Title: A Push and A Pull
Author: ReticentSurprise
Rating: R, for language, sexual situations, angst, and cutesy nicknames.
Pairings: Remus/Sirius, Sirius/James, James/Lily, Lily/Remus (full circle!), Peter/ . . . no one. Poor Peter.
Disclaimer: Not mine. Don't sue.
A/N: Please note, I did not follow the timeline at the HP Lexicon (I don't think). Dates are provided to drive me insane and make sure my timing fits. I tried my best to make it clear who's saying what, and Nadia greatly helped with that. Any resulting confusion is due to my reluctance to use names when only two people are in the room -- I'm trying to work on that with this fic. Great thanks to my APUSH (A.P. U.S. History) class, whose dirty minds almost equal my own. This madness is all their fault -- a big ol' brownie if you can guess which two lines they contributed i en masse /i . Much love to my Reluctant Beta Grrl and fellow Puppy Love shipper, Nadia. Now that I think about it, maybe this is HER fault. /This/ signifies italics, this is an action/sound effect, and all lowercase with no punctuation signifies a whisper.
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(1)::LATE AT NIGHT ON A FULL MOON {04.23.78}::
"No, please, no, not them . . . "
yawn "Prongs? What are you going on about?"
"Please, no, don't kill them . . . "
"Jim, boy-o, wake up."
"Oh, God, no! Please, no, don't let them be -- God, no!"
"James! Wake up!"
"What?!" Pause. "Oh. Padfoot. What, um . . . "
"You had quite a nightmare. Want to talk about it?"
"We'll wake Peter."
"He's out cold. He should be in the hospital wing, with that arm . . . "
"He wants to prove he's manly, can take the pain."
"Budge over, Prongs."
"Gah, these beds weren't made for two."
"We're skinny, we'll fit. Now. What was the dream about?"
"You'll think I'm some little pansy boy, so freaked out by a dream . . . "
"It sounded pretty bad."
"It /was/ pretty bad." Pause. "I'm saving up for a ring, Paddy. I'm gonna propose to Lily."
Pause.
"You're right, that is an awful dream."
punch
"Domesticated animal."
"Hunter's trophey."
"House-trained pet."
"Deer: it's what's for dinner."
"Stay away from China, mate."
"What was the dream?"
Pause.
"If we have a son, we're going to name him Harry. She wants all these daughters to torment him with makeup and dresses, like she never got a chance to do. I just want a son."
Pause.
"Did you have a nightmare or didn't you?"
"Hmm?"
"Did I waste my precious energy climbing into bed with you?"
"What are you on about?"
"Are you going to tell me what's going on in that scruffy head of yours or do I have to drag it out by your antlers?"
"It's . . . we're married. In the dream. And . . . /HE/ . . . comes. We've got a kid. And . . . /HE/ . . . kills them. Lily and the kid, just like that. I'm watching the whole time and can't do a thing about it."
"Christ."
"You're in it too. You and Remus are there, and you're both shouting at me to do something, do anything. But it's like I can't move, and I start shouting back for you two to do something, and then you leave and it's just me and /HIM/ and he holds . . . he holds up . . . her . . . head . . . "
"Okay, calm down. It's just a dream, boy-o, calm down, it was just a dream . . . "
"I-I don't . . . think it was."
"What?"
"I don't think it was just a dream."
"Oh, come on now, mate, you've been in Divination too long."
"No Paddy, it felt real. Really real."
"Just think about it, Prongs! Okay, sure, it's very likely that you and Lily will get married and have a kid. And, considering how you're planning on becoming an Auror, it's also likely that You-Know-Who will come after you. That much I'll grant you. But you can't honestly believe that Remus and I would just sit by and do nothing if he did!"
"I guess you're right . . . "
"Guess nothing."
"Okay, fine."
"Calmer now, O Skittish One?"
"Wait! Don't . . . don't leave yet."
"James, I'll be in the next bed. It's not like I'm really going anywhere."
"Please?"
Pause.
"Okay. Budge over a bit more, I'm falling off the edge."
Pause.
"Paddy?"
"Yeah?"
"Is that a wand in your pocket or are you just glad to see me?"
Pause.
"Jim?"
"Yeah?"
"I told you I was gay, right?"
"Not in so many words, but it was fairly obvious when I walked in on you snogging Remus." Pause. "Honestly, Siri, can we switch around or something? This is . . . kinda uncomfortable."
"I'm sorry, I'll get out."
"No, don't."
"Look, make up your mind, Prongs! Either kick me out or -- oh."
Pause.
embarrassed cough
"Why Mr. Prongs, I never knew you were a poof."
"Okay, you can shut up RIGHT NOW, thanks."
"What? I think it's -- "
Pause.
"You were saying?"
growl
-------
(2)::BEFORE BREAKFAST THE NEXT MORNING {04.24.78}::
yawn "Remus, why aren't you in the -- oh. Oh dear. Oh deer. OH SHIT!"
"Shh, Paddy, for Christ's sake shut up!"
"Prongs?"
"Yeah?"
"Is that what I think it is?"
"How did we fall asleep like this?"
"I don't know but it kind of hurts so can you TAKE IT OUT?!"
"Okay, okay, calm down . . . there."
"Jim?"
"Yeah?"
"What happened last night?"
"Well, we ran with Remus for a while, but Wormtail got caught by a fox who nearly broke his back. He turned human and only broke his wrist. And I tried to convince him to go up to the hospital wing, and he refused, so we came here. And you stayed with Remus until about three AM, at which time you woke me up from a horrible nightmare and then you climbed into my bed and we fucked for a while. And we somehow fell asleep like . . . that."
"Holy shitting mother of god!"
"I wasn't that bad, was I?"
"James, I'm dating Remus! As in ONLY dating Remus!"
"He doesn't have to know."
"He's a werewolf, Prongs! I probably smell like you! If I come within three feet of that boy he will know EXACTLY what happened here last night!"
"Okay, okay, chill out. Go take a couple of showers, let me think up something. Okay? Sirius, look at me. Okay?"
"It's never gonna work!"
"Quit talking in exclamations."
"I can't help it! I don't think you really understand what this means!"
"It means nothing. Right? We're best mates. Have been for years. And this, right here, means nothing. Got it?"
"Abso-fucking-lutely nothing. Got it."
"Showers, boy."
-------
(3)::THAT AFTERNOON {04.24.78}::
"James, is something wrong with Sirius?"
"Why do you ask?"
