Summary : Proving that her imaginary not-boyfriend wasn't quite so imaginary led Hermione to reiterate an intriguing offer. HG/NT and implied future SS/HG/NT
The Offer Still Stands
„Harry James Potter! Ronald Bilius Weasley! What the hell were you thinking?" demanded an enraged Hermione Granger to know, while she rushed trough the Great Hall towards the table at which her two – formerly – best friends sat, calmly enjoying their dinner.
Both had the decency to flinch at her screaming but tried not to appear guilty by denying any knowledge about her reason to do so.
"Really, Herms, what've we done now?" Ron asked cheekily without meeting her eye.
He knew damn well why she was upset.
"You set me up for a fuck-date, that's what you did! The poor boy even thought I was just playing hard-to-get because you told him I liked it that way! He thought I liked it rough!"
A wide grin spread over the boy's face.
"So was he any good?" asked Ron, proving there was a reason he was sorted into Gryffindor.
He should have learned by now that foolish bravery wasn't too good for his health.
Indeed, he was lucky Tonks chose that moment to drop by.
"Hey Mione, just wanted to tell you that the poor lad you had that disagreement with accepted your deal. He's not going to press any charges for you hexing his balls off." She exclaimed, grinning. She really, really liked the way Hermione had defended herself. Nothing else would have been as effective as that.
A visible shudder went through all the males in the Great Hall, students and teachers alike.
"You did what?" a pale Harry wanted to know, his legs crossed in protection of his most valuable body parts.
"I hexed his balls off. Really, boys, if you thought I would let him rape me without putting up a fight, you were sadly mistaken!"
"Rape?" Ron often had problems catching on, but even he understood what Hermione accused the young wizard of, with whom they had set her up.
"Well, Ron, Aurors tend to call forcing someone to have sex without their consent rape", Tonks explained agitated.
"But… he didn't do anything wrong! I mean, really, we all know Hermione needed to get laid. He just wanted to do us all a favour!"
He should have seen it coming, but Hermione's fist still hit him absolutely unexpected.
"What I need, dear Ron, is for you to stop meddling in my love life! I am perfectly capable of taking care of myself, thank you very much!"
Ron let out a barking laugh, showing he didn't believe a word she said.
"Yeah. Right. That imaginary boyfriend of yours nobody has ever seen."
Tonks put a calming hand on the enraged girls shoulder, effectively stopping her from doing something she might later regret.
"I never said I had a boyfriend. Hell, I don't even want a boyfriend. Because boys – and to me that's every male younger than at least thirty – are far too immature to put up with.
But I said I was seeing someone! And even if you didn't believe me – even if I had lied, which I did not – you had no right trying to force somebody on me!" Hermione said after taking a few deep calming breaths.
"Whatever. I still don't believe you", he answered.
Hermione wasn't sure if he had even bothered to listen.
"I do not need you to believe me, Ron!" she shouted exasperated, "I just need you to stop setting me up."
Tears threatened to fall and she spoke with a desperation that carried her silent words all over the Great Hall. It was that desperation which made Ron look up at her.
"Right. Okay. If you can tell me about anyone who has seen you and your not-boyfriend together, I'll stop." He promised.
Hermione knew only about one person who had ever seen them. She looked up to the head table – for the first time during her conversation happy everybody seemed to listen – and saw one of her professors nod his permission.
She sighed in defeat. She would have preferred her friends to stop their childish behaviour solely on the reason that she asked them to but that was obviously unlikely to happen.
"Professor Snape walked in on us kissing during the summer holidays." She finally told them.
There was no need for them to know that the kisses had not been limited to the mouth. In fact, she had already lost her shirt and her partner had been fondly sucking, kissing and licking her left breast.
But that knowledge would stay secret between the three of them.
It really had been an awkward situation. At least until Tonks and her had asked simultaneously if he wanted to join them and he started laughing. It was the first and only time she had ever seen him laugh freely.
Afterwards, he had told them they should be careful what they ask for because once Hermione had graduated, he might actually consider fulfilling their wishes.
"Is that a promise, Professor?" Hermione had asked him – gracefully ignoring the way he was staring at her exposed breasts.
"It might be, Miss Granger!" he had murmured in his silkiest voice and then left them to tend to their business.
"You don't expect me to believe that, do you?" Ron wanted to know, "Snape would have never let you live that down. At least not without humiliating you. We would have heard of it by now."
Ron didn't see the dark figure approaching them. But he saw Snapes smirk when he flinched at the sound of his voice.
"I believe, Miss Granger, that Mr Weasley's brain capacity is too small to recognise if somebody is telling the truth. I therefore recommend you just show him what I walked in on. Or, considering what exactly I walked in on, a more decent version of the event would be more appropriate…"
"Why, Professor Snape. That sounds as if you would appreciate a repeat performance." She said, grinning cheekily. And then added, before he had a chance to reply and dock points, "I might consider it if you promise not to dock house points."
Despite him being Snape she was sure he wasn't just making fun of her. Back at Grimmauld Place, the slight bulge in his pants had made it fairly obvious that he had enjoyed the view of the previous display of affection between Tonks and her.
"I do, Miss Granger. You can hold me to that!"
Hermione wondered if she had just imagined it or if his answer really was that suggestive. After all, his answer could not only refer to the house points but also to her comment about his wanting a repeat performance.
Or, if she thought about it, there was a chance that he had said it with what might be another promise in mind - the promise to join them. She guessed it would not hurt asking him to clarify on graduation night.
"I will." She murmured and turned away from him.
Hermione hesitated because she didn't know if Tonks would be alright with it. They had never talked about coming out.
The only part of their relationship they actually had talked about was being gay – which neither of them was.
Just because they loved each other did not mean they didn't love men.
They hadn't been joking when they had asked Snape to join them.
But she needn't have worried. The wide grin on Tonks face showed that, for her, Christmas had come early.
And before Hermione had even had the chance to say something her girlfriend swept her off her feet, kissing her passionately before dragging her towards the exit.
In the doorway, they stopped and turned back to the room.
"You know, Professor, the offer still stands – to join us, I mean." Tonks informed Snape. Hermione just looked at him imploringly, her arms slung around her girlfriends' waist, encircling her from behind.
"I already told you: I do not sleep with my students!"
"Then, I guess, we will just have to wait." Tonks shrugged.
"That we will have to!" was his silent answer.
At last, the two girls left, arm in arm - leaving a wistful Snape, an unbelieving Ron and an absolutely stunned student body in their wake.