Written for Spottedcaw2. Hope you like it. :)
Jayfeather stood next to a short, bubbling stream. His paws were slowly sinking into the damp sand as droplets of ice cold water splashed over them. But for some reason, the icy liquid didn't bother him.
He frowned and turned his head, trying to figure out where he was.
"Jayfeather!" He froze. No. Surely not. It couldn't be!
But it was. "Half Moon!" He yowled, eyes wide as he stared at the she-cat, trying to take in her whole appearance at once.
She stood alone on the opposite bank, her eyes lit up with joy. "Jayfeather!" She repeated, taking a step forward.
Then the world shook and was torn apart.
"Half-" His cry was cut short as the earth rumbled again. The stream cracked and was pulled apart until he was flying back, hundreds of miles away from her. But still he saw her.
Then the biggest cat he'd eyes laid eyes on, bigger than ever Sharptooth, fell from the sky. Right next to Half Moon.
"No," He gasped. "NO!"
"Jayfeather! Help me, Jayfeather!" The she-cat shrieked as the beast yanked her off the ground with razor sharp claws. "Jayfeather!" Her cries stopped as she disappeared into the creatures jaws.
"Half Moon!" He gasped. Then the creature turned it's gaze towards him.
"Run!" The words echoed through the air, bouncing off the world and filling his ears. "Run! Run my love, run!"
And he did. He turned tail and sprinted away. But the thunder of the cat's footsteps chased him.
"No!" He gasped as the monster caught him. Just as he disappeared into the beast's jaws, the world melted away and he awoke.
"Jayfeather, are you okay?" Briarlight murmured sleepily.
Jayfeather fought to keep his body from quivering as he replied. "Yes," He turned a blind eye to her, nodding. "I'm fine. Just a bad dream. Go back to sleep."
The she-cat yawned. "Whatever you say…" She mumbled, and within seconds she was asleep.
Jayfeather lay in his nest, breathing heavily for several minutes. Then he stood, slowly. His legs continued to shake violently, like a fallen leaf caught in the autumn breeze.
His heart ached now as he recalled the nightmare. Pain and fear burned in his chest.
Carefully, so as not to wait Briarlight, he left the den and padded slowly out of camp.
Lilypaw and Seedpaw- now Lilyflower and Seednose- blinked curiously at him as he passed them. He didn't supply their curiosity with an answer. He merely left camp and walked until he came to the lake. He stood, silently staring into the water, letting the scent of the water calm him.
He was so tired. Every bone in his body ached, longing for rest. Oh StarClan… Here he was, all alone in the middle of the night. He silently wondered if any cat would truly miss him if he simply jumped into the lake and never came out, but he knew that was ridiculous. For one thing, he'd never do something so idiotic. Besides, if he did what would the Clan do? They'd have no medicine cat, unless you counted Cinderheart and Briarlight. He let out a heavy sigh. Maybe it was time he searched for a new apprentice. What would he do if he never trained one?
"Why can't you be here, Half Moon?" He asked the empty air. He hadn't known her long, not really. But he'd known her long enough to fall in love. Somehow she'd changed him.
"Stop it," He hissed under his breath. "You sound like some love-struck apprentice." But he couldn't help it. He missed her so much…
"I miss you too, my love."
Jayfeather jumped and spun around. "Half Moon?" He rasped, hardly believing it.
"Yes," She answered, her tail gently stroking his shoulder as she licked his cheek. "It's me. How are you, darling?"
"Half Moon… I… I don't…"
"You're hurting." She murmured.
"I've been thinking about you," He sighed. "It's painful, yeah."
"I'm sorry."
"It's not your fault."
"Sometimes I wonder if that's true." She sighed.
"It isn't," He insisted. "I could have stayed with you. But I didn't."
"You had a duty to your Clan to come back."
Jayfeather sighed. "What are you doing here?" He asked finally.
"I wanted to talk to you," She said simply. "There is no danger to the Tribe or the Clans right now."
Jayfeather inhaled the scent that was simply Half Moon before speaking again. "You must be tired. The Tribe is a long way from here." He could practically see her smile.
"You're worth it."
Jayfeather smiled briefly. "How do you know that?"
She leaned into him, close like she was whispering a secret, just between them and the night. "Because I can tell."
Jayfeather purred softly, his heart lightening for the first time in a very long time.
