Rating: General
Disclaimer: I do not own Voltron: Legendary Defender and make no profit from this work.
It all started when Coran uttered those accursed words.
"Sorry Paladins, Princess. But it seems the bathrooms are out of order."
There's silence.
Then all hell breaks loose. A cacophony of outraged teenage voices bounces around the main lounge where they're currently all gathered, including Princess Allura herself. Considering her state of dress - hair half out of her bun, nightgown wrinkled and backwards - and how disheveled the other teens look, their anger is more than justified.
For Shiro, who was looking forward to a nice relaxing soak in his tub after a hard day of training, he's just as annoyed as the rest. But their increasing volume isn't getting the bathrooms fixed and only serves to agitate his growing headache.
"Alright everyone, knock it off!" It goes quiet almost immediately, and Shiro pretends not to be unnerved by the glares suddenly focused on him. "Listen, believe me, I understand how you all feel. But it is what it is and Coran needs time to fix them."
"Thank you Number One. And luckily it shouldn't take very long to flush out that little bugger before I start repairs-"
"Wait, wait wait wait. There's something...living...inside the pipes?" Hunk grips Lance's shoulder, dizziness hitting him from his own realization.
"Not to worry Number Two, it's simply a Xectiax worm. They merely feed off the bacteria living in Altean water supplies. Normally they're beneficial but this one seems to have grown in size and damaged the piping. Absolutely nothing to worry about!"
"Oh yeah right, thanks Coran. No problem at all. I totally won't worry about the giant worm moving around freely in the ship that can escape at any time and kill us while we're sleeping."
Keith mutters something that suspiciously sounds like "and people call me crazy when I sleep with a knife" and Shiro pinches the bridge of his nose.
Lance, hands on his hips with his face mask half applied and hair wrapped in a scarf, speaks up. "How long is this gonna take to fix anyway?"
"Excellent question Number Three," and Coran mulls it over for a moment, twirling his mustache. "I would say about a movement, give or take a quintant."
"Oh well, I can work with a day."
"A movement is a week, Lance. We have no access to any sort of bathing for an entire week."
"Are you serious Pidge? What about my skincare routine? What about me not smelling like Keith after two hours in the training room?" He grunts as Keith elbows him in the stomach.
"I am in agreement with Lance, for once." Lance looks offended but Allura ignores him. "We cannot be without basic hygiene for so long Coran."
"Not to worry Princess, there is some good news. A single guest bathroom has been thankfully spared, so you'll all be sharing that until the repairs are complete." The devastated looks on the others faces show how they feel about the arrangements.
"I had no privacy at home, then had those stupid communal showers at the Garrison, and now this?"
"I mean I'm kind of used to it but it was nice having a bathroom to myself for once. Can't this be fixed faster?"
"I mean...I guess sharing isn't the worst thing. But Lance is right, this is too much like home but like, not in the warm and fuzzy way."
"Coran! While this is slightly improved over not bathing at all, we cannot simply share a bathroom together. That is barbaric."
Coran tries and fails to calm down the incensed group. Shiro, content to let them tire themselves out now that he knows what's going on, goes over to Keith. His brother has his arms crossed and head turned away, but Shiro notices him rubbing his forefinger and thumb together, his nervous tell.
"You okay buddy?" A shrug but the tell doesn't stop. Shiro has an idea what's bothering him though. "Hey, don't worry about it. Once everyone calms down we'll work out a schedule for bathroom rights."
Keith finally turns his head to face him. "Really? So no random barging in?"
Shiro grins back. "I know how shy you are Keith, I'll make sure no one comes in when you shower," and ruffles his hair, making Keith swat at him to stop. But Shiro sees the tension leave his shoulders and mentally pats himself on the back.
Three days into the arrangement and it works out so far. Everyone sticks to their agreed bathing schedule and, other than the odd disagreement about two people needing the other facilities at the same time, nothing crazy happens.
Keith is in the middle of his shower, using the hot water to work out the kinks and aches from a long training session. He's always treasured his privacy, especially during more personal moments like this when he can relax and indulge a little.
The spacious bathroom, which is attached to one of the guest bedrooms, is suffused with a soft blue glow and decorated with delicate pink floral patterns on the walls. From the entrance the shower is on the left, with the toilet in between that and the sink.
He suddenly hears a knock at the door and his heart spikes for a moment, annoyance setting in soon after for having his alone time interrupted. He lets everyone else use the bathroom without bothering them. Whoever it is knocks again and Keith lets out a frustrated growl before answering "What?"
"Sorry, it's me." He recognizes the voice of his brother and softens a bit. Not much because he's still invading but it's the thought that counts, he's sure. "Could I come in for a moment?" Keith groans but yells his agreement and Shiro enters.
"Don't mean to barge in on you, but I just need to brush my teeth. It slipped my mind when Allura called for me earlier. I promise I'll only be a couple min-"
Keith peeks his head out from behind the shower curtain, his long bangs wet and plastered to his face, making him resemble a Shih Tzu. Shiro has to fight himself not to snort at the sight. "Shut up. It's fine, not a big deal." Keith rolls his eyes to emphasize before closing the curtain again. Shiro chuckles and gets to work.