"He's been avoiding me all day . . . my God, what is that smell?"
"Oh, you like? It's this new cologne Lily got me . . . "
"Jesus, Prongs, that stinks like Peter's cauldron!"
"Sorry Moony. I forgot how much sharper your senses are after the full moon."
"What did you do, take a bath in it?"
"almost"
"Beg pardon?"
"I said 'goal posts.'"
"What has that to do with anything?"
"That's where I last saw Sirius, if you wanted to track him down. By the Quidditch goal posts."
"Okay, thanks. And for Pete's sake, take a bath, mate!"
-------
(4)::EARLY THE NEXT MORNING {04.25.78}::
"Well?"
"What the -- ?!"
"Shh, Paddy, it's me. Did it work?"
"Did what work, you brainless ungulate?"
"Did he smell it?"
"Oh. That. No, it was fine, although he wanted to know why I was avoiding him."
"Told you it would work. Am I brilliant, or am I brilliant?"
"Gah, you still reek of that crap, get outta my bed."
"The thanks I get!"
"Go soak your head, smelly . . . deer!"
"Go chase your tail, stupid mutt!"
"GO BACK TO SLEEP, BOTH OF YOU!"
"Sorry Peter."
"Sorry Peter."
-------
(5)::ONE WEEK LATER {05.02.78}::
"Peter Pettigrew, isn't it?"
"Y-yes."
"Where are your illustrious friends?"
"They're b-busy."
"They're often busy, are they not? And how often does this 'business' involve you, Peter?"
"Often enough!"
"How often is 'enough?' Once a week? Twice? When they need your help with distracting a professor?"
"What do you want, M-malfoy?"
"Getting brave now, aren't you, Little Gryffindor?"
"I said, what do you want?"
"I've got powerful friends, Little Gryffindor. Much more powerful than Potter or Black. And luckily for you, these friends are interested in you."
"Interested how?"
"You've got a certain . . . potential that all of your friends lack. Does that make you feel good, knowing you have something even they don't have?"
"W-what d'you w-want?"
"I 'w-want' you to think about what I've said. Let's not tell your friends, hmm? I'll be getting in touch, Little Gryffindor. We'll talk more then."
-------
(6)::ONE WEEK LATER {05.09.78}::
"Oy, Wormtail!"
"Yes?"
"When's the last time you had a girlfriend?"
Pause.
"Um . . . "
"That's what I thought."
"Any particular reason for asking, Padfoot?"
"I was wondering if you hadn't had a girlfriend in so long because you had a boyfriend instead."
Pause.
". . . "
"Guess I was wrong . . . ?"
"Yeah."
"It would be okay if you were, you know."
"Padfoot . . . "
"I mean, it wouldn't make any difference to us, you know? We've been mates for seven years, we'd know you well enough to know that doesn't change anything."
"Sirius . . . "
"So if you're really just in denial or firmly ensconced in the closet or -- "
"SIRIUS!"
"What?"
"I'M NOT GAY!"
"I was just saying . . . "
door slam
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(7)::A FEW DAYS LATER {05.11.78}::
"I think Wormy's homophobic."
"Okay, and . . . ?"
"It doesn't strike you as rather ironic, that a homophobe should be in a dorm with the three of us?"
"Paddy, I'm not gay."
"Straight as an arrow?"
"Straighter."
"Closet case."
"I SO am not!"
"Because you're into Evans?"
"Right!"
"Fine, I'll grant you bi."
"Damn it!"
"Can't deny the truth, Jamie-boy."
"What truth is that, dear 'Rius."
"Don't call me that, twat."
"Don't call me Jamie, prat."
"The truth is that you like boys."
"I do not like boys!"
"Oh, so I'm special?"
"No, you're just so feminine."
"Left myself open for that one."
"Damn straight."
"But I'm not straight. And neither are you."
"I'm going to regret this, but I'll take the bait. How do I prove it?"
"Kiss me."
"Isn't that a bit counter-productive?"
"Not from my side of things."
"You are the most INFURIATING -- "
Pause.
"Yes?"
"Don't you smirk at me like that, Sirius Black."
Pause.
"Horny little beast, aren't you?"
"By definition."
Pause.
"Prongs?"
"WHAT?"
"You're not helping your case any right now, mate."
"Right now, I don't give a damn."
Pause.
-------
(8)::THE NEXT DAY {05.12.78}::
"Paddy."
"Little busy here, Jim."
"Homework can wait. This is important."
"Who said he was doing homework? We're working on -- "
"Remus, I'm sorry, I'll bring him back in a few minutes, but I really need to talk to you NOW, Sirius."
"But -- "
"Now!"
door close
"But -- "
"But WHAT, Sirius?!"
"But my boyfriend!"
"Which is precisely what I wanted to talk to you about!"
"What about him? Is he okay, is there something he's not telling me?"
"More the opposite."
"What do you . . . oh. That. Yesterday."
"Yes. /That./ What were you thinking, Sirius?!"
"It wasn't any thing, Prongs. I was just trying to help yourself realize that you are deeply embedded in the closet."
"Padfoot, I haven't snogged Lily like I snogged you yesterday."
"She doesn't know what she's missing."
"Sirius!"
"What? You're a good kisser, no denying."
"What happened to you being so worried about cheating on Remus?"
"I wasn't cheating!"
"What do you call it then?"
"I call it, as I already said, trying to help you realize your sexuality."
"I've realized my sexuality quite well, thanks."
"Okay then, so it'll never happen again."
"Never."
Pause.
"Jim?"
Pause.
"What?"
"We probably -- " Pause. "Shouldn't do this -- " Pause. "With Remus just on the other side of the door."
Pause.
"Good point. Later, mate."
"Later."
-------
(9)::A FEW DAYS LATER {05.16.78}::
"Well well well. It's true then. Even the littlest Gryffindor has a touch of courage in him."
"H-hello, M-m-malfoy."
"We almost thought you weren't going to show. Have you thought about our last little conversation?"
"Y-yes."
"And what have you decided?"
"I'd like to know more."
"Wonderful. My friends will be so pleased. How about if we meet up in the Hog's Head at the next full moon?"
"Wh-why the full moon?"
"Why not? Don't worry, Little Gryffindor, my friends aren't werewolves. You'll be safe."
"I don't know . . . "
"No backing out now, I'm afraid. If you aren't there, I'll be sure that you regret it, are we clear?"
"Y-y-yes."
"Good. I can see already, we're going to have a very fruitful friendship."