"But Jayfeather, there is something I have to tell you."
He froze. The tone of her voice… He knew this wasn't going to be anything good. "What is it?"
She sighed. "After tonight… I can't see you anymore. Not until you join StarClan, that is."
"Why not?" He asked, his heart clenching painfully.
"Because you have to move on," She explained gently. "You're a medicine cat. You can't be spending all of your time with me when you need to be spending it caring for your Clan."
"B… But Half Moon,"
"Jayfeather, you know it has to be this way."
He was trembling. Head down, he spoke softly. "What if I just jumped into the lake right now?"
"You can't," She said simply. "You wouldn't. You know your duty, for now, is with your Clan."
"But my heart is with you!"
"And mine with you. But we just have to be patient, Jayfeather."
He scowled angrily and turned away quickly. "Fine," He snapped. "Why don't we just start now?" And before she could reply he was stomping away, rage and sorrow swirling around inside his stomach.
He ran the rest of the way back to camp.
In the medicine cat's den, Briarlight was awake again.
"Are you okay?" She asked instantly, recognizing the signs that said he didn't want to talk and ignoring them.
"No!" He growled, flopping down in his nest.
"Want to talk?"
"No."
"Okay." And then she was silent, not pushing the issue. Gratitude wormed in next to the fury and the grief and for a moment he was tempted to talk to her. But then the moment passed and he turned away, determined not to show his feelings. What did feelings get you anyway? Nothing but hurt. So he closed his eyes and let himself drop into a painfully empty sleep, knowing that he would never see the one cat he loved above all else until his dying day.
. . .
That day, it seemed, took longer than he would have expected to come.
Seasons passed. Firestar passed away. Brambleclaw- Bramblestar now- became a leader that would truly put his father to shame. Kits were born. Jayfeather found an apprentice at last. And overall, he was happy. At least, as happy as any sullen cat like himself could be.
"Are you sure you're okay?" Snowsong, his apprentice asked, her eyes worried. Jayfeather sighed and shifted in his nest. His bones ached and his body felt tired and used. But there were no herbs for old age. So he simply shook his head.
"I'm fine, Snowsong," He rasped. "I just… I need rest."
"Are you sure?" She repeated. He smiled slightly and nodded slowly.
"Go check on Lilyflower and her kits," He insisted. "They probably need you more than I do."
Snowsong hesitated. She hated leaving him, and it was obvious why. They both, the entire Clan actually, know he didn't have long. He'd gotten sicker and sicker, but there was nothing they could do for him. Another fit of coughs ripped through his body, which only set Snowsong off again.
"Are you sure? I could get you some water, or honey, or-"
"Go!" He insisted once the coughs had stopped, leaving him with a slight burn in his chest and a dry mouth.
Snowsong sighed, before turning. "I'll bring you some fresh-kill later, okay?"
"Okay." He agreed, not wanting to argue. He just didn't have the energy to do that anymore.
Snowsong left slowly, as if waiting for him to call her back. But he didn't. Instead, he shifted in his nest again and yawned. A nap was what he really needed.
He closed his eyes, letting sleep take him over.
"Jayfeather? Jayfeather, wake up." A soft voice murmured in his ear. He groaned softly, not wanting, but obeying anyway. The face he was greeted with stopped his heart.
"Half Moon?" He whispered.
She smiled at him. "It's time to go, darling."
He stared at her, just as another voice filled the room.
"Jayfeather, I brought you a squirrel!" Snowsong's head popped into the room, a squirrel hanging from her jaws. It fell when she saw him, still and silent.
"Jayfeather? Jayfeather, wake up," She said, probing his still side. "Jayfeather? Jayfeather!"
Her wails of despair flooded out into the camp as she desperately tried to reawaken her mentor. Jayfeather felt his heart break for his young apprentice. He wanted to say something, but he before he could a soft voice murmured in his ear. "She'll be okay. Come with me. We have to go."
Jayfeather looked at his apprentice one last time. By now, more cats had come into the already small den. Bramblestar, Dovewing, and Lionblaze were among the first. Lionblaze had a look of steeled neutrality on his face, but Jayfeather could see beyond that. There was pain in his blank amber eyes.
Jayfeather sighed before turning away from the cats he loved.
"I love you." Half Moon murmured, rubbing herself against him.
He smiled at last. "I love you too," He whispered as Snowsong's cries faded. "Let's go."