Author's Note- Not much to say. Except THANK YOU for all of the favorites, follows and reviews! You guys make doing what I do worth it!
Title- You Are Not Your Mother
Summary- Post Prison- Nicky and Lorna have dinner with Nicky's mother. Oh what could go wrong?
Nicky Nichols had come a long way from the person she use to be. The person that would self destruct by way of drugs, alcohol and meaningless sex with any woman that was willing to fuck. Not many people could proudly say that they had changed for the better because of prison; but for Nicky that statement was true. Not only had she met the love of her life, Lorna Morello, in prison; but she had also gained the family she never had. Red, her mother in every sense of the word, had taken Nicky under her wing and saved her from the drug demons that threatened to kill her. Her real mother, an uptight conservative airhead that cared more about money than her own daughter, had always felt more like a distant relative that sent money every now and then, than an actual mother. So when she got a phone call, months after getting out of prison and renting an apartment with Lorna, from her mother she almost hung up the phone.
"Hello Nicole" An all to familiar emotionless voice muttered through the phone.
"What do you want?" Nicky spat angrily
"That is no way to speak to your mother Nicole." Mrs. Nichols replied steely, "I was simply calling to see if you and Lorna would like to go for dinner tonight."
Just before Nicky had a chance to tell her mother to fuck off and leave her alone; she felt a hand on her arm. Looking back at Lorna, who had a pleading look on her face. Nicky covered the mouth piece with her hand and shot Lorna an amused look.
"You really wanna go for dinner with my mother? The woman who couldn't even hold me after she gave birth to me?" Nicky asked, hoping the hurt in her voice wasn't evident.
Lorna squeezed Nicky's arm gently, "I want to meet the woman that gave birth to the most beautiful woman in the world." Leaning over she kissed Nicky's other cheek softly.
Like they always could, and always would, Lorna's words and soft touch softened Nicky's hardened exterior.
Sighing as she put the phone back to her ear she made plans to meet her mom at a small Italian restaurant not far from their apartment complex. Hanging up the phone, she turned and wrapped her arms around Lorna and hugged her tightly; needing to feel the strength she would need for tonight.
"I don't understand why you want to meet my mother so badly; she's never been anything but an invisible ATM machine to me." Nicky mused, letting her nose bury into Lorna's hair.
Pulling away slightly and looking up into her girlfriend's beautiful brown eyes. "I just want to understand why you hate her so much. I mean I know why but I just want to see for myself." Leaning up and kissing Nicky' lips tenderly she continued, "Besides did you really want to cook tonight?"
Nicky laughed wholeheartedly, "Ya sure you wouldn't rather just order pizza?"
Lorna looked at her sternly before heading into their bedroom to get changed.
They arrived at the restaurant at seven o'clock. Nicky had worn jeans and a nice button down shirt, accompanied with her Doc Martins of course. While Lorna had tried to get her to dress a little more formal or at least do something with her hair, it had been to no avail. Lorna, however, had chosen a beautiful black dress with a white sweater, had done her hair up in a bun and was wearing her trademark red lipstick.
When they got there, Nicky's mother was already waiting for them. Nicky took a deep breath before following Lorna to the table; she was doing this more for Lorna than herself.
"Hello Nicole" The woman at the table stood up. Her hair was short, shoulder length and her makeup was done perfectly. She wore a dark blue, floor length, dress, with diamond jewels on the top of it.
"Hello mother" Nicky replied flatly, the distaste at the word mother clearly evident.
Mrs. Nichols moved to hug her daughter; the hug feeling cold and awkward for them both. As they pulled apart Nicky moved her arm around Lorna.
"Mom this Lorna Morello. Lorna this is my mother." Nicky motioned between the two women.
Lorna smiled at Mrs. Nichols and extended her hand. She was a bit suprised by how unalike the mother/daughter duo looked. "It's nice to finally meet you."
Nicky's mother shook her hand, "Likewise." she replied.
"So Nicky tells me you have a house in Brazil. That must be beautiful." Lorna said as they sat back down at the table.
"Yes, well Nicole's stepfather and I bought it years ago and have been doing renovations on it." Mrs. Nichols replied.
"Well we'll have to come down and visit sometime." Lorna smiled, knowing Nicky would be pissed when they got home. She was trying to establish some type of relationship between the two women; the feeling at the table so cold and emotionless it sent a chill down her spine.
"That's a very nice idea dear but I'm not sure my daughter would agree." Mrs. Nichols replied, looking at her daughter's hardened expression.
"Oh no I would love to come to Brazil and see your place again." Nicky responded, steel in her eyes."However, last time I checked I wasn't welcome there. Wasn't it you mother who said you didn't want a junkie's fingerprints on the furniture?"
Lorna reached for Nicky's hand under the table and squeezed it tightly as the elder Nichols woman met her daughter's stare. "Yes well we couldn't risk having any items stolen. You were quite fond of pawning off expensive items so you could buy drugs."
