Inuyasha." His eyes glittered when I mentioned his son and I knew he wasn't all heartless.
"You have to understand that it's hard to believe what you told us."
"I can imagine." I whispered.
"I don't know what it is about you, but I feel—relief to see you." He looked upset to say that but my heart lifted with joy. Maybe I'm not so indifferent to him now. He has to recall me… "Did you know me as this? A human?" I shook my head, a smile threatening to spread on my lips.
"No. I mean sort of. I knew you as a half-demon but I also encountered your human side and your full demon side because I journeyed with you. You basically act the same, so nothing's changed in that aspect."
"Keh." He snorted, tucking his hands into his sleeves. "I'm still adjusting to this lifestyle." So he wasn't completely comfortable as a human. That was expected seeing as he's been fighting and on high alert for almost all his life. He craned his neck and stared into the well. "So this is where you go to get to your time?"
"Yes. For some reason this well links our times."
"Stranger things have happened." He shrugged.
"You're happy, right Inuyasha?" His brows scrunched together and he took a moment.
"Yes. More than anything. I have my family which is all I need." It felt as though he would've slapped me in the face. I swallowed. "Listen, Kagome, I think you need to return to your own time. Live your life and forget everything about this time. You don't belong here and you're not needed." I blinked, my mouth flopping like a fish as my brain tried to process his words. "I mean the jewel isn't in existence anymore so there's no reason for you to travel to a time that is not yours."
"But Inuy—"
"I have Kikyo and my family to attend to, I can't be entertaining this idea of what supposedly we lived." He pressed his lips firmly. "Listen, my human body is a lot more susceptible to caring and sympathy so this is hard for me to even say." He growled to himself. "You have a family you probably need to return to. Go home to your own time, Kagome, and don't return." I felt wet tears slide down my cheeks and his features softened. "I—please don't cry."
"You don't want me to stay with you?"
"I don't know you." He shot back and I wrapped my hands around my stomach. "Go. Please." He stepped back and turned to head back in the direction of the village. "You're a beautiful young girl, Kagome. Return to your own people and your own world." He walked away, leaving me a crying mess.
When his body was no longer in my view, I shriveled into myself and sobbed. My body shook with tremors and I pressed arms against my body, hoping it would relieve something. Some of this pain. Inuyasha doesn't want me near him. He doesn't know me. I braced a hand against the well and wiped my eyes, taking everything in around me.
I had to go home; I didn't belong in this era, I had no purpose here anymore. Could I possibly live the normal life of a modern teenage girl from my time? No. I knew the answer almost as soon as I thought of the question. There would always be a piece of me that would long for this place and would long to see Inuyasha. There's a connection between us and even though I return home, I cannot forget about everything I know I've lived. I can try to move on whichever way I can.
"Inuyasha." I whispered softly. "I'm so glad you've found your happiness." Even if I wasn't by to share it with you. I swung my legs over the well and dropped in, feeling my body leave a place it was so attuned to. The smell of damp grass and nature slowly disappeared from my nose and I knew I was no longer in Inuyasha's time period.
"Kagome!" That was my mom's voice. "Oh Kagome where are you?" She called with worry in her tone. I stood with my hands fisted by my side, screwing my eyes shut as she continued to call me. I slumped against the wall of the well and slid down, crying against my hands. "Kagome? Kagome sweetheart what's wrong?" I shook my head, pressing my palms against my eyes.
"Kagome? Kagome!" Firm hands gripped my shoulders and shook me gently. My eyes flew open and I gasped for air, staring up and seeing familiar faces. Shippo, Miroku and Sango hovered over me with furrowed brows.
"Are you okay?" Shippo's tone was coaxed with concern. Sango slapped the hands that were on my shoulders away and was suddenly the only person in my view. She placed her hand against my cheek and gasped.
"She's burning up." She suddenly moved over and golden eyes filled with anxiety came into view.
"Kagome." He put a hand to my forehead and frowned. "What's wrong?" I jolted from sleeping bag and assaulted him. My arms locked around his neck and my face buried in his chest as my sobs ripped through my chest. He remained rigid at first, surprised by my action before relaxing.
"What just happened?" Shippo asked and I could imagine everyone shrugging.
"Not sure." Miroku whispered. My body shook with my crying and I felt a hand behind my head and a hand on my back, rubbing soothing patterns, as I hung onto him for dear life.
"Kagome, what's wrong?" Inuyasha's voice was gentle and cautious but I shook my head, refusing to divulge into any information for the moment. I interlaced my fingers behind his neck and pressed myself further into his chest.
"I think you should apologize." Miroku suggested in a knowing tone.
"For what?" Inuyasha shot back.
"You can't be serious." Sango said in disbelief. "Where were you again?"
"You made Kagome cry because of that?" Shippo had some traces of anger in his voice.
