Hey all! This is my first time writing a Grey's Anatomy story, so I'm really excited to see where it goes! It's set after Meredith/Derek's fight in the season seven finale. At this point, I'm not really sure how long it's going to be…maybe just a few chapters or maybe it'll become a full-blown story.

Let me know if you think I should continue : )

Disclaimer: I'm in no way affiliated with Grey's Anatomy (unfortunately)

"Okay, it's going to be okay," Meredith said, half to herself and half to Zola.

Her and Derek's fight was still running through her mind, his words echoed in her head over and over again. Did he really mean it when he said he didn't know how to raise a child with someone like her? Did he really think she would be a bad mother? Meredith glanced down at Zola in her arms. She had just been granted custody of this adorable, little girl. This was a moment she had waited ages for and yet she couldn't fully enjoy it. Derek should be here with her. They should be bringing her home together. But they weren't. It just didn't feel right to have it happen like this, especially after everything they had been through. Even though her heart was full with joy over Zola and the feeling of her little body pressed so close to her chest, it was also shattered into a million tiny pieces over what had just gone down in the hospital with Derek.

When she switched the drugs, Meredith knew that he would be mad; but in that moment, she was only thinking of Richard and Adele. Richard was the only father figure she had left in her life, and she couldn't bear the thought of having to watch him lose another person to Alzheimer's. She just hoped that Derek would eventually be able to see that.

Trying to juggle a squeamish Zola and an awkward car seat, Meredith carefully pulled out her phone from her bag. She had already run through the hospital trying to track Derek down after she had received the news, but he must have already left. He probably had 20 or so, missed calls from her on his cell phone, but Meredith figured one more attempt wouldn't hurt.

She felt her heart sink again, when the phone just kept ringing and ringing.

"Derek please pick-up," she willed aloud, just as the answering machine came on.

"Derek please, please call me. I know you're pissed off; you have right to be pissed off at me, I get that. But this isn't about me, okay? It's about Zola. So please call me back as soon as you get this, please!" She paused for a brief second before adding, "I…I love you. And I'm sorry."

Meredith forced back the tears brimming in her eyes, as she threw her phone back into her bag. She continued to fumble with the tangle of buckles and straps to the car seat the nurse had given her.

"I have a baby and no husband," she thought to herself as she finished buckling in the car seat.

"I have no idea what the hell I'm doing," she mumbled under her breath. She could have called Cristina or even Alex to help her, but she had a feeling that would just cause her to break down in tears.

"Okay Zola," Meredith said, putting on a big, albeit fake, smile. "Time to go home! Are you excited?"

The little girl gave Meredith a big smile in return, which instantly helped relieve some of the stress, panic and sadness she was feeling. Being extra cautious not to hit Zola's head on the roof, Meredith gently placed her in the car seat, fastening the straps around her. Paranoid that she did something wrong, Meredith checked 10 times to make sure everything was done right. She leaned down to place a kiss on Zola's cheek, before closing the door.

"Okay, I can do this," Meredith told herself as she shut her car door and began backing out of the parking lot. "It's going to be fine," she reassured herself, even though she didn't quite believe her words.

She continued to talk to Zola on the way home, not even paying attention to what she was saying. Her mind was constantly thinking about Derek and the words they had screamed at each other minutes before. She ran a hand through her hair and bit down on her lip to stop herself from crying. Normally, Meredith wasn't a crier, but after everything that had happened lately, she just couldn't keep it in anymore.

She pulled up to the red light, closed her eyes for a brief second and took a long, deep and shaky breath. But it didn't help much. Glancing at the empty seat next to her, the tears that had been building up in her eyes finally pooled over, running down her cheeks. She quickly brushed them away, not wanting Zola to see her like this, even though Meredith knew she wouldn't understand. Meredith wiped away the remaining tears from her eyes, glancing at Zola in the rear-view mirror. Just seeing Zola perched happily in the back seat made Meredith smile.

"We're almost home ZoZo," Meredith said, glancing back and smiling.

The light turned green and Meredith eased her foot off the break. She couldn't believe that she was actually a mom. A mom. The thought made her excited and scared at the same time. She had butterflies in her stomach at the mere idea of it all.

She was just about to turn onto the next street, when a large bright light impaired her entire line of vision. Before Meredith could even react, she felt a sudden and heavy force hit them on the left side, crushing her body together. She was lurched forward suddenly, the constraint of the seatbelt holding her back as it cut into her chest. The car spun out and she was flung back again, her head whipping back and hitting the headrest with a hard impact.

In that moment, two thoughts entered her mind.

Zola and Derek.

Then everything turned black.