It's a comfortable silence between the two and Keith begins to relax again as the atmosphere calms. Shiro is about to finish up when the door bangs open, startling them. He whips around, Galran hand activating, and brandishes his toothbrush with the other. There's a muffled curse and a crash behind the curtain as something hits the shower floor.
"Whoa whoa, it's me guys be cool!" And Lance holds his hands up in mock surrender. The purple glow from Shiro's arm slowly fades and he turns to face the pale-faced teen. "Sorry about that, you just surprised us."
"Well I'm not! Now get out." Keith poked his head out again, face scowl on full blast. Lance walks around Shiro and attempts to wheedle Keith. "C'mon don't be like that, please? I just need to finish up my routine. I totally forgot an important mid-week step and my skin will dry up if I don't do it soon." Lance then tries to pry the curtain from Keith's hands, which is how he normally annoys his siblings back home and gets his way.
Keith lets out what Lance and Shiro can only describe as a pterodactyl screech before yanking it back and pushing him away, closing it back up.
Lance slowly backs away until he reaches the sink and quickly pulls out some cream from the cabinet, not one to waste an opportunity. Shiro awkwardly waves to him, in the process of rinsing his mouth and Lance's expression lights up.
"Oh hey! I guess you needed the place too huh?" He speaks as if this was the first time they talked and Shiro didn't almost impale him with his prosthetic.
Shiro spits out the water and speaks up. "Unfortunately. But we should leave soon, Keith needs his privacy."
"Yeah, yeah just gotta finish up real quick…" And strips off his face mask to start applying his cream, mumbling about wasted ingredients. Just as Shiro finishes wiping his mouth and is ready to corral Lance out, someone else rushes through the open door and makes a beeline for the toilet.
"Hunk how's it - oh gross ah man you okay?"
"Really, Hunk's here too now?"
"I know Keith but he's in a bad way." And Hunk heaves again to emphasize the point. Shiro looks to Lance, who's panicking and gesturing to Hunk but can't touch him due to the gunk on his hands. So he goes instead and holds back Hunk's hair, rubbing circles on his back with the other. Lance comes to his other side and comforts him in Spanish.
Hunk finishes in a full body shudder and with Shiro's help goes to the sink to wash his mouth out. "Are, are you okay Hunk?" Keith asks, voice soft behind the curtain.
"Yeah. Yeah I'm, I'm good thanks. Thanks guys."
Lance speaks up as he washes the last of the cream mix off his hands. "What happened anyway? Not like the Castle's been through any turbulence today so it can't be motion-sickness."
Hunk goes to sit against the wall, on the opposite side of the shower. "Let's just say that Yggdraxil b-beans aren't, aren't meant for human consum-consumption. Oh man…."
"Most likely food poisoning then. We should let Coran look you over, to make sure there's no lingering effects." Shiro moves to help lift Hunk back up but he slowly shakes his head. "No it's cool, l-lemme, lemme just sit here...a moment."
"Well I'm finishing up my shower now, so you have until then."
"Hey! Don't be so rude Mullet, it's not Hunk's fault."
"Yeah I know, but guess who is."
"Listen, you think flawless skin like this just grows on trees?"
"That doesn't even make sense-"
"Alright guys, that's enough. Keith, we'll be out before then. And Lance, we'll help Hunk up once he catches his breath."
"Wow, it's a real party in here huh?"
"Hey Pidge!" Lance waves cheerily and Hunk follows with a weak one of his own before groaning. As Pidge chats up the two young men, Shiro hears the sound of crushed plastic followed by a loud plop coming from the shower and can practically see Keith spilling body wash as he chokes the life out of the bottle.
Shiro rubs his face, suddenly very tired. "Pidge, why are you even here?"
"Well, I was making my way around here anyway when I heard everyone having a grand old time and got curious. Also, what happened to Hunk?"
"Hunk tried those whatz-it beans we got from that planet a few days ago and well…" Lance waves a hand, presenting exhibit A.
"You know, you know the worst part? They were really good. C-could've used 'em as a substitute for chocolate. I feel so betrayed," Hunk finishes in a whisper and Lance pats his back.
"Oh so that's where everyone is! The Princess and I have some great news."
"We have located a nearby planet teeming with medicinal planet-life we can make use of." The Alteans waltz in, as if gathering in a guest bathroom was the most natural occurrence.
Shiro feels the snap of tension in the air. He throws Hunk's arm over his shoulder and lifts him, making a beeline for the door.
"GET. OUT! EVERYBODY OUT!" Keith brandishes the removable showerhead and douses the group with hot water.
Despite knowing what's coming, he still yells at the blast of water on his back. With a dramatic cry Coran takes the brunt of the spray for Allura, who's shrieking about a Red Paladin gone mad. Lance and Pidge aren't spared from the onslaught.
"Mullet stop you're ruining my pyjamas!"
"Keith you jerk!"
No one barges in on Keith's time for the rest of the week and his bathroom is coincidentally the first to be fixed.
Just to confirm, Keith spared Hunk from the wrath of his showerhead because he was sick.
Me: Writing a fanfic that might possibly have Keith be mean to Hunk.
My mind: *Iyanla vine* NOT ON MY WATCH!