-------
(10)::THE NEXT FULL MOON {05.22.78}::
"Uh, Peter?"
"Yes?"
"Where are you going?"
"Wh-what do you mean?"
"It's the full moon, Peter. Remus is expecting us to run with him tonight."
"Is it? I f-f-forgot, and I ma-made plans."
"Who with?"
"Um . . . "
"It's a girl, isn't it!"
"We-well . . . "
"Our little Peter's all grown up, got himself a girlfriend! Don't worry Peter, I'll cover for you."
"Thanks, Sirius."
-------
(11)::LATER {05.22.78}::
"Hello, Little Gryffindor."
"Wh-who is that?"
"That's my friend. I'm going to leave you two alone to get acquainted, all right?"
"Er, wait!"
door close
"Hello, Peter."
"Wh-who are you?"
"For now, I think, you can call me Tom. Until I get to know you a little better."
"Wh -- ?"
"Let me make one thing absolutely clear right now, Pettigrew. It is not your place to question me. If we are going to be . . . friends . . . you will do what I say, when I say it. Understand?"
"Y-yes."
"Yes what?"
"Y-y-yes . . . Tom?"
"Yes /sir/."
"Y-yes . . . sir."
"What do your friends call you, Pettigrew?"
"W-wormtail." Pause. "Sir."
"Why do they call you that, I wonder."
Pause.
-------
(12)::THE NEXT MORNING {05.23.78}::
"Where was Wormtail?"
"Our little Wormy's all grown up, Prongs! He was out with a girl."
"He blew us off for a girl?"
"Hey, if you were him, wouldn't you do the same thing?"
"No! We've been running as a pack for two and a half years, every full moon! He could have scheduled his date for another time!"
"Prongs, mate, it's Peter we're talking about. /She/ probably set the date."
-------
(13)::LATER THAT DAY {05.23.78}::
"We missed you last night Peter."
"Is that your way of telling me I should have known better than to not run last night?"
Pause.
"Are you okay?"
"Yes, I'm sorry, it's just that I had a . . . date . . . last night and it didn't go too well."
"I'm sorry. What happened?"
Pause.
"I'd really . . . rather not talk about it."
"what's wrong with your arm"
"What did you say?"
"What's wrong with your arm?"
"it's nothing"
Pause.
"If you feel like telling the truth, come talk to me."
"Remus . . . "
"Yes?"
" . . . nothing."
-------
(14)::THE NEXT DAY {05.24.78}::
"Siri?"
"Hm?"
"I think there's something wrong with Peter."
"Speak up, Re-re, I can't hear you."
"I said, I think there's something wrong with Peter."
"Wrong? What's wrong? Grades wrong, mentally wrong, physically wrong . . . "
"I think . . . I think . . . it sounds kind of stupid . . . "
"You know I won't laugh at you. Just spit it out."
"I think he might be working for Voldemort." Pause. "You're laughing!"
"I'm sorry, Moony, it's just ridiculous! Think about what you're saying. This is /Wormtail/, Moon-baby."
Pause.
"Why do you always call me stupid nicknames when you want something?"
Pause.
"What makes you think I want something?"
Pause.
"The way your hands are groping in my pants are a clue."
Pause.
"Well if that's the way you feel about it . . . "
Pause.
-------
(15)::A FEW DAYS LATER {05.26.78}::
"Prongs?"
"Uh-huh?"
"Have you noticed anything . . . odd about Peter lately?"
"Other than a lot of absenses, not really."
"Where do you think he's been going?"
"Probably to meet up with that girl he's been seeing."
"I wonder who she is."
"Lily thinks she's in Hufflepuff."
"You talked to Evans about this?"
"Moony, I talk to her about everything. If I didn't, she'd just drag it out of me."
"When you say 'everything,' do you really mean /everything/?"
"You mean does she know where we go every month?"
"Yeah."
"The very first thing she ever asked me -- once we, you know, started actually talking instead of her just hurling insults -- was if you were a werewolf. She'd noticed the same things we had, she just didn't feel comfortable coming out and saying something to you."
"In case I ripped her throat out?"
"Oh yeah, that was definitely it. No, you mangy mutt!"
"Hey now! I'm no domesticated dog!"
"Yeah, that's your better half."
"So why didn't she come to me?"
"She just felt like she didn't know you well enough. Face it, other than the Marauders, few get close to you."
"You think that's accidental?"
Pause.
"So . . . what about Peter did you want to talk about?"
"Never mind."
-------
(16)::THE NEXT DAY {05.27.78}::
"Remus?"
"What?"
"Are you okay?"
"What do you mean?"
"You've been avoiding me all week, don't deny it."
Pause.
"Okay."
"Why? What did I do?"
"Peter . . . "
"Yes?"
"Who did you meet last full moon?"
"I-I-I, er . . . "
Pause.
"That's what I thought."
"If you tell Sirius, he'll never let me hear the end of it, Moony!"
Pause.
"I can't help you if you won't tell me who it was."
"Well . . . er . . . oh . . . "
"Come on out with it, Wormtail!"
"His name is Tom!"
b . . . /b
"He . . . he graduated a few years ago. Someone in Ravenclaw set us up."
b . . . /b
"He set the date for the full moon, at the Hog's Head, and I couldn't give him a good reason /why/ I couldn't go without telling him the truth, and I couldn't possibly tell him the truth and you know it!"
b . . . /b
"Please. Please say something, Remus. I was hoping that you, at least, would have understood why I didn't say anything beforehand -- "
"You're right."
Pause.
"Ab-about what?"
"Sirius would never let you hear the end of it."
"Oh!"
"Hey -- "
"Hmm?"
"What was wrong with your arm when you came back?"
"He . . . I told you it didn't go all that well, right?"
"You mean he -- "
"Yeah. Um. I won't be, ah, meeting up with him again."
"I understand."
Pause.
"Remus?"
"Hmm?"
"Is James gay?"
"With the way he acts around Evans, I kind of doubt it. Why?"
"It's just I saw him . . . nevermind."
"You sure?"
"Yeah."
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(17)::THE NEXT DAY {05.28.78}::
"Prongs, I've got some thing I need to ask you."
"Okay, shoot."
"Well, it's like this . . . I mean, there was this one time . . . and I was just kind of wondering . . . because it doesn't seem likely . . . but I had to KNOW for certain . . . so that's why I decided to ask . . . "
"Hold on, wait. I'm not psychic here, Pete. You actually have to form a complete sentence or two to ask me something."
"Okay. Okay. Well . . . okay."
