Ok, but did someone ever tell the universe that Darth Vader moments aren't actually supposed to happen because honestly? This is fucking ridiculous. This isn't a thing that happens. It is the opposite of a thing that happens. This is like a dog driving a car. Sure, it happens in movies, but it's pretty much unacceptable in real life.
So I've concluded that this is a dream. I am dreaming. This is not happening. This never will, and never has happened, even with the multiverse theory, there is no way this ever happens, which is technically a paradox, but I don't give a fuck about any science shit right now because holy fuck, I am lying dead on a slab in a hospital morgue in the middle New fucking Jersey with my parents staring at me, and Clockwork standing/hiding behind a desk smiling like we're going to be best friends after this- which we are not, by the way.
But the thing is, I am perfectly alive. I am very much alive. I am standing over my body, but it's not my body. Like, it looks like me, down to the mole on my temple, but it's not me because I'm me and I'm not dead.
My evil twin is dead. I didn't even know I had an evil twin. But, apparently he died because some A-hole decided to push him in front of a train.
What's more fun than having an evil twin? Having a ghost you met like once pop your little half ghost secret to your ghost hunting parents for no reason other than your evil twin is dead. I mean, the fuck, dude?
Who does that?
Clockwork, that's who.
So now my parents are staring at me because apparently I'm half of what they hate? They aren't really reacting yet, so it could go both ways, you know, I might still have a chance at them not hunting me down like an animal in human form as well as my ghost form.
I send Clockwork a glare and turn to them, acting sheepish and apologetic because there is no fucking way we are all getting out of this with our emotional and mental stability.
"Danny," Mom's voice breaks. "is this true?"
"Yeah, yeah it is." I shuffle my feet and look down, avoiding their eyes filled with hurt, instead staring at the annoyingly bright white linoleum tiles that covered the floor.
"But- how?" Dad quietly sobs, tears forming in his eyes.
"It was the Portal-"
"No it wasn't." Clockwork interrupted with that asshole-ish voice of his. Sounding too smug and composed for any of this shit.
"Excuse me?" I looked back at him incredulously, feeling my eyes burn green with rage.
"Ehm, well, I mean- there were other circumstances."
"Circumstances?"
"Well, I uhm, ah." Clockwork trailed off for a moment, staring at the body of my evil twin. "You see, when a ghost loves another ghost very much, they-"
"No. You will not give me the Talk. I have already had the Talk, and even if I didn't, I wouldn't want it from you."
"If you'll let me finish." Clockwork cocked an eyebrow and sighed. "Now, what I was getting at, it is generally impossible for a human and a ghost to reproduce, but if the ghost is very powerful, and the human is near death, not literally, just that they have history with death, they've been dead before but have been brought back with science and such, like someone's heart stopping but starting again, it's rare, but it is possible."
"What?" Clockwork ignored me and carried on.
"But it never happens because our worlds are so isolated and the offspring are born human, so they never even really know. The only thing that does activate the ghost side is ectoplasm and electricity, at the same time. Like in the Portal."
"What?" The word came out as a laugh. Because who the fuck would believe this ridiculous fucking Darth Vader situation?
"You're not their son, Danny." Clockwork exhaled and crossed his arms.
"Of course he is, I remember giving birth to him, I was pregnant for 9 months, how dare you say he isn't my son?" Mom's voice was icy and terrifying, but the content made me turn back and smile at her.
"No, you remember being pregnant with this Danny." Clockwork swept an arm over the evil twin. "I may have done a little bit of switching. You see, his parents original child died of Sudden Infant Death Syndrome while in his crib, so I replaced him with your original son, and replaced your original son with mine."
"What the fuck?" My heart curled in on itself.
"You're a changeling. I thought that was obvious." He sounded genuinely confused. Like he hadn't done anything wrong. Meanwhile, I felt like my heart was being ripped out of my chest. My parents weren't my real parents, and my evil twin is the "real" me?
"Clockwork, you're really making it hard for me to not kill you."
"You're my son, I gave you to the Fentons so you could survive. Humans can survive in the Ghost Zone indefinitely, and ghost can't survive in the human world for too long either. It was either I give you to the family where you would have the best chances, or I leave you in an orphanage. What would you have done?" So, the guy was my biological father, big whoop. It's not like he ever really did anything fatherly or helped raise me. I steeled my nerves and prepared myself for a good, long argument.
"Well, if that's the case, why would you put me with ghost hunters?"
"They weren't ghost hunters at the time. I knew they had an interest, but even for me, time can be unpredictable. I had no way of knowing that the few paths that actually led to them becoming professional ghost hunters would be the ones they chose. I can see the paths, but I can't control which paths are taken."
"Then why not just leave me with my mother, then?" Clockwork's face contorted into a sad grimace.
"She died in childbirth. There was no one I could send you to. I chose the Fentons because you would be the happiest with them. The real Danny was perfectly happy with the parents I put him with."
I felt my heart crumble in my chest. I am the real Danny. I've been Danny. I may not have been born Danny, but dammit, I'm the fucking real Danny. This kid's name isn't even Danny. It's Reggie. His name is fucking Reggie. He's not the real Danny.
Hot tears streamed down my face. "Why did you even do this? You could've just left us alone." My voice was barely a whisper, but Clockwork heard it nonetheless. He looked to my parents and sighed, his shoulders slumping.
"If I had kept you when you were a baby you would be dead. The real Danny would be alive, but you would be dead. I couldn't do that. I just- couldn't." He reached out to me, trying to put his hand on my shoulder.
Mom shoved him away. "Don't touch our son." She stepped in front of me and pulled an ectogun out of her purse, charging it up and aiming it for Clockwork's heart. "You stay away from my son. And my family. You never come near us again. I will end you."
Clockwork stepped back, fear shining in his eyes, pain written all over his face. "Goodbye." He disappeared in a wisp of wind, a whispered "I'm sorry, I love you." slithered around me, whipping my hair around and tousling my shirt.