"No!" Inuyasha defended himself. "I mean I didn't mean to…I-I don't know if I did." He pulled back slightly but not far enough for me to let go. Suddenly I was scooped up, without breaking contact. "We're going to talk. Alone." Air whoosed past me but I didn't mind, I just felt comforted for the moment with this connection.
The air felt brisker and thinner from before. The sounds of murmuring were gone and I could barely hear the crackling of the fire. My body was adjusted and I heard Inuyasha grunt as he removed Tetsusaiga from his side. His arm supported my back and he waited a moment before saying anything.
"Kagome." He said softly. "Hey," He shook me softly. "Open your eyes." Though my mind was reluctant to open my eyes, for fear of what I would see, my body willed my eyes to open. We weren't on ground level anymore and as I took in the surroundings, I saw we were perched on a branch of a tree at the bottom of the hill. Miroku, Sango and Shippo were nowhere in sight, but Inuyasha's hold on me was still present. "Look at me." My eyes turned up to him but I had to blink away a few tears to see a clear focus of him. His face was filled with slight fear—his brows were pushed together, his lips were downturned and his eyes were examining me repeatedly, probably for any sign of an injury. "Talk to me."
"When did you get back?" My throat felt extremely parched from all my crying but I pushed that to the back of my mind. His frown deepened but he never removed his eyes from me.
"Not long ago." He swallowed. "I came back and saw everyone over you. You were crying in your sleep, Kagome." I looked down to cut eye contact. "Did I upset you?"
"I haven't left for my test?" I wondered with slight disbelief. He looked bewildered but shook his head.
"No. It's still night time." He answered and I sat up against him so I wasn't in a cradled position. I saw the night sky was still pitch black with the abundance of stars lighting it up. The moon was in perfect position and the breeze cooled the heat from my face. It was all a dream…I never left in the first place. Inuyasha just came back from speaking with Kikyo. "What's going on? Are you hurt?" He placed a hand on my arm and quickly did another one-over scan.
"No." I shook my head. "I had a nightmare."
"A nightmare?" He repeated questioningly. "About what?" I felt uncomfortable to talk about it, because I knew it was stupid for anyone else who heard it. I was being overdramatic.
"I would rather not talk about it." There was a small silence and the whistle of the breeze.
"Kagome, tell me." His eyes were stern and his lips were in a straight line. My fingers gripped the branch and I took a deep breath.
"I left to take my test—" His eyes released their tight hold.
"Those tests are always making you upset." He retorted. "You should never take them again—"
"I came back and everyone was gone." He froze and blinked.
"What do you mean?"
"Miroku, Shippo and Sango weren't here. You were but you were—" He leaned closer to me. "You were human." He looked at me as if I would've grown four extra heads.
"That's ridiculous."
"I know." I responded shortly. "It was day time here and you were human."
"That doesn't make sense. I only turn human during the night of the new moon." I could hear the subtle resentment in his voice. He wasn't fond of those nights because he viewed them as a night when he was the most vulnerable both physically and emotionally. He was physically incapable of exerting his body like he usually did and his emotions surfaced more during those nights. On top of that, he had to hide from his enemies, which was the one thing he despised.
"I was in the past. Almost fifty years ago and you were with Kikyo." He stilled. "You had a child, Inuyasha." I felt the fresh pain sear through me as I recalled the small young boy with so many features from Inuyasha, but he remained tight-lipped staring at the ground underneath us. "A son. You used the jewel to turn into a human permanently and Kikyo stayed with you—as a normal woman." I swung my legs and felt the blood rush to my ears. "You didn't remember me." My voice cracked. "You had no idea who I was and you were a rude ass to me. Then you told me to leave this time period because I didn't belong here and I wasn't needed." A lump formed in the back of my throat and I screwed my eyes shut.
"Kagome…" He trailed off with uncertainty. "It was a dream." He was trying to pacify me right now because I was restless.
"I know it was. It felt so real though." I whispered without looking at him. His hand reached forward and grabbed my wrist, holding it delicately in his hand. "The only thing that I understood was that you were happy with your life and to me that's all that mattered." I looked at his serious eyes and smiled. "You know that's all that I care about, Inuyasha. I just want you to achieve happiness at any cost. Even if I'm not present." His eyes flared and his lips pressed together.
"Don't be stupid!" He snapped angrily. "What stupid crap do you mean by not being present?" I frowned and closed my fingers until they made a fist. "Is this because I went to go speak with Kikyo?"
"This is what I was dreaming, Inuyasha." I repeated. "I don't control my dreams."
"I want you here, you know that." He said in a softer tone. "I can't forget you so simply. Why were you crying?" I pulled my wrist back and wiped the dry tears from my face.
"Hearing you say that I just didn't belong here made me feel upset. It felt like I was on a one-sided mirror with all the memories of our journey while you looked at me like a maniac. It's what your life would have been if Naraku would have never deceived you and Kikyo." I sighed. "It sounds so stupid to say out loud." There was a silence but I didn't mind, I was rummaging through my own thoughts.