"Okay?"
"Okay."
Pause.
"Um, Peter?"
"Yes?"
"You haven't actually asked me anything, yet."
"oh"
"Yeah."
"It's not important anyway."
-------
(18)::A FEW DAYS LATER {05.30.78}::
"You're quiet today." Pause. "Is your Potions homework really that interesting?" Pause. "C'mon, Reme, what's up?"
"This /is/ study hall, James. The purpose is to study."
"You don't need to study."
"You do."
"I'll study later, when Paddy wants to do something. It'll annoy the hell out of him."
"If you study now, too, you'll get twice as much done."
"Bah to your sensible logic, bah!"
"Is there a problem, Mr. Potter?"
"No, Professor."
"Then I suggest you study!"
"Yes, Professor."
Pause.
"Why Mr. Prongs, has Professor Flitwick failed to put the fear of exams into you?"
"I believe, Mr. Moony, that it was a complete and utter failure, for it managed to distract your esteemed self as well."
Pause.
"I'm getting worried about Peter."
"He's just nervous about the exams, you know how he hates being tested."
"No, it's more than that. Like that date he was on the last full moon? I asked him about it."
"What did he say?"
"Only half the truth and nothing worth repeating."
"Huh. What makes you so sure?"
"Instinct, I guess."
"Developing women's intuition now, are you?"
"Oh, stuff it. Insolent prey."
"Rangy cur."
"Horny beast."
"Flea bag."
"Egotistical prick."
"Touche. Getting a little too close to home now, thanks."
"You started it."
"Potter! Lupin! Detention!"
"Fuck."
"Shit."
-------
(19)::A FEW DAYS LATER {06.01.78}::
"Prongs . . . !"
"Shh! God, Siri, you're so loud."
"God that feels /good/ . . . "
Pause.
"What about Remus?"
"What about him?"
"What if he hears? What if he finds out what we've been doing behind his back? What will he say?"
"What would Evans say?"
"You leave her out of this!"
"And you, him."
Pause.
"This isn't right, Siri."
"What is right?"
"I don't know, but I do know that it is /not/ fucking your friend's boyfriend while he's in detention!"
Pause.
"What did you say?"
"This can't be right."
"I agree."
"Then why keep it up?"
"Because it's /good/."
------
(20)::A FEW DAYS LATER {06.06.78}::
"Let's go on a kitchen raid!"
"Not tonight, we should study."
"C'mon Sirius, you sound like Remus!"
"No, James, he's right. N.E.W.T.s soon, we really should study."
Pause.
"How about if I study for thirty minutes, then we get food, and then we come back here to eat it while we study for a bit more?"
"I said no. C'mon, Bambi, open your book."
"C'mon, Blackie, you gotta give some to get some."
snicker "I've heard that before."
"Things I never wanted to hear about my best friend's sex life."
"How do you give a girl -- "
"You don't."
"Oh." Pause. "/OH/!"
"Thanks, Jim. Just out me to the common room, why don't you?"
"I didn't need to. You did it very well yourself. I just helped his mind along a little faster, is all. Besides, no one else is in here, brainless pooch."
"You said it loud enough for the Slytherins to hear, vocal ungulate!"
"Oh . . . OH . . . "
quiet door close
"Is he gonna be all right?"
"Depends on your definition of 'all right,' I suppose."
"Should I go after him?"
"He's always tagging along after you, it might make a nice change."
door open
"Hi Remus. Bye Remus."
door close
"Bye, James. What was that all about?"
"Don't worry about it. Feeling better, Moony?"
"A bit. Chocolate does wonders, you know?"
"So does a blow job."
"Well if you're offering . . . "
-------
(21)::LATER {06.06.78}::
"Remus, you're looking better."
"Sirius is an excellent nurse, surprisingly."
"Think he could help me with this wrist? Stupid stairs, I fell again. Third time this week."
"You might want to go to Madam Pomfrey about that one, Peter."
"You don't think he can do it?"
"It's not a question of ability, it's a doubt that his ministrations will help. Blow-jobs aren't that beneficial to broken wrists."
"What does that -- oh! Oh."
"You off to the nurse now?"
"Yes. Oh."
-------
(22)::THE NEXT MORNING {06.07.78}::
"Is is just me or has Peter been acting . . . strangely . . . lately? Making that noise, sounding like he's involved in a bad fake-orgasm contest? Everything you say to him, it's 'Oh' this or 'OH!' that. I mean, did you notice it?"
"Mmmm . . . just a bit."
"Oh . . . are you done already?"
"You are."
"I am. Weird. Hadn't noticed."
"You've got some serious issues, Paddy."
"Shut up and go down so I can screw."
"Bossy, bossy."
"Why do you only get sarcastic when we're fucking, Moon-baby?"
"Call me that again and you'll be getting reacquainted with your hand."
-------
(23)::THAT AFTERNOON {06.07.78}::
"Remus?"
"Peter."
"Remus . . . ?"
"We've already done this."
" . . . I've got a question. A kind of . . . personal . . . question."
"Personal for you or personal for me?"
"Kind of both. More so you."
"Are you sure you're going to want an answer? I know my personal life makes you rather uncomfortable."
"More so with . . . Sirius . . . than you. You still see girls, and that puts me back on more familiar ground."
"All right then. So what's your question?"
"Well . . . you and . . . Sirius . . . are kind of seeing each other . . . steady, right?"
"Yes, we are. And?"
"Um . . . well . . . it's just that . . . "
"Spit it out, Peter, I'm not going be upset with you."
"Then why are he and James sleeping with each other?"
b . . . /b
"Remus?"
b . . . /b
"Remus, please say something."
b . . . /b
"Um. You look a little scary right now, Remus."
"Where are they?"
"I don't . . . really . . . ah . . . oh jeez -- "
"Where. Are. They. ?."
"Dorm."
-------
(24)::A FEW MINUTES LATER {06.07.78}::
door opens
"What? What's the . . . ohshitohshitohshit."
"Hand me my glasses, prat."
"Remus? Now, I know what this looks like, but you have to let me try to explain."
"Sirius, hand me my glasses!"
"Honestly, Re, it isn't what -- "
"Shit, Siri, what did you do to my pants?!"
"Shut UP James!"
door slams
Pause.
"You think he's upset?"
"No Jim. I think he's happy for us."
"Really?"
punch, thud, door slam
"Touchy bastard."
-------
(25)::EVENING OF THE NEXT DAY {06.08.78}::
"Why was Remus sleeping in the common room instead of your dorm last night?"
