Note: Spoilers for the end of the manga.
The paper rustles for the third time in fifteen minutes.
And Sayu knows why she never reads these more, because the articles are boring, nothing remarkable-
Man, age thirty-seven, goes on a shooting rampage and kills five people, wounds two others.
Seven-year old accused of the death of her younger brother.
Elderly man found murdered in his home. (More details on page seven.)
Sayu knows that Kira is dead, and she wants to mock him, because as soon as he is gone, the crime starts again.
And Sayu also knows that she be mortified of these the things she is reading, (and deep, deep, down, she thinks she really is) but she just feels…
Neutral? Unsympathetic?
Blank.
She shrugs it off. She has never been that good at words. (Light was the smart one- he had been, at least.) Shifting slightly in her chair, Sayu turns back to the front page. She had been saving the best for last.
Kira has been killed, countries in an uproar-
And Sayu thinks. Of course countries (the whole world, really) are upset, raging. They had to live under that maniacs reign for-
What was it? Six, seven years? She shrugs again.
Mostly everyone had already given in, accepted, praised Kira for what he had done. Sayu remembered listening to something on the TV once, that followers of Kira were trying to make it into a religion or something.
It? Sayu really didn't know what it was. Murdering criminals? Strange thing it was, killing killers. Two wrongs don't make a right.
Then again, Sayu is biased. (She has a reason to be, too.)
Turning another page, Sayu skims over a few pictures of Kira worshippers, crying, wailing that their god was gone. (They're rioting, too. Causing so much destruction, just like the person they worshipped.)
Doesn't matter that he's dead, that man, because Sayu, her life is already ruined.
Father? Dead. Brother? Dead. Mother? An emotional wreck, crying softly most of the day, looking at old photos of her son and husband. (Sayu has noted that her mother rarely looks her in the eye anymore.)
Sayu, herself?
She thinks again, crumpling the paper in her hands.
Bitter? Angry? Shocked? (Disturbed, slightly, that she doesn't know what she is.)
She is... upset at the a lot of things, at criminals, at the police, at life, at whatever god there is, for bringing Kira into this world.
Sayu remembers vaguely, that, when criminals had just started dying, when Kira just appeared, a few of her friends had praised Kira for killing criminals, people who deserved to die. (Where were those friends now?)
Sayu is disgusted in herself, she agreed with them, back then.
Well, then she got herself kidnapped, her father lost whatever it was he was supposed to trade her for, and whatever it was, (a notebook?) Sayu knew it was important.
The first few hours back home were fine, she stayed in the house, relaxing, trying to get those memories out of her head. Then she broke down, didn't really know why, she just buried her face in the first thing she found, (a teddy bear Light gave her for her birthday) and cried.
She didn't do much after that. (Did she cry away all her tears?)
Didn't speak, didn't move, really. Stayed in her room for as long as possible.
Sayu realizes she hasn't turned the page in over ten minutes. She puts down the newspaper. (Nothing interesting.)
If not for her parents, she might have starved to death. Sayu muses on the thought as she picks up a magazine and skims through the pages.
She stops after she sees a familiar name, and reads.
Hideki Ryugas latest exploits- who was that he was with on Sunday?
You know who she hasn't seen in a while?
Amane. She was at Lights funeral, eyes red and puffy, mascara running, still wearing those black, puffy dresses. (It's a skimpy dress, as always.)
Sayu liked her a lot when she was younger. How cool was it, to have your older brother date a model?
Now, now Sayu wishes she had the will to tell Amane to get out, come back to the funeral when she could wear something decent. Cover herself up.
Tramp.
Sayu wonders if she should be thinking like this; she verifies her reasons again.
Her father had been killed- just died, maybe? Kira still had something to do with it. She had peeked into the casket, for some odd reason, and found that he was badly bruised. (Not he- his body. He is dead.)
Her brother had been killed, and this time, she knows it's by Kira, he died of a heart attack. At least, that's what they were told. She never saw Lights body. (Were they hiding something, the police force?)
Her mother, Sayu thinks, is losing it. She's going to leave it at that.
Amane is obviously heartbroken. At the funeral, she looked so lonely, she stood alone and cried her heart out. And Sayu could care less. Amane lost her "one true love," Sayu's lost more. Much more. Two-fourths of her family, and it's going to be three-fourths, soon. Her mothers eyes are going away.
Sayu turns another page in the magazine, glancing at the advice column.
My grades are going down, but I don't like studying, are there any tips you can give me?
I feel like no one likes me anymore, how-
Sayu snorts, then turns the page again.
No matter what, no matter what she said, (No matter what she thought, really. Sayu didn't talk much anymore, everyone knew that.) it all came down to one thing.
Her life was ruined. Mutilated. And… that's all that she really thought about these days.
It was Kira! His fault, his fault, his fault!
…Her fault?
Maybe. She's gotten to stubborn to speak, to angry at the world. (Angry at God?)
Could she fix up her own life, say a few words, tell her mother she loves her, then go out with her friends?
No. It's too simple, it doesn't work like that.
Sayu throws the magazine across the room. (It bounce off the wall, lands in a pile.) She turns on the TV, watches the newscaster. His eyes are slightly red, has he been crying? His hair is disheveled, his clothes wrinkled…
"The detective L has caught Kira, and, and-"
The man breaks down. Through sobs, Sayu could hear garbled sentences.
"Lord Kira… dead… How is it possible?" Oh. So this man is a Kira worshipper.
Sayu snorts again. Lord Kira. He had tried to cleanse the world of all its evil, tried to become justice.
Tried to play God.
Lord Kira.
What kind of person..?
What kind of fool tries to play God? What kind of arrogant, maniacal person-
Sayu wonders if she should tell someone how she feels, but…
What can it do? Her life's not going to be the same again.
Ever.
Sayu turns off the TV and leans back, deciding to just sit there.