A/n: What happens when a crazed writer reads Harry Potter, watches the X-Files and drinks too much Mt. Dew late at night? THIS!! A Harry Potter/X-Files cross-over parody. Yes…much insanity. This first chapter isn't quite as humorous as the rest will be; I just wanted to set everything up. Enjoy.

Harry Potter and the Alien Abduction

Ch. 1: And so it begins…

            Dana Scully sighed and ran a hand through her auburn hair as she stood behind her partner, Fox Mulder, in line in a small Washington DC airport. She heaved her duffel bag further onto her shoulder as she followed him through her terminal all the while wondering how she could have let Mulder talk her into this.

            About an hour into their flight, Scully's curiosity got the best of her. She turned to Mulder and said, "Explain to me again why I'm on a flight to England on the first day of my week off? The only thing I could understand from your ramblings on the phone was something about wizards and UFOs…I sincerely hope I heard wrong."

            Mulder grinned at her. "Nope, you heard right. A friend of mine, Arthur Weasley- who I met when I studied in London during college-remembered that I'm a big UFO buff and asked me if I could come investigate something for him."

            "Ok…sounds fair enough but where do wizards come in?"

            "Oh, Weasley's a wizard," Mulder said quite off-handedly, as if there were nothing unusual at all.

            This did not amuse Scully. "Mulder, you're telling me that I'm going all the way to England to investigate UFOs spotted by some college buddy of yours who thinks he's a wizard?!?"

            "Yup…except he really is a wizard. He sent me pictures of his flying Ford Anglina."

            Mulder reached into his briefcase, pulled out some pictures and handed them to Scully. She looked at them and jumped. The pictures, which showed a tall, red-headed man in a flying car, were moving. "Mulder…."

            "Oh, I forgot to tell you. They're wizard pictures. They move." Mulder looked at the one on top and grinned as Arthur Weasley waved jovially at him. Scully sighed again….this was going to be a long trip.

            Meanwhile, at the Burrow, Molly Weasley sighed. Of all the crazy things Arthur had done, this certainly made the top five. He had invited some Muggle friend of his from America to come investigate something or other with him at Hogwarts. It was insane. Arthur bounced through the back door, just home from work at the Ministry. "Hello Molly!" He called, coming into the living room where she was bewitching a feather duster to clean. "I can't believe Fox Mulder is actually going to be here today!" He grinned broadly.

            "Yes…" Molly clearly was not as excited as he was.

            Arthur glanced at his watch. "Gallopin' gargoyles! Is that the time? I have to get down to the…the…air-whatchamacallit to pick up Fox! See you later Molly!"

            Arthur dashed out of the house and Molly soon heard him start of the engine of his latest bewitched car-a 1967 Shelby he bought off a man in the Hog's Head who didn't know what it was.

            When Scully followed Mulder into the terminal at Heathrow airport, she didn't know what to expect next. Just as she was hoisting her duffel bag onto her shoulder she saw a tall, slightly balding, red-headed man running towards them. "MULDER!" He shouted and Mulder turned around. Mulder's eyes lit up and a wide grin spread across his face when he saw Arthur. "WEASLEY!"

            Arthur reached them and shook hands with Mulder so vigorously that Scully thought he was going to dislocate Mulder's shoulder. Arthur notice Scully and grinned. "Hey, Fox, is this the wife?"

            "Ha, he wishes!" Scully muttered with a grin.

            Mulder grinned too. "You know it, Scully." He turned back to Arthur and said, "This is Dana Scully. She's my partner at the FBI. Federal Beaueru of Investigation." Seeing the look of confusion on Arthur's face Mulder added, "We're kind of like the Muggle version of Aurors."

            "Ah, ok." Arthur, satisfied with this explanation, turned to Scully. "Please to meet you, Ms. Scully. Fox has told me quite a lot about you." He winked at her. "C'mon, the cars out this way."

            As they made their way to the car, Mulder said, "Hey, Arthur, would you mind laying off the 'Fox'? I usually just go by Mulder."

            "No problem, mate. Tonks is the same way."

            "Tonks?"

            "A friend of mine. She's an Auror. I'll introduce you to her; I think you two will get along fine."

            By now the trio had piled into the car and Arthur started it up and headed off to the Burrow, driving very badly.

            "So Arthur, what do you do for a living?" Scully inquired as he narrowly missed a mailbox.

            "Oh, I work at the Ministry of Magic, Misuse of Muggle Artifacts Office."

            "The ministry of what?"

            "Magic."

            Scully leaned back in her seat, very confused.

            It wasn't long before Arthur piloted the car into the garage at the Burrow. He led them inside and found his wife in the kitchen.

            "Molly!" He said when he saw her. "Molly, I'd like you to meet Fox Mulder and Dana Scully. Better know as just Mulder and Scully, I believe. Mulder, Scully, meet my wife, Molly."

            "How'd you do?" Molly said, shaking each of their hands in turn.

            Scully looked around the kitchen, taking everything in. The kitchen utensils making dinner on their own, the clock that told there whereabouts of each Weasley, the knitting needles knitting a swear midair…it was all too much.

            Arthur interrupted her thoughts. "You'll get to meet four of the seven kids tomorrow when we go to Hogwarts," he said. "Tonight we'd all better get a good night's sleep, right Mulder?"

            "Yeah, we'll need our strength to catch those aliens, eh, Scully?" Mulder said with a grin.

            Scully just stood there, still staring at everything around her. Flying cars? Ministry of Magic? Muggles? Wizards? Out of everything she'd ever seen working on the X-Files, this was defiantly the weirdest….

A/n: MUCH MORE TO COME!! Don't worry, I'm just getting started! They haven't even gotten to Hogwarts yet…that's when the fun will really begin! What's coming up you ask? Well, Snape in a frilly pink dress, Sirius and Lupin cause a bar fight, Hermione, Tonks and Scully go ten rounds with Jose Cuervo, aliens show up to abduct Harry and steal Ron's pants and Ginny falls in love with Mulder….just to name a few things….yes, it shall be BRILLANT!! Anyway…REVIEW!! The more you review, the faster the next chapter will come!!

~Mulder

Stay tuned for chapter two: Snape's New Look

D/C: JK Rowling owns Harry Potter and Chris Carter owns the X-Files, that's why they're rich and I'm working at Disneyland. All I own is the random insanity.