"Lily, you look lovely this evening. How was Ancient Runes?"
"I asked you a question, James Potter."
"And I'm cleverly avoiding it by distracting you with compliments. Your hair looks really smashing: you should wear it down more often."
"James -- "
"And since that didn't work, I'm going to try to distract you with a kiss."
Pause.
"Why do you smell like Sirius?"
"Lily, I live in a dorm with him."
"You never before smelled like him when I kissed you. You've never tasted like him either."
Pause.
"lily"
"Why. Do you taste. Like Sirius?"
"Lily . . . Lily!"
door slams
Pause.
"Shit!"
-------
(26)::LATER THAT NIGHT {06.08.78}::
"I just can't believe them."
"Did he offer you any explanation?"
"No. You?"
"Nothing. He even tried to deny it. I walk in on them, and he tries to deny it!"
"One good thing at least . . . "
"We have Firewhiskey."
"Okay, two good things."
"Lily, there is absolutely nothing else good."
"Only two more weeks of school. Then we'll never have to see either of them again."
"We always talked about what we'd do when we got out of here. Flats in London, fighting evil together, and Apparating to secluded forests every full moon to run as a pack."
"We were going to get married and have six kids."
"He proposed?"
"He was saving up for a ring to do it properly."
"And he never told us."
"I'll bet . . . /HE/ knew."
"Bastards!"
"We even had names picked out."
"Any named Remus?"
"Christina Elizabeth, Ashley Rose, Meredith Elyse, Harry James, Katherine Margaret, and Jennifer Anne."
"Only the one boy?"
"Only the one. And he'll have older sisters to put him in dresses and make-up when he's little, and he'll have younger sisters to tease when they're little and to be protective of when they're older."
"Poor kid."
quiet laugh
"What?"
"Here we are, talking like they're all alive. None of them are ever going to be born, now."
"Bastards. It was a good thing you two had going."
"Remus, the bottle's empty."
"And they had to go and screw it all up!"
"I've got some brandy in my trunk, I'll get it and be right back . . . "
"But at least it's the end of seventh year, although it does make you wonder how long they've been . . . where are you going?"
"To get the brandy."
"We don't need the brandy. We're drunk enough for tonight."
"Tonight, I couldn't possibly get drunk enough."
"It's a Thursday, Lil. We've got Double Potions first thing tomorrow with the Slytherins. Wait til tomorrow night to get really drunk."
Pause.
"Remus. How did I end up in your lap?"
"I pulled you there."
"I think I'm drunker than I thought."
Pause.
"I never noticed your eyes . . . "
"What about them?"
"One is more blue than green."
"I was born with one blue eye and one green eye. The blue one changed but never quite matched." Pause. "James never noticed."
"Don't say his name!"
"Well I can't keep calling him 'Him' forever! What would you have me say?"
"My name."
Pause.
-------
(27)::EARLY THE NEXT MORNING {06.09.78}::
"This was not the smartest thing we could have done."
"It was a brilliant idea at the time."
"We were drunk at the time."
"I think we might still be drunk."
"I never knew werewolves could get drunk."
"We're only human, after all."
"There's something fundamentally inaccurate about that statement."
"Lily."
"Yes?"
"We just had sex in the common room."
"Yes."
"We just had sex in the common room, the night after you found out your boyfriend has been screwing my boyfriend."
"Yes. And it was your idea, I might add."
"We just had sex in the common room, the night after you found out your boyfriend has been screwing my boyfriend, and two nights after I found out the same thing."
"Is this going somewhere?"
"Does this make us even?"
"Depends on how long they've been doing it."
"Would you go back to him?"
"I don't really know. Would you?"
"He gives head like a vaccuum."
"And that makes it okay that he's been vaccuum-cleaning James?"
Pause.
"That's possibly the most disturbing thing I've ever heard you say."
"I'm definitely still drunk."
"Should we get dressed or into sleeping bags or something before everyone wakes up?"
"What time is it?"
"I don't know, but I think it's getting lighter outside."
"Then it's probably a good idea."
Pause.
"Well, I can't get up until you do, so you first."
"I'm too tired."
"Lil . . . "
faint door opens
"Yes, Reme?"
"I really think you should get up."
yawn "What's going on down -- OH SHIT!"
"Shit!"
"Shit? Oh. Lily, it's the vaccuum cleaner."
"Shit, I noticed. Where's my bra?"
-------
(28)::THAT AFTERNOON {06.09.78}::
"Malfoy."
"Congratulations, Little Gryffindor. You managed to say my name without stuttering. I must admit, I am proud of you."
"Tell . . . Tom . . . that it's working. Potter, Black, Lupin, and Evans are all furious at each other. No one is talking to anyone else."
"Why would our dear friend Tom be interested in your sordid little friends?"
"It's not our place to ask questions, Malfoy. I do as he tells me."
"What a good little servant you are."
"Better his servant than his bitch, Blondie."
door close
"You'll pay for that one, Pettigrew. You'll pay dearly."
-------
(29)::THE NEXT AFTERNOON {06.10.78}::
"I cannot believe you."
"Oh grow up James. We were drunk."
"Lily, you slept with Remus! YOU slept with REMUS!"
"Yeah, and you've been fucking Sirius for God-knows-how-long, and you and I were going to be married, and it's the end of seventh year and we're going to go out there and have to fight You-Know-Who, and Harry will never have his sisters and we're all going to lose touch with each other and have to face this evil all on our own, seperately, and we're all going to die and it's all going to be such a waste and none of it would have happened if it weren't for you and Sirius!"
Pause.
"Wow." Pause. "Who's Harry?"
"All that and Harry is what you focus on?"
"We were going to name our son Harry."
"I didn't think you would remember."
"Lily, would you believe me if I said I was sorry?"
"Maybe if I thought you truly sorry, I would."
"I /am/ truly sorry."
"What are you sorry for? Are you sorry that you cheated on me, or are you sorry that I slept with Remus?"
"Lily . . . "
"I'm going to go and let you think about it. Get back to me when you have an answer."
-------
(30)::THE SAME TIME, ELSEWHERE {06.10.78}::
"Listen to me, please?"
"Listen to you yell at me?"
"No."
"Don't tell me that you're not upset."
"Oh, I'm pissed as hell. If she weren't a girl, I'd beat the shit out of her."
"Don't tell her that."
"She wouldn't listen to me even if I tried to. I wanted to apologize."
