There was a distant, steady beeping somewhere. The sound was constant, something to focus on aside from the burning pain that pulsed through her body. She wanted to open her eyes, to get up and move, but her body wouldn't respond. It just throbbed in pain while she listened to the beep that never strayed.
Every once and a while, she would hear distant, muffled voices. She would hear arguing, or commands, or someone just speaking in a low, hushed voice. She could never make out the conversations, but there was always one voice that stood out from the rest. She longed to hear the voice when it stopped. She wish it never stopped.
It was a voice of strength to her, an angelic, familiar voice that made her want to keep fighting. She longed to put a face to it, to get up and hear it clearly.
She wasn't sure how long it was before she opened her eyes for the first time. It hurt like hell when she did. Her head burned and pulsed with pain. Her eyes burned against the lights above her, making her dizzy and unfocused. Her vision was blurred for awhile. She blinked a few times, slow and deliberate, trying to focus them.
When it passed, she looked upon a white tiled ceiling, with bright fluorescent lights. She slowly moved her eyes to the left to see a machine with a bunch of numbers and graphs that she didn't know how to read. It was beeping that familiar beep and she smiled wryly. She tried to turn her head, but her neck wouldn't respond and pain radiated down her spine like a lightning strike. She grimaced and just turned her eyes to the right.
What she focused on next took her breath away, or whatever little breath she had. In a chair pulled next to the bed was a sleeping woman. A beautiful, raven-haired woman in a skin tight black and white suit. She was resting her head on her hand, her eyelids fluttering in her sleep. Her full lips slightly parted. She looked exhausted. How can someone with bags under their eyes look so beautiful? She thought to herself, smiling again.
Who was this woman? She looks familiar, but she couldn't place her. She opened her mouth, wanting to ask this woman where she was, what happened, who she was, who was she? Her eyes darted about the room in panic. What was going on?! Her mouth was so dry. She tried to speak but all that came out was a low groan. Her heart started pounding in her chest, threatening to burst through her ribcage in her panic. The machines beeping sped up and kept steadily rising in rhythm.
She tried to sit up, tried to ignore the pain so she could see where she was but ended up screaming in pain. Her dry, raw throat burned with the action and she faintly tasted the metallic taste of blood on her tongue. She squeezed her eyes shut as her ears began to ring. She could still feel her panic rising.
When she opened her eyes again, the brunette who was sleeping was standing over her, worry and concern etched into her beautiful features. Her eyes locked with her ice blue ones. Something about her eyes made her feel safe, familiar, even though her thoughts were confused and awry. Her lips were moving, but the ringing in her ears refused to let her hear the words.
The woman brought her hands up to cup her cheeks, trying to help her focus. They were so soft, and gentle, a welcomed change from the constant pain and emptiness she felt. Slowly, the womans voice broke through the ringing, becoming the beautiful, angelic voice she heard so often. It seemed like an eternity before it stopped and she could make out the woman's words.
"Shepard, can you hear me? Just try to relax, stay still. I know it hurts." She spoke in such an eloquent way, with an accent that she could not place. The words were so familiar as well and she had the strangest feeling of deja vu. She opened her dry mouth to speak again, this time finding her voice which came out raspy and low. "Water." she managed to say. The woman was off the bed in seconds and back in another with a glass of water and a straw.
"Drink slowly." she commanded before putting the straw to her lips. The cool water was so refreshing against her burning throat. She felt better almost instantly, despite the pain through her body. She was still thirsty when she finished the glass, and it didn't go missed by the other woman who quickly refilled it.
After her raw throat and thirst was quenched, she blurted out all the questions that were filling her mind. "Where am I? What happened to me?" The brunette seemed to consider the questions with much thought.
"You're in a hospital, you had an… accident. Do you not remember?" she asked slowly, observing her reaction.
She squeezed her eyes shut, trying to focus her thoughts, but nothing came. It was blank. There was nothing. Not even who she was. The panic began again and the beeping sped up. The woman grabbed her hand and gently squeezed. "It's okay," she said in a soft voice full of concern. "Take your time."
"I… I don't remember anything. I-It's just blank. Who am I? Who are you, are you a doctor?" She opened her eyes in a pleading manner to the woman sitting on her hospital bed. The brunettes face went blank. Her expressions of worry and concern gone. Her eyes were filled with pain though, glossy with what seemed like unshed tears.
She was silent for a long time, obviously thinking of how to answer her questions. "My name is Miranda. You're Commander Jennifer Riley Shepard. You've been in this hospital for two months recovering. You… injured your head pretty badly. You've sustained multiple injuries, but you're making a full recovery." she explained, her eyes traveling down her body with a calculating eye.
"Commander? Wha-who, am I some kind of soldier, ma'am?" she stammered in confusion. Her head was throbbing. Why can't I remember anything, dammit? The woman smiled lightly, her beautiful lips curving up and showing a straight row of perfectly white teeth. "Yes. You're an Alliance soldier. You made the rank of Commander when you were just 25."
She scanned the room in confusion. How is that possible? How is it she can't remember this? The brunettes hand caressed her cheek again, forcing her eyes back to hers. "Jennifer," she said softly, "You need to rest. We can talk more later. I'm going to figure this out and fix it, okay?" Shepard looked into Miranda's eyes and just knew she wasn't lying. Whoever this Miranda was to her before obviously meant a lot to her. And she could see that she meant a lot to Miranda as well. She merely nodded before wincing in pain.
"I'll be right here if you need me." Miranda said before moving back to the chair by the bed. Shepard followed her with her eyes, taking in this breath taking woman, before her eyes slowly closed and she fell into an uneasy sleep.