"I can never forget about Kikyo." His voice was ominous, causing me to look towards him but he was staring at the moon that illuminated the sky in a silver light. "She was someone that was a big part of my life."
"I wouldn't ask that of you." I interjected. "I understand that." I wasn't cruel or irrational. I knew that as his first love, Inuyasha couldn't forget her and I've come to terms with that. It doesn't bother me as much as it did in the very beginning.
"But Kagome." He turned his golden eyes to me. "You're special. You've taught me so much in the time we've been together. You said you would stay with me as long as I want you to and I want you to stay by my side for as long as possible." It wasn't a declaration of his feelings but it was more than enough to make my heart thud harshly against my chest. "And for your information, I don't see you as Kikyo." My eyes fluttered in confusion.
"What?"
"I overheard some of Shippo's questions about you and her." I felt heat rush to my cheeks and I instantly cut eye contact. "For everyone's sanity I wanted to tell you."
"Thank you."
"In your dream you saw a perception of what could've happened fifty years ago." He shrugged. "But we'll never know for certain and there's no reason to think about it." There was no hesitance in his voice nor a glint in his eye to say that he was making this all up for my well-being. He meant it. "Are you feeling any better?" My lips quirked up at his curious tone and I nodded.
"Yes." Seeing everything still in place makes me feel better.
"Kikyo said she hasn't retrieved any information on Naraku."
"Wh—"
"I did go to speak to her about Naraku." He murmured. "By the way, I've told you this already but I'll repeat it." He changed his position so his body faced me and his eyes pierced me. "I've found happiness with you. You've made me smile and laugh like no one before and although I don't believe I deserve it, I have never felt more at peace with myself." The fluttering in my stomach increased and I felt my fingers tingle with happiness. I carefully leaned closer to him and wrapped my arms around his neck, pressing myself closer to him.
"Thank you, Inuyasha. Thank you so much." His arm snaked around my waist and I felt his lips smile against my temple. His hand slipped up to touch my cheek.
"You're not warm anymore. That's good." I hummed my response and smiled against his chest.
"You're sure you're feeling well, Kagome?" Sango pressed on and I nodded.
"Yes, really, I'm fine." I replied for the fifth time. "It was just a nightmare."
"It must've been pretty terrible for you to feel so upset." She wondered to herself, shielding her eyes from the brightness of the sun. I tilted my head up towards the sky and grinned widely. We had woken up fresh and early to finish making our way to Kaede's village. Now I was saying my rounds of goodbye before I left to my time.
"How long will you be gone this time, Kagome?" Miroku questioned curiously.
"I would say three days at most. I just need to take an important math exam."
"Splendid, we'll wait for you at Kaede's until then." He smiled. I turned to everyone and nodded.
"I'll see you soon guys."
"Bye Kagome!" Shippo waved with an eager grin.
"Hurry back, will ya?" Inuyasha's irritated voice reached my ears and I stuck my tongue out at him.
"After my test." To everyone it sounded as if I had just repeated myself, but I was making a silent promise to return quickly. It bothered me to leave and go back to my era to attend real world problems, but I needed a healthy dose of a detox for a few days. I needed some time with my family and to catch up with all the work that's probably piled on my desk. I jumped into the well and made it back home.
I poured all of my books spread across my desk and ate supper before studying. Now I was seated and buckled down with a pencil in hand and a handful of scrap paper. Along question three, I heard a knock on my window. I turned to see Inuyasha perched outside and immediately my heart lurched in my chest.
"What are you doing here?" I asked as I opened the window, giving him access to slip in. "You're earlier than usual."
"I think you forgot something important." He moved his hand from behind his back and presented me with my yellow back pack. My lips made an 'O' and I covered my mouth with my hand.
"I must've completely forgot about it in my haste." I sighed in relief, taking it from his hands.
"Of course." He drawled. "Well I'm leaving now. I just came to drop it off 'cause I know you don't like to be spoken to when studying." I gave him and appreciative smile as he hopped back onto the ledge of the window. He suddenly turned back towards me, while holding on to the end of the window and raised an eyebrow. "Are you returning when you're done, stupid?" I gripped the window and leaned on my toes, closer to him, almost invading personal space. His eyes got wide but he didn't move.
"As long as you're waiting for me." I replied and his lips quirked up.
"Always." He dropped from the ledge before my eyes with such speed that it even disoriented me. He was gone in seconds and if I didn't have my backpack in my hand I would doubt he even came in the first place. I looked into the sky and took a deep breath that filled my lungs. I still wanted Inuyasha to be happy, but I wasn't afraid as to what that happiness was. He came—thank you.
Tossing my bag onto the bed, I sat down with the stupidest expression of happiness on my face and started writing formulas down as I hummed continuously. I suddenly couldn't wait to finish this test.