"Don't like how it feels, walking in on your boyfriend with someone else?"
"To say the least. It's quite a wake-up call."
"Did you have anything else to say?"
"Remus, I'm sorry. I don't really know what I was thinking."
"What are you thinking now?"
"That it's the end of seventh year, and we're going to be out there fighting soon, and I could well understand if you never want to see me again after this, but it's terrifying to think that you might die in this war and I'd never have gotten a chance to let you know how sorry I am."
Pause.
"Is that all?"
"If there's anything you want to tell me, shout at me, ask me, go ahead. I'll do whatever you want me to do. I'll go throw myself in the lake, not show up at the next full moon, humiliate myself in front of Snivellous, or sleep under your bed with a collar around my neck so you can keep track of me."
"How long has it been going on?"
"A couple months."
"Why?"
"I . . . don't rightly know. It was the night after that one rough full moon, when you were in the hospital wing and Peter should have been there. James had a nightmare, and I went over to wake him up, and the next thing I know it's morning and his di-- "
"You can stop that right there, thanks. Why did you keep on?"
"I have no idea."
"When you do know, get back to me. Until then, I think it'd be best if we just stayed away from each other."
"What about the pack?"
Pause.
"I'll remind you that deer are prey and leave it at that."
"Shit, Moony, you wouldn't -- !"
"I wouldn't. The wolf might. I'm not willing to risk it."
-------
(31)::LATER {06.10.78}::
"She forgive you?"
"No. He, you?"
"I'm not sure if he wants to. He said the wolf . . . won't want to see Prongs for a while."
"By the time he's ready, we might have graduated."
Pause.
"Where's Peter?"
Pause.
"When's the last time you talked to him?"
"A couple of days ago, I think. Before . . . you know."
"Yeah, same here. Weird."
-------
(32)::THE SAME TIME, ELSEWHERE {06.10.78}::
"Did he apologize to you?"
"I think he might have been trying to. He, you?"
"Yes, actually. Very eloquently, in fact."
"But . . . ?"
"But. But he said he didn't know why he did it, why they kept on. I pretty much told him to stay away until he could figure it out." Pause. "Hey, have you see Peter about?"
"Now that I think of it, no."
"Huh. Weird."
"Maybe he's with James and Sirius."
"Would you go back to him, Lily?"
"I still don't know. He didn't even know what he was apologizing for. Can you believe that?"
"Knowing James? Yeah, I kinda can."
"You sound kind of bitter."
"Don't I have a right?" Pause. "Don't get me wrong. He's usually a great friend. It was he who first thought of their becoming Animagi."
"But . . . ?"
"But he can be a bit clueless. And pigheaded."
"Oh believe me, I've noticed."
Pause.
"Lil?"
"Yes?"
"Why are we kissing in the back of the library?"
"Because we are completely stressed out about our upcoming N.E.W.T.s, in addition to the stress going on with our now ex-boyfriends, and this has created such a build up of sexual tension that we are releasing it the only way we can."
Pause.
"Wow. That was . . . a lot of big words."
"All your blood has left your brain for your penis, hasn't it?"
"Yup."
"I can solve that problem . . . "
"WAIT!"
"What?"
"First off, we're in the LIBRARY, Lily! Not a smart place to just start fucking. Secondly, what about the boys?"
"What about the boys?"
"If we keep up with this, we are no better than they are."
"Actually, you're a lot better than James."
blink blink
"Let's go."
"Where?"
"Dorm."
-------
(33)::LATER {06.10.78}::
"Well, that's the last of the homework."
"Gah, I've still got that Transfiguration essay to do. Let me copy?"
"Sure. Hey, what time is it?"
"Ummm . . . 11:35. Past curfew. If you want to go out you'll need -- "
"I don't, Mr. Head Boy, it's not that."
"What then?"
"Remus hasn't come back. His sleeping bag is still in the corner . . . you don't think he's back to sleeping in the dorm, do you?"
"I dunno, go up and check."
-------
(34)::A FEW MOMENTS LATER {06.10.78}::
"Remy? You up here? Hey, Re -- HOLY SHIT!"
"What the -- ?"
"Do you mind, Sirius? The curtains were CLOSED for a reason, you stupid dog!"
"I'm a stupid dog? I'M A STUPID DOG?! You and that bitch must be in heat, fucking all over the place!"
"I beg your pardon -- !"
"Shut up, Lily!"
"Stay out of this, Lil, and don't you DARE tell her to shut up, you filthy mongrel!"
"How dare you two get pissed at me and James when you're fucking like bunnies at every opportunity?!"
"The difference is, my dear Padfoot, that WE aren't cheating on someone to do so! You know, the last couple of times, I'd wondered why you were only half-way there, why your eyes were glazed over. Now I know why -- you had to pretend I was PRONGS to even get it up with me!"
"What's going on up -- oh. Well then."
"Go back downstairs, James, I've got this in control."
"Yes, Sirius, because holding a screaming match always helps. Lily, I believe this is your shirt."
"Thank you."
"Jim, how can you be so calm? Look at them! It doesn't take much imagination to think of what they were doing when I came up here!"
"Sirius, calm down. Remus, put something on. Lily, I think it might be for the best if you were to go back to your dorm."
"I'll talk to you tomorrow, Remus."
"Goodnight, Lil."
door close
"Remus, I am this close to punching you in the jaw. If you EVER touch my girl again -- "
"Your girl? Your girl?! She's no more yours than Sirius is mine, James! You lost the right to call her that the instant you two started fucking around!"
"All right, for Christ's sake Remus, we get it! We made a mistake and we're sorry! Do you have to keep rubbing our faces in it?!"
"Do you think a simple 'I'm sorry' is sufficient, Jim? Are you really that naive? No, they want us to get down on our knees and GROVEL for mercy!"
"I never said any such thing, Sirius Black! But considering how you're acting right now, even if you WERE to do so, I doubt it'd help anything!"
"Fine! We'll stay out of your way for the rest of school, will that make you happy?"
"/Ecstatic/!"
"Fine!"
"Fine!"
"/Fine/!"
-------
(35)::A FEW DAYS LATER {06.13.78}::
"Um, Remus?"
"Hello, Peter."
"Are you not going to talk to Sirius and James until graduation?"
"That's the plan."
"Oh." Pause. "Am I allowed to talk to them?"
"You are allowed to do anything you like, Peter. Who am I to govern your actions? For Christ's sake, I don't even have a say in what my own fucking boyfriend does, am I supposed to dictate what you do?" Pause. "I'm sorry."
