Even with her footsteps wet and loud in the dewy morning grass, he didn't seem to notice her. Mey-Rin watched him sit in front of the gravestone, his knees drawn up to his chin. She couldn't see his face, but she could see his shoulders shaking slightly and heard the muffled, whimpering sobs coming from where he sat. Instinctively, she moved closer to him, wanting to comfort him; to hold him, like she had when they'd first found the body.
She was close enough now that there was no doubt in her mind he'd be able to hear her approaching, but still he did nothing to acknowledge her. The maid decided to speak.
"I knew I'd find you here."
"Hi, Mey-Rin." murmured Finny, without even turning around. His voice was flat, if not a bit shaky and thick from crying. It lacked its usual infectious cheerfulness, something that she had grown to expect and admire over the years. Without his happy demeanour, he neither looked nor sounded like the gardener that she knew and loved. No, he was like a whole different person.
"How long have you been out here?" she asked.
"I don't know."
"For hours?"
"I don't know."
Mey-Rin frowned. He had seemed distant ever since they'd found the body, and it hurt her, as they had always been so close. She decided to try a different angle. "Finny, it's so cold out here." she reminded him gently. "Why don't we go back to the Manor? I'll make us some tea, and we can make a blanket fort like we did last month, remember-"
"I don't want any tea." he replied tersely. "And I'm not cold."
Mey-Rin sighed, and knelt down on the ground next to him. He glanced over briefly when she came up beside him, and the maid got a glance of his pale face, with eyes red from crying. She stared ahead, at the gravestone that had held his attention for hours on end.
In memory of Sebastian Michaelis, the gravestone read. Mey-Rin took a deep breath; everything seemed to fall apart inside of her when she read the name engraved there. Sebastian, who had been there every time anyone needed help with anything… Sebastian, who had lit a fire in her heart every time she looked at him… Sebastian, who had always been the best at everything, who had ultimately failed… at living.
It still seemed so unreal. Sebastian was really dead.
Tears welled up in her eyes, but she refused to let them fall. "Come on, Finny." she whispered, her voice breaking. "Let's go inside. Please. Please, just come inside with me."
"But I… I don't want to let Mister Sebastian go." Finny said, fresh tears running down his white cheeks.
"F-Finny, he…" Mey-Rin felt as if there was a lump in her throat. The maid swallowed hard and took a deep breath before continuing. "He's dead, Finny. He's already gone."
"But… I owe him everything!" the gardener cried. "Everything! If it weren't for Mister Sebastian, I'd still be imprisoned… I'd still be all by myself… they'd still inject me, every day… I… I'd have to h-hurt people again… I don't like hurting people, Mey-Rin. I hate it. And I hated being so… so scared… and if it wasn't for Mister Sebastian, I'd still be there now!"
Mey-Rin bit her lip, unable to keep back her tears any longer. They fell down her face, splashing onto the wet ground below the two servants. "I know… I know how you feel. Remember where I was before Mister Sebastian found me… I was forced to kill people too, yes I was. I was told that it was the only thing I could ever be good at… that I was useless otherwise. And… if Mister Sebastian had never saved me from that life… I never would have met you or Bard. I… I never would have had any friends…"
Finny turned to her. His lower lip was trembling, and his turquoise eyes were overflowing with tears. "M...Mey-Rin…" he wailed.
She opened her arms, and he nearly fell into them, burying his face in her apron. Mey-Rin wrapped her arms around him tightly, crying into the top of his strawberry-blonde hair.
"I m-miss Mister Sebastian, t-too." she told him. "But you know that he wouldn't want to see us like this. He'd tell us that serving the young master should be our biggest priority… and that anything else was irrelevant…"
Finny laughed suddenly, and looked up into her face. "He would say that."
A smile spread across her own face. "Yes, he would, wouldn't he?"
The gardener nodded. "I guess we can't disappoint him, then. Not again. Let's go inside." He paused for a moment, and then admitted, "I suppose am a little bit cold, after all."
"I thought you might be." Mey-Rin giggled as she got to her feet, and helped him up as well. "Come on, I said I would make tea."
He grinned. "Oh, good. And... Mey-Rin… thank you."
"For the tea?"
"That, and for coming to find me." He fumbled a gloved hand across his cheeks to wipe away his tears. "I'm sorry if I've been kind of… well… unfriendly lately."
"It's fine. I mean, it's understandable." Mey-Rin replied, playfully tousling his hair. "I knew you looked up to Mister Sebastian a lot. Well, we all did."
"He saved us." Finny said. "All of us."
The maid nodded. "Yes. He did. And I know we'll all miss him so much, but we have to be strong for the young master."
"Right."
"It'll be hard, yes it will. But don't forget that I'm here for you, if you ever want to talk, or just want a hug or something." she continued.
"You're the best, Mey-Rin." Finny beamed. "Can I take you up on that hug now?"
She laughed. "If you want."
He wrapped his arms around her. "I… I didn't know how I was gonna get by without Mister Sebastian around, but I think… as long as I have you, I'll be okay."
The maid's face felt hot. She leaned down and planted a kiss on his forehead. "Aw, thanks, Finny. I'm glad I have you, too."
Smiling, Finny stepped back, and offered her one of his gloved hands. "Maybe we can steal some cookies from the kitchen when you make tea, and eat them in the blanket fort." he suggested.
Mey-Rin grinned, and took his hand. "I'd like that."
The two servants walked hand-in-hand back to the Phantomhive Manor, where they made a fort of blankets and pillows, which they sat and talked in all day. Sebastian or his gravestone did not cross either of their minds once.
end