The doors of the Captains meeting hall opened up and all of the ranked captains shuffled in taking their rightful places. Yamamoto of course stood at the head of the two neatly arranged rows waiting for the room to quiet down. Once everyone was in place the meeting began. Soi Fon stepped forward first and gave her report. Finishing up she stepped back in line and the next Captain stepped forward. It was a regular check in meeting. Most of the reports were boring and contained information of little importance. Months had passed since the war with Aizen and his army of fierce arrancar. The Hogyoku had been destroyed, Aizen had been defeated and peace had been restored to the Soul Society and the world of the living. Ukitake was the last one to give a report. Nothing special. Then he stepped back in line. Yamamoto hummed to himself and stroked his beard. How the times have changed he mused. He cast his gaze out over his fellow captains and thought of his next words carefully. For the first time in decades he stepped down from his throne and walked down the neat lines.
"Your reports reassure me that the Soul Society is in capable hands. However we always face new and even larger threats to come in the future. My warning to you is not to relax, always be on your toes. Tread lightly."
As Yamamoto was finishing up a messenger burst through the large doors.
"Head Captain Yamamoto Sir!" He bowed.
"This is a closed Captains meeting!" Yamamoto yelled.
The messenger bowed lower. "Sir there are Espada at the gate."
Byakuya stepped out of line. "Impossible they were all eliminated months ago!"
Shunsui stepped out next. "Messenger what did you see?"
"I-I d-didn't see, squad ten encountered them at the northern gate."
"Have they engaged them yet?" Yamamoto demanded.
"No sir the Espada have imposed no violent action. They are requesting audience with you sir."
Yamamoto clenched his wooden staff and stroked his beard thoughtfully.
"Send them up"
At the northern gate Szayel paced back and forth constantly adjusting his glasses from his sweating.
"Gah! Who's idea was it to do this. It's such a bad idea! We're walking into a death trap. They're going to shove spears up our asses and wave us around like decorations!"
"Oh excuse me, do you really want to go back to Hueco Mundo?" Starrk asked.
"That might be better than being here!" Szayel yelled.
He was sweating profusely drenching his clothes.
"We already talked about this, we have no where to live. Las Noches is destroyed. We have no food, no money, no shelter. These people can help us!"
"Starrk they're going to scalp us and use my beautiful hair to make a shag oven mitt!"
"Starrk is right, we have no place left to go. We can only hope they're forgiving and take us in. Plus I'm sick of wearing these rags I want to be a Soul Reaper!" Grimmjow interjected.
It was true, they had no money, and no food. They could have resorted to eating souls but they were trying to prove a point to the Soul Society. The point was that they weren't monsters. At least they were trying not to be. But on the main subject they were here because a hollow never really dies. Once their bodies are destroyed they are reincarnated back in Hueco Mundo. All ten of them came back to life some time ago with absolutely nothing. They couldn't live in Las Noches because it was destroyed. Roaming the black desert for endless years didn't seem like an option either. Plus they had no food. All of the fancy clothing Aizen had given them was gone and they were now dressed in rags. All the hope they had was that the Soul Society would take them in. So here they were standing at the mercy of the Seireitei ragged and starving.
Several stealth force agents appeared in front of the ten Espada as Szayel was having his mini freak out. One of them stepped forward and Szayel covered his face and screamed like a little girl.
"You have been granted audience with the head captain. We will be escorting you. If you try to attack you will be eliminated without trial."
Szayel took his hands away from his face and blinked a few times.
"O-Okay!" He stuttered.
The stealth force agents took formation around the Espada. The gate started to lift and the agent at the front began to walk. They all took this as a sign to follow."
They walked through wide streets and then up many steps. Finally they reached a pair of large double doors. When they pushed through they soon realized they did walk into a literal death trap. Yamamoto was standing at the head of the room and all of the Captains were aligned at either of his sides.
"Shit." Grimmjow muttered.
Szayel tugged his sleeve.
"I bet they're going to rape me first."
"No I think they'd rape Ulqiuorra first."
"You really think so?"
"You're totally winning, hair looks great!"
Grimmjow gave him a thumbs up. Szayel smiled slightly and adjusted his glasses.
"So all ten of you are here" Yamamoto's voice boomed.
Szayel and Grimmjow were broken out of their mini conversation by how loud and strong his voice was.
Yamamoto stepped down and walked slowly towards them.
"And how is it exactly that you're here?"
As the first Espada Starrk stepped forward.
"Sir our bodies were reincarnated in Hueco Mundo. We escaped and came here seeking asylum and forgivness. We can be of great use to you, we all posses Zanpaktou."
"Why would I give a former enemy asylum?" Yamamoto bellowed.
Soi Fon had been watching the Espada intently. Ulquiorra in particular. She kept staring at his chest. The spot where his hole was suppose to be. But she couldn't see it. She broke out of line and walked forward. She raised a finger at Ulquiorra.
"You strip!"
Ulquiorra looked stunned.
"Me?" He asked
"Yes you, now drop it!"
Normally he would have refused but he was desperate as well. He slid his rags over his head and threw them on the floor leaving him in his underwear.
Soi Fon laughed a little covering her mouth with her hand.
"What's so funny?" Ulquiorra demanded trying to cover himself.
"Boxer briefs? I mean who are you trying to impress? You have no business!"
