Andrew, Meredith 15x18

First, thanks to your suggestions and comments on my first story. And now to this one...

(English isn't my native language. Please excuse my mistakes. Suggestions for improvement are always welcome. :) )

(After dinner they sat down on the couch with a glass of wine.)

Meredith noticed that Andrew was trying to avoid talking about the situation with his father. And she also didn't bring it up over dinner, but she wanted him to know that he can talk to her, that she will be there for him. Also she didn't want to be pushed away again. But she knew, she wasn't the best at sharing herself and when she wants him to open up about his feelings to her she has to do the same.

She didn't really know where to start so she took a last sip from her glass of wine and then put it on the little table in front of the couch before she hesitantly started.

„You know... you can talk to me" She looked up at him.

He didn't look at her neither did he answer so she just continued „I know I am not the best at sharing myself and it's alright if you need time…
But I don't want to be pushed away again" She added after a short break, trying not to sound too harsh. Her point wasn't to make him feel bad for what he did. It was more the opposite. She wanted him to know that she could understand what he did and why he did it, but also that he can talk to her.

„I'm sorry" Andrew finally looked at her.

„Don't be, you already apologized. I just want you to know that I get why you did this. I have been there. Believe me. Just let me know when you need time and don't shut me out next time. I am the last person, who won't give you the time you need…"

Andrew grabbed her hand and leaned towards her. He placed a kiss at her lips. It was a short kiss, but with all the feelings he had for her. He was happy to be with her. She always made him feel better. He promised himself that he wanted to try to share things with her.

Meredith moved towards him and let him kiss her before she asked „Is this an yes?"

„Yes, I will try, when the same applies to you. I already noticed you don't like talking about all these feelings"

They both had to smile.

She took another sip from her glass of wine and moved even closer to him until she could lean on him. Then she said smiling „I will do my best"

Andrew put his arm around her and placed a small kiss on her head.

She was always surprised how he made her feel comfortable, even if they were talking about things she didn't really like to talk about. But right now she felt like she could share a little bit about her family story with him „So you know, my mother was a surgeon, too" she started.

Of course he knew. But he was curious what she wanted to say, so he simply nodded and looked at her reassuringly.

„I always looked up to her as a surgeon, but as a mother… I promised myself I want to be a better, a more loving mother…"

Andrew wasn't quite sure where this was going and he had a feeling that she wanted to add something. So he decided to just hold her tight and let her continue.

„I think to a certain degree she loved me, too, but her work was her life. And when she got alzheimers…" she made a pause. „it just got more complicated" She decided to end this sentence and to start with another thought „But I loved her anyway, she was my mother, you know… Sometimes I even dream of her. So I know complicated" She said with a little smile on her face.

„So you have dreams about your mother?" Andrew looked at her with a soft smile.

„Well not the kind of dreams you would think of. They're not about family memories or somthing like this… The idea for my research, of which i said that it came to me in a dream. It was actually my mother who told me about it in my dreams "

„Wow" Andrew whispered more to himself, but Meredith could still hear him and both started to chuckle.

Meredith realized how it must have sounded, that her mother was giving her ideas for her research in her dreams. For her it was almost normal.

They sat there for a moment in silence, a comfortable silence. He still had his arm around her and she was leaning against him, resting her head on his shoulders. She loved these moments, where they were there for each other and knew what the other one needed, even if it was just a moment of silence.

When Andrew started to talk she lifted her head so she could look at him. „So you already know a little bit about my dad…"

She could remember, when he told her in the elevator. About the two sides his father had, the one with his mental illness and the incident with the patients he treated, but also the other one, where his father taught him the names of the stars and showed him how to kick a soccer ball. The side where his father was his dad.

„So after the night with the patients…" He stopped.

She knew it wasn't one of his favorite memories about his dad. So she reached for his hand to comfort him. They looked at each other and then he continued „… My mother took me with her to the States. After that, I did not really have much contact for years… With the death of my mother, I visited him a little bit more, but my life was here and his was over there in Italy… So, when he came here… I wanted to believe him, I thought that this might be a new start… and then he left… And I realized that he will never be the man I knew as a child again. The man, who thought me about the stars, who showed me how to play soccer… And that hurts" He said with an uncertainty in his voice.

„I know" was all she had to say. They both knew that it hurts and they also knew that it needed time to hurt less. But with the right person it can be easier to get through this time.

In my opinion, it was necessary for them to talk about this situation again. I know the conversation could have taken place during dinner, but in my case, I decided to let them have a "peaceful dinner" without talking about things they don't like. Futhermore I think sitting on the couch is more comfortable.