Carla sat on the sofa, the solitude deafening and feeling like it was closing in on her like a vise, as Roy had retired early to bed, ready to put this day behind him. She held her phone in her hand, as she had throughout the day, always not quite succumbing to the urge to reach out, to quiet the ache in her chest. They were friends now. Good friends in fact, more comfortable with each other than they had been in years. She enjoyed every minute she spent with him, probably more than she should for "just friends". And their conversations came as easy as they had ever been. But she still struggled with asking for his help. Telling him she needed him. She had been utterly broken. He had put her pieces back together once. Then he broke her, and she had to do it without him. She still clung to the feeling that she had to do it by herself, lest she be allowed to fall again. At the moment she was fervently wishing she felt strong enough to give in to the urge to be weak. With him. Carla felt her heart leap at the sound of the buzzer. Deep down she just knew. In the same way they instinctively knew everything about each other. "Carla please let me up"
Five words. And she felt her body flood with relief. It had been a long day and she was feeling the strain of it all. Hovering over Roy to make sure he was okay. As okay as he could be. Listening the few times he let her name pass his lips. Joining in shared silence the rest of the time, struggling to keep a smile on her face, to make sure Roy didn't have to try to take care of her. Her own grief bubbling dangerously close to the surface. Her very best mask in place as she went through the day, preventing any guilt from those that would not have remembered, and keeping those who might have at a distance. But really there was just one person that she knew would remember what it was. The one who had been there to hold her as it was happening, when it was all too much. Who knew how she would valiantly trudge through this difficult day. Being everyone's rock, standing in the sea by herself. The one who could see through her most practiced mask, as if it were clear glass. His voice had the usual gravel, but it was impossibly soft and gentle, in a way that made her heart feel soft. When she opened the door for him, he gave her a soft smile, his dream boat eyes focused on her green ones, with a gentleness that made her insides flip flop. Her first thought was how incredibly handsome he was. So much it nearly knocked her off her feet. She had a twinge of guilt, at these thoughts on such a solemn day. But then she smiled back, as she thought Hayley wouldn't mind
It was only a small smile. Not like the ones that covered her face that he loved so much. But it wasn't her practiced "I'm fine" fake smile, so Peter was happy to see it. The sparkle that lit her green eyes was missing, although he swore he could see just a glint of it, when their eyes met. But they were clouded with an aching sadness that made him want to pull Carla tightly into his arms and kiss away the hurt. Instead, he reached out both hands to her. He was relieved when she didn't hesitate to place her hands in his and let him lightly tug her toward him. He placed a soft kiss on her cheek, so soft it was almost like air, yet his lips burned against her skin. He held her close for a long moment. A very long moment where they were suspended on a tightrope of delicious tension that threatened to snap, as warm breaths mingled. He didn't even have his arms around her, yet held her gently against him, one hand dropping to press against her waist, their foreheads leaning in. He also had spent the day with the urge to call her. Or chase after her when he saw her moving briskly down the street with her eyes averted from those around her. But he knew she would want to spend the day focused on Roy, keeping her emotions in check. Yet, he just couldn't let the day end, with Carla being all alone. Their hearts began beating precariously fast in their chests, in their not so innocent embrace. Carla broke away first, leading Peter to the couch, keeping her fingers locked in his without even thinking about it. Feeling comforted with just the small entanglement, not ready to completely let go.
Peter sat with her on the couch, as Carla tucked her feet up under her. Their eyes flitting from their interlaced fingers, to settle on each other's eyes, unable to break the gaze. Brown on green, both looking softer and more lost in each other, than they had ever looked at anyone else. All the emotions stuffed down through the day shot right up. Her chest felt heavy, and her eyes started to fill with tears. Carla let them. She had always let her most honest emotions pour out around him. Peter finally spoke in hushed tones that shivered over her, "I knew you would want to be with Roy today. I didn't want to intrude, but I just needed you to know you'll never be alone. I'm here for you, Car". She looked at him for just a moment more, before moving closer and leaning her head into his chest. Peter let his fingers slip away to wrap both arms around her, one hand immediately going to stroke her hair.
"I miss her. I miss her so much" as Carla let the tears spill over, and down her cheeks. "I know love, I know" it was just a whisper. But it quieted the grief pounding inside her, as he pressed a light kiss into her hair. Carla lifted her head off his chest, and Peter raised his hand to wipe away the tears still on her cheek. Tilting her head to look up into his eyes, Peter was taken by the vulnerability that lay there. "Can you stay a little while" she breathed. Peter gave her a smile and laid back, gently pulling her with him, so she was nearly on top of him. He ran his fingers through her hair as she settled against him. Carla held onto him, as he wrapped his other arm around her. And she let herself drift into the safest place she had ever known.