Ulquiorra put his hands over his crotch. "I have plenty of business."
"What's your point Captain?" Yamamoto asked.
Soi Fon walked up to Ulquiorra and placed her hand on his chest.
"Are you seeing what I'm seeing? His hollow hole is gone."
Yamamoto looked thoughtfully at Ulquiorra.
Soi Fon brought her hand down and traced her fingers over the right side of his chest.
"His number is gone to."
"Are they all like this?
"Everyone strip." Soi Fon yelled.
Everyone obeyed and started striping their rags off except Tia Harribel.
"Excuse me?" She asked pointing to herself.
Soi Fon raised her hand. "Not you no one wants to see that sugar tits!"
"Ahem I beg to differ." Shunsui interjected.
"I agree." Zaraki added.
"Fools." Toshiro muttered.
Once all the Espada had stripped Soi Fon walked around inspecting them.
"Just as I suspected no holes, no numbers."
"Are you suggesting they're more like Soul Reapers now?" Byakuya asked.
"Possibly." Soi Fon said rubbing her chin.
"Should we help them?" Toshiro asked.
Szayel couldn't take it and he threw himself on the floor.
"Please Sir we're so hungry!"
Yamamoto blinked at his sudden desperation. Looking at their naked bodies he could see how skinny they had become, even the fat one. They did seem sincere enough.
"Since Aizen is no longer around I assume you have no hidden agenda?"
Starrk shook his head.
"I'm going to extend you a life line. You may live in the Rukon district making an honest living. Also if any of my Captains want you they can take you, but I don't think they will."
Soi Fon stepped forward. "I got dibbs on Starrk, blueberry, pinkie, and the anorexic emo kid."
"Hey that's not fair you took all the good ones!" Shunsui argued.
"Snooze you lose teen wolf, don't you respect dibbs?"
"I do but it's not fair when you get all the good shit!"
"What's that supposed to mean?" Yammy demanded.
Soi Fon looked past Shunsui. "It means you came in second place and your parents don't love you."
"I call the blonde girl." Toshiro yelled.
Shunsui spun around. "Hey I wanted her."
"It's like Soi Fon said respect dibbs."
"You only want her because you're trying to lose your virginity and Mastumoto has already turned you down!"
"I call the black dude." Ukitake yelled.
Everyone stared at him.
"What? I don't have any color in my squad, I want to spice things up!"
"You can't have Szayel he's a researcher, he belongs in Squad 12!" Kurotsuchi yelled.
"Did you not just hear the conversation fuck face? You can't break dibbs you must respect it!" Soi Fon yelled back.
"Why don't you ask him?"
Soi Fon looked at Szayel. "I have tons of food that I'd love to give to you."
Szayel bowed to Kurotsuchi. "I'm sorry she has food."
Kurotsuchi shook his head. "Low blow Fon!"
Soi Fon clapped her hands. " I have a great idea why don't you take Aaroniero. His face is fucked and so is yours. So you can both have fun fixing each others faces!"
"ASSHOLE!"
Soi Fon turned to her new subordinates. "Shall we gentlemen?"
They all obliged and started to follow her.
"Have fun fighting over the rest of the trash!" Soi Fon called.
The four Espada followed Soi Fon down the steps and down numerous streets. Soi Fon walked beside Szayel and put an arm around him.
"Don't worry about Kurotsuchi, nobody likes him."
"Is it his face?"
"I think that's partially it, mostly he's a douche bag."
Szayel laughed a little.
The five approached a huge house. Soi Fon took out the keys and went to the door.
"This is your place?" Ulquiorra asked.
"It's huge." Starrk commented.
"First off that's what she said. And secondly yes. Captains are treated very well in the Soul Society. We each get a huge house with many rooms. You guys will be staying with me. I would put you in the barracks but the other Soul Reapers would bully you because of who you are."
Soi Fon pushed the door open and they all walked in. The living room had a Tuscan theme and several leather couches were stood around the room. Starrk and Szayel both jumped onto them glad to have a soft spot to lie down. Soi Fon went to a closet and opened it pulling out several Soul Reaper uniforms. She handed some to each of them and they all eagerly put them on.
"Yes I'm a Soul Reaper!" Grimmjow said touching his new uniform.
"Ok now Ulquiorra let's make a list." Soi Fon requested.
"Of what?" He asked.
"People we're going to invite to our party."
"We're having a party?" Szayel asked.
"Yes a celebration of your induction into Squad 2"
"Alcohol?" Starrk asked.
Soi Fon nodded.
Starrk and Grimmjow high fived.
"Are you inviting Ichigo?" Ulquiorra asked.
"Of course he's a good friend."
"What about his friends."
"Yes they're very respected in the Soul Society."
"Does that mean that Orihime is coming?"
Soi fon started eating something and passed it to Szayel.
"Yes I suppose it does."
Ulquiorra's eyes went wide.
"We can't invite her!"
"Of course we are, what's gotten into you?"
Grimmjow snickered. "He's had a secret crush on that girl ever since he saw her!"
"That is not true!" Ulquiorra snapped.
"Why is it that you were the one who volunteered to kidnap her?" Szayel asked.
"And you also volunteered to take care of her to!" Starrk laughed.
"The proof is in the pudding." Grimmjow remarked.
Soi Fon smiled. She had a plan.