Nicky could feel that old familiar feeling of unacceptance creeping through her; a feeling she felt all too often around her mother.
"Well I've been clean for four years now mother. That should make you proud." Nicky muttered, her voice softer. She had become an expert at hiding her emotions, keeping her voice strong and not allowing others to see her break; it worked around everyone except for two people. Lorna Morello and her mother.
"Yes dear, I know and you have spent much of that time in prison. What about now that you're out? You never could stay away for long." Nicky's mother said flatly, emotionless.
Nicky could feel her mask slipping, she knew she had to get out. Taking a deep breath she stood up "Excuse me" she blurted shakily before running towards the bathroom.
Lorna watched Nicky run from the table. Her blood was boiling, How could any mother talk to their child like that? She stood up and let her anger out full throttle.
"What the hell kind of parent are you? Do you know how hard Nicky has worked to stay clean? What a struggle it is for her not to crack and fall back into old habits?" Lorna yelled, not caring who heard.
Mrs. Nichols looked at her, her features seemingly unfazed by Lorna's demeanor."You don't know Nicole like I do Lorna. She has never stayed clean for long, Sooner or later she'll start using again. I was hopeful after her bacterial infection that she would stay clean, but she didn't."
Lorna leaned into the table, not noticing Nicky or the other customers watching intently, "You seriously think you know Nicky better than me? Because if you did, Mrs. Nichols, then you would know that she is one of the most beautiful, intelligent, amazing, strong women that there is. And if you knew her as well as me you would see that this beautiful woman is far more capable of changing her life around than you give her credit for. This woman, who has had to go through hell just having you as a mother, has become a woman that I am fucking proud to call mine. She has helped me through more shit than your narrow mind could ever hope to understand. And if you can't see that then I want you to stay the hell out of our life. Besides." Lorna added, grabbing her purse and smiling slightly, "Nicky already has a mother. One that knows what an amazing woman she is and doesn't hold her past against her. I'm sorry our food didn't get here before we left but I trust you can afford the bill. Have a nice night."
With that, Lorna turned on her heels, ignoring the roaring applause around her as she grabbed Nicky's hand and lead her out of the restaurant.
As they started the drive home, Lorna was still fuming. "I am so sorry you have had to put up with a fucking cunt like that" Her hands tightened on the steering wheel as she tried to calm her anger; knowing it wasn't helping Nicky.
Lorna looked over at Nicky who had been silent for most of the drive. "Hey." She said softly, reaching over and lacing Nicky's fingers with her own. "You aren't your mother Nick. You've come so far honey."
Nicky didn't reply and Lorna didn't pressure her to. She knew Nicky well enough to know that when she was silent her emotions were threatening to overtake her. Lorna had only seen Nicky cry twice. Once when Red went to medical back at Litchfeild after Vee had attacked her. The second time had been the first night she had gotten out of prison and they made love for the first time in months. Lorna knew that Nicky hated to let others see her vulnerable side. Lorna, however, was different.
As they pulled into the parking lot of their apartment building and made their way up to their suite, Nicky said nothing. Lorna knew she was fighting her emotions violently, not wanting what her mother said to have an effect on her. As they entered the suite, Nicky walked towards the bedroom. Dead bolting the door, Lorna followed her. Sitting down next to her girlfriend on the end of the bed, Lorna put her arms around her neck.
"It's ok baby." She whispered, pulling Nicky into her arms. "Let it out."
Those words seemed to break the dam that had built in Nicky's throat since they had gotten to the restaurant. She started sobbing hysterically into Lorna's arms. They sat there for what felt like hours, days maybe. Finally, after crying enough tears to fill the Pacific Ocean, Nicky was able to compose herself.
"I don't get it." Nicky said, her voice raw from the seemingly endless tears. "Why do I care? I mean I thought I had pushed her away. I thought it didn't matter."
Lorna ran her fingers up and down Nicky's back soothingly. Looking down at her she smiled. "You know why Nichols? Because you are not your mother. You have such a huge heart and you care so much about people. You're an amazing, beautiful, giving woman that sometimes can't take the weight of the world any longer. That sometimes needs to break down." Lorna cupped Nicky's face with her free hand, "I love you so much." she finished, kissing Nicky's lips softly.
Nicky looked at her. "You know it's funny. I want to believe that I can and am a better person." She sighed. "But then I look at my scar and it's like it all comes rushing back."
Lorna looked at her, "Take off your shirt." She instructed.
Normally, Nicky would have made a sexual comment. But her heart wasn't in it at the moment. Slowly she removed her shirt and bra.
Lorna moved off the bed and took Nicky's hand. She lead her over to the full length mirror on their bathroom door. She motioned for Nicky to look in the mirror."What do you see when you look in the mirror?" She mused.