Once Shepard's eyes closed and her breathing became deep and even, Miranda let the tears fall. She covered her mouth to silence her quiet sobs and squeezed her eyes shut to try to stop the salty tears. All of her work, two months of sleepless nights and reviewing charts and examining her progress and she still lost her. She still lost Shepard. She knew it was a long shot, trying to restore her memories and the damage done to her temporal lobe, but the realization that she failed was too much.
For once in her life, Miranda Lawson didn't know what to do. She was lost, and confused, probably just as much as Shepard. When she first put Shepard's body back together, she had it planned. She had the resources and money from Cerberus unlimited. Now, she only had what was left after the war to work with, and that was extremely limited, even with the Alliance backing her.
She let out a shaky breath, regaining her composure. She needed to think. She has to help Shepard, has to get her back. Miranda bloody Lawson doesn't give up, especially on the person she fought tooth and nail to get back to.
She watched Shepard sleep for awhile, deliberating on what to do next. She was going to help Shepard remember, but she didn't want to overload the woman. I'll just have to take it a day at a time… After sometime, she decided to make herself useful. Shepard would be able to eat on her own now, and will be starving when she gets up. Miranda went to the hospital's cafeteria and got soup and pudding for Shepard, thinking heavily solid food wouldn't be good to start with.
She refilled the glass when she got back and set the tray on the bedside table. Shepard was muttering something unintelligible in her sleep when Miranda sat back down and awoke with a sharp intake of breath not too long after. Miranda covered Shepards hand in an instant, to show she was still there. Shepards head slowly lolled to the side to stare at her. Her piercing green eyes meeting her icy blue ones.
She looked so lost and it made Mirandas chest tighten with guilt. "Hi," she whispered quietly. Shepards soft lips curled into a wry smile and she muttered in her raspy, tired voice, "Hi." Miranda smiled back sadly.
"I brought you some soup and pudding if you're hungry." Shepard nodded, and as if trying to respond for her, her stomach growled. Miranda giggled quietly as she moved to help Shepard sit up. It was obviously a painful experience. Shepard held her breath, her face contorting in pain while Miranda tried gently to help her sit up.
"Here," Miranda said reaching for the pain pills and glass of water. Shepard took them with a thankful heavy sigh. Miranda took the bowl of soup and helped Shepard eat. After a while, Shepard finally spoke. "How bad were my injuries? I feel like I was run over by a pack of krogan a thousand times." she joked with her familiar smirk. Miranda shook her, at least she didn't lose her sense of humor, Miranda thought.
"You sustained heavy head trauma to your temporal lobe, which resulted in your memory loss. You had multiple fractured bones including almost all of your ribs, your right tibia and femur, most of your finger bones and three places in your back. You received multiple burns and lacerations, those being the simplest to repair, although you still have some scarring… " Miranda gaged Shepards reaction as she spoke.
Her eyes widened in response, but she said nothing, allowing Miranda to continue. "Your bones have mostly healed, though you will experience pain for quite some time while the damaged muscles recover. Your memories, however, will not be quite so easy to retrieve. I've done what I can, but… Only time will tell. The best outcome is they slowly return on their own. The worst, they do not. I will do my best to help, if you allow me." Miranda finished with a slight raise of her eyebrow.
Shepard nodded, "Yeah, of course. I mean… I don't really have a choice otherwise." she let out of a raspy chuckle. A slightly awkward silence fell between them, which hasn't happened since they first explored their feelings for each other back on their mission to defeat the collectors. Miranda felt a hollowness in her chest along with the experience. She wanted Shepard back, her Shepard.
Shepard cleared her throat, "So… Where do we like start? What do we do?" Miranda looked at Shepard, still unclear about how to do this. "I thought we might just take it a day at a time. Theres a lot to discuss and I think its best if we do it slowly…" Miranda offered. Shepard nodded in agreement, turning her head to look out the hospital window. "We're on Earth, aren't we?" she asked after a moment.
"Yes, we are. Do you remember anything about the war?" Miranda asked cautiously. Shepard shook her head and looked back to her with confused eyes.
Miranda sighed and started from the beginning. She told Shepard about her mission against Seran, his plans to help the Reapers, and about her crew. About how she lost Gunnery Chief Ashley Williams on Virmire. She explained the Reapers plans to Shepard and how a collector ship attacked the Normandy SR1 and how she died. She retold how Miranda herself brought Shepard back when she was still with Cerberus, how they brought a team together to defeat the Collectors. Then to finish, she told Shepard about how she united the galaxy against the Reapers to take back Earth and how she went into the Citadel, destroying the Reapers and the Mass Relays along with all synthetic life.
Miranda herself wasn't sure what Shepard did, but she didn't care. The Reapers were gone and Shepard was found barely alive in the middle of the battlefield. Shepard took the information rather well, and as always, made jokes.
"So I'm like some galactic badass then? That's awesome! Me and Jesus gotta be on the same level now, right? You know, with the whole dying thing." Miranda just rolled her eyes, a small smile playing on her lips. Of course she tells Shepard devastating news and all she does is make light of it. Her smile faded, however, as she reflected on their time on the Normandy SR2. She left out their more than… professional relationship for now. "Hey," Shepard asked, taking note of her sudden distress. "What is it?" her concern making the hollowness in Miranda's chest all the more painful. She shook her head, waving off Shepards concern.
"Nothing," she smiled reassuringly. "You should rest now. We'll talk more tomorrow." Miranda helped Shepard lay back down. She grazed her fingers along her cheek, "Don't worry," she said, trying to relay any concerns Shepard might be feeling. "We'll fix this."
Shepard smiled, clearly not as derailed by this new dilemma as Miranda. "I know we will. You will. I mean, you brought me back to life once, this should be a walk in the park." she laughed before it turned into a yawn. Miranda smiled, not quite as confident as usual, but when has Miranda Lawson or Commander Shepard ever failed?