"It's okay." Pause. "Hey, one good thing at least."
"You've got Firewhiskey?"
Pause.
"No . . . "
"What then?"
"A week and a half left."
-------
(36)::A FEW DAYS LATER {06.15.78}::
"Peter? What's wrong, why are you crying?"
"The Fat Lady won't let me in the common room, exams are in four days, my arm hurts, I can't find my stupid Potions essay, and you STILL aren't talking to Remus or Lily and I feel so awful whenever I talk to you and James or him and Lily, because I know the others are hurt that I don't take their side but I just can't take sides in this and I'm sick of all this bickering and silent treatment and THE FAT LADY WON'T LET ME IN THE COMMON ROOM!"
Pause.
"Wow."
"I'm sorry."
"No, no, don't be. She's changed the password again, it happened this morning, and this is probably a perfectly normal reaction. It's all just stress, Wormtail, all just stress."
"I'm so sick of this. I almost can't wait to get out of here."
Pause.
"Are you going to fight? When we get out, I mean."
"Are you crazy? What else would I do?"
Pause.
"How can you look forward to leaving this safety for the danger of risking death every day?"
Pause.
"I guess it just goes to show how things have gone downhill since you three started fighting."
"Um, what was this about your arm?"
"It's nothing . . . "
"You sure?"
"Yeah. Just . . . stress."
"If you say so."
-------
(37)::THE NEXT DAY {06.16.78}::
bam!
"Sorry!"
"Sorry!" Pause. "Sirius."
Pause.
"I'm sorry, I, uh, wasn't watching where I was, er, going . . . "
"Neither was I."
"So, um . . . how have you been? Remus."
"I'm getting used to the common room sofa as a bed."
"You don't have to do that, you know."
"You're right, I could be sleeping in the dorm room and be around people 24 hours a day that I don't talk to."
Pause.
"I'm sorry."
Pause.
"I have to run, I'm going to be late for an exam."
"What? Exams aren't until next -- oh. The full moon."
"Yes. It falls most unconveiniently in the middle of exams week. Goodbye, Sirius."
Pause.
"Moony -- "
"What?"
"The full moon . . . "
"As we just discussed, it is in four days."
Pause.
"um . . . "
"Oh. You want to know about the pack."
"yeah"
"Do you have an answer for me yet?"
"For why James and I kept it up?" Pause. "Not really, not yet."
"If you don't have an answer for me, I doubt very much the wolf is going to be happy to see you. And I severely doubt he's going to want to see Prongs at all, still. Goodbye."
-------
(38)::A FEW DAYS LATER {06.18.78}::
"Peter?"
"What? Oh. Hi."
"Hey. I've got a question for you."
"Er, okay. What? Will it take long? I really need to study . . . Potions exam tomorrow, you know how I am in Potions . . . "
"When did you find out James and Sirius were . . . you know?"
"Shit, why are you bringing this up now?"
"I just need to know. I don't want to start it all up again, not when it's settling down, but . . . I need to know. How did you find out, and how did I not?"
"It was . . . Christ, it must have been the full moon in April. They thought I was asleep, but my arm hurt so much I couldn't sleep. James had a nightmare, and Sirius went over to wake him up. They were quiet for a long time, I guess I figured they were just talking, and then they, ah, started to get . . . louder. When it got so I couldn't take it, I just grabbed my wand and threw a spell at them. I must have knocked them unconscious, I dunno, they weren't awake when I got up."
Pause.
"Why did you wait so long to tell me?"
"I don't know. I wanted to: I tried to, a couple of times. But it was just so . . . stupid, I dunno. I mean, I could see Sirius really cared about you . . . I dunno, maybe I thought it was just my imagination. Are you mad at me?"
Pause.
"I suppose I should be, but I can't be. None of it's your fault, Peter. I'm sorry we've dragged you into the middle of this."
"That's okay. Hey, help me study?"
"Sure. What do you need to review first?"
-------
(39)::A FEW DAYS LATER {06.23.78}::
"Well, we graduate today."
"We haven't made up to our boyfriends."
"We don't know if we'll ever see them again."
"We don't know who will die in this war."
"We don't know if we'll ever love anyone again."
"We don't know who will survive this war."
Pause.
"Want to get a flat together in London?"
"Moony, I thought we'd agreed we were going to go back to being friends."
"That's no reason for us to not share a flat, share the rent. Neither of us come from the richer background of Sirius or James, there's no denying that. Together we might be able to afford something better than what we'd have on our own."
Pause.
"We'll do it."
-------
(40)::SAME TIME, ELSEWHERE {06.23.78}::
"Well, we graduate today."
"Hard to believe seven years have gone by."
"Hard to believe all that's happened."
"You started us doing serious illegal magic . . . "
"You attempted to kill someone . . . "
"You fell in love with a redhead . . . "
"You fell in love with a werewolf . . . "
Pause.
"Nothing feels right."
"Welcome to the real world, I suppose."
-------
(41)::SAME TIME, ELSEWHERE {06.23.78}::
"Well, we graduate today."
"Your point?"
"I can declare my support for you openly, my lord! I can do whatever you wish without worrying that one of Dumbledore's will figure out what I am doing."
"Foolish boy! You will remain undercover. The proper opportunity to announce your alleigance will come: this is not it."
"Yes, my lord."
-------
(42)::A FEW MONTHS AFTER GRADUATION {07.11.78}::
"Remus?"
"Yes?"
"There's a . . . complication."
"What happened?"
"Reme . . . I'm pregnant."
"Okay . . . okay. Wow."
"Are you . . . ?"
"You have to go back to him, Lily."
"How do know it's not yours?"
"It can't be. I . . . can't have kids."
"Because of -- ?"
"Yes."
"Oh Remus! I'm so sorry!"
"It's okay." Pause. "Hey now, none of that. Don't cry."
"What am I going to do?!"
"You're going to tell him and the two of you are going to figure out what you should do calmly and rationally. It'll be just like how you solved the problems as Head Boy and Girl."
"It's nothing alike! Remus . . . what do I say to him?"
Pause.
"Shh, shh, it's gonna be okay."
-------
(43)::THE NEXT DAY {07.12.78}::
knock knock knock
"Coming! I'm coming!" Pause. "Lily."
"James, we need to talk."
"Okay. Um, come on in. Please ignore the mess, I wasn't exactly expecting visitors . . . bachelor flat and all that. What's going on? How have you been? I haven't seen you since graduation . . . haven't seen pretty much anybody but Dumbledore since grad -- "
"I'm pregnant."