Nicky stared at her reflection, stared at that jagged, uneven, unsightly scar that ran between her breasts. "Failure, disappointment, fuck up." She stopped, feeling the need to punch something starting to rise.
"You don't see how beautiful you are, do you?" Lorna asked.
"Not really. When I look at that scar I see my mother's disapproval all over again."
"You wanna know what I see?" Lorna asked softly, moving closer, so her front was pushed against Nicky's back.
Nicky nodded, unable to speak.
"I see the most breathtaking, beautiful woman in the entire world. Look at your eyes" Lorna met Nicky's eyes in the mirror and smiled. "When I look into your eyes I see everything I have ever wanted. I see so much love and happiness that sometimes I feel like my heart's gonna overflow."
Nicky felt her face relax slightly.
"Now look at your lips." Lorna commanded, looking at Nicky's lips in the mirror. "Those luscious, sensual, beautiful lips make me smile every time they say my name or say "I love you" or smile." Lorna smiled as she saw Nicky's mouth move into a small smirk. "While the words that come out of those lips aren't always sweet and tender, I love to listen to whatever they say. Their stories and intelligent thoughts make my days brighter."
Lorna moved her arms around Nicky's waist from behind and whispered softly, "Now look at your scar." She watched Nicky's eyes in the mirror, hesitate for a moment, before looking at the scar on her chest. "You know what I see when I look at that scar?" Lorna asked softly.
"What?" Nicky whispered, unable to believe how loved she felt at that moment.
"I see an incredible story." Lorna started, "Baby you spent so long not having anyone to lean on, to love you, to believe in you. It's no wonder you turned to drugs. You didn't have anyone or anything else to turn to." Lorna paused and kissed Nicky's cheek gently before continuing. "Did you make some bad choices? Yes. Did it almost kill you? Yes. But honey you were given a second chance. You were given a second chance at life, at love." Lorna stopped and turned Nicky around to face her. "And I am so glad." She whispered, cupping Nicky's face in her hands. "Because I can't think of anyone I would rather be madly, unconditionally in love with." Lorna closed the gap between them and kissed Nicky hard, wrapping her arms fully around her neck.
Nicky's mind was still numb. The love and affection Lorna had shown her that night was unlike any she had ever experienced. Sure she had had people tell her she was a great person; but never in the way Lorna had tonight. She wrapped her arms around Lorna's waist and kissed her back. Easily, she reached down and locked her arms around the back of Lorna's knees; lifting her up and carrying her to the bed.
Falling back onto their bed, the couple kissed for, what could have been, hours. Lorna suddenly flipped them over so she was on top.
"I wasn't done." She said huskily. "Let me show you how beautiful you are."
Lorna kissed her again, this time slow and soft. She let her tongue slip into Nicky's mouth and explore every inch of it. Nicky moaned deeply at the sensation it gave her. Lorna then moved down her jaw line and started peppering her neck with kisses. Then sucking hard on her pulse point, spending long minutes allowing Nicky to enjoy the feeling. Lorna moved down her body, leaving a trail of wet kisses as she did. Once she got to that jagged scar; she looked up at Nicky. The love Nicky saw in her eyes was beyond any amount of love she had ever known.
"I love you Nicky." Lorna breathed, before dipping her head and kissing down her scar; slow and soft A sense of acceptance, approval washed over Nicky. She finally felt like someone truly loved her, fully. She finally felt like she had found peace.
After Lorna had truly shown Nicky just how beautiful, animalistically beautiful, she thought she was they lay in each other's arms smiling.
Nicky looked down at Lorna, "Thank you. For everything. I couldn't have gotten through tonight without you."
"Of course baby. I love you." Lorna kissed her gently.
"I love you too." Nicky replied seriously, "I will say seeing you bitch slap my mother kinda turned me on. No one's ever done that for me before. Thank you Lorna, really."
Lorna hugged Nicky to her. "Of course. But is there really such a thing as kinda turned on for Nicky Nichols?"
Nicky laughed wholeheartedly. "Mmmm well we'll just have to find out now won't we?" Nicky waggled her eyebrows as she rolled them so she was on top of Lorna. Looking down at her, at this beautiful, amazing woman Nicky smiled. "I love you too Lorna Morello. I love you too." before devouring her lips in a heated kiss.
Author's Note: There you go guys! I hope you enjoyed this fic! Please review and let me know what you think! :)
Fic Facts:
1. When I wrote Nicky's mom the voice in my head for her was actually Lenard's mom on The Big Bang Theory.
2. When Lorna goes ape shit on Nicky's mom I was literally pounding on my keyboard. Had to take a ten minute breather after I wrote that scene.
3. The part where Lorna has Nicky look in the mirror is actually from a The L Word Bette/Tina fic I read. The long of the short of it is, Bette shows Tina just how beautiful she is by using a mirror.