Summary:
"I'll always love you, Lily."Disclaimer: Characters are JK's, inspiration from the beautiful Liebling. Go read her stuff, especially Poetry and Black and White Picture and anything R/L.
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"I worry about you, Lily."
"Why would you do that?"
"You're so alive…you're so in love."
"I'm not in love!"
"Yes, you are too…I think you're in love with James, only you don't know it yet."
"I'm not in love with James! James is a prat and he's so annoying and I'll never be in love with James. I'm in love with you always, Remus."
"If you say so, Lily."
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"Sirius says you were flirting terribly with him yesterday."
"I might have been."
"Why do you do that, Lily? You don't really like Sirius."
"Sirius is beautiful and charming and he's very alive, Remus."
"But you don't really like him."
"No."
"You shouldn't treat people like that, Lily."
"Why?"
"Because it hurts them. And the people that you really do like…they don't know if you really do like them or if you're just pretending."
"But…I do like you, Remus."
"Do you, Lily?"
"Of course I do! Don't you love me?"
"I'll always love you, Lily."
"Always is a very long time."
"But you'll only love me sometimes."
"No! I'll love you all the time, Remus, always."
"I think that you'll love James."
"I do not love James! Why do you think I love James? James is a prat and he's annoying and he thinks that he has everything…James has nothing, Remus, you have everything. I'll love you always. James doesn't even know me…"
"I know you, Lily."
"I know."
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"You've been depressed."
"How do you always know these things?"
"Your eyes are tired and your clothes are messy."
"I'm so tired of the same old things, Remus…and sometimes I think that's everything. You and James and Hogwarts and the same old Gryffindors, the same old classes. I get so tired of being me, Remus."
"You're always you. You can never be anyone else, Lily."
"But I still want to…"
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"I heard you're going out with Lucius Malfoy, Lily."
"I heard that, too."
"Why are you that stupid?"
"I love Lucius, Remus."
"I thought you loved me."
"I do love you."
"Then why are you going out with Lucius?"
"Lucius is beautiful and he's smart and he likes me, Remus."
"You're better than him."
"No. Sometimes he's better than me."
"Never think that, Lily. Never put yourself down, even for just a minute. You're so much better than that."
"I can't help it, Remus. Sometimes I think I hate myself."
"You can't hate yourself, Lily. If you hate yourself then you can't love anyone else."
"And I have to love you."
"You have to love me."
"Will you love me even when I don't?"
"Always, Lily."
--
"I broke up with Lucius."
"I know."
"Are you happy?"
"I'm proud of you."
"I'm not. I feel horrible. I feel like hitting myself cause I was so mean and horrible and I loved him."
"You didn't love him, Lily."
"How can you say that? You don't know what I felt for him, you don't even know him. You—you say all these things and you don't know anything, Remus! You don't know Lucius! You're worse than James!"
"I know you're better than him, Lily. Don't yell at me."
"Why shouldn't I yell at you? You don't care about me, you only care about me if I'm doing stuff you want me to do, you don't even know me! You don't love me!"
"That's not true and you know it. I love you."
"You don't even care! I hate you, Remus. I hate you!"
"You don't hate me, Lily."
"Yes I do!"
"It's okay to cry, Lily."
"I don't want to cry!"
"I love you, Lily."
"I…I don't want to cry…" sobbing. "I thought I loved him, Remus, I thought I loved him and I don't want to ever see anyone ever again…"
"It's okay, Lily. I'll always love you."
--
"You're going to Hogsmeade with James this weekend."
"James isn't so bad after all, Remus. He gave me flowers and said he was sorry about Lucius."
"Mmm."
"Why do you look like that? Did you say something to him?"
"No, Lily. James loves you."
"I don't know if I love James."
"You've always loved James, Lily."
"Why do you say that? I haven't always loved James. I've always loved you, Remus."
"But you love James more."
"I…I don't know. I love you more, Remus, and I always will."
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"You're getting married this weekend, Lily."
"You're going to be there."
"Of course. I wouldn't miss it for the world."
"I'm sorry, Remus."
"Sorry for what? For being happy? You and James were meant to be."
"…but, but…you love me, Remus."
"I always loved you, Lily."
"It's okay to cry."
"I don't want to cry. I'm very happy for you."
"You're very sad, Remus."
"Marry James tomorrow. But I always love you, Lily."
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"I miss you, Lily."
"I miss you too, Remus."
"Sometimes I wish you were here. Sometimes I think that you shouldn't have married James, that if you had stayed with me things would have gotten better."
"It's okay, Remus."
"It's not okay…it's all my fault. I should have been with you, I should have saved you. I should have died with you, not James. I'm sorry, Lily."
"Sorry for what?"
"Sorry for not protecting you, sorry for not loving you enough."
"…silly Remus. You always loved me."
"I always love you, Lily."
"Remus?"
…
"Yes, Sirius?"
"Who are you talking to?"
"No one, Sirius."
-fin-