Pause.
"Okay . . . okay. Wow. That's . . . great. I'm really happy for you two."
"James, it's not his."
b . . . /b
"Please say something, James."
"Why are you telling me this?"
"It's your baby, James. You need to have a say in what happens to . . . it."
"Meaning . . . ?"
"Four, five choices. Abortion, adoption, single motherhood . . . or we get married and have the family we always dreamed of."
"What's the fifth choice?"
"Shared custody, I suppose."
"What about Remus?"
"James, we've only been flatmates since graduation. Nothing more. We're not . . . we're better off as friends."
"Lily, I've got to think about this."
"That's okay, I understand. Here's the address, just come on over whenever you've decided. Or if you want to talk."
"Lily -- "
crack
Pause.
"Wow." Pause. "Fuck."
-------
(44)::A FEW DAYS LATER, MIDNIGHT {07.14.78}::
crack
"/Petrificus Totalus/!" Pause. "Oh. Sorry, James. Unannounced wizards apparating into our living room -- we can't be too careful."
"I . . . understand, I suppose. How are you, Remus?"
"Okay. I've had better, I've had worse. More better than worse, actually."
"Haven't we all."
"Lily's in her bedroom. She's probably asleep, so I'd knock before entering if I were you."
"Actually, I'd like to talk to you first."
Pause.
"I'll put on the kettle."
"Thanks. Moony, I gotta ask . . . are you two safe living here?"
"Safe from whom? Muggle crime, prying neighbors, school friends? If so, then the answer to all three appears to be 'yes.' We've been pretty isolated."
"Safe from Voldemort."
"Shit!"
"What?"
"I dropped the kettle."
"Answer the question."
"We've got safeguards. You're the first to visit, but the wards are supposed to repel any with ill intentions."
"That's rather broad."
"I'm working on perfecting it. Sugar?"
"Thank you."
"Prongs, get her out of here. She deserves better than a run-down flat with an unemployed werewolf in the bad side of London."
"Mind if I join or is this shindig for boys only?"
"Lily, hi. No, have a seat."
"Tea, Lil?"
"No thanks, Remus. Too late for tea."
"Come now, it's -- "
"Never too late for tea, so you've said many a time. But no, it's too late for tea in my book."
"Should we listen to the Head Girl, Prongs?"
"As Head Boy, I think I might have to."
"We're two months out of school, you can stop teasing me about that any day now, thanks."
"Are you done with me, James? Shall I leave you two to it?"
"You're welcome to stay."
"Maybe you should go."
Pause.
"I'll go. This is a private conversation."
quiet door close
"Well."
Pause.
"Well indeed."
-------
(45)::A FEW MOMENTS LATER, ELSEWHERE {07.14.78}::
crack
"Freeze!"
"It's just me!"
"It's -- what are you doing here?"
"Good to see you too."
"Of course it's good to see you, Remus! But what are you doing here at midnight? My nerves are jumpy enough without ex-boyfriends popping in all the time too!"
"James been here too?"
"Yeah. He wouldn't say what was bothering him though."
"So do you know?"
"That Lily's pregnant? Yeah, I know."
"They're talking it out right now. I didn't really want to be there."
"Did he have anything to say to you?"
"Just asked if we were safe."
"Are you?"
"Quite safe from -- "
Pause.
"What were you going to say?"
"Nothing."
"I know when you're lying to me, Remus."
"Most people do. The blushing is a dead give-away."
"Oh darn, and I'd hoped to astound you with my perceptiveness."
"You can still try. What was I going to say?"
"Probably some scathing, totally uncharacteristly bitter remark about being safe from friends."
"Okay, I am impressed."
"It was written all over your face."
"I pride myself on hiding my feelings."
"It doesn't work with me."
"Since when?"
"Since I started paying attention."
Pause.
"So. How have you been?"
"So-so. Haven't seen much of anyone but Dumbledore since graduation."
"That's what Prongs said too. What?"
"You called him 'Prongs.'"
"That's because it's his nickname."
"I'm sorry . . . just haven't heard any nicknames in a couple months."
Pause.
"We shouldn't have to be strangers, Paddy."
"How do you mean?"
"I mean we were friends for seven years. Why should it all stop just because we're out of school?"
"No good reason. I guess . . . I figured you wouldn't want to see me."
Pause.
"Let's all get together for supper this week. The Marauders."
"Who can get the message to Wormtail?"
"I think Prongs know where he is."
"It's a d -- deal, then."
"It's a date."
Pause.
"What do you think they'll decide?"
"Hard to tell. Lil really wants a baby, but she wants a baby with a father."
"Well, you could stand in for his father, Moony."
"Who said it was a boy?"
"It'll be a boy. He'll grow up to be a famous wizard around the world, even in uncivilized places like America."
"He'll have red hair and dark eyes . . . "
"He'll bend all the school rules, just like his uncles Padfoot, Moony, and Wormtail taught him, and Ravenclaw beauties will swoon as he does tricks on the Quidditch pitch . . . "
Pause.
"Who are we kidding?"
"Hmm?"
"She won't bring a child into this world at a time like this, and certainly not while living in the bad side of London. If she does, the child will be put up for adoption in a Muggle orphanage and he or she will hopefully grow up without ever knowing about Voldemort."
Pause.
"I can't believe that, Moony."
"Siri -- "
Pause.
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(46)::MID-MORNING THE NEXT DAY {07.15.78}::
"Hey, sleepy-head."
"'Lo, Remus."
"Tea?"
"Thank you."
"What did you and James decide?"
Pause.
"We . . . we can't do it, Remus. Especially not now, and not like this."
Pause.
"I'm sorry, Lil."
sobbing
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(47)::ELSEWHERE {07.15.78}::
"Prongs? What're you doing here?"
"I need to get drunk, Paddy. Where's your liquor?"
"Ah. I'm sorry, mate."
"Don't be sorry. Be a good dog and fetch the liquor."
"Here. Don't ask what it is."
"Thanks."
Pause.
"Why?"
"Not like this. We just couldn't . . . not like this."
Pause.
"I'm sorry, mate."
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(48)::A FEW DAYS LATER {07.20.78}::
"Well. It's done."
"We'll get through this, Lily, I promise."
"What's this 'we' stuff?"
"I know that this is probably a bad time, but in some ways, it's also the best time. Lily Evans, will you marry me, so that one day we can have that baby